Marietta Season 2 Episode 10 - Adventures In Tammysitting

 Marietta Season 2, Episode 10
Adventures In Tammysitting

Marietta is on the phone with Tammy.
Marietta: Hey Tammy, could you watch Katharine this weekend? Kyle and Maria are going out of town with me and I don’t really want to ask my parents because I really don’t know if my mother is sane enough for that and Milton only has the weekends to be back in town and I’d like him to be able to relax.
Tammy: Of course I’ll do it! I miss having little babies to look after. It’s been a long time since my kids ever blessed me with my grandchildren. Kim and Johnny are older and Yvonne is “self-partnered” so it’s been a while. Where are you going this weekend?
Marietta: Certainly not to the Super Bowl to see the Saints play considering they just can never get there. We’re going to a concert in Atlanta and were going to visit the sites there. I figure it’ll be nice for them to get a little break for two days.
Tammy: Atlanta! What’s there? Are you going to see that scary green-haired child that just won all those Grammys? The kids love her!
Marietta: What? No.
Tammy: The little girl with the ponytail?
Marietta: You don’t know the names of any of these people but you know what their hair looks like. Strange.
Tammy: I saw them perform on the Grammys. I don’t know the music of today’s kids.
Marietta: Luckily for you, you don’t need to. We’re going to see the Eagles. Again, not the football team because they didn’t make the Super Bowl either.
Tammy: Oh that’s great. They’re so old that I didn’t even realize they were still touring.
Marietta: They’re younger than you are.
Tammy: What?
Three days later…
Tammy: Does it feel weird to you that you’re dropping off your child with me at the same place you grew up and where your mom has lived for your entire life?
Kyle: It’s not not weird.
Tammy: Yeah, I figured. It’s also weird for me. I’m used to cold New York winters and tons of snow on the ground and now I wake up in the middle of the night and I have to turn the fan on in mid-winter. We’re all going through quite a transition period right now.
Kyle: Haven’t you been down here for over a year?
Tammy: Some of us have long transition periods.
Maria: Tammy, thank you so much for watching Katharine for us. Here’s the bag with all of her things in it. Feed her whenever she starts making a commotion, usually that’s after about three hours. She’s not going to let you have a good night’s sleep so I apologize in advance for that.
Tammy: Don’t worry, I’m old. I wake up about six times a night anyway. If you think about it, old people are far more equipped to take care of kids in the middle of the night than you young people are. None of us get any sleep whether there’s a kid waking us up or not, so it doesn’t bother us as much. You guys usually could have a normal night’s sleep without a kid crying to wake you up.
Marietta: That was very philosophical, Tammy. Now let’s get outta here kids! The flight leaves at 9 and it’s almost seven!
Tammy: I still can’t believe you’re going to Atlanta for just the weekend. The last time I went on vacation I stayed for three weeks because I lack self-control and there’s so much to see to just be there a week.
Marietta: I would’ve stayed a full week but Kyle and Maria did just have a child so it was hard enough to try and convince them to leave for a weekend.
Tammy: Well, have fun, you guys. Here’s a hundred buck, buy yourself something and also get me a shirt or something at the concert.
Marietta: No! Keep your money. I’ll get you a shirt but you don’t need to pay for it. Watching my granddaughter is enough.
Tammy: Thank you. That’s very kind. Now, you guys better get off to the airport, me and Katharine are going to be fine here together. Safe travels everyone!
Marietta: Bye Tammy. I’ll call you as soon as our flight lands. And bye Katharine, I’ll miss you.
Tammy: I’ll be waiting patiently!
Maria: Bye Tammy, bye Katharine! Mommy’s going to miss you so much.
Kyle: See you later, Katharine. Aunt Tammy’s going to take good care of you.
Tammy: Aww, I’m an aunt? I feel so special.
Two hours later…
Tammy: Alright Katie, I’m done with my nap and you seem pretty hungry so I’m gonna feel you and then we are going to finally binge-watch Scandal. It’s been a year and a half since I wanted to start but it’s never too late. Oh and I should also call up Milton because I’ve got the time and I should see how he’s settling in as a senator. My god, I’m talking to a baby. You can’t understand a single thing I’m saying. I need help.
