Raymond Island Season 2 Episode 12 - Rhode Island High

Raymond Island Season 2, Episode 12

Rhode Island High

Gretchen is at her desk when Susana rushes in.

Susana: Gretchen, we have a problem.

Gretchen: Bigger than me having to see my mother today?

Susana: Well… maybe not that bad.

Gretchen: What’s the issue?

Carol: The press wants to know your thoughts on marijuana legalization.

Susana: I was supposed to tell her that.

Carol: I could sense that you were going to drag it out.

Susana: I was not!

Carol: You usually do.

Gretchen: Can we back this up?

Carol: To where?

Susana: Hopefully before mom told you what I was going to tell you.

Carol: Grow up, Susana!

Gretchen: Carol, Susana is your equal in this workplace. Treat her with respect.

Carol: She’s an assistant. I’m your chief of staff. She is staff. I’m her chief!

Gretchen: Carol!

Carol: Fine…

Susana: Thank you, Governor Raymond.

Carol: Now she’s calling you by your professional title to try to kiss up to you!

Gretchen: I think you’re the one who needs to grow up.

Carol: You did not just say that to me!

Samantha: Oh, can you all just shut up?

Gretchen: Lock the door.

Samantha: I’m already here.

Gretchen: Get her out and lock the door.

Carol: Why are you here?

Samantha: Such warm reception, as always. I’m here to talk about the very thing you’re complaining about.

Gretchen: I can’t wait to see your nuanced take on this issue.

Samantha: These progressives in the legislature are a real pain in my ass. I feel pressured to speak out on something I don’t want to weigh in on.

Gretchen: I actually agree with you there.

Samantha: Those are the worst words you could ever say to me.

Susana: I didn’t love hearing them either. You’re always so progressive, Gretchen. I can’t believe you don’t want to get out there and support legalization.

Gretchen: I want it legalized, I do.

Samantha: Commie.

Gretchen: Braying ass.

Carol: I’m gonna go get some popcorn. Want any, Suze?

Susana: Pass.

Gretchen: I want pot legalized, because it’s the right thing. I just don’t know how to juggle that with these polls that say Rhode Islanders only want medical marijuana. 54% of Rhode Islanders oppose recreational marijuana.

Susana: The polls said that well over 54% of Rhode Islanders disapproved of you.

Samantha: And they were absolutely right!

Susana: You should ignore the polls and do what’s right. You coming out for it can move minds and force Jeanne and Hank to act on legalization.

Carol: What’s right is always more important than what’s popular. That’s what you always say.

Samantha: That doesn’t make any sense. She’s never done what’s right.

Gretchen: Remember when you told me a few weeks ago that you were proud of me?

Samantha: That was never supposed to leave the room.

Gretchen: Oops.

Samantha: I’d better get going. Exposure to you for more than five minutes will cause me to break out in hives.

Gretchen: I never noticed any hives on you after our elevator adventure.

Samantha: I guess you weren’t looking close enough.

Gretchen: I need to get out of here, too. I have to go to Newport for a museum re-opening and then I need to get to Mary’s.

Carol: What museum?

Gretchen: The tennis one.

Carol: I love tennis. Why was I not asked to attend?

Gretchen: I figured you were busy.

Susana: She’s very busy informing the press of your non-answer about marijuana legalization.

Gretchen: I will come up with a statement by tomorrow. It’s not like they’re voting on it tonight.

Susana: I am rarely disappointed with you, please don’t disappoint me tomorrow.

Gretchen: Rarely?

Three hours later, at Mary’s…

Mary: Don’t come in.

Gretchen: That’s a very rude way to greet your sister.

Mary: I need to talk to you outside.

Gretchen: That’s a slight improvement.

Mary steps onto the porch and closes the door behind her.

Mary: You need to take her home with you.

Gretchen: Who? The signed picture of Joan Baez on your wall? Sure, I’d be happy to.

Mary: Are you kidding me? It’s me and Joan against the world! I have nothing else to save me from the nightmare that is my life.

