STATION MARKET HH RATINGS (+/- LAST WEEK)
RSN Los Angeles: 6.6 (-0.4)
RSN Indianapolis: 5.9 (-0.3)
RSN Santa Fe: 0.8 (=)
RSN Anchorage: 0.4 (-0.5)
RSN Bridgeport: 0.1 (+0.1)
SETTING: RSN’s corporate office. AUSTIN is in a one-on-one meeting with BENNY.
BENNY INTERVIEW
I called Austin in for a meeting. The hard truth is, Anchorage’s ratings are slipping. And what kind of CEO am I if I just let it happen without pulling his strings a bit?
BENNY
Just…what were you thinking?
AUSTIN
I figured—
BENNY
No. You were wrong.
AUSTIN
It wasn’t just me, it was a station decision.
AUSTIN INTERVIEW
Anchorage’s success with practically 24/7 fishing programming was short-lived. I signed off on a plan to replace it with a bunch of talk shows and uh…well let’s just say the ratings didn’t get any better.
BENNY
And you shouldn’t be making these big decisions without consulting with me. I’m the CEO, remember?
AUSTIN
I know, I just thought their plan would work, that’s all.
BENNY
And I would’ve stopped it in a second.
AUSTIN
Would you have?
BENNY
Yeah, sure, wouldn’t anyone with half a brain?
AUSTIN
What would you suggest then?
BENNY
Not talk shows about football! This is Anchorage we’re dealing with!
AUSTIN
Football is popular in Anchorage! Just because they don’t have a professional sports team doesn’t mean they don’t like the sport!
BENNY
Then show them the sport! Don’t just…talk about it for 10 hours!
AUSTIN
It’s not exactly prime football season in Anchorage right now.
BENNY sighs.
BENNY
Just take the talk shows off the schedule. I don’t care what you replace them with. Anything will be better.
BENNY points to the door, prompting AUSTIN to exit. AUSTIN returns to his cubicle where he finds KYLIE, NICOLE, SASHA, and BLAKE working. TREVOR is at KYLIE’s cubicle.
AUSTIN
Anyone know what’s gotten into Benny? He’s…unusually upset over programming decisions.
SASHA
It’s just a timing thing. He’s upset his team lost the Super Bowl.
AUSTIN
I didn’t take Benny as a football fan.
SASHA
He’s Topeka born and raised, of course he cared about this one. Plus he bets equal amounts of money on each team winning and always ends up upset at the end no matter what.
KYLIE and TREVOR giggle.
SASHA
It’s more pathetic than funny if you ask me.
NICOLE INTERVIEW
Kylie and Trevor weren’t even listening to her. [NICOLE pauses]. I gotta get to the bottom of this.
NICOLE walks around the office until she can find DEVIN.
NICOLE
There you are! Look, I need your help.
DEVIN
You need…*my* help?
NICOLE
I need you to figure out if Kylie and Trevor are…romantic. They keep giggling.
NICOLE INTERVIEW
If Kylie gets sidetracked by an office romance, maybe LA’s ratings will tank and Indy can finally overtake them! Oh this is a dream come true for me.
DEVIN
Alright, I’ll get on it.
DEVIN immediately retreats to an isolated area in the office and starts a video call with the people he trusts most on the matter: his former teammates, now the station managers for the RSN affiliates; BRYAN of RSN Indy, MANNY of RSN Santa Fe, ROBERT of RSN Anchorage, VICTOR of RSN Bridgeport, and ACE of RSN Los Angeles.
DEVIN
Hey guys! Good to see you all again. I promise I’ll keep this brief. I’ve been put on a huge task here in the corporate office and I need your help.
MANNY
And I’m ready to help.
DEVIN
I need help figuring out if two people working here are in an office romance.
ACE
I can guarantee you Kylie is not, so if she’s one of the ones in question, there’s your answer.
DEVIN
She is. Guess that solves it!
VICTOR
Wait a minute, we should at least wait and find out who the other person is!
DEVIN
The other person doesn’t have a station. He just kind of makes himself look busy. Kind of like me!
BRYAN
Oh. Yeah there might be something going on there.
ROBERT
What evidence do you have for and against this?
DEVIN
According to someone else, they giggle.
MANNY
That’s it?
DEVIN
That’s it.
VICTOR
I don’t know, that could be enough.
MANNY
Let’s take a vote. Raise your hand if you think it’s a romance.
MANNY, VICTOR, and BRYAN raise their hands.
MANNY
All opposed?
ACE, ROBERT, and DEVIN raise their hands.
DEVIN
So it’s a tie.
Everyone is silent for a few seconds.
DEVIN
Should we?
ROBERT
I don’t think you have a choice.
DEVIN adds LORENZO, their former teammate, to the call to break the tie. LORENZO listens carefully before making his decision.
LORENZO
I’ve heard all I need to hear. That’s a romance.
MANNY, VICTOR, and BRYAN pump their fists as if they had won.
ACE
Trust me, it’s not, but okay.
DEVIN
Thanks guys. Oh also Robert, our CEO is like super mad over Anchorage so…yeah thought you should know that. You probably do already though.
ROBERT
I didn’t. Thank you for telling me.
DEVIN
We should do this again some time.
DEVIN notices NICOLE approaching and quickly shuts off his computer.
NICOLE
Did you figure it out?
DEVIN
Yep. They like each other!
NICOLE walks back to her cubicle to find TREVOR showing BLAKE a video on his phone and giggling, KYLIE back to work, and AUSTIN on the phone with RSN Anchorage. NICOLE quickly realizes she misread the situation. She walks over to SASHA for advice.
NICOLE
Hey…say you thought you saw something happening and it turned out to all be in your imagination?
SASHA INTERVIEW
You don’t think she knows about the time I imagined I ran Indy…right?
SASHA
Go on…
NICOLE
No, just hypothetically.
SASHA gives NICOLE a serious look.
NICOLE
Fine, I thought Kylie and Trevor were into each other and may have gotten Devin involved to figure it out.
SASHA
Kylie and Trevor? Kylie and anyone here? Yeah right.
NICOLE
I know! But—-
AUSTIN
Uh…guys? I think Benny called Anchorage before I could.
Everyone is silent.
AUSTIN
Anchorage knows all about Benny being mad and I didn’t say a word until now.
BENNY suddenly approaches the group.
BENNY
I’m leaving for the night. Let’s all take a deep breath and remember next week might be better, maybe.
AUSTIN INTERVIEW
Wasn’t he just mad at me?
BLAKE
Hey, Bridgeport is up!
BENNY
Also, everyone please remember that if you’re on a video call, you have to shut it off or the people who are on that call will still hear everything that’s being said in the office. We don’t need anybody tracking us. Good night.
BENNY leaves.
SASHA INTERVIEW
Benny still doesn’t realize you guys are sending this to the board, does he?
TREVOR
I should get going too, I promised my girlfriend I’d take her to see a movie after work.
NICOLE buries her face in her hands.
NICOLE INTERVIEW
Sometimes I’m wrong. Today was beyond one of those days.