Marietta is in her hotel room talking with her team.
Marietta: Today’s the day.
Tammy: It is, indeed, the day.
Marietta: I’m nervous. There aren’t many polls of all the individual states, we could end up losing a lot of momentum tonight.
Karen: Yeah, that’s why they call it “Super Tuesday.” It’s not meant to be a cakewalk, it’s a battle. Luckily, we’re well-positioned to win the battle. The South is our home turf, and Super Tuesday is packed with Southern states. Alabama, Arkansas, North Carolina, Tennessee, Texas and Virginia are all voting today. You run the table there - aside from Virginia, because Washington’ll win that one - you are off to a hefty lead in the delegate race to coincide with the healthy polling lead.
Marietta: But what if I fall flat?
Karen: There’s that “what if?” I don’t need to hear it! You are gonna get it done.
Amy: We’ve campaigned very hard. We left it all on the table.
Marietta: That means if I lose, it’s my fault! It’s on me!
Amy: It’d be on the voters for being stupid for not voting for you.
Marietta: I appreciate that sentiment, actually.
Tammy: The South isn’t even our only option here. We went all-in on Massachusetts during our single campaign day there, and we blanketed the state in ads. We did a lot in California, Tammy Koobach endorsed you, and that’ll boost you big time in Minnesota. A few states are completely off the table, but we’re well-positioned in a lot of others.
Marietta: That doesn’t make me less nervous! Polls are wrong all the time, what if my lead is a mirage?
Karen: There aren’t any signs of that, and tonight, we’ll know for sure. You’re the frontrunner, and the others can’t do anything to stop that.
Henrietta: You need to stop being so unsure of yourself. You’re a star! You have no reason to doubt that you’re winning big tonight.
Marietta: I appreciate you saying that. It’s hard for me, sometimes, to think of myself as a genuine frontrunner for the presidency. I’ve never imagined it would happen for me, certainly not after I got blown away in my last Senate race.
Tammy: I can’t believe we’re here, either. I remember sitting with you in your Senate office, you eating my cheesecake that you stole from me, just absolutely gutted over your loss. I thought we were done. You gave us a reason not to be. You kept us in the fight. Look at us now!
Amy: It could’ve been me! Dammit!
Marietta: Keep telling yourself that!
Karen: All right, gals. On that note, we have a busy day of campaign stops. North Carolina, Alabama, Texas, Minnesota and California all in one day.
Marietta: I’m gonna die.
Karen: You’re not, but, you are going to want to.
Marietta: You have a way with words.
Karen: I appreciate that.
Later that day…
Marietta: Karen, where even are we?
Karen: Minnesota. We’ve got two more campaign events and then you can rest.
Marietta: What time is it?
Karen: Four central. Polls close in Vermont and Virginia in two hours.
Marietta: Oh my god. I’ve never experienced anything like this before in my entire life. Four o’clock and I’m ready to drop dead.
Amy: Most people haven’t run for president before, you’re really not alone here.
Marietta: I’m just so overwhelmed. And exhausted.
Henrietta: Most people would be. The body is not meant to travel across the country, stopping in five different states for you to give a speech in each one. That would tire anyone out.
Tammy: Even someone not super old like us!
Amy: Yeah, I’m all tuckered out and I even took a nap!
Tammy: When did you do that?
Amy: I don’t want to offend Marietta.
Marietta: During my speech?
Amy: I can neither confirm nor deny.
Tammy: To be fair, it was the third time today we watched you give that speech.
Marietta: Is it time for me to give my speech yet?
Karen: Soon, Koobach’s still going.
Marietta: Are we running early? I thought we’d have to ask her to stretch the speech out, if anything.
Karen: Shockingly, a bit. We’re making good time. Oh, also, please remember we are in Minneapolis. You said “Hello, Dallas” at the Austin rally/
Marietta: I did? Why did no one tell me?
Karen: It wouldn’t have been prudent. Hey, don’t forget, your family is supposed to meet us here before we fly out to California. They were campaigning in Colorado and Oklahoma for you today. And Kate was in Arkansas.
Amy: Who all is meeting us?
Marietta: My parents, Milton and his family, Kyle and Maria, and I think Kate, but she might just fly out to Cali instead.
Tammy: No Ellie?
Marietta: She has the flu.
Tammy: And Kate doesn’t? They’re joined at the hip, how’d she avoid catching that?
Marietta: I don’t know, but maybe I’ll avoid hugging her when I see her.
Karen: All right, I think you can go out.
Marietta: Koobach is done already?
Karen: Just be happy she said anything at all, no one else would ever want to come to this state at this time of year.
Marietta: All right, I’m off to dazzle a bunch of frozen liberals.
Karen: Have fun!
Marietta walks onto the stage.
Amy: So, how’s it looking? I didn’t want to ask in front of her, she gets stressed enough.
