Stop it, you sound like a broken record.
ACE
You clearly don’t see just how bad this situation is. There’s a bench in the outfield! You know what that means! On-field bullpen!
ROBERT
Don’t worry Ace, the odds we actually have to warm up are slim to none.
CHARLES
I’m just scared one of us is gonna be drilled by a ball. You know, maybe the one who didn’t bring his glove today.
MANNY
You didn’t bring your glove?
CHARLES
I did. You didn’t. You’re the coach.
MANNY
I’ll just duck if a ball comes our way and it doesn’t hit one of you guys first.
FELIX
On-field bullpen is fine. The worst part about being so far away from home is no free food from Harry. Now let’s just all sit back and watch the game.
Everyone sits down as the game begins, with the Indianapolis Primitives batting first.
The batter hits the first pitch. DEVIN screams.
MANNY
What’s the matter?!
DEVIN
Phew. Thought that ball might hit me.
MANNY
It went to the opposite side of the park.
ROBERT
Manny, the manager’s calling.
MANNY picks up the phone.
MANNY
Hello?…Yes…Alright.
MANNY hangs up the phone.
MANNY
Ace, they want you to warm up.
ACE
Are…are you kidding me?
MANNY
They also want Devin to catch.
ACE gets up and walks to the rubber. He notices JASON, former bullpen member and current pitching coach, look at him and smirk.
ACE
Did you see that?! He just smirked at me!!!
ROBERT
Guys, I think Jason’s messing with us.
ROBERT’s phone buzzes. He looks down.
ROBERT
Yep, just got the text from Jason. He says he’s messing with us.
ACE
That was a close one. Guess we can sit down now.
FELIX
I say warm up. Show him what you got.
ACE
I don’t got all that much.
FELIX
Prove him wrong.
ACE walks back to the rubber and throws the ball. It flies over DEVIN’s head and hits the first baseman in the back in the middle of a play. The first baseman misses the catch. ACE sprints away.
FELIX
Ridiculous. Here, I’ll show Jason what’s what.
DEVIN
Do I really have to catch it?
FELIX
Only if you want to stop this from hitting someone.
FELIX throws the ball. It bounces off DEVIN’s chest.
FELIX
You were supposed to catch it!
DEVIN
You threw it too fast!
FELIX
Here, I’ll catch. It’s not THAT hard.
DEVIN and FELIX switch spots. FELIX throws the ball. It makes its way into the crowd. They jump the wall and run up to DEVIN.
PERSON FROM CROWD
What was that for?!
DEVIN
I am so sorry Sir. You see, I’m not really a great pitcher.
PERSON FROM CROWD
I was cautiously optimistic I wouldn’t get hit by a ball today! Guess I was wrong on that.
VOICE IN THE DISTANCE
YOU WERE WRONG ON A LOT OF THINGS!
PERSON FROM CROWD
Don’t know what he’s talking about.
CHARLES
Ohhhhh I know who you are! You are lucky our snack guy isn’t here today.
MANNY
I do have a granola bar if you’d like, though.
PERSON FROM CROWD
Okay.
The PERSON FROM CROWD takes the granola bar from MANNY and leaves.
MANNY
Well, that’s all the food I have. See you guys later.
MANNY leaves. JASON jogs over to everyone else.
JASON
So apparently you guys are a safety hazard and I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Sorry guys.
ACE
Sorry? This is a dream come true!
FELIX, CHARLES, ROBERT, DEVIN, and ACE all leave.