The Bellwoods step out of the movie theater.
Cindy: Wow, that was…
Mitchell: A masterpiece.
Danielle: Madame Web?
Mitchell: Yes!
Danielle: Hmm.
Mitchell: Why do you not seem to agree?
Danielle: Well, I’ve seen better.
Ralph: It was kind of a bit ridiculous, I had to try very hard not to laugh, and I don’t think that was the intention.
Mitchell: Am I the only one who loved Madame Web?
Betty: What the hell is Madame Web?
Karl: The movie we just saw.
Betty: I thought that was Dune 2: How You Dune?.
Ralph: I’ve told you so many times, that’s not the name of the movie, that was a meme on Twitter.
Jerry: It’s called “X” now.
Ralph: No it’s not.
Jerry: Yes, it is.
Ralph: Maybe to you.
Cindy: Mom, how did you think that was Dune 2? Where were the dunes? Where was Timothee Sha-lam-it?
Tammi: I think it’s pronounced “Chalamet.”
Cindy: Are you sure?
Tammi: Now you have me second-guessing it.
Betty: I don’t know, I barely remember the first Dune.
Danielle: Weren’t you the one who bought our tickets?
Ralph: That was our mistake.
Teri: I’m going to be honest with you guys, I really had trouble hearing that movie. They had the volume so quiet.
Frank: Sounded normal to me.
Betty: Of course it did, Frank. You love to be contrarian.
Velma: I hate to ever agree with Frank, but it also sounded just fine to me.
Teri: I swear I’m not crazy, it sounded so quiet to me!
Cindy: Maybe you need your hearing checked.
Teri: Don’t say that!
Betty: Hearing loss runs in the family, you know that.
Teri: I’m forty years old!
Ralph: Forty-two!
Teri: Close enough!
Betty: I’ve been wearing hearing aids since I was in my forties.
Teri: You’re making my worry now.
Velma: You know, I do have to repeat myself a lot when I’m talking with you.
Teri: And you never told me?
Velma: I figured you knew, since, uh, you’re the one always asking.
Teri: I didn’t realize I was doing it!
Velma: Well, you do.
Cindy: There’s no shame in suffering from hearing loss. We all get older.
Teri: I’m not married, I’m still young enough to have a child, it’s just my ears that are apparently aging at an accelerated rate!
Cindy: It’s genetics.
Teri: Your ears are fine!
Ralph: Mine aren’t quite what they used to be. Not to your level, but I guess I just got luckier, and Cindy got luckiest.
Mitchell: My ears are bad, too.
Velma: You’re not even on the side of the family with genetic hearing loss!
Mitchell: I’m just pointing it out!
Danielle: My ears are terrific. MY eyes, not so much, but the ears… amazing.
Steven: Am I going to get this old one day?
Tammi: Hopefully.
Steven: Why would you say that about me?
Tammi: As your mother, I’d hope you make it to your forties.
Frank: Aging doesn’t hit us all quite that hard.
Teri: Frank, shut up!
Frank: Hey, I was very respectful about your decaying eardrums, and I agreed to go to this crappy movie, I get a little jab. You’re always giving me jabs.
Teri: That’s not how this works.
Betty: So, are you going to get your hearing checked? I think it’s worth it.
Teri: I don’t know. I hear just fine, really.
Danielle: Are you joking?
Teri: Is it really that bad? Why did no one tell me before?
Danielle: I didn’t want to be rude.
Mitchell: I honestly didn’t care that much.
Teri: That’s nice to hear.
Betty: The first step in getting help is admitting you need it.
Ralph: That’s what they say about alcoholics, mom.
Betty: It’s good advice in general!
Ralph: I don’t know.
Betty: Teri, all I’m saying is that now you’ve been made aware of the fact that you’ve got a hearing problem, and we can address it and fix it.
Teri: How do In fix it?
Betty: I have hearing aids, that’s a good option.
Teri: Those stupid things that ring all day? You walk around, it sounds like the opening of The Exorcist!
Steven: Don’t insult The Exorcist like that!
Betty: My ears might literally ring, but I can hear! That’s better than the alternative.
Karl: Also, your mom’s are old and dated, they make better hearing aids nowadays that aren’t so noisy.
