Bar Exam Season 4 Episode 13: Exam This Bar (SEASON FINALE)

REAGAN, MADISON, CHASE, SAM, ADAM, and LINCOLN all walk into Lorenzo’s Kitchen by SugarCity and sit down at the bar. 

CHASE
Just here to exam this bar. Get it?


SAM
Yes Chase. You practiced it 10 times on the way here. 


CHASE

Don’t forget the 16 times before we left!


REAGAN

Why is it even so important?


CHASE
I wanted to make sure it flowed naturally. After all, it might be the last pun I ever tell Lorenzo in this place. 


LORENZO
What? 


CHASE
I was talking to you earlier. 


LORENZO
Oops. Lot on my mind. Coming right up. 


LORENZO hands CHASE a glass of milk. 


CHASE
How did you even know I wanted a glass of milk?!


LORENZO
I figure that’s what you said earlier. 


CHASE
Actually, I said just here to exam this bar. Get it?


LORENZO 

Yes, I get it. 


CHASE
Then why aren’t you laughing. 


LORENZO lets out a fake chuckle. 


CHASE
That’s more like it. 


ADAM

What does any of this have to do with what’s important here?


LINCOLN

Yeah, I kinda want to know if Lorenzo’s staying or not. 


MADISON

If he goes, so do I. 


LORENZO

I’ll make my announcement when Fred gets here. 


SAM

By the way, is this place closed right now? There’s no one else in here. 


LORENZO

I never put up the Open sign. I want you guys to be the first to know what my decision is. 


FRED runs into Lorenzo’s Kitchen by SugarCity. 


FRED
Sorry I’m late, you see—actually, what do you care? You can’t fire me. 


HARRY walks over to the bar. 


HARRY

Lorenzo said he had a decision to announce when Fred arrived. Fred’s here now. Lorenzo, let’s hear it. 


LORENZO
Alright, so I was thinking a lot about—


HARRY

Just tell me the decision. I mean, tell all of us. 


FRED
Don’t I get to be the first to know?


CHASE
Also, remember Lorenzo retired from the Primitives and then returned so whatever decision he made probably has absolutely no influence on his future. 


LORENZO
The Primitives are an interesting case. 


FRED
Yeah, there’s a lot more structure here. 


HARRY
Just tell us your decision already.


FRED

My decision was to wear the red shirt over the green shirt, but—oh, you were talking to Lorenzo. 


LORENZO
You really want to know the decision?


ALL
YES! 


LORENZO
Alright then. 


LORENZO pauses. 


REAGAN

You gonna tell us?


LORENZO
I have decided to leave Lorenzo’s Kitchen by SugarCity. 


MADISON

Um...really?


LORENZO
Really. I know SugarCity will continue to make this a successful restaurant, and if I travel with the Primitives, I get to accidentally entertain more people!


CHASE
Opening a restaurant was a dream of yours. You’re really going to quit? 


LORENZO
Not quit. SugarCity is offering me a lifetime supply of SugarCity productions AND SugarCity’s Kitchen products for free!


LINCOLN

That actually sounds like a great deal. 


LINCOLN [to FRED]

You’re not planning on killing the guy to get out of the deal, right?


FRED [to LINCOLN]

Why does everyone always ask that?! No!


LORENZO
I had a fun time in charge of Lorenzo’s Kitchen, but it’s time SugarCity make this place as good as it can possibly be. That’s my final decision. 


MADISON

I...I can’t believe this. 


LORENZO
I’ll still stop by as long as you all do!


Everyone agrees. LORENZO says his goodbye to everyone and to the cotton candy machine, and everyone leaves. 


One week goes by, and LORENZO is enjoying his time in the bullpen as well as his supply of SugarCity products. He hears his phone ring and answers it. It’s FRED. 


FRED

Oh thank God, you picked up!!


LORENZO

Was I supposed to be calling you? I’m okay! Well, I’m the same as I was. 


FRED

I need you. 


LORENZO

No thanks. 


FRED
No, I mean I need you for the restaurant. This is turning into a disaster. I don’t know how to run a restaurant, Harry keeps threatening to quit—actually, that might not be so bad—but it’s terrible! 


LORENZO
Not SugarCity’s Kitchen!!


FRED 

I’m afraid so. 


LORENZO

If I get takeout there, will it be better?


FRED
Lorenzo...I need you to come back. Please. I’m begging you. 


After a long pause. 


FRED

Lorenzo? Are you there?


After another long pause. 


LORENZO

I’ll think about it. For now, I have a date with cotton candy. 


LORENZO hangs up the phone. 

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