Gretchen: Your children?

Mary: Have you met them?

Gretchen: I can relate, mine drive me crazy sometimes, too. Well, Christina does. Toby is harmless.

Mary: Mine are so much worse than you could ever imagine.

Gretchen: Who do you want me to take home with me?

Mary: Our mother…

Gretchen: Pass.

Mary: She’s driving me insane.

Gretchen: She’s been with you for three weeks.

Mary: She criticizes everything I do. I think you not being in her life has made her find a new target and that is sadly me.

Gretchen: She’s lived with me for damn near ten years. You can ask me to take her once you surpass that.

Mary: What if we leave her on the steps of a firehouse.

Gretchen: That’s how you abandon a baby, not an elderly woman who bites.

Mary: We can drop her off at Eddie’s.

Gretchen: He’d kill her.

Mary: Would that be the worst thing that could happen to us?

Gretchen: Mary! She is our mother!

Mary: She’s a monster.

Gretchen: But a motherly monster.

Mary: Please get her out of my house!

Lucinda opens the front door.

Lucinda: What are you girls talking about?

Mary: Ahh!

Lucinda: You’re out here talking on the porch while I’m left inside wondering where you went. Very rude, Mary.

Mary: We’re coming inside now, mother.

Lucinda: At last.

Mary: We were out here for like five minutes.

Lucinda: Five minutes too long!

Gretchen: Hi, mom. How are you doing?

Lucinda: Gretchen! It’s so nice to see you! I’ve missed you!

Gretchen: Mom, is that you?

Lucinda: Gretchen, come on! I’m your mother, of course I’ve missed you.

Gretchen: Mary, this is the woman you called a m-

Mary: Shh!

Lucinda: Come on in, I made tea.

Gretchen: Since when do you make tea?

Lucinda: Since Mary refuses to make dinner before eight o’clock and I need something to fill me up after lunch.

Mary: You’re perfectly capable of making your own food, mother.

Lucinda: You always tell me not to!

Gretchen: Let’s go in the house! The neighbors don’t need to see or hear this.

Mary: They’re used to it by now.

Gretchen, Mary and Lucinda walk into the house.

Lucinda: Gretchen, can I talk to you in private?

Mary: Sure, leave me out. I don’t mind.

Gretchen: Let’s go talk.

Mary: She’s planning something… I don’t like it.

Lucinda and Gretchen walk to Mary’s laundry room.

Lucinda: This place is private. This is where I go to play Candy Crush at night when I don’t want to be bothered.

Gretchen: Don’t you have a room?

Lucinda: It doesn’t have “wiffy.”

Gretchen: I don’t… think that’s how wifi works. And I know “wiffy” is not how you pronounce it.

Lucinda: I don’t care how it’s pronounced. I need you to get me out of this place!

Gretchen: It can’t be that bad.

Lucinda: Your sister drives me crazy!

Gretchen: She drives us all crazy.

Lucinda: I can not live here anymore, Gretchen. We bickered when we lived together but not like this.

Gretchen: You bickered with me.

Lucinda: I know, and I’m sorry! I’m not going to do it again. I see now how good I had it.

Gretchen: Hearing those words brings me great joy, because I feel your pain. I love it!

Lucinda: That’s sociopathic, Gretchen.

Gretchen: No, it’s just schadenfreude, and I’ve earned it. I’ve really earned it.

Lucinda: Can you forgive me already?

Gretchen: Not with that attitude.

Lucinda: I’m sorry I always try to tear you down. I’m overly critical because I care.

Gretchen: I always hear that excuse.

Lucinda: It’s true, Gretchen. I want you to be the best you can be. My parents were just as critical towards me and it made me successful.

Gretchen: I am the governor. And don’t you butt in and say that being Governor of Rhode Island isn’t an accomplishment, because it is!

Lucinda: It is, I get that it is. I’m very proud of you. You know that, right?

Gretchen: Eh…

Lucinda: I’m going to try to cut it out with the nasty jabs. You’re accomplished enough as it is. I will, however, continue to give my honest opinion about policies. Sometimes we’ll disagree.