Karen: It’s looking good. Turnout is strong where we need it to be, I’ve been texting with some of the heads of outreach in the states voting today, and they’re all saying things look a bit better than we expected. The only state worrying me is Colorado, it’s not looking competitive. Neither is Virginia, but Washington has such a home field advantage there and he’s a non-factor otherwise. Him getting a win does nothing to hurt us, because we’ll still finish ahead of Baum and Ross. Today’s going to go down as a massive win for us.
Tammy: How much of a win are we talking here?
Karen: No one that’s rational and unbiased will be able to deny we’re the frontrunners after tonight.
Tammy: So that’s it? Marietta gets to be president? Feels anticlimactic.
Karen: No, we still have a campaign to run. And we’re gonna do just that. Up until the nomination is ours, we push head.
Amy: Can I go take another nap?
Tammy: How much do you need to sleep in one day? Can’t you just sleep on the plane?
Amy: I need to be awake for the results!
Henrietta: I think I’m gonna nap, too. Long day.
Karen: Why don’t you all just nap then?
Tammy: Might as well.
Karen: I was kidding!
Tammy: I wasn’t.
Thirty minutes later…
Patty Lynn: Pardon us for being so late! We wanted to fly in to catch Marietta’s speech, but we’re late.
Milton: I beat you here!
Kathleen: Oklahoma is closer than Colorado!
Milton: The flight time is just about the same. Nice try, though.
Moira: And you guys left earlier.
Martin: We had to sit on the tarmac for a while. There was an issue with the plane.
Kathleen: Patty Lynn damn near yanked us off the plane.
Henrietta: I can understand that. Planes scare me.
Milton: Well, thank god we all flew in here to Minnesota just so we can then all fly in to California together.
Amy: Marietta wants us to all watch the results together. I understand why, this is the biggest day of her campaign.
Milton: I’m nervous. I’ve seen Super Tuesday make new frontrunners and destroy previous ones.
Martin: Don’t say that around her, she has enough to stress about today.
Marietta: Don’t say what around who?
Martin: Nothing! Hi, how are you?
Marietta: Something smells.
Kathleen: See, Patty Lynn, I told you not to eat that airport shrimp scampi. Smells like garlic and spoiled seafood in here.
Marietta: Didn’t mean it literally.
Kathleen: Oh, well, I did.
Marietta: Are you guys talking about me?
Patty Lynn: It’s just a big day, we’re all nervous.
Tammy: I see what she means about the scampi, lord.
Marietta: Why are you nervous?
Karen: Did someone say nervous? No one’s nervous. We’re all very excited for tonight, it’s gonna be big! No nerves!
Marietta: You guys are allowed to be nervous, you know. I am, too. Just because I’m optimistic doesn’t mean a small part of me isn’t nervous.
Amy: You were a lot more nervous this morning, actually.
Marietta: Yeah, I was. I don’t want to sound conceited, but once I saw those crowds in Alabama and Texas and wherever, I really got confident. That crowd out there was electric, Tammy Koobach is an absolute doll for all the help she’s given me in this state.
Karen: I’m glad we’re all jazzed as hell and ready for victory. Now, let’s get in the car, get to the airport, and get to California.
Marietta: Jazzed as hell?
Martin: That sounds like something you would say, actually.
Marietta: Don’t put that evil on me.
Sarah: You mean we have to leave already? I wanted to see Minnesota.
Patty Lynn: We’ll take a trip here over the summer then. Let’s go.
Two hours later…
Announcer: This is The Spin Zone, with Dan Freberg and Maggie Ember.
Dan: Hello and welcome to a very special edition of The Spin Zone, I’m Dan Freberg. it’s seven PM on the East coast, and polls have closed in two of the fifteen contests tonight in the long-awaited Super Tuesday, as the four leading Democratic candidates for president duke it out to claim frontrunner status.
Maggie: Heading into tonight, New Orleans mayor Marietta Landfield has the lead in the delegate race, having won the Iowa caucus and South Carolina primary, two key early contests in the primary schedule. She has boasted the support of both high-profile celebrities and influential labor unions. Connecticut Senator Eleanor Baum hopes that her victory in New Hampshire’s primary and her strong New England ties will lead to momentum in tonight’s primaries. Senator Jenny Ross of Nevada, the only candidate in the race from a western state, is hoping to prove that her victory in her home state’s caucus was no fluke. Virginia Senator Andrew Washington is hoping for his first win of this campaign, with the primary in his own home state on the line.
Dan: We have our first results of the night, as polls have closed in Vermont and Virginia.
Marietta: Here we go.
Karen: Remember, we don’t need to win, we just need to keep from being blown away.
Maggie: In Vermont, Eleanor Baum is the projected winner of the state’s Democratic primary, in what is expected to be a comfortable victory, with Marietta Landfield in second.
