Marietta Season 2, Episode 15
The Waiting
Marietta, Tammy, Patty Lynn, Milton, Kathleen and Martin are watching Super Tuesday returns on TV.
Dan Freberg: We’re now just thirty seconds away from the first poll closings in Vermont and Virginia.
Marietta: Don’t get too worried mom, Eileen isn’t supposed to win anything right now. 8 o’clock is when the states she’s supposed to win will come in.
Patty Lynn: She still has to do well in Virginia. She hasn’t won a single state yet and she’s third in the delegates. She’s behind Patrick Balmer, and he dropped out to endorse Tammy Koobach last night!
Dan: It is now 7 o’clock, and we can now make two projections. In the state of Vermont, home of Ben & Jerry’s and frontrunner Benny Metzenberg, Senator Metzenberg will win.
Patty Lynn: That’s fine! That was supposed to happen.
Dan: And in the commonwealth of Virginia we can shockingly already make a call…
Patty Lynn: What?
Martin: Relax, it could be for Eileen.
Dan: Tammy Koobach will win what we’re being told in a decisive victory in the commonwealth.
Patty Lynn: That was not supposed to happen. It was supposed to be close. Benny was supposed to have a chance there.
Milton: Kate said this was gonna happen. There were rumblings that they were all gonna get behind Tammy to try to stop the two more liberal candidates from winning and it happened.
Patty Lynn: What do we do now?
Marietta: We keep watching! Just because something happened in Virginia doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way across the country.
Thirty minutes later…
Dan: It’s 7:30 and polls are closing in North Carolina. We can immediately predict that Tammy Koobach will be the victor there.
Patty Lynn: What is happening? Why is Eileen in fourth in all of these states?
Marietta: She didn’t do well in many of the states before this. This isn’t that surprising.
Patty Lynn: I’m just not ready to give up on her.
Tammy: Don’t! We need her to win. Koobach has to lose!
Marietta: You’re just saying that because you want to be the only Tammy.
Tammy: Yes but she’s also highly overrated. I like Eileen.
Patty Lynn: I’m keeping up hope! She can still win Louisiana. Polls close here in thirty minutes!
Thirty minutes later…
Dan: It’s eight o’clock on the East coast, and polls are closed now in multiple states. Let’s run through them. In Alabama, Tammy Koobach wins another decisive victory. In Louisiana, it’s too close to call between Koobach and Metzenberg. Home state governor Eileen Birkman is set to come in third.
Patty Lynn: What? How is Eileen in third?
Martin: It’s going to be okay. She’ll stay in.
Dan: In Massachusetts, it’s too early to call but Koobach leads. In Maine, it’s too close to call, again between Koobach and Metzenberg. In Oklahoma and Tennessee, Tammy Koobach leads but it is too early to call. Texas is too close to call between Koobach and Metzenberg.
Sarah Pratt: One common theme across the board here is that Birkman and Dickerson are really nowhere to be found. They’re under 15% just about everywhere which puts them at risk of going home without delegates.
Dan: These two went after each other so much at the debates and it seems to have cost them both.
Sarah: Another really interesting thing is that you’ve seen Koobach’s campaign truly come back to life after those endorsements by Senator Chalmers and Mayor Balmer. Nobody saw her winning Massachusetts before, she didn’t have a campaign office there, but she’s leading now.
Patty Lynn: And it sucks!
Martin: Maybe we can take a break from watching this. Let’s watch The Voice from last night.
Patty Lynn: We didn’t invite our entire family and also Tammy here for a Voice watch party! They’re all here to watch Super Tuesday results with us.
Milton: Mom, it really is fine. If you need to take your mind off the results, you can watch whatever you want.
Marietta: Yeah, Tammy and I are barely paying attention anymore.
Tammy: It’s too depressing. We’re playing Clue and eating nachos with Eileen’s face on them!
Kathleen: Where did you guys even get chips with Eileen’s face on them?
Patty Lynn: She has a very passionate stay-at-home mom fanbase. One of them started baking these and Eileen caught on and had her make them officially for her campaign.
Kathleen: That’s very interesting.
Patty Lynn: You don’t seem very upset about tonight, Kathleen. Why not?
Kathleen: I was never too firmly in the Birkman camp. I like her a lot, but she wasn’t the only candidate I like. Koobach is great, too.
Patty Lynn: I knew that Marvin was brainwashing you! Did you even vote for Eileen today?
