EXT. AN ENCHANTED FOREST - DAY
The enchanted forest of Nerdland is quiet. Nothing but the chirping of birds. There is a flash of light and Joel and Bailey appear.
JOEL
Oh great, a forest.
BAILEY
Programmer.
THE PROGRAMMER
I’m here.
BAILEY
We’re at the location you gave us. Can you detect Tyler or Greg?
THE PROGRAMMER
I can’t find a specific location, but they are in this realm.
BAILEY
We’ll keep looking.
THE PROGRAMMER
Before you do, I have something that will be useful.
A chrome Gauntlet with a screen appears on each of their wrists.
JOEL
Okay, this is cool.
THE PROGRAMMER
This will allow you to harness your weapons and generate objects. It will also allow you to travel around the Refugium.
BAILEY
Thank you.
Bailey looks around and points in a random direction.
BAILEY
We’ll go that way.
The two-start walking.
JOEL
You know, we were in a sitcom.
BAILEY
Yes, I remember.
JOEL
Makes you wonder, what this place is.
The two reach a stone bridge.
BAILEY
Looks like I chose the right direction.
JOEL
Lucky guess.
They begin to cross the bridge. A man dressed in black medieval armor appears from behind a tree on the other side. He is wielding a chainsaw.
THE GUARDIAN
Halt.
Joel and Bailey stop.
JOEL
Who the hell is this guy?
The Guardian removes his helmet. It is Greg.
GREG
State your business.
JOEL
Greg, it’s us. Joel and Bailey. Is Tyler nearby?
GREG
You mean the Wizard.
JOEL
The what?
GREG
State your purpose!
BAILEY
He can’t remember.
Bailey begins approaching Greg. Joel grabs her by the shoulder.
JOEL
What are you doing?
BAILEY
I’m going to slap him just like I slapped you.
JOEL
I was the boyfriend character; HE has a chainsaw.
BAILEY
Point taken.
GREG
State your purpose.
JOEL
(To Bailey)
Let ME do the talking.
Joel takes a step forward.
JOEL
Oh, great warrior. The lady and I wish to see this… Wizard.
GREG
What is the reason for your visit to the Wizard?
JOEL
We’ve… heard about the Wizard’s grand acts of magic. We’ve journeyed long and far to see them.
BAILEY
My goodness, you’re so stupid.
JOEL
Hush. So, what do you say oh noble warrior? Can we cross the bridge?
GREG
Are you a Bot?
JOEL
A what?
GREG
Are you a Bot? Are you in league with the dark forces that threaten Nerdland?
JOEL
Okay, this is ridiculous. For fucks sake Greg snapped out of it.
Greg raises his chainsaw, and it whirs to life.
BAILEY
Nice.
JOEL
Oh, like you could do any better.
GREG
I’ve sworn an oath to protect this land and I will not break it.
Joel and Bailey look at each other and then at Greg. They open their hands and Joel’s Katana with a Glock as the handle and Bailey’s spear appear in their hands.
BAILEY
Remember, he doesn’t know what he’s doing so don’t kill him.
JOEL
I’ll try not to.
Greg runs towards the two and jumps. He raises his chainsaw above his head and releases a war cry. He lands on the ground and brings the chainsaw down on Bailey who deflects it with her spear. Joel swings his katana and hits Greg’s armor. Bailey kicks Greg back. Greg swings his chainsaw at Bailey’s head. She ducks and Greg knees her in the head.
Bailey falls to the ground. Her spear rolls away from her hand. Joel shoots his Glock. Greg raises his free arm and a shield materializes and deflects the bullets.
JOEL
Greg, stop it!
GREG
Die, you fiend!
Greg charges at Joel and rams him with his shield. Joel flies backward and lands on his back.
JOEL
Oh shit. That hurt. That hurt a lot.
Greg throws two pairs of handcuffs at Joel and Bailey.
GREG
Cuff thyself.
JOEL
You know, for a second there, I thought you were going to say groovy.
GREG
I would kill the both of you now, but I’ll let the Wizard decide your fate.
BAILEY
Wonderful.
