Teri walks out of work and gets into her car.
Teri: Ah, what a day. Thank god it’s finally over.
Teri turns the key and the car doesn’t start.
Teri: That isn’t good.
Teri pulls out her phone and calls Karl.
Teri: Dad?
Karl: What’s going on, kiddo?
Teri: I’m in a bind.
Karl: What have you done now?
Teri: I haven’t done anything! My car, though…
Karl: Did you get hit?
Teri: No, it’s just not starting. I need someone to pick me up.
Karl: I’ll be over, I’ll see if I can jump it. It could just be the battery. It could also be -
Teri: No, don’t!
Karl: It’s a very old car, it’s not that reliable.
Teri: The car’s fine! She just needs some TLC.
Karl: Either way, I’ll be there. I just have to stop for gas first.
Teri: Why?
Karl: I’d rather not have two cars down.
Teri: That’s a good reason.
Thirty minutes later…
Karl: Okay, you’re not gonna like this.
Teri: I can’t dislike it more than having to wait in the parking lot of my job for a half-hour.
Karl: Oh, you can. I can’t jump it, and that means there’s a worse, more serious issue with the car.
Teri: Of course.
Karl: You’re going to have to get it towed.
Teri: Towed? Velma’s not gonna like this.
Karl: Velma’s going to have to suck it up.
Teri: I like the sassy attitude.
Karl: I don’t know if “sass” is the right word.
Teri: No, it definitely is, and I admire it. Velma’s cheapness deserves to be mocked. Mitchell’s, too.
Karl: Do you have Triple A?
Teri: Is that a hemorrhoid cream?
Karl: No, a membership with AAA, the American Automobile Association.
Teri: Oh… no, I do not.
Karl: Well I do, and I have my card, so I can just use that. Our mechanic’s only a few miles away, that’ll cover it.
Teri: Is my car going to be okay?
Karl: Has it ever been? Since you got it, at least?
Teri: I love that car!
Karl: I know you do, and it’s served you well. Just something to think about.
Teri: I will never part with that car!
Karl: We can discuss that later, let’s just get it to the shop so we can get home.
Teri: Sounds like a plan to me.
One hour later…
Cindy: Finally, they’re back!
Danielle: What’s going on with the car?
Teri: Does the entire family know?
Ralph: What happens in this house without all of the rest of us finding out within moments?
Teri: That’s a good point.
Betty: So how’s the car? I didn’t see it pull in the driveway.
Teri: Gosh, you’re all nosy! The car’s at the shop, whatever it is that’s wrong with it, it’s worse than needing to jump the battery. They said they’ll take a look at it tomorrow.
Betty: Tomorrow? Why not today?
Teri: It’s after five. I can’t exactly force them to stay at work once they’re ready to go home.
Betty: I would.
Ralph: We know.
Cindy: Do you have anyone to drive you to work tomorrow?
Tammi: She can borrow my car, it’s not like I'll need it.
Teri: I really appreciate that, thank you. You saved me from having to be dropped off at work by mom tomorrow.
Betty: What would be so wrong with that?
Teri: Do I really need to elaborate?
Cindy: None of us need you to, mom looks confused though.
Betty: Did I fo
Two days later…
Tammi: Hey, aunt Teri, no pressure, I don’t need it back at any set time, but do you know how much longer you’re going to need my car? It’s no rush, but I’m just curious.
Teri: Can I be honest?
Tammi: That never means anything good.
Teri: Tammi, I’m really upset.
Tammi: Oh boy. Sit down, we’ll talk about it.
Betty: Ooh, what are we talking about?
Teri: Oh god.
Jerry: I heard an “oh god” from Teri, Betty must be doing something irritating.
Betty: I would never!
Jerry: Agree to disagree.
Teri: We might as well just turn this into a family meeting at this point.
Tammi: Works for me. Frank! Steven!
Teri: I wasn’t really - never mind, let’s do it. I’ll air out my dirty laundry for the whole family.
Ralph: Sounds like a day ending in “Y” to me!
Ten minutes later…
Teri: We all good?
Mitchell: Just let me finish pouring my fruit punch.
