Marietta Season 2 Episode 11 - Uncle Marvin

Marietta Season 2, Episode 11
Uncle Marvin

Marietta is on the phone with Patty Lynn.
Patty Lynn: Did your aunt tell you the big news?
Marietta: What news? Is Eileen finally dropping out of the presidential race?
Patty Lynn: Of course not! She came in fifth in Iowa and she has momentum. She isn’t going anywhere!
Marietta: Sure.
Patty Lynn: Don’t you want to have a president from Louisiana?
Marietta: Of course I do. It’s just not Eileen’s year. She’s polling at like 6% nationally.
Patty Lynn: I still believe in her.
Marietta: Anyway, what’s the big news that you wanted to know if Aunt Kathleen told me?
Patty Lynn: Your Uncle Marvin is coming to town!
Marietta: What? There isn’t a funeral planned.
Patty Lynn: I know, it’s very surprising. When was the last time he came home?
Marietta: 2012?
Patty Lynn: That sound about right. I wonder why he’s coming home now all of the sudden.
Marietta: He didn’t say?
Patty Lynn: Your father just told me he was coming home to visit. He didn’t give any reason.
Marietta: Oh my god.
Patty Lynn: What is it?
Marietta: Uncle Marvin is clearly dying and he’s coming to see us one last time. I can’t believe it. I should’ve gone to see him more often.
Patty Lynn: Don’t be silly. He’s probably just coming home because he misses us. People do go on vacation sometimes.
Marietta: I know. I’ve been on a plane more times in the past month than I’d care to admit.
Patty Lynn: Anyway, he’ll be here on Friday so clear your calendar for that weekend.
Marietta: He’s only staying the weekend? Probably because he has to get back home to Massachusetts to get treated at the hospital.
Patty Lynn: You uncle isn’t dying!
Marietta: He’s eighty. You never know.
Patty Lynn: Good lord. Your father is almost eighty-one!
Marietta: Well…
Patty Lynn: I’m seventy-seven!
Marietta: Stop.
Three days later…
Tammy: Where are you off to in such a hurry?
Marietta: I have to go see my uncle. I haven’t seen him in ages!
Tammy: Now which uncle is this? Eliza’s dad?
Marietta: No, not Uncle Elroy. He’s still up in Kentucky with Aunt Susan. Their candle shop is going very strong, no time to fly down.
Tammy: Your family is very strange.
Marietta: Thank you.
Tammy: So this is Martin’s brother.
Marietta: Yes, it’s Uncle Marvin. He was mayor after my dad.
Tammy: So where has he been?
Marietta: He moved up to Massachusetts twenty years ago when my cousin Geraldine’s husband died while serving in the Air Force.
Tammy: Why did he move then?
Marietta: She needed help with they kids. It was a lot to be the mother of two young kids and a widow at 26.
Tammy: And why didn’t he move back?
Marietta: She still needed help with the kids.
Tammy: Still? Twenty years later?
Marietta: She has thirteen kids.
Tammy: What?
Marietta: I never told you this?
Tammy: I think I’d remember this.
Marietta: Okay it gets crazier.
Tammy: How?
Marietta: Gerry married her husband’s brother, Xavier. So her first two kids have Xavier as both an uncle and a stepfather.
Tammy: Why don’t they have a Lifetime show?
Marietta: I know, it would be a big hit. Anyway, they all live on Martha’s Vineyard and the family makes up about half of the population of the island. They’re solely responsible for Massachusetts still having nine members of Congress.
Tammy: That is a lot of information to take in.
Marietta: Sure is. It’s a strange story, but lovelier people you can not meet. Too bad that airfare for all of them would cost as much as it would to buy a house, so I never get to see them. At least Marvin is coming down.
Tammy: Are you on the way to see him now?
Marietta: Now that I’m done explaining my family tree to you, yes. That is the plan.
Tammy: Shouldn’t you finish looking over these proposals that the city council sent you?
Marietta: I’ll look over them on Monday. It’s almost four o’clock anyway, I’d be out of here then.