INT. CASTLE - DAY
The giant oak doors of the castle swing open and Joel and Bailey enter followed by Greg. The citizens of the castle watch as the three walks towards a throne. Sitting on a throne is a cloaked man wearing a hood. In his hand, is a wooden staff.
GREG
Oh, great Wizard King of Nerdland, I found these two attempting to cross into our territory. They have not stated their purpose. I believe they are in league with the Bots.
The Wizard King stands up from his throne and removes his hood. It is Tyler.
JOEL
Oh, this just keeps getting better.
BAILEY
Tyler. Tyler it’s us. Joel and Bailey.
TYLER
You are not Bots.
BAILEY
We don’t even know what Bots are. Tyler please listen. Something happened when we reentered the simulation.
TYLER
Simulation. What is this tongue that you speak in?
JOEL
Oh, for fucks sake, enough.
Joel elbows Greg in the face knocking him to the ground. The other warriors nearby draw their weapons. Tyler raises his staff and slams it on the ground. The ground begins cracking and blue energy erupts from the crack wrapping itself around Joel and Bailey’s limbs.
TYLER
You dare attack a guardian of Nerdland! I don’t know who sent you, but you and your friend will pay dearly for this act.
Greg begins pixelating on the ground. He stops and gets up.
GREG
Joel? Bailey? What the hell is going on?
BAILEY
Something went wrong when we reentered the simulation, our memories were altered, and we were scattered.
GREG
Why am I wearing armor? I dig it, but why?
JOEL
It’s the latest fashion trend.
TYLER
Silence!
The blue energy ropes tighten around Joel.
GREG
Tyler?
BAILEY
Greg, you’ve got to snap Tyler out of it.
Greg nods and revs up his chainsaw.
TYLER
Traitor!
Tyler levitates off the ground and soars towards Greg. He points his staff and blue energy shoots from it. Greg raises his arm and his shield materializes and deflects the magic. He swings his chainsaw and Tyler blocks it with his staff. The blue energy around Joel and Bailey disintegrates.
GREG
I could use some help!
Joel and Bailey generate their respective weapons and prepare to strike. Tyler pushes Greg back. He holds his staff up and Another Tyler materializes next to him.
JOEL
My goodness, the only thing worse than one Tyler. Two Tylers!
The Other Tyler turns to face Joel and Bailey. He charges at the two and the three clash. Greg and the real Tyler continue fighting. Bailey impales one of the Tyler with her spear and Joel decapitates him.
Greg brings his chainsaw down on Tyler’s staff and cuts through it. There is a small blue explosion. Tyler is thrown back against the stone wall and falls to the ground. He begins pixelating and then stabilizes.
TYLER
Ow. Ow ow ow.
Tyler stands up.
TYLER
Greg? Joel? Bailey? What- What’s going on?
JOEL
Shit happened that’s what.
BAILEY
The simulation glitched. Our memories were altered, and we were scattered.
TYLER
Woah.
GREG
What happened to you two?
JOEL
We were stuck in some sitcom. Oh, speaking of that…
Joel pulls out the wine glass.
GREG
What are we drinking?
BAILEY
It’s a piece of the antivirus.
TYLER
You already found a piece?
Bailey nods.
JOEL
Wasn’t easy though. Claire showed up.
TYLER
She’s STILL alive?
JOEL
Oh yeah, turns out we’re not the only one looking for the antivirus.
GREG
Wait, where’s Dan?
BAILEY
We don’t know. The Programmer is trying to locate him. He located you two though so it should only be a matter of time before he finds Dan.
TYLER
So, what do we do? Stay here?
BAILEY
I was thinking, why were you two sent here?
JOEL
Because they’re both nerds and to them this is paradise.
TYLER
Where’s my staff?
BAILEY
Guys, Joel and I found a piece of the antivirus where we were. What if a piece is here?
GREG
It’s possible. Of course, what would it be?
TYLER
Well, it could be the Crystal Ball of Sight.
JOEL
I’m sorry, but did anyone else understand what he said?
GREG
Isn’t that how you see whether enemies are nearby?
Tyler nods. He reaches into his cloak and pulls out a grapefruit-sized crystal ball. Like the wine glass, it has numbers, letters, and symbols slightly glowing all over it. He hands it to Bailey who examines it.
BAILEY
This is it.
