GARRY
Alright everyone, eat up!
COOPER
We’re not gonna sit today?
GARRY
No complaining. Our vendor was reluctant enough to do this when he heard the bench isn’t heated.
HUDSON
Our parents made this food.
GARRY
Not the cotton candy.
WESLEY
Can I suggest people try my mom’s pumpkin pie?
COLTON
Why, is it good?
WESLEY
That’s for you to decide.
GARRY
Food before pie, you all know that.
SANTIAGO
Shouldn’t someone be batting?
GARRY
Knock yourself out. Thanksgiving is Coach Garry’s favorite holiday so Coach Garry is taking the day off.
BRAYDEN
First off, today is not Thanksgiving. Second, please stop calling yourself Coach Garry, Coach Garry.
WESLEY
Yeah, this seems like something you would’ve done at your old gig. Not here.
COOPER
What if he’s losing it?
WESLEY
Oh, you could be right. Coach Garry, are you losing it?
GARRY
My doctor said that hasn’t happened. Yet. Now I think it’s time we all line up behind Coach Garry and take some food. Turkey first, cotton candy last. Okay?
GARRY starts taking food.
LANDON
Just so you know, I wouldn’t take the mashed potatoes if I were you. My parents mash them with their feet on the floor.
GARRY
Taking them anyways.
Seeing that SANTIAGO struck out, LANDON walks out of the dugout and goes to bat.
JAXON
Coach Garry, can we play some music?
GARRY
Maybe, what song do you want to hear?
JAXON
Me.
GARRY
There’s a song called Jaxon? I don’t think so.
JAXON
No, the song is called Me.
GARRY
I’ve heard somewhere between 58 and 79 years worth of songs. If there was a song called Jaxon, I’d know. Just eat some food.
JAXON
But I don’t want any Thanksgiving food.
GARRY
More for me then.
GAVIN
But I want food!
GARRY
I never said you couldn’t have food.
BRAYDEN
Hey Coach Garry, my mom’s walking over to the dugout. You ready to talk to a fellow adult?
BRAYDEN’S MOM
Excuse me Mr. Garry?
GARRY
I am not a teacher.
BRAYDEN’S MOM
I don’t like turkey.
GARRY
Good for you.
BRAYDEN’S MOM walks away and drags BRAYDEN with her.
WESLEY
Nice going Coach Garry, you ruined Thanksgiving.
GARRY
I ruined Thanksgiving? As far as I can tell there’s still plenty of food, dessert, and cotton candy here.
LANDON
Yeah about that, why is there cotton candy?
GARRY
Our vendor wouldn’t make food without it.
LANDON
You said they only made the cotton candy. Which nobody asked for.
GARRY sees the vendor approaching the dugout.
GARRY
I’d be careful about what you say there.
GARRY turns to the vendor.
GARRY
Oh, hey Lorenzo! We’re just all enjoying your cotton candy!
LORENZO
I always wanted to go to a bullpen Thanksgiving.
WESLEY
You’re not in a bullpen.
LORENZO
I know, I know, bull arm pen.
WESLEY
No I mean this is a dugout.
LORENZO
Coach Garry…is this true?
GARRY
Yeah, I told you I’m the coach.
LORENZO
There’s nowhere to sit. In fact, if I wanted to stay I’d