Fifteen minutes later, after feeding Katharine, Tammy calls Milton.
Milton: Tammy! I’m surprised you’re calling me. What’s up?
Tammy: I’m just watching Katharine today while Marietta’s out of town with Kyle and Maria.
Milton: Marietta’s out of town?
Tammy: She didn’t tell you?
Milton: She hasn’t told me much lately. Heck, I found out that she was suffering from anxiety disorder when Senator Burgess bumped into me on my way to a committee meeting.
Tammy: She did mean to call you first, she’s just
Milton: She’s Marietta. I know. She’s always been a scatterbrain.
Tammy: So how are you doing? How’s life in the Senate?
Milton: Things are going well. I got lost a few times but the other senators helped me out. It’s a little annoying for all of us that Vice President Rosenbaum has to cast the tiebreaker vote in like every vote, but we make the most of the time it takes for him to get to the Senate every day. I’ve read like three books in the past few weeks!
Tammy: Things are that divisive now? Every vote is a tie?
Milton: Oh, yes. Every vote is 50/50. We’re all friends with each other but also deep down we hate that the other side is there. Or at least that there’s not one less of them so there’s not a tied vote every week.
Tammy: I never had to worry about that. The Democrats had the majority for fourteen years while I was majority leader and we had a supermajority for six years of that. Then the last election happened. We got along better with the Republicans when their votes didn’t really matter.
Milton: Other than the divisiveness though, everything’s going well.
Tammy: Aren’t they supposed to be impeaching the president sometime soon?
Milton: Yeah. Sheryl’s going through a rough time right now.
Tammy: Impeachment does typically bring the two sides together.
Milton: You went through an impeachment, right?
Tammy: You could say that.
Milton: Oh, that’s right.
Tammy: I’m assuming you just realized that my husband was the one that was impeached.
Milton: Yep.
Tammy: It’s fine. It bonded us and now everyone in America loves him. I don’t think Sheryl can say the same thing, so good luck.
Milton: She’s the first president since LBJ to not run for re-election, isn’t she?
Tammy: Yeah. She is not loved.
Milton: Still, everyone is pretty friendly right now. Senator Morley from Kansas and I have been feuding thanks to his Chiefs winning the Super Bowl, but still, it’s all in good fun.
Tammy: Senator Morley’s from Missouri, you dork.
Milton: I just assumed he was from Kansas since he said he was from Kansas City. I don’t think sometimes. 
Just then, there’s a knock at the door.
Tammy: Let me get that, I’ll be right back.
Tammy runs to the door to see Patty Lynn, Martin and Kathleen standing there.
Tammy: My goodness, what are you guys doing here? It’s so early. I’m usually at the café at this time. How’d you know I’d be here?
Patty Lynn: We know all.
Tammy: That was very frightening.
Patty Lynn: I’m just kidding! No, Maria texted me and told me you were watching Katharine.
Tammy: She did?
Patty Lynn: I may have initiated the conversation.
Tammy: That sounds about right. So, what are you guys doing here? And why do you have suitcases?
Patty Lynn: We’re here to help you for the weekend!
Tammy: You are?
Martin: Let it be known that I had nothing to do with any of this. They just didn’t feel like driving.
Patty Lynn: You know how I am without my coffee.
Kathleen: And you know how I am without my driver’s license.
Martin: You still don’t have a driver’s license?
Kathleen: I didn’t want to apply for one since I’ve been living with you guys and didn’t want to have to update my information again. Now that we’ve decided I’ll be staying long-term, I should apply for one.
Tammy: You know, I’m in the middle of a phone call. I just put some coffee on and you guys can come in while I go finish up my conversation.
Martin: I’m not going to stick around so I’m going to go grab the rest of the stuff and I’ll get going. You two go ahead, though.
Patty Lynn: Bye Martin. I’ll talk to you every morning and every night.
Martin: I know you will. Love you.
Patty Lynn: Love you, too.