Kathleen: Of course! I don’t want to get kicked out.
Twenty-five minutes later…
Patty Lynn: There’s another poll closing! Turn off The Voice!
Dan: Polls are now closed in Arkansas! We can immediately report that it is too early to call, but Tammy Koobach is leading.
Sarah: Thus far tonight, we’ve seen victories for Koobach in Alabama, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Virginia and a Metzenberg victory in Vermont. Nothing for Birkman or Dickerson or of course Helena Grover who is under one percent in most states.
Marietta: Glad we turned off The Voice for this?
Patty Lynn: No! Eileen is in fourth in Arkansas! What the heck is wrong with your state, Kathleen?
Kathleen: That’s Allen’s state, not mine. Mine put her in third just like most of the other states.
Patty Lynn: Fine. But they need to get their crap together.
Martin: Don’t give up hope! There’s still four states left!
Patty Lynn: Oh Martin. You think Minnesota’s gonna turn things around? They’re the ones that gave us that monster!
Marietta: Tammy Koobach is actually a pretty lovely person and it makes me sad to not be supporting her.
Milton: Yeah, I’ve only met her once since I’ve been in the Senate but she was very kind.
Patty Lynn: You two better stop before you get kicked out!
Tammy: It might be good if Marietta gets kicked out. She’s got a lot of proposals from the city council to look over.
Marietta: I will get to them!
Tammy: John said he wanted your feedback on them as soon as possible so he could use your notes on them to perfect them by the next meeting.
Marietta: The next meeting isn’t for weeks, I will get to it. Just let me relax tonight and watch election returns with my family.
Tammy: I’m not telling you what to do, just keep it in mind because it feels like you’re avoiding them.
Marietta: Oh would you look at that! They just called Massachusetts for Tammy Koobach!
Patty Lynn: Don’t sound so happy about it! Nina Chalmers rigged it for her to win and you can’t convince me of anything else.
Twenty minutes later…
Dan: It’s now nine o’clock here on the east coast and the polls are closing in Minnesota and Colorado. We can immediately project that Minnesota has gone to Tammy Koobach. That’s her home state and she truly blew the others out of the water, everyone else is unlikely to gain any delegates there. We’re still awaiting results in Colorado. In the meantime, however, we can project Arkansas for Koobach.
Patty Lynn: Put. The Voice. Back. On. NOW.
Martin: Alright, putting it on. Oh no! I deleted it!
Marietta: Hand it here, Ill get it back.
One hour later…
Patty Lynn: This is the big one. California! I’m feeling a little more confident right now, I really think Eileen can get to fifteen percent here and get a ton of delegates.
Dan: Polls have just closed in California, and Benny Metzenberg has won the state. This is the biggest prize of Super Tuesday, and even though Metzenberg’s campaign has taken a massive hit tonight, this is a huge victory nonetheless. Senator Tammy Koobach trails by ten percent in these early results, while Mayor Brett Dickerson and Governor Eileen Birkman are both likely to finish below fifteen percent.
Marietta: Mom, do you need something? Like a Valium? I have one if you need it.
Patty Lynn: I’m fine. Eileen will persist. She can turn it around in Michigan. She’s been campaigning there hard, she’s even speaking there tonight. If Governor Whilder endorses her, she could win.
Martin: I don’t think it’s gonna happen for Eileen. Not this time.
Patty Lynn: Don’t say that! It doesn’t have to be over for her. She can stay in and hope for a contested convention! She can unite the party and win!
Martin: I think it’s time for bed.
Patty Lynn: It’s ten o’clock! I’m still charged up and excited to continue watching The Voice!
Milton: Mom, if you’re sad and want to get it out, it’s okay. We’re all sad.
Patty Lynn: Oh thank god, I gotta let this out. People on the news keep telling me she’s not electable. She’s electable if you freaking vote for her. Just because nobody ever heard of her before January 2018 when she yelled at that guy in the Louisiana Senate chamber and went viral doesn’t mean she’s not a good choice to be president. Why do we have to settle on either an eighty-year-old guy who fell off the stage last week and broke his ankle because his shoelace wasn’t tied right or a lady from Minnesota who thinks that sharp cheddar cheese is spicy and that it’s relatable to tell a story about accidentally killing a goose one time?
Tammy: That was a different Tammy. That was me.