Tammy: “Almost four o’clock” is a weird way to say 1:30, but it’s fine. You go see your uncle. Just make sure to look over those proposals on Monday, you were supposed to do it yesterday and the council has been jumping down by throat ever since. I swear, that Pat O’Sullivan exists solely to drive people insane. He’s sent me like twenty emails about it.
Marietta: I’ll look over everything on Monday. Now bye Tammy, have a good weekend. I’ll probably call you tomorrow.
Tammy: Have fun! Give your family my regards!
Marietta (walking out the door): Will do! See ya!
Marietta arrives at Martin and Patty Lynn’s and rushes in the door…
Marietta: Is Uncle Marvin here yet? Did I miss him?
Milton: No. Mom and dad aren’t even here, didn’t you notice that there car was missing?
Marietta: Nope. Side note: I think I might have parked in their spot.
Milton: They went to pick Marvin up, not that you asked or anything.
Marietta: Isn’t Marvin renting a car? Why do they have to pick him up?
Milton: He’s staying here, he can just use their car.
Marietta: He’s staying here? Five people under one roof? That’s going to work well.
Milton: Five?
Marietta: Mom, dad, Kathleen, Marvin and Alicia.
Milton: Oh, Aunt Alicia. I didn’t even realize she was coming.
Marietta: Mom never mentioned it, I just found out from dad last night.
Milton: Forgetting an entire person is very on-brand for mom.
Marietta: Where’s Aunt Kathleen?
Milton: I don’t know. I haven’t seen her.
Marietta: She didn’t go with mom and dad to pick up Uncle Marvin?
Milton: Not that I saw.
Kathleen: I’m right here, you two!
Marietta: Oh, my god! Where did you come from?
Kathleen: I was upstairs. Didn’t you hear the water while I was in the shower?
Milton: Can’t say that I did.
Marietta: Milton, do you need your hearing checked? Maybe you can ask mom the name of her hearing doctor.
Milton: Very funny.
Meanwhile, at the airport…
Marvin: I’m back!
Martin: Marvin! It’s been too long!
Marvin: Martin! What’s in been? Three years?
Martin: Me and Patty Lynn took that trip to Massachusetts with Marietta in 2017. So yes, three years.
Marvin: It’s so nice to see you two again. I’ve missed you so much. I was so busy with Gerry and the kids and then Alicia and I have spent the last few years catching up on vacationing, trying to see the whole world around us before our time’s up.
Martin: It’s fine, we’ve been busy too. The important thing is that we’re together now.
Patty Lynn: What are you wearing?
Marvin: What do you mean?
Patty Lynn: Your socks. What are they?
Marvin: Oh, my Tammy for America socks! Aren’t they neat?
Patty Lynn: Neat? No. Traitorous? Absolutely.
Marvin: You don’t like Tammy?
Patty Lynn: This is an Eileen Birkman family.
Marvin: I do like that she appointed Milton to the Senate. I watched his swearing in. I like Eileen. I just prefer Tammy.
Patty Lynn: What happened to you, man?
Marvin: We can support different people in the primary, it’s all good.
Patty Lynn: We can. Seriously though, you actually want someone from Minnesota to be our nominee? Because candidates from there are always super successful.
Marvin: I don’t care what state someone’s from, as long as I like them personally. Tammy has what it takes to win.
Patty Lynn: I literally can not even believe what I’m listening to right now.
Marvin: Just some respectful disagreements.
Patty Lynn: Anyway, welcome home!
Marvin: I‘ve always enjoyed our playful banter.
Patty Lynn: Oh, hi Alicia! I didn’t see you there.
Alicia: I went to get a pretzel.
Martin: You sound like Kathleen. That’s exactly what she does at the airport.
Alicia: Who doesn’t love a good pretzel?
Martin: Okay everyone, we have three very excited people back at the house anxiously awaiting your arrivals. I say we shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer. Let’s grab your bags and get out of here!
A half hour later, they arrive home.
Marietta: Finally! The royal family has arrived!