Dan: In Virginia, it is too early to call. Andrew Washington leads, with just 2% of the vote reporting, and Marietta Landfield is in second. Of note, none of the vote so far is from the highly-populated and deeply blue Northern Virginia, and is from the Hampton Roads area, where Washington served as a state legislator and business owner prior to his election as governor.
Marietta: Karen, is that… good?
Karen: It’s so early. You don’t want to start 0-2, but it doesn’t look like Ross is making an impact, that’s good. It’s you and Baum now.
Patty Lynn: You sound nervous.
Karen: I’m not. We were always long-shirts in both of these states, and we even could win Virginia. We’ll know more in an hour or so. Or even a half-hour, when North Carolina closes.
Mitch: I hope you win North Carolina after you started the day out there with Kate.
Amy: Is Texas still looking good?
Karen: I really, uh… I don’t know.
Kathleen: You sound very confident.
Karen: I’m as confident as I can be. You never count your chickens before they hatch.
Kathleen: I can respect that.
One hour later…
Marietta: All right, this is go time.
Dan: Viewers, it is the hour you’ve been waiting for. Poll closures in six more states, plus updates on two states previously labeled too early to call.
Maggie: In Alabama, Marietta Landfield is the projected winner, with Andrew Washington in second.
Karen: Yes! We are on the board!
Tammy: Wasn’t that supposed to be one of our easiest wins?
Karen: Win’s a win!
Dan: In Maine, Eleanor Baum is the projected winner, with a tight battle for second between Marietta Landfield and Jenny Ross.
Karen: We always expected that.
Marietta: We should easily be above Ross.
Karen: We might be, it’s very early.
Maggie: In Massachusetts, it is too close to call, with Eleanor Baum and Marietta Landfield locked in a tight battle. Senate Majority Whip Ellie Wilson was all-in for her friend, Mayor Landfield, and it may boost her to an upset with on Baum’s home turf.
Dan: It’s incredibly difficult to see ma path forward for Baum if she can’t sweep New England.
Karen: See! All is going well!
Marietta: Can we actually win it?
Karen: From all I’ve heard, it’s going to be incredibly tight.
Patty Lynn: Sounds like a yes to me!
Dan: In Oklahoma, Marietta Landfield is the projected winner in a clear victory, with no obvious runner-up.
Maggie: It’s a closer race in Tennessee, but we can still project Marietta Landfield as the winner, with Andre Washington again running second in a deep south state.
Dan: Polls in Texas counties in the Mountain time zone are still open for another hour, but the rest of the state is closed, and it is too early to call. No clear leader as of yet.
Marietta: Is that good?
Karen: It’s not bad. They’re being cautious, doesn’t mean anything and for us.
Martin: We were there last week, there was a lot of enthusiasm for you. You can do it.
Marietta: Thank you, dad.
Dan: We’re also revisiting Virginia, which had a voting tabulation error that delayed most results for about half an hour. With 62% of the vote in now, we can project it as Andrew Washington’s first win of the primary.
Maggie: We’re actually going live to Andrew Washington in Virginia, where he is holding a rally. Let’s catch the end of his remarks
Marietta: Is that legal? Equal time?
Karen: He’s not a threat. Let him be.
Andrew: Virginia, this campaign has been an incredible ride. As I said, your support means the absolute world to me. To win this commonwealth as a candidate for president is a deep honor I’ll always treasure. However, today’s results are not what we were hoping for, and make it clear now is not my time. I am suspending my campaign for the presidency tonight, and thank the three wonderful women still in the race for making it clear just how bright this party’s future is. I will not endorse a candidate at this time, but I am open to talking with the campaigns. Please, continue to dream of a better tomorrow!
Patty Lynn: And then there were three!
Milton: I have to say, Andrew’s a good guy. I would’ve supported him if Marietta weren’t in this race.
Marietta: Since Tammy won’t do it, I really think he’d be a good running mate.
Karen: We can certainly vet him.
Amy: Didn’t we promise Bassar to consider him as VP?
Karen: We’re considering it. That doesn’t mean it has to be him.
Henrietta: I’ll tell you one thing, it’s sure gonna be a man!
Kyle: Let’s not jinx anything.
Henrietta: This is over.
Maria: Super Tuesday isn’t even over, let alone the entire primary.
Marietta: Yeah, I agree. We’ve only really gotten results from sites we didn’t expect to be competitive. Let’s see how I do in the close ones once more results come in before we start mentally decorating the Oval Office.
One hour later…
Dan: We have more poll closings at this moment in two critical states, and we can tell you very little!
Maggie: Both Colorado and Minnesota are too early to call at this moment, though Ross and Landfield are expected to lead in the respective states.