Patty Lynn: Oh, sorry Tammy. Either way, we should get to have this accomplished, persistent fighter who loves to post videos of her dog on Twitter as our president. She’s a progressive who moderates can rally behind. She’s written fifteen books, and that’s just her plans for when she’s elected! She’s perfect! If people weren’t so sexist and mean they’d be able to see that!
Marietta: That was actually relatively well thought-out besides the last part. However, I think sometimes we just have to accept that not everyone believes the way that we do. We aren’t all going to agree on the same candidate. I can’t tell you the last time I voted for the person that ended up becoming the nominee.
Patty Lynn: I want a woman President, Marietta! I don’t know why America isn’t ready for it.
Marietta: We have a woman President.
Patty Lynn: A woman President that isn’t embarrassing. I’m old, I don’t know how if I’m ever gonna see that.
Milton: Tammy Koobach is our frontrunner.
Patty Lynn: Oh come on, Milton. There’s never gonna be a President from Minnesota!
Tammy: Don’t give up hope! Terrible things happen when we lose hope. Don’t freak out if Eileen loses the nomination. Mourn that loss, then fight for the nominee.
Patty Lynn: I will, I will. Now can we watch The Voice?
Two days later…
Tammy: Marietta, did you ever look over those proposals?
Amy: Yeah, John keeps calling.
Tammy: Why did you not tell us that sooner?
Amy: I’m sorry I’m not perfect, Tammy.
Marietta: I have to go to my therapy appointment, I’ll be back after that and then I’ll look over those proposals.
Tammy: Alright. Just, make sure you do it right away when you’re back.
Amy: Wait. It’s four o’clock and your appointments are forty-five minutes long. You’re not coming back, right?
Marietta: Oh! Guess I’m not. I’ll just have to look over them tomorrow!
At Marietta’s therapy session…
Dr. Bouchard: Hey there Marietta! How have you been these past few weeks?
Marietta: Fine, I guess.
Dr. Bouchard: You don’t sound fine.
Marietta: I’m really not. I’ve been feeling so anxious these past few weeks. I guess it all started the day after our last session. I was at the movies and I kept hearing loud banging noises. It was just the outside door, but I thought it was a gunshot. I really thought I was going to die right there in that theater. I didn’t want to die in a theater watching Sonic the Hedgehog! Ever since then, I haven’t been completely right. To top it off, I think my old goldfish Goldie is dying. She’s barely swimming or eating anymore. I know it sounds silly to be so sad about a goldfish, but there were some days in DC when she was the only one there for me and she made me laugh and cheered me up and got me through some hard times. I’m going to miss her a lot. And now my entire family is heartbroken that Eileen Birkman is doing terrible in the Democratic primary. My mom especially. She’s stressing me out so much, I can barely get through the day. She goes from crying to pure anger and then back to crying and then into a ten-minute rant all at once. It’s been a very stressful few weeks. It’s starting to impact my work. The city council wants me to look over some proposals. I’ve always been a procrastinator, but I’ve been pushing this off to a degree I’ve never done before. I feel a rush of anxiety come over me when I even go near the documents on my desk. Now Tammy and Amy are pressing me about it and I don’t know what to say. I’m afraid to tell them even though they’ve both been there for me throughout this.
Dr. Bouchard: First off, it’s really important that you’ve been able to identify these certain stressors from these past few weeks. You were able to point to three events in your life that are genuinely causing anxiety for you and that’s important because if you don’t identify that, you won’t get by any of this. Now, the movie theater event does sound very scary. Thinking that that sound is a gunshot isn’t something that most people that don’t suffer from anxiety disorder would usually suffer from, but you’ve frequently talked about fearing mass shootings, and that’s why that popped into your mind so quickly.
Marietta: So what you’re saying is that my brain is broken and that’s why I think like this.
Dr. Bouchard: No, not at all. Your brain just works a little bit differently than most and that is fine. You’re just more aware of your surroundings when you’re in public and you pick up on things like that.
Marietta: How should I go about fixing that so it doesn’t impact my work?
Dr. Bouchard: Just try the tactics I told you about. If you start to feel anxious thinking about the movie theater experience, or thinking about your fish, or thinking about the election, just breathe in and out and do whatever you need to calm yourself. I think it’s extremely important that when you go in to work tomorrow, you look over those papers straight away. The only way to get past stress over something like that is to jump right into it. Don’t let the panic win. It’s hard sometimes but it’s worth getting past because it helps you feel better in the end. The scariness of looking through those papers will be offset by the relief you feel once you realize it was nothing to panic about.