Tammy: Hold up. I can’t get by the fact that you guys have more than two suitcases full of things that you need to stay here for one weekend.
Kathleen: It’s not me.
Tammy: I know it’s not. We flew to DC together. I know who has a problem with packing everything except the kitchen sink.
Kathleen: She’d pack that too if she had the strength to remove it from the wall.
Tammy walks back into the house and picks up the phone.
Milton: What’s going on? You were gone for quite a while.
Tammy: Your mother and aunt are here to help me with Katharine. Isn’t that sweet?
Milton: I am so sorry.
Tammy: I should get going. Your mom might accidentally burn down Marietta’s house if left unattended.
Milton:. Call me if you need to talk. I’m assuming I’ll hear from you again at about 6:30.
Tammy: Yeah, that seems about right.
Three hours later…
Patty Lynn: Hey Tammy, do you want to go get some lunch?
Tammy: I think we should probably stay here and watch Katharine. Maybe we could even watch some Scandal while we’re here and have nowhere else to be.
Patty Lynn: I’ve already seen it. Really had a drop in quality at the end but Martin still liked it.
Tammy: Alright. Maybe we can play a game or something for a while.
Patty Lynn: That would be great!
Tammy: I don’t have too many here. Yahtzee, Clue, Scrabble. That’s it. Marietta took the rest of them with her when she moved out.
Patty Lynn: I don’t feel like playing anything where I have to think too hard.
Tammy: You need to think hard to play Yahtzee?
Patty Lynn: Harder than I’d like to. Let’s just watch TV. What do you have on the DVR?
Tammy: Those Chicago shows and The Masked Singer and Will & Grace.
Patty Lynn: I’ve seen them all already.
Tammy: Of course you have. So what else do you want to do?
Patty Lynn: Maybe we can play with Katharine!
Tammy: She’s sleeping.
Patty Lynn: Let’s just wake her up. She’s probably a light sleeper.
Tammy: Okay, it’s been a while since I had a baby, but I don’t think it’s a great idea to wake a baby when they’re sleeping. How about we just find something to watch on Netflix?
Patty Lynn: That’s fine by me.
Kathleen: Can we watch Grace and Frankie? I always wanted to see that but I never got a Netflix account.
Patty Lynn: I -
Kathleen: Don’t you dare say it.
Patty Lynn: I haven’t seen that yet.
Tammy: Neither have I. Let’s just watch it.
The next day, Tammy wakes up before Patty Lynn and Kathleen and calls Milton.
Milton: It’s only 7 o’clock! How is my mom already driving you crazy?
Tammy: She’s not. At least, not anymore. Yesterday she was driving me nuts but now we started watching Grace and Frankie and things are going well.
Milton: How’s Katharine?
Tammy: A typical baby. Everything’s fine with her so far. She woke me up once in the middle of the night but that was the only problem so far. We’re taking her down to Jackson Square today.
Milton: Oh, really? That’s great! It’s supposed a nice day. A little cool but still nice.
Tammy: I can’t believe you guys think 65 is cool.
Milton: I think it’s less cool than I used to before I started working in DC.
Tammy: Yeah, DC taught Marietta to appreciate the sixty degree winters as well.
Milton: I hope you guys have a nice day today. I’m just going to relax since I have to fly back to DC tomorrow night and it’s going to be a big week.
Tammy: Are you sure you don’t want to come hang out with us?
Milton: It’s a nice offer, but I’m going to pass. Call me if you need anything though.
Tammy: Alright, see ya. I better go put some coffee on and make some breakfast so I can hop in the shower and we can get out of here.
Four hours later…
Tammy: I didn’t expect this to take so long, but at least we got out.
Kathleen: Maybe if Patty Lynn didn’t need to watch Cuppa Joe before she got in the shower, we’d have been out earlier.
Tammy: It’s fine, it’s still early enough. We’re not missing anything. Plenty of day left.
Patty Lynn: See! I didn’t ruin anything.
Tammy: We probably look weird sitting in Jackson Square together with a baby.
Kathleen: Three old ladies watching after a baby together sounds like the plot of a movie. They can call it “Three Grandmas and a Baby.”
