Bar Exam Season 1 Episode 7: The Bullpen/The Bullpen Special: Bar Exam


Lorenzo: So my old teammates are coming to the bar today.
Adam: We know.
Lorenzo: I’m a little nervous.
Sam: Don’t be. They all love you.
Lorenzo: Yeah, but I just remembered they hate hot dog ice cream and that’s what I was gonna serve.
Reagan: I’m sure there are other things you can serve, this is a restaurant after all.
Lorenzo: I got it! Hot ice cream!
Chase: You mean milk?
Lorenzo: Yeah not my best idea. How about pizza pockets?
Madison: That’s the kind of thing people serve when they have a bunch of other people over and tell them they know how to cook, but really they don’t.
Lincoln: You do know how to cook, right?
Lorenzo: Of course!
Chase: They’re here.
Lorenzo: That’s not them, that’s—oh yeah, that is them.
Jason: Hey Lorenzo! Hey lawyers!
Reagan: We’re not lawyers.
Jason: Oh good, so you won’t sue me?
Reagan: Lawyers represent people in court, they’re not the ones who file the lawsuits.
Bryan: Huh?
Reagan: So how’s baseball?
Bryan: He doesn’t know how to play yet.
Lorenzo: Isn’t that why I retired?
Bryan: No, I mean my kid.
Lorenzo: Wasn’t he just born?
Bryan: Yeah.
Lorenzo: So how would he know how to play?
Bryan: He wouldn’t. I just said that he doesn’t.
Kurt: We went over this on the ride here like three times.
Eli: Two and a half to be exact. Two in full and one cut off because we arrived. But now that we’re doing it again, it’s three and a half times.
Lorenzo: Can I interest you all in some...um.
Jason: What do you have?
Lorenzo: Stuff to eat, stuff to drink, have you ever tried vodka with a side of vodka sauce? Or milk?
Robert: Do you have big hot pretzels?
Lorenzo: Yeah, I’ll give one to everyone for the sake of time. So, how are things?
Jason: Good. I think the team has a real chance of winning this year.
Lorenzo: Don’t they always?
Jason: Yeah, but this year especially now that there have been changes to management in the dugout.
Eli: We get it, you’re proud of your promotion.
Kurt: And it probably won’t hurt that more teams are going to the playoffs this year.
Reagan: Isn’t that only speculation, and will only happen in future years?
Kurt: No, I think it starts this year.
Chase: Are any of you even still on the team?
Robert: I am.
Chase: I have a question for you: if your team finishes first in the league and you get to pick your opponent, who would you pick?
Robert: Probably Maryland.
Lincoln: Aren’t they supposed to win it all?
Robert: Wow you guys know way more about baseball than I thought you would. I think they were supposed to win at first, but now it might be Vermont or even New York.
Lorenzo: New York has a huge payroll but that doesn’t really mean they have a chance to win.
Sam: I have to agree with Lorenzo here, I think it’s gonna be New Jersey.
Eli: You clearly aren’t following it at all. New Jersey isn’t even a team anymore, although there is for one reason or another a fanbase for it out in the middle of the country.
Lorenzo: Wait, they’re cutting down on the number of teams this year but thinking of increasing the total number of teams in the playoffs?
Jason: Yep.
Lorenzo: That’s crazy.
Madison: So anyways, I finished my pretzel so I guess there’s nothing else for me to do here.
Lorenzo: It was nice to see you all again.
Adam: We see you every week.
Lorenzo: Not you, the bullpen guys.
Adam: So it wasn’t nice to see me?
Lorenzo: It was.
Adam: Who’s your favorite?
Lorenzo: Besides the point.
Jason: We should all get going too. Is Lorenzo’s Kitchen going to be open this summer during baseball season?
Lorenzo: I’m not sure yet. I guess all we can do is hope.

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