Marvin: Marietta! Milton! You both look so good. Congratulations on your new jobs! I’ms orly I couldn’t be there to see either of you sworn in, but I trust you got my cards?
Kathleen: Marvin Landfield, do my eyes deceive me?
Marvin’s eyes begin to well with tears as he runs over to Kathleen.
Marvin: How are you? You’ve been through so much since I saw you last.
Kathleen: I’m taking it one day at a time. These guys have all helped me out so much these past few months. I’ve found a new purpose since I’ve rediscovered my family. And now, you’re here and it’s just wonderful. I’m overcome with joy.
Marietta: Hey, Milton.
Milton: Yeah?
Marietta: You also feel like chopped liver?
Milton: It’s like you’re reading my mind.
Marvin: Bring it in, you two. I’ve missed you guys, too.
Marietta: Why are you here, though?
Marvin: What?
Marietta: Everything okay with you?
Marvin: Yes, everything is fine.
Marietta: No cancer? Not planning on checking out of this earth anytime soon?
Marvin: Of course not.
Marietta: You worried me. I thought it would take a terrible tragedy to get you back down here.
Marvin: Nope. Just some frequent flyer miles.
Marietta: I’m so glad you’re here.
Marvin: I’m glad to be here! A little tired after that awful flight, but glad.
Martin: It’s almost 3 o’clock already. Do you want me to show you guys to your room so you can get settled in by dinner?
Marvin: That would be nice. I think it’s gonna be an early night tonight so I’ll get unpacked and we’ll see how much longer I last after dinner. Maybe tomorrow we can go do something if nobody’s busy. I always wanted to go to that aquarium downtown. I never got to see it while I lived here and I read about it in a magazine and it sounds wonderful. Maybe we could even take a cruise down the Mississippi afterwards.
Marietta: That sounds wonderful, Uncle Marvin. I’m down for it.
Martin: I think it sounds fun. A family trip to the aquarium, what can beat it?
Alicia: Marvin, you know how scared I am of boats.
Marvin: Even in a river?
Alivia: We’ve been married for fifty years and you don’t know this?
Marietta: Help me, grandma and grandpa are fighting again.
Milton: This is awkward.
Marvin: If you want to come home after the aquarium, that’s fine. Right, guys?
Patty Lynn: Of course. I’ll even come home with her and keep her company.
Marvin: There we go! Everyone’s happy.
Alicia: It does sound like a nice idea. Maybe Kathleen could even come with and we could go get pedicures or something.
Kathleen: No, I like boats.
Alicia: That’s fine! Me and Patty Lynn can hang out ourselves!
The next day…
Patty Lynn: I can’t believe I actually just got to pet a shark! And people say old age isn’t fun.
Milton: Yes, very exciting, mom. Acting like a tourist in our own city.
Marvin: Don’t be so down about it, Milton. Sometimes it’s fun to see some new things where you live. Most of us don’t and we miss out on some of the joys in our our backyards.
Milton: That was very philosophical. I actually am glad to be enjoying my city right now. I miss it while I’m in DC.
Marvin: That’s the spirit!
Patty Lynn: Alright Alicia, you ready to get home? We should let them get on their steamboat ride.
Alicia: Sounds like a plan! What do you want to do while we wait for them?
Patty Lynn: I was thinking we could just chat a bit while we made dinner.
Alicia: Sounds like a plan. I did bring some of my DVDs along with me though, if we finish dinner early maybe we could watch a movie. That Judy movie just won an Oscar on Sunday, we could watch that.
Patty Lynn: I refuse to support anything that contributed to Saoirse Ronan losing another Oscar.
Alicia: I have plenty of other things to watch.
Patty Lynn: We can cross that bridge when we get to it.
Thirty minutes later…
Marietta: Have we ever gone on a river cruise before, dad? I feel like we might have done one when I was a kid.
Martin: You didn’t. Your mother and I took a ride when you were in the Senate and Milton was busy as mayor.
Marietta: Oh. At least I’m getting to do it now! With Uncle Marvin and Aunt Kathleen!