GREG
That’s great. Now we just have to find Dan and then we can-
The crystal ball begins glowing.
JOEL
What exactly does the crystal ball do again?
TYLER
It’s supposed to warn me when enemies have entered the land.
JOEL
And when it warns you, does it glow?
TYLER
Yeah.
JOEL
Wonderful.
Tyler grabs the crystal bag and peers into it.
BAILEY
What is it?
TYLER
An army. A big one. Really big.
GREG
How long do we have?
TYLER
They're already here.
The four exit the grand hall.
EXT. CASTLE - DAY
The four climb the stairs to the top of the kingdom wall. In front of the kingdom gates, is a gigantic army of grey faceless humanoids.
JOEL
This just keeps getting better and better.
A black-grey faceless humanoid stands forwards.
BOT LEADER
We are the Bot army of the Luddites... We have come for the pieces of the antivirus that you possess. Surrender them and you will be spared.
BAILEY
Go fuck yourself!
Joel, Tyler, and Greg look at her with surprise.
BAILEY
I am sick and tired of all this ridiculous shit that we are seeing.
BOT LEADER
We have the entire castle surrounded. Any attempts to teleport out of this realm will be prohibited.
JOEL
Well, there goes our escape plan.
GREG
Now what?
TYLER
We fight.
JOEL
Serious suggestions only Tyler.
TYLER
I am being serious. The only way we get out of here is if we defeat those… things.
BAILEY
He’s right. Programmer!
THE PROGRAMMER
Talk to me.
BAILEY
We found Greg and Tyler along with a second piece of the antivirus.
THE PROGRAMMER
Dobson will be happy with your progress.
BAILEY
I’m sure he will, but right now we’ve hit a snag. Adrian has programmed some kind of digital army to stop us from leaving this realm. We’re gonna fight them but Greg and Tyler are gonna need those upgrades.
THE PROGRAMMER
Ask and you shall receive.
Chrome gauntlets appear on Greg and Tyler's wrists.
TYLER
What-
BAILEY
It allows you to travel through the simulation. Also, ...
Bailey extends her arm, and her spear materializes in her hand.
Tyler and Greg look at each other and do the same. A wizard staff materializes in Tyler’s hand and a chainsaw materializes in Greg’s.
GREG
Groovy.
TYLER
(To Greg)
Gather your knights.
The Bots begin moving forward towards the castle entrance. The group and other knights of the kingdom move towards the castle gates.
TYLER
Open the gates!
Joel’s Katana Glock materializes in his hand.
The gates open and the army of Bots charges towards the group and the knights.
TYLER
Guardians of Nerdland, attack!
The group and the knight’s charge at the Bots and the two armies clash. Every time a Bot is hit, they vaporize as do the knights. The four manage to stand their ground, each slaying Bots with their signature weapons.
The Bots begin overwhelming them. Tyler raises his staff in the air. The sky turns blue and blue lighting strikes the staff imbuing it with blue energy.
TYLER
(In Japanese)
I summon the power of all Nerds! From books to comics to manga, from television to movies to anime, I summon the power of all that is holy to my people!
The staff glows a blinding blue. Tyler brings the staff down and a wave of blue light emits from the staff. The lightwave vaporizes all the Bots except for the Bot leader. The light dies down.
The Bot leader turns to run away but blue energy emerges from the ground and binds him. Bailey walks up to him.
BAILEY
You take a message to Adrian.
Bailey leans in.
BAILEY
He messed with the wrong people.
The blue energy dissipates, and the Bot Leader disappears in a flash of light.
THE PROGRAMMER
Bailey… Bailey, are you guys alright?
BAILEY
We’re fine. What about the people in this realm?
THE PROGRAMMER
They’re alright. Ever since Battle Island, I installed a backup program to protect consciousness. Think of it as a cyber cryo sleep.
GREG
Okay, we’ve got two pieces of the antivirus. What now?
BAILEY
We need to find Daniel. Programmer, do you know where he is?
THE PROGRAMMER
I have a potential location. Sending the location to your gauntlets.
The four tap their gauntlets.
JOEL
Quick question, when did you learn how to speak Japanese?
TYLER
I’m Asian dude.
JOEL
Oh shit, that’s right.
END.