Frank: Can you get me a snack while you’re in there? Any snack, it doesn’t matter.
Tammi: Your stomach!
Frank: What can I say, I’m hungry!
Teri: You guys are fueling up like you’re heading into a three-hour movie! I’ll be talking for, like, five minutes tops.
Velma: Mitchell can’t go that long without eating or drinking something. If he’s not shoving something down his throat, he’s talking, and nobody wants that.
Danielle: Could we get to the thing that required a family meeting, please? I don’t have anywhere to be, or anything to do, I’d just rather not be here.
Velma: Join the club!
Cindy: As if you’d ever pass up on a free opportunity for gossip. You’d show up to the opening of an envelope if the envelope had any even mildly-tepid gossip inside of it.
Velma: That is patently untrue.
Cindy: It’s the truest thing that will ever be said within these walls.
Steven: I have a date with Alysa tonight, I would appreciate wrapping this up by seven.
Ralph: It’s only four.
Steven: You’re in this family, you know how long theses can take.
Danielle: I can’t believe the kid’s got a better love life than I do.
Teri: So, if I’m allowed to talk -
Jerry: Why would’t you be allowed? You’re the one that called the meeting!
Teri: I really didn’t, but also, you just cut me off, so -
Jerry: I would never do that.
Teri: You just did it aga-
Jerry: I don’t think I did.
Teri: You know what? Meeting adjourned.
Betty: No, just tell us. He’ll shut up eventually, even Frank eventually learns how to behave.
Frank: I always behave!
Betty: Sure you do.
Teri: Again, I don’t really see this as major news that required a family meeting, but I have been forced into it. The auto shop called me up today, and they told me a whole bunch of things wrong with the the car that I didn’t understand, but the long story short is that they were upfront and honest with me that the cost to repair it is more than it’s worth. They said it did start for them one time, and then it wouldn’t start later. So the car is still usable, but not reliably. They left it up to me to decide whether I want them to work on it or not. I don’t know what to do.
Cindy: You don’t want to keep breaking down and having to get a ride from someone, do you?
Teri: I don’t.
Jerry: It’s a good thing Tammi turned this into a family meeting, you clearly need all the advice you can get.
Ralph: I don’t drive, so I can’t be of much assistance here.
Mitchell: I do drive, so I’ll just say this: get a new car. It’s not worth the hassle, just get a new one.
Teri: That car means so much to me!
Tammi: I get what you mean, we spend so much time in our cars, we grow attached to them. They’re safe, they feel comfortable.
Teri: In my case, it was my grandfather’s car.
Cindy: Yes, we all know, you’re the one he left it to, no need to rub it in.
Ralph: A 1996 Dodge Stratus, now that’s a prize!
Cindy: it was a good car at the time.
Jerry: It was ten years old already. Kind of outdated.
Mitchell: Yeah, you’ve had what, six cars since then? Velma would never let me get that many!
Velma: It’s why we lease. You keep the car until the lease is up, then you trade it in and get a new one. Win-win.
Teri: This car just means too much to me to get rid of it. If I can fix it, that would be less than buying a new one. Of course, they did say there was no guarantee they’d be able to actually fix it. It could seem like it’s running fine and then just stop all over again.
Jerry: Let me get this straight… the body shop told you it’s worth less than the cost to repair, and that they may not even be able to actually repair it entirely. And you’re still not sure what to do?
Karl: I think she knows what to do, it just hurts.
Teri: I don’t know what to do! I can’t part with it. It’s one of the only things I have left of him.
Steven: Can I say something?
Teri: You can go to your girlfriend if you want.
Steven: No, it involves cars, I’m invested now.
Teri: Okay! Let’s hear it.
Steven: It’s just a car. Your grandfather’s not part of the car. He wouldn’t want you to drive a car that’s not reliable. He’d want you to be safe and not have to worry about getting stranded in a car that won’t start.
Teri: I appreciate the candor. I just… it’s so hard. I remember the day he told me he was leaving it to me. We knew he was dying, we knew he didn’t have long left, and he was trying to leave all of us something to remember him by. I got the car, because he knew that of all the things he owned, that was what I needed. It was my first real car. Before that, I drove mom’s second car, the hunk of junk that kept breaking down.