Betty: Wait, they do?
Karl: Yeah.
Betty: Why have I not gotten those?
Karl: They’re expensive, we’re not rich.
Jerry: You could afford a store.
Karl: Jerry, you’re not helping me.
Jerry: I’m just saying!
Karl: Say less.
Teri: Even if they’re not as annoying to listen to, they’re still eye-catching and ugly. I don’t want to look like The Golden Bachelorette with these big things in my ears!
Karl: They make smaller ones that are more discreet now.
Cindy: Why do you know so much about hearing aids, dad?
Mitchell: I think he’s in bed with Big Hearing Aid.
Karl: I’ve been looking into getting them myself?
Betty: I thought we were too poor?
Karl: I see I’ve backed myself into some mess.
Ralph: You always manage to.
Teri: If you all really think it’s a problem, I’ll go to a hearing doctor.
Cindy: It’s not really up to us, they’re your ears. If you think it’s worth getting help for, then get help. If not, don’t worry about it. Simple as that.
Teri: I don’t want all of you judging me if I don’t do anything about it.
Cindy: Big, tough Teri is worried about us judging her? You’ve got to be kidding.
Teri: I’m sensitive, deep down.
Velma: No one’s going to judge you if you don’t go, everyone’s just trying to give some advice.
Teri: I’ll think about it. I don’t know if it’s worth wasting my time and money to go, but if you guys keep noticing I’m having problems, I’ll go.
Jerry: Okay, now that that’s settled, can we stop talking outside the movie theater like a bang of merry fools? We’re ten minutes from home, we can just talk there.
Tammi: I forgot we were even still at the theater.
Danielle: What movie did we even see?
Betty: Okay, the movie wasn’t good, everyone stop rubbing it in!
Danielle: I didn’t even mean it in a bad way, we’ve just been yapping here for so long that I forgot what we even saw.
Cindy: Madame Web.
Danielle: Oh… right.
Betty: That was clearly meant in a bad way.
Danielle: Yes, it certainly was.
Three days later…
Teri: Mom, what’s the name of your hearing doctor?
Betty: You mean my ear, nose and throat doctor?
Teri: I don’t have a problem with my nose or my throat, just my ears!
Betty: Oh, you’ve got a lot to learn.
Teri: That sounds like a threat.
Betty: No, it’s a helpful reminder. It’s fine that you don’t know all the terminology, though, the important thing is you’re getting help. There’s no shame in it!
Teri: So, who’s the doctor?
Betty: Dr. Grenadine.
Teri: No first name?
Betty: Rachel Grenadine. I’ll get you the number.
Teri: That would be very helpful, thank you.
Ralph: What are we exchanging doctor names for?
Betty: Teri is getting her hearing checked!
Velma: She is? I’m proud of her!
Mitchell: I still don’t think it’s that big of a deal, you don’t really need hearing aids. You hear just fine! It’s probably just a buildup of wax or something.
Ralph: The thought of that is even worse than the idea of her losing her hearing.
Cindy: So, what spurred this decision? You were in denial a few days ago.
Teri: Why is everyone coming out of the woodwork all of the sudden and getting all up in my business?
Velma: It’s dinner time.
Ralph: And I’m getting it, if you’d all stop hounding me!
Teri: Well, if you all must know, I had an incident at work today where I couldn’t understand what a very old, apparently very loud woman was trying to say to me, and everyone around me was in complete shock that I was unable to hear her. Do you know how demoralizing it feels to have someone great-grandmother tell you you need your hearing checked?
Betty: I don’t know the exact feeling, but I’d imagine it’s not great.
Teri: Yeah, it’s not.
Ralph: Is this really the first time this has happened?
Teri: Now that I think about it, no. You know me, when someone criticizes me, my response is to ignore it and bury it down deep, as if it was never said. So that’s what I did, and I didn’t realize how often I was having these problems.
Betty: I told you you should’ve gone to the doctor!
Teri: Did you?
Betty: I’ve said it many times, you just didn’t want to hear it!
Cindy: I can’t say I remember hearing that, but I don’t want to call our mother a liar, so I’ll say I believe her.
Teri: I’ll call tomorrow. I hope there’s a solution besides, you know…
Karl: There’s no shame in them!
