9/26/2017 Dumpster Fire Report -- NBC Heading For Trouble as This Is Us Delivers Frightening Ratings

Written Intoxicated with Delusions by Bridger Cunningham

Image result for dumpster fireWelcome to the TVRG Dumpster Fire Report, an article with its own undiagnosed personality disorder.

Premiere week is upon the boob tube, and it appears NBC is in a grave and dire state as a rough season is forecast.  The Voice was a bystander of Nielsen home invasion, as its follow-up stole viewers from the previously unstoppable Reality TV platform.  The Miley Cyrus/Adam Levine commercial registered an ailing 2.7 and only 25% retention of the desired 18-49% demo.  A disappointing drop, as it appears The Voice is the victim of invasive species This Is Us.  More alarmingly, adding the 2nd and 3rd place shows’ ratings together narrowly outrates NBC’s weekly concert series.   Is old age and a tiring premise to blame?


Blame This is Us at 9:00, which is taking over the TV landscape and news outlets like an invasive species. The premiere for This Is Us debuted with an alarming 3.9 demo rating, spelling trouble for the 2nd season drama and the shows around it.  Dramas are not supposed to feature original writing and age-appropriate acting.  But rather, they are supposed to copy the slew of crime procedurals, have some form of “Chicago” in the name or steal a page from a comic book somewhere.  For those readers who enjoy the power of dumping poison on others’ joy via trolling, it is time to start hating on This is Us in the comments thread.  

Giving this invasive pest praise will offset  an onslaught of issues, including writing innovations, critical acclaim and shows viewers like watching live vs. recording.  At 10:00, Law and Order: True Crime was considerate and did not steal This Is Us’ 3.9 rating, only retaining 41% of its lead-in with a 1.6.  Speculators interpret this as the 10:00 show aspires for independence from tapping the 9:00 show’s wealth.  One must ask themselves if this show is a true independent innovator, or if it just isn't holding up the bar set forth by a show with an enormous lead-in.

FOX easily won Tuesday evening during premiere week as their roster had the highest percentages of youthful souls tuning in.  NCIS and Celebrity Family Feud may have outrated Lethal Weapon, and the Voice was over double its 1.2 demo.  But that figure means 28% of the audience is from the desired 18-49 Adult demo, and everyone outside that demo appears to care less about ratings.  Lethal Weapon trounced the CW’s Flash, outrating it by 300-percent.  Continuing a winning evening was the Mick’s second season return at 9:00 with a 0.9, retaining an outstanding 75-percent from its rich lead-in.  The elite sitcom’s ratings could be folded over 4 times into NBC’s This is Us, but guess what?  32% of their 2.81 million viewers were in the desired demo vs. This is Us’ 30%.  Continuing FOX’s good tidings was Brooklyn 99, which holds the network’s highest honor of having retained 77% of The Mick’s impressive delivery with a 0.7 demo.  True, the highest-rated show of the evening could hit this rating over 5-times into their own showing.  And There are 36 American States whose populations are bigger than Brooklyn 99’s overall population.  But 35% of its audience is within the desired demo.

ABC experienced the greatest glory as its ratings matched production values and writers’ salaries.  Celebrity Family Feud did 7 circles around The Flash, and also has room to steal some ground from NBC’s The Voice with a 1.3 rating.  Continuing the graceful rhythm of the evening was Dancing With The Stars, which delivered an impressive 1.2 and held the evening’s highest retention rate of 92-percent.  Speculators have pointed to a lackluster cast and scheduling for the desired demos being down.  But everyone knows Global Warming, too many beaver dams and excesses of pot smoke are to blame for a 12-year old shows’ ratings skewing so old.  And the fact that the 50+ crowd is often in bed by 10pm, and DWTS stayed up till 11:00 like a bratty child dancing up and down on the bed while their parents tried to go to sleep.

12% target audience seems to be CBS’ desirable figure as all three shows retained this portion throughout all three premieres.  It is just as well, as CBS likes skewing old and holds the most viewers who remember a pre-Chuck Lorre-era of television which using vulgarities such as hell, damn, and butt could shake the network to the ground with uproarious controversy.  Despite having the most 50+ people hitching up their saddle, NCIS did come in 2nd with a 1.6 premiere at 8:00.  The 9:00 timeslot let Bull SIT in 2nd as well with a 1.3 ratings.  Kudos to CBS for budgeting the proper resources to get their shows to renewal without exhausting efforts and budget to get further than ratings in the 1.0’s.  Even if that dreadful range would have been executed upon first showing in the 90’s, even on FOX.  And what a better way for NCIS: New Orleans to finish out CBS’s evening, as it won against CW and FOX  in the 10:00 timeslot with a 1.0.  What will Wednesday evening behold?  Sadly, TVRG is predicting more mayhem on ABC and FOX, and CW emerging victorious. 

So what gives with this article?  The Dumpster Fire Report is TVRG's version of "The Upside Down," where every show is doing a 180.  The opinions reported in this article are just, that, satirical opinions of the author in hopes of stirring up some laughs.  Given the current intoxicating state of reporting where everyone can get on their soap box and jam their two cents down readers' throats, this article rebels against lobbying and telling readers what to think.  Everyone deserves a break from the nausea the media inflicts on us, reporting every time Trump insults someone or farts.  Or a pop star is photographed at a McDonald's going into a  restroom.  Join TVRG's Dumpster Fire Report as their goal is to mince and chew the ratings into the jokes losing networks craft in order to excuse their under performing rosters.

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