Gretchen: That’s okay, I want that! Just, don’t be so mean about it.

Lucinda: So can I move back in?

Gretchen: I think Mary might kill you if you stay another day, so that’s probably for the best.

Lucinda: I don’t want her to think it was my idea. Act like it’s your idea.

Gretchen: She does know you asked to speak to me. You do know that, right?

Lucinda: Of course I know that! She doesn’t know what I said. Maybe I just wanted to apologize in private. I did do that.

Gretchen: Okay, I won’t tell her that you wanted to go home with me. I’ll lie to her. I’ll lie to your youngest, favorite daughter.

Lucinda: Thank you, Gretchen!

Gretchen and Lucinda walk out to the living room.

Mary: So, have a nice talk?

Gretchen: It was very nice. In fact -

Mary: So, what’s up with you, Gretchen? Anything interesting happening at work?

Gretchen: Marijuana legalization is the hot topic of the day. Some of the progressive state legislators want to push a vote on it, the moderates don’t, and I have yet to publicly declare any position on it.

Lucinda: You need to come out in favor of legalization.

Gretchen: Oh, wow. I didn’t expect you to be so in favor of it.

Lucinda: It’s just the right thing to do. It’s ridiculous that people go to jail for possession of marijuana. It’s 2021! We’re on like the sixth reboot of Charlie’s Angels!

Mary: There hasn’t been a Charlie’s Angels reboot since - never mind.

Lucinda: The war on drugs was a scam to imprison more people, mostly people of color, because suffering and fear-mongering are what fuel the Republican Party.

Gretchen: When she’s right, she’s right.

Lucinda: So why are you undecided on this?

Gretchen: Public opinion in Rhode Island is against reception marijuana.

Lucinda: It’s also against you. That doesn’t stop you from continuing to exist.

Gretchen: This is the second time today that this has been pointed out to me.

Lucinda: That’s because it’s a good point!

Mary: I agree with mom.

Lucinda: Thank you, Mary! That’s rare!

Mary: Don’t let the pollsters determine your policies. You’re the governor, do what you think is right.

Gretchen: Okay, I’ll take that into consideration.

Lucinda: Don’t you have something to tell Mary?

Gretchen: Pot legalization was the only thing on my mind.

Mary: So, the kids finished with school on Friday. They’re at a friends’ house now, it’s the first peace I’ve gotten all weekend.

Lucinda: Mary, I’m moving back in with Gretchen. She asked me. It was her idea.

Mary: Ohhhh noooooo.

Lucinda: It’s been great, I can’t wait to see you at dinner. I’m gonna get going now.

Mary: You’re leaving already?

Lucinda: I’m packed, I’m ready to go!

Mary: Okay… love ya, mom. I’ll talk to you then.

Gretchen: Am I being forced out?

Mary: You seem to be.

At Gretchen’s house…

Anthony: Gretchen! You’re so la-

Lucinda: Hello, everybody!

Anthony: Lucinda?

Lucinda: As I live and breathe!

Anthony: Does Gretchen know about this?

Gretchen: I drive her home, so, yeah.

Christina: Grandma! Are you here to make dinner?

Lucinda: I’m moving back in.

Toby: Thank goodness! Mom and Christina have been making dinner and it’s terrifying. Christina made spaghetti explode!

Christina: You little…

Lucinda: Home! This is home.

Anthony: Are you going to be nicer?

Gretchen: We talked about this already, it’s going to be better now!

Anthony: If you insist…

Christina: Hey, mom. Speaking of things being better… marijuana legalization. Get on it.

Gretchen: I will…

Lucinda: I’m glad I’m already old news again here. Just like it used to be!

The next day, at the office…

Susana: The lady of the hour is here! What’s the verdict?

Carol: I will support you no matter what you decide but I will judge you depending on your answer.

Gretchen: It’s time for legalization here in Rhode Island.

Susana: That’s great news! I’ll schedule a meeting with Hank and Jeanne.