Jerry: Sounds familiar!
Teri: My car is not a hunk of junk!
Jerry: It’s seeming like one. It doesn’t always run when you want it to. It’s practically worthless.
Teri: It’s not worthless to me!
Betty: Kiddo. Can I say something?
Teri: Oh boy.
Betty: Your grandfather loved you so much. Like Steven said, he’d want you to be safe. He’d want you to drive a reliable car. He’d be happy to know you got twenty years out of that car. It was good to you. It owes you nothing. Sometimes, we just have to move on.
Teri: I know.
Jerry: So what are you going to do?
Velma: You could still sell it.
Teri: Can I?
Velma: People are willing to buy cars like this and take a chance on them if the price is right. You can use that money and put it to a new car. A reliable one.
Danielle: Based on that garage sale we had once, I feel like Velma has experience selling things that are broken and worthless.
Velma: That’s a low blow!
Danielle: But one I had to take.
Teri: I just don’t know how to turn the keys over to someone else, to say goodbye to it forever. It’s going to be so hard. I grew up with that car! It’s been around for as long as I can remember.
Karl: It’ll be okay. It’s had a good life.
Jerry: I just can’t believe we’re all standing around practically memorializing a car.
Teri: It wasn’t just a car, it was family!
Frank: Vin Diesel, is that you?
Teri: Shut up, Frank!
Karl: Would it help if I went with you to look at new cars?
Teri: It would.
Ralph: So are you selling the old car? I’m still not clear on where we settled on this.
Teri: I’m selling it. It breaks my heart, but it must be done. I need a real car.
Tammi: Just circling back to my car… how long are you going to need it for?
Teri: I’m going to pick up the car tonight if someone will take me. Hopefully, it won’t give me trouble until after dad and I can go look for a new car. You can have your car back now.
Tammy: You sure?
Teri: Yeah, I’m good. I don’t mind gambling.
Ralph: I can put the car online for sale once you get me some pictures. We can get that ball rolling.
Teri: This is happening so fast! But I’ll do it. It has to be done, rip that bandage off!
One week later..
Jerry: So, Teri, how’s the new car?
Teri: It’s incredible. I forgot cars can go over 60 miles an hour!
Betty: When were you going over 60? There aren’t any roads around here with speed limits higher than that!
Teri: Oh, nowhere. It was just exaggeration.
Betty: Oh, right. God it!
Cindy: Your car has a real sleek design, too. It’s nice.
Teri: I figure, I’ll have this car until I’m a senior citizen. Might as well get one that I can live with until then!
Velma: You didn’t lease?
Teri: No, this is my first new car ever, I don’t want to have to turn it back in in a few years.
Velma: You could buy it when the lease is up.
Teri: Then what would be the point of leasing it?
Velma: That’s a good point.
Tammi: I’m glad you like your new car. I know how hard it’s been to part with your old one, being from pop-pop and all.
Teri: It wasn’t easy, but now that I have this new car and I’m enjoying it and I feel safe in it and I’m used to it, it’s going to be much easier to turn that car over.
Ralph: Good, because someone sent a message asking to see the car in person.
Teri: No!
Betty: Teri…
Teri: Okay, fine. We’ll set it up.
Steven: Good, because Anita’s been threatening an emergency HOA meeting about the car parked in our yard.
Teri: It’s none of her business!
Cindy: This is the end of an era. Every car in our driveway is going to look road safe and presentable. No more cars that would fit in at a demolition derby.
Ralph: Actually, this person said they work with a demolition derby, that’s why they’re interested.
Teri: No, they can not have it! We’ll wait for someone else to show interest!
Cindy: Ralph had to go an open his big mouth! Idiot!
Ralph: You’re the one who reminded me about the demolition derby!
Teri: Don’t worry, it’s a great car at a great price. It’ll be gone soon enough.
Danielle: I think it looks nice in the yard anyway, it adds character.
What did you think of this episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!
