The Bullpen Season 4 Episode 13: Drunk Pitching

LORENZO, ROBERT, FELIX, CHARLES, ACE, DEVIN, HARRY, and MANNY are all sitting in the bullpen of an Indianapolis Primitives’ game. The game is about to begin. 

MANNY
Alright everyone, you know the drill. Within a few hours we’ll all be out of here. 


FELIX
Motivating. 


MANNY
Thank you. 


CHARLES
We got a great pitcher in the game today. 


ACE
Don’t we always? 


LORENZO
Actually, sometimes I’m a little off my game. 


ACE
Lorenzo you’re not pitching right now. 


LORENZO
Yeah but I could be if I wanted to. 


DEVIN
You sure about that? 


LORENZO
Nope. 


DEVIN
Huh? 


HARRY
Ignore him. 


CHARLES

Whoa…did anyone else just see that pitch? 


ROBERT
I wasn’t watching. What happened? 


CHARLES
It went right by the catcher!


ACE
That catcher must suck. 


CHARLES
Eh, I think it’s the same one as always…oof, another bad pitch!


LORENZO

Just to make sure, is the crowd booing me? 


FELIX
Why would they be booing you? 


LORENZO
It’s just that sometimes I think I don’t contribute all I can to this team. 


FELIX
Trust me, I’m the one who should think like that. They’re booing the pitcher because he can’t do his job. 


ROBERT
Um…did he just throw the ball into the outfield? 


DEVIN
He’s stumbling a lot too. 


MANNY
You know what guys? I don’t really know what’s going on at the mound but you’re all interested in the game now, so I’m gonna take credit for that. 


HARRY
And how do you deserve credit for this? 


MANNY
A good leader takes full responsibility for the actions of their team. 


ACE
You’re kinda making me want to not watch the game right now. 


CHARLES
I hear that bullpen phone ringing!


DEVIN
I was hoping it’d go unnoticed. 


MANNY picks up the phone and listens, then hangs up. 


MANNY
Alright everyone, you know that pitcher you’re all marveling at? Turns out he’s drunk!


FELIX
Wait, really?! 


MANNY
Yeah, and actually all the starters were out partying this afternoon. 


FELIX
Cut to the chase, who do they want to warm up? 


MANNY
Oh, nobody, they just called to tell me that. 


FELIX
So they’re going with a drunk guy over any given one of us? 


MANNY
Uh huh. 


CHARLES
You sure about that because I hear the phone ringing again. 


MANNY picks up the phone again, listens, and hangs up. 


MANNY
Change of plans. Ace, you’re in. 


FELIX
WHAT?!?!?! Do they not remember I’m here? 


ACE
Don’t I at least get a few warmup pitches? 


MANNY
They say it probably wouldn’t matter. Just get in there and try to pitch better than a drunk guy. 


ACE
Okay…I’ll try. But pitching isn’t really my thing. 


LORENZO
Ace, just remember, I know it’s a bad situation but imagine the chicken wings Harry will make you afterwards. 


HARRY

I will? 


ACE

Wish me luck everyone!


ACE runs onto the field. His first pitch flies over the umpire’s head. The manager immediately walks up to the mound and takes the ball away from ACE, who walks back to the bullpen. 


ROBERT
Safe to say there’s nothing more to gain to us being here right now? 


MANNY

You don’t have to ask me twice. 


MANNY leaves and everyone else follows. 



Share this

Related Posts

Previous
Next Post »