Betty: Of course he’d say that, he’s the one secretly getting them behind my back while I suffer with these old ones that squeak and make dogs run away from me!
Frank: I’m lost.
Tammi: They mean hearing aids.
Frank: Oh, right.
Mitchell: Even I knew that.
Velma: And he’s dumb!
The next week…
Dr. Grenadine: So, Teri, it’s nice to meet you. I treat your mother and your father.
Teri: I’m so sorry to hear that.
Dr. Grenadine: Oh, they are lovely people!
Teri: Dad is.
Dr. Grenadine: Your mom is so sweet.
Teri: Insane, though.
Dr. Grenadine: She has her moments, but everyone does.
Teri: Not like her.
Dr. Grenadine: She tells me a lot about you.
Teri: All lies!
Dr. Grenadine: She speaks very highly of you, and all of there family. I feel like I know them all.
Teri: Then in that case, it’s all true!
Dr. Grenadine: I’m glad to see you’re inherited your parents’ sense of humor.
Teri: I know there’s a doctor-patient confidentiality, but my dad totally has hearing aids already, right.
Dr. Grenadine: I can’t share that.
Teri: I won’t tell!
Dr. Grenadine: My lips are sealed.
Teri: I didn’t realize my doctor was Belinda Carlisle.
Dr. Grenadine: As much as I enjoy this rapport, I’d be remiss if I didn’t ask you what you were in for, seeing as I do have other appointments today.
Teri: My hearing, it’s not good. A lot worse than anyone else I know that’s my age.
Dr. Grenadine: Well, everyone’s ears are different, and not all of us are blessed to maintain our hearing throughout our lives. Some experience hearing loss in our elder years, and others are even more unfortunate to begin experiencing it in young adulthood. I see you’re forty-two. In cases of genetic inheritance, hearing loss can begin at that time.
Teri: You’re sure?
Dr. Grenadine: I’m sure, yes. Now, I’m going to test your ears, just to see the level of loss we’re dealing with. I’m going to use an audiometer to test your hearing and that’ll help us figure out the next step forward.
Teri: What if I don’t like the results?
Dr. Grenadine: It’s not the end of the world if you are experiencing hearing loss, so please don’t get too affected by it. There are so many ways to help.
Teri: I really don’t want hearing aids, though. Not even a little bit.
Dr. Grenadine: There’s no shame in it, I promise you. So many young people, your age and even younger, have come through here with the same concerns about it making you seem old, and there’s no need to worry about it. Hearing aids are just that - an aid. Needing help is a completely normal human function.
Teri: That sounds like what we tell the elderly before we put them in nursing homes.
Dr. Grenadine: This is going to be a challenge, I think.
Teri: That’s what many people say about me!
Later that night…
Betty: So, how’d it go?
Teri: Moderate hearing loss!
Betty: Oh, I’m sorry…
Velma: We always knew you could do it!
Teri: Do what?
Velma: You passed the test, no?
Teri: I wouldn’t put it in that way.
Velma: I’m just trying to stay positive, Betty looks like she’s at a funeral.
Betty: I do not!
Karl: You do look sad, though.
Betty: Am I supposed to be happy my daughter’s hearing is terrible because of my stupid genes?
Frank: Maybe try out a different pair of jeans then if yours are so bad?
Betty: Yeah, very funny, idiot.
Frank: Just trying to lighten the mood.
Betty: I’d say I wish you could lighten yourself enough to float out of here, but you’re such an airhead that it’s impossible to lighten your head anymore.
Cindy: What did the doctor actually do about your hearing loss, though? I don’t see any hearing aids.
Teri: Well… they are in there! She was able to set me up with a small pair, that’s not bulky or distracting and no one that sees me will ever notice unless they’re looking far closer than they should be. All my worry was for nothing.
Karl: I told you so!
Ralph: When are you going to learn that dad is the only one in this family worth taking advice from?
Betty: Hey! I was the one who really pushed her!
Ralph: Yeah, but you did it in a way that annoyed her enough to not want to listen to you.
Betty: That’s what a mother does!
Steven: It’s true!
Tammi: You’re grounded.
Steven: Yes, mother.
What did you think this episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!