The next day…
Patty Lynn: MARTIN!!!
Martin: What’s going on?
Patty Lynn: I need a hug.
Martin: Again. What’s going on?
Patty Lynn: Look at the TV.
Martin: Aww, Patty Lynn. I’m sorry.
Patty Lynn: I’m so sad that it had to come to this. Why didn’t more people want Eileen to be president?
Martin: I don’t know. Maybe there’s a silver lining to her dropping out. You would’ve obsessed over this primary for months if she stuck around until the convention, and it wouldn’t have ended the way you wanted it to. Now you’re free to worry about other things.
Patty Lynn: Like making her Vice President!
Martin: Sure. At least there aren’t vice presidential primaries.
Patty Lynn gets a call from Marietta.
Marietta: Mom! I just saw the news, how are you holding up?
Patty Lynn: Not too well, but better than I would be if I wasn’t waiting for it already. I was prepared for this but I’m still sad it’s now reality.
Marietta: I know. It’s hard to lose a candidate you really care about. But, it will be okay. Just listen to Eileen. Keep fighting for what you believe in. She’s still the governor of our state. That matters!
Patty Lynn: I know. I’m happy about that, at least. She’s not going anywhere.
Marietta: That’s the spirit! Now, I have to get to work so I’m gonna go.
Patty Lynn: Bye Marietta!
Marietta hangs up with Patty Lynn and heads to her office to work.
Tammy: Oh look! Marietta’s here, only ten minutes late! I think that’s a new record!
Marietta: Very funny.
Tammy: How’s Patty Lynn taking today’s news?
Marietta: She’s okay, surprisingly. I think she was expecting it, but she’s still bummed. We all are.
Tammy: Why do you look like that, Amy?
Amy: I voted for Koobach.
Tammy: Of course you did! You hate me.
Amy: I just liked her positions better than Eileen.
Tammy: You’re why this happened. You’re way Patty Lynn is crying today. You betrayed your own state.
Amy: Did you vote for her? Are you even a resident here?
Tammy: Yes, as of November I am a resident of Louisiana, and I voted for Eileen. I did my part to stop that evil woman.
Amy: Why do you hate her so much?
Marietta: Don’t get her started.
Tammy: Once she came along in 2006, I wasn’t the only Tammy in politics anymore. I used to be able to campaign just using my first name, I was like the Cher of politics. All of my campaign logos just said “Tammy for Senate” and I had to change it all when she jumped in.
Amy: So you hate her because of her name.
Tammy: Exactly! How could I not?
Amy: Easily, I’d assume.
Marietta: She exaggerates. She doesn’t even hate her. They're friendly in the Senate.
Tammy: That was before she decided to run for President and try to make me no longer be the most recognizable Tammy in America!
Amy: That’s an unusual reason to hate a candidate, I’ll give you credit for that.
Marietta: As much as I’ve enjoyed this bizarre conversation, I have to go lock myself in my office.
Tammy: Why, are you about to turn into the Hulk or something?
Marietta: I’m going to read those proposals from the city council that I’ve been stressing about all week. Dr. Bouchard told me to do it to get over my anxiety over it.
Tammy: You could’ve just asked me for advice about it. I would’ve told you the same thing and you would’ve saved so much money.
One hour later…
Tammy: Marietta? What are you doing out of your office so quickly? Finish reading over the proposals already?
Marietta: Yeah! I was worried over nothing at all! I really thought I was gonna have to think hard about the proposals and whether any of it was feasible but it turns out it was mostly just simple stuff like requesting that I send them some documents over about some of my cabinet hires and signing a bill designating April 5 as Cafe Du Monde Day for some reason. There wasn’t anything serious in there.
Tammy: So you were worried about nothing? That’s pretty on-brand for you, I gotta say.
The next night…
Patty Lynn: Oh my god, Martin! Get in here!
Martin: I’m brushing my teeth!
Patty Lynn: Just get in here! You gotta see this!
Martin: What is it?
Patty Lynn: Eileen is on SNL!
Martin: What do you mean she’s on SNL? They’re impersonating her?
Patty Lynn: No! She’s really on SNL! I have to call Marietta!
Martin: Don’t bug her, it’s late.
Patty Lynn: This is the one thing that’s made me happy in a week. I have to let her know about it!
What did you think of the episode? Comment your thoughts, listen to the official season two playlist below and make sure to read the new episode next week!