Gretchen: How about a press conference? Can we get on that?

Susana: I’ll alert the press. I’ll schedule it for after your meeting.

Carol: I think we’re finally making some real change here in Rhode Island. It’s beautiful.

Gretchen: Slow down. I still have to talk to the two most annoying people in this state?

Carol: Samantha and your mother?

Gretchen: Not my mother! I love her again!

Carol: Oh, good! How’d it go?

Gretchen: She apologized and promised to be more respectful. I’m trusting her, so I let her move back in.

Carol: That’s great!

Susana: I didn’t see this coming.

Gretchen: Neither did I, but I was afraid Mary was going to kill her if I didn’t let her move back in so I kinda had to.

Carol: You’re joking, right?

Gretchen: Am I?

Two hours later, in Hank’s office…

Hank: Look, Jeanne. The governor is here! Fun’s over!

Gretchen: As if you two have any fun…

Jeanne: We do! We were talking about last night’s episode of To Tell the Truth.

Gretchen: As political leaders do.

Hank: What did you want to see us about? Your assistant didn’t tell us.

Jeanne: We’re assuming it’s something stupid, but maybe you'll surprise us.

Gretchen: The marijuana legalization bill in the legislature. I want to discuss it.

Hank: You’re a buzzkill so I’m assuming you want to kill it.

Gretchen: Uh -

Jeanne: It’s widely-supported in the legislature, it’s obviously something you don’t want to pass. You always give us headaches.

Hank: It’s passing whether you want it to or not, Gretchen. In fact, we can pass it tomorrow. You can deal with the public response. Good luck!

Gretchen: This was such a productive meeting. Thanks for sitting down with me.

Hank: Is that all you wanted to say?

Gretchen: Enough’s been said. See you guys some other time.

Hank: Or not. It wouldn’t break our hearts if we didn’t see you again.

Gretchen leaves and goes back to her office.

Susana: How’d it go?

Gretchen: We are saying nothing. Cancel the press conference. Hank and Jeanne are passing it out of pure spite. Let’s let them think they’re hurting me.

Susana: It’s an unorthodox plan, but as long as this ends in legalization, sure.

Carol: When are they voting on it?

Gretchen: Tomorrow. I sure do feel owned!

The next day, Gretchen has a press conference. 

Gretchen: Hello, Rhode Island. The state legislature has sent me a bill to officially decriminalize marijuana in the state of Rhode Island beginning immediately and open up dispensaries and begin the legal sale of marijuana in the state by the end of 2021. I am thrilled to sign this. It’s about time that we end the ridiculous process of criminalizing and outlawing marijuana here in Rhode Island. Our New England neighbors like Massachusetts and Maine have led the way in legalization, and things have gone very well there. This process will be done with the advice of experts and will be done safely. It should have been done many years ago, but I’m proud to be the governor who is finally changing things in this state. I know many of you have concerns, and I know some are vehemently opposed to this. I hear your concerns, and I need you to know that this will in no way impact your life. If you don’t want to smoke it, you don’t have to. This is simply ending the punishment for those who made the choice to use this harmless drug, and it will give those who want to use it the opportunity to do so. Thank you all, I will not be taking questions at this time.

Gretchen signs the bill and then departs the press conference.

Hank: Raymond…

Gretchen: God, why?

Hank: You seem quite excited for legalization.

Gretchen: Of course. I was coming to you yesterday to express my support for it.

Hank: You thought that would work?

Gretchen: No, but you managed to make it happen anyway so I did something right.

Hank: You tricked me.

Jeanne: She tricked us both.

Gretchen: You played yourselves. Sorry about it! One point for Gretchen!

Jeanne: Why are you dancing like that?

Hank: Give her a break, Jeanne. She’s so used to losing to us, getting a rare win is breaking her mind.

What did you think of this episode of Raymond Island? Let us know in the comments, vote in the poll below and make sure to read the new episode next week!

Who was your favorite character in Raymond Island Season 2 Episode 12 "Rhode Island High?"

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