Dan: We do, however, finally have a call on North Carolina, home of Senate Majority Leader Kate Hagelin. Marietta Landfield is the projected winner in what is the largest prize to be called so far tonight. It joins Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma and Tennessee as the fifth southern state to be won by Landfield tonight.
Maggie: We’ve also got an update on Massachusetts, with 53% of the vote reporting, Marietta Landfield leads with 39%. Eleanor Baum is just behind at 37%, making it clear this contest will likely not be called until the early hours of tomorrow.
Amy: Still pretty good for us, they said we couldn’t win it! They said campaigning there with Ellie was wasting our time!
Marietta: Showed them!
Sarah: Thank you, Dunkin’!
Dan: We’ve also got an update on Texas. With 32% of the vote reporting, it is still too early to call, but Marietta Landfield boasts a substantive lead that has only increased with the recent vote drop from Dallas.
Maggie: A win in Texas, which many said could go any way due to how hard each campaign focused on it, would be a massive moral victory for the Landfield campaign, solidifying their frontrunner status.
Karen: We’re touching down, folks. En route to our last campaign event of the day!
Marietta: Hallelujah.
Tammy: You should’ve slept. Did you sleep?
Marietta: I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
Tammy: That’s a no.
Thirty minutes later…
Karen: They just called Minnesota for us. No one cheer too loud, we don’t need Marietta to hear and get distracted.
Patty Lynn: Woohoo!
Karen: I shouldn’t have told you.
Patty Lynn: I’m sorry, that one’s just so exciting.
Kate: I’m so glad today’s gone so well. I just about cried when I saw the North Carolina and Arkansas calls. I don’t know how much I had to do with those, but I did what I could.
Tammy: You were critical in North Carolina, Washington was clipping at our heels until you swept in with an endorsement.
Kate: Always happy to help!
Martin: Am I foolish for starting to feel hope?
Tammy: No, this night is going as well as we could’ve realistically expected it to go. Feel all the hope you want, tonight has been great for us.
Moira: I am choosing to feel the audacity of hope!
Henrietta: Have we heard anything from the last few states?
Karen: Nothing major. Rumblings of a close race in California, a likely Ross victory in Utah.
Patty Lynn: Damn Mormons!
Kathleen: More like morons, am I right?
Tammy: Oh, let’s… let’s not.
Kathleen: Yeah, I regretted that as soon as I said it.
Later that night…
Dan: We have a call from the key state of Texas. Marietta Landfield is the projected winner, she is about 6% ahead of Eleanor Baum with 15% left reporting.
Maggie: As we said before, that’s a major pickup for the Landfield team.
Dan: It’s not a clean sweep for Landfield, as we can also now project Colorado for Jenny Ross, her second win of the night, after a landslide win in Utah, which is .
Marietta: I never liked John Denver anyway!
Patty Lynn: They’re all just high there, anyway. They don’t know what they’re voting for.
Henrietta: I know we’re not being recorded, but we’re gonna have to start refraining from these problematic comments. We can’t risk a leak.
Dan: We also have an update on Massachusetts, which remains too close to call, with Landfield narrowly ahead by what is currently less than a point, with 93% of polls reporting.
Maggie: It’s important to note that Barnstable County - Cape Cod - is where much of the remaining vote is from. That county is just 10% reporting right now due to an error with voting machines. Landfield has a 14% lead in the county from what little has been reported. Obviously the difference in delegates won doesn’t differ all that much with a win of less than 1%, but they have to feel fairly comfortable about winning the delegates that come with carrying a state, considering that what’s left is seemingly friendly territory.
Kyle: A win is a win! I am so proud of you after everything that’s happened tonight.
Maggie: We have also just received the full results from American Samoa, which as a small territory has just six delegates up for grabs. Jenny Ross was one of the few candidates to advertise in the territory, and it has paid off with a win there. She will be awarded four delegates for her efforts, with one each for Landfield and Baum.
Marietta: Well, that’s ruined the night!
Tammy: Not American Samoa!
Karen: I’m hearing there won’t be any call in California for several days due to how close it is and how many ballots have to be processed yet, so aside from Massachusetts, that’s all we’re going to hear for tonight.
Marietta: Seven wins, maybe eight, nine if we’re lucky. I’ll take that!
Karen: Yeah, we’re flying up to Washington tomorrow, so we might as well all rest up!
Marietta: Shut up!
Patty Lynn: No one’s going to bed before the champagne! A huge victory warrants a celebratory drink!
Amy: Just what we need, for Marietta to be exhausted AND hung over tomorrow!
Patty Lynn: Come on, just one drink! I think today warrants that!
Marietta: I would agree!
Martin: To our next president!
Kathleen: Unless America is again unable to overcome their sexism and bigotry…
Martin: Kathleen!
Kathleen: Sorry…
What did you think of this episode of Marietta? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