Marvin: This is such a nice way to spend the day reconnecting with my family. Sitting on the deck of this beautiful ship, rocking in the wind, catching this beautiful view as we all get caught up. I wish I would’ve come back sooner.
Martin: We’re all glad you’re back at all.
Kathleen: Seriously, I never thought the three of us would be in the same room together ever again. Unless you count a mausoleum as a room.
Martin: So, how have you been Marv? Everything still good back up in Massachusetts?
Kathleen: The last time I went to see you there, you were trying to figure out how to become friends with Carly Simon and you were trying to buy one of those gingerbread houses. How’d that work out?
Marvin: Well, we didn’t meet Carly yet but we do live in a picturesque little gingerbread house in Oak Bluffs overlooking the ocean. I’d say accomplishing half our goal is pretty good.
Kathleen: It’s better than I’ve been doing. I’m moving backwards instead of forwards. Sorry Martin.
Martin: It’s okay, you really are.
Meanwhile, back at Patty Lynn and Martin’s house…
Alicia: How do you make a shrimp po’ boy? I forgot.
Patty Lynn: How do you forget? You’ve only been in Massachusetts for twenty years! You spent 50 years in Louisiana!
Alicia: I’m from Jersey originally, it wasn’t part of my culture growing up.
Patty Lynn: I’m about to faint.
Alicia: Just teach me how to make it!
Patty Lynn: Alright, listen very carefully. It’s very complicated. You take some flour, cornmeal and seasoning that I made myself. You mix that together. In another bowl, you take the eggs and some of that flour mixture and mix them up. Then you coat the shrimp in some other flour mixture, and then coat it in the other mixture. Then you refrigerate it, and then we’ll bake it. Once that’s done, you take this bottle of my homemade, world-famous but not really rémoulade, and you rub it on the rolls and put some lettuce and the shrimp on there. Ta-da!
Alicia: That doesn’t sound too hard.
Patty Lynn: It shouldn’t. This should be second nature for you.
Thirty minutes later…
Patty Lynn: How did this happen?
Alicia: I tried to do just what you asked.
Patty Lynn: There’s rémoulade all over my floor! And half the shrimp are bare and somehow there’s egg shells in some of them. What did you do?
Alicia: You shouldn’t have left me.
Patty Lynn: I left for twenty minutes to run to the store for lettuce! You said you understood my directions!
Alicia: I lied.
Patty Lynn: Clearly! Now what the hell are we going to eat?
Back on the steamboat…
Marvin: So, Gerry asked me to watch her kids a few weeks ago while she went with some of her girlfriends to Cape Cod. It didn’t seem like too difficult of a task, but then on-
Martin: Hold that thought, Patty Lynn is calling.
Martin picks up the phone.
Patty Lynn: Martin?
Martin: Yes.
Patty Lynn: We’re having a bit of an emergency here.
Martin: What’s going on?
Patty Lynn: Alicia made a mess when I tried to teach her how to make po’ boys. Sauce everywhere, the shrimp are ruined, it’s horrible.
Martin: That’s your emergency?
Patty Lynn: We aren’t going to eat tonight, I’d say that’s an emergency.
Martin: What do you want me to do? I’m a little preoccupied right now. I’m in the middle of the river.
Patty Lynn: Just stop at a restaurant and pick up some po’ boys please. I’m in the mood for one and I don’t have the time to make more since I have to clean up our kitchen.
Martin: I’ll buy some. I think they still make them on the boat. Remember, they come with some spicy coleslaw dressing?
Patty Lynn: They’re so overpriced on there. You can find somewhere else to buy them cheaper.
Martin: You’re right. I’ll find somewhere else to get them. See you later, love you. Don’t kill Alicia.
Patty Lynn: I might.
Martin: Don’t leave any evidence, then.
Martin hangs up the phone.
Martin: Alright guys, change of plans! Once we’re off of here we’re gonna go find a place that makes po’ boys to go.
Marvin: What happened?
Martin: I don’t think you want to know.

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