Tammy: Do you guys want a hot dog? There’s a guy over there selling some.
Kathleen: It’s not even noon yet.
Tammy: Fine, we can wait.
Patty Lynn: Do you guys smell something?
Tammy: Yes. It smells terrible.
Patty Lynn: I think…
Tammy: Yeah, I think the same thing. Let’s go home.
Kathleen: What do you think? Do you guys have some way to communicate with your minds or something?
Tammy: No. We just both know what it smells like when a baby goes to the bathroom in her diaper.
Kathleen: Oh, ew! That’s gross! But we really have to go home for that?
Tammy: We aren’t going to just change her here in the middle of Jackson Square? There’s a church right in front of us!
Kathleen: Jesus wouldn’t mind. It’s natural, we’re all god’s children. 
Tammy: We’re going home.
Thirty minutes later…
Kathleen: Katharine’s all cleaned up now. Are we going back to Jackson Square?
Tammy: I’m feeling pretty tired. I think we should just stay home and watch some TV. Maybe that new One Day At a Time?
Kathleen: Oh, I remember watching that show back when it was on the first time. I guess we can watch the new one, I’m pretty tired too.
Tammy: Our Three Grandmas and a Baby movie just keep sounding more and more interesting. A second straight day of binge-watching.
Patty Lynn: Hey, nobody asked what I wanted to do!
Tammy: Well, do you want to take Katharine out on your own?
Patty Lynn: No, let’s watch TV.
Later that night…
Tammy: Hey, girls.
Kathleen: Pause the TV if you want to talk. That Rita Moreno is hilarious, I don’t want to miss anything she says.
Tammy: Okay. How do I pause on this Roku thing?
Patty Lynn: Hit the button with the two lines. Like any remote.
Tammy: The button has a play sign and a pause sign.
Patty Lynn: Hit that. It probably does it both.
Tammy: It worked! Anyway girls, I just wanted to say how thankful I am to be hanging out with you both. We might just be watching TV but it's nice to have some friends my own age to hang out with. I’m almost sad we only have one more day left.
Kathleen: I thought I was going to be miserable when Patty Lynn suggested we come over, I have to be honest. It hasn’t been.
Tammy: That’s so sweet.
Patty Lynn: We’re like the new Golden Girls! We should have some cheesecake! I make my own, I can make one tomorrow and we can all have it.
Tammy: I’m from New York, I obviously have my own recipe as well.
Kathleen: We should have a cheesecake-off!
Patty Lynn: We should probably focus on watching Katharine, don’t you think?
Kathleen: I’ll watch her while you guys bake!
Tammy: Alright, tomorrow we can do it.
Kathleen: Yay! Now the fun is really getting started!
The next night…
Kathleen: I just want to say that these are both great cheesecakes. This creole cheesecake is so good and works very well, Patty Lynn. But…
Patty Lynn: Oh no.
Kathleen: My goodness, don’t get so upset. There’s nothing riding on this. No money to be won. It’s not Bake Your Heart Out.
Patty Lynn: I love that show.
Tammy: We should’ve watched that.
Kathleen: Anyway, Tammy’s classic New York cheesecake takes it!
Tammy: I’d like to thank the Academy for this prestigious honor. I never could’ve done it without my family, my friends, or Betty White. Thank you and good night!
Patty Lynn: That was so overdramatic.
Tammy: I know. That’s what makes it fun.
The next day…
Marietta: Tammy! We’re home!
Patty Lynn: Marietta!
Marietta: Mom, what are you doing here?
Patty Lynn: Tammy didn’t tell you we were here?
Marietta: We? Is dad here, too?
Patty Lynn: No, your aunt is!
Kathleen: Welcome home everyone!
Tammy: How was the concert?
Marietta: Incredible! Don Henley sounds so good for 90!
Tammy: He’s younger than me! I sound as good as I ever have!
Marietta: Tammy you’re a terrible singer.
Tammy: I know, but I such just as much now as I always have. It’s incredible!

What did you think of the episode? Comment your thoughts, listen to the official season two playlist below and make sure to read the new episode next week!

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