College Season 2 Episode 13: V is for Valentine



NUMB HUMOR STUDIOS PRESENTS:
COLLEGE
Season 2 Episode 13
"V is for Valentine"
Written by
William Fry & Michael Ledesma






















2.
EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - DAY
Andrew, Edison, and Megan walk up the stairs to their apartment unit.
EDISON
Look, all I’m saying is that if we fine tune the pitch and find some money for a prototype, the machine washable condom will become a hot seller.
The trio reach their door. Paige is walking down the hall.
PAIGE
Hey you.
EDISON
Hey.
PAIGE
Are these your roommates?
EDISON
Sadly yes.
PAIGE
I’m Paige.
ANDREW
Nice to meet you, I'm Andrew and this is Megan.
MEGAN
Hey.
PAIGE
Hey. Well, I guess I’ll see you around.
Paige leaves.
The trio enter their apartment.
ANDREW
So that’s Paige eh?
EDISON
Yes.
ANDREW
So when are you gonna ask her out?

3.
EDISON
I’m working on it.
MEGAN
What do you have? How are you gonna ask her?
EDISON
I was thinking of spelling out “will you go out with me?” in gasoline and setting it on fire.
ANDREW
It’s a miracle you got into college.
MEGAN
I’ll help you figure out a safer way to ask her out.
Sarah enters the apartment.
MEGAN
Huh, so we’re already in the “walking in the apartment without knocking” phase.
SARAH
Sorry, I forgot.
ANDREW
Don’t worry it’s fine. How was class?
SARAH
Great. Except for the fact that I’m pretty sure my professor is drunk during his lectures.
ANDREW
That doesn't sound good.
SARAH
Yeah well at least today will be fun.
ANDREW
Um yeah.
SARAH
So, what are we doing tonight?

4.
ANDREW
Well, I was thinking about seeing what’s new on Netflix. That or get a head start on homework.
SARAH
So we’re not doing anything together tonight?
ANDREW
We can go to The College Club if you want?
SARAH
I was thinking maybe we could go to a nice restaurant?
ANDREW
Why?
PAUSE
SARAH
You know what, enjoy your Netflix and homework.
Sarah leaves.
EDISON
How the hell did YOU get a girlfriend?
ANDREW
Excuse me?
MEGAN
You men are so stupid.
ANDREW
What are you talking about?
EDISON
Andrew, do you know what today is?
ANDREW
Friday.
EDISON
I mean the date.
ANDREW
February 14th.

5.
MEGAN
What happens on February 14th every year?
Andrew thinks. He comes to the realization that today is Valentine’s Day.
ANDREW
Ohhhhhhhh man. I’m an idiot.
MEGAN
Yeah you are.
ANDREW
I gotta go fix this.
Andrew rushes out of the apartment.
EDISON
So while he’s salvaging his relationship, what’s your idea for helping me ask Paige out?
MEGAN
It’s easy. Ready?
Edison nods yes.
MEGAN
You just ask her out. It’s that simple.
EDISON
Really?
MEGAN
Yep.
EDISON
Ok. Ok yeah. I can do that. How do I do that?
MEGAN
You just do it.
EDISON
Yeah, that’s too hard.
MEGAN
Ok fine. How did you ask Brittaney out?

6.
EDISON
Well, I was comforting her after she broke up with her cheating asshole boyfriend and then... it just happened. I told her I was a good guy.
MEGAN
I don’t think that’s going to work with Paige.
EDISON
Here’s an idea, what if I jumped out of a helicopter in a tux and landed in front of her and say “I have the license to thrill”?
MEGAN
I take it back, men aren’t stupid.  You boys are.
EDISON
Oh yeah? Well all girls are-
MEGAN
What?
EDISON
Smart, powerful, and capable of doing anything.
MEGAN
Uh huh.
INT. COLLEGE DORM HALLWAY - DAY
Andrew fast walks down the dorm hallway carrying a big bouquet of roses and a heart shaped box of chocolate. He knocks on Sarah’s door. Sarah answers.
ANDREW
I’m an idiot. I should’ve known it was Valentine’s day. Especially since it’s our first one as a couple and for that, I’m sorry. To make it up to you, I bought you flowers and chocolate both of which have set me back financially but you're worth it. Also, I made a reservation at a fancy restaurant.
Of course the restaurant was actually full but I bribed a hostess to get us in which has also severely set me back financially. But again, you’re worth it.

7.
Sarah smiles and kisses Andrew.
ANDREW
I assume that means you forgive me?
SARAH
I can’t stay mad at you.
EXT. APARTMENT MAILBOX - DAY
Edison is checking the mail. Paige appears and checks her mail.
PAIGE
Hey.
EDISON
Hey.
Paige turns to leave.
EDISON
Paige.
PAIGE
Yeah?
EDISON
You wanna get dinner tonight?
Paige smiles.
PAIGE
Pick me up at 7?
EDISON
Yeah.
PAIGE
Then it’s a date.
Paige leaves.
EDISON
(To himself)
Simple. Magical lesbian wisdom wins again.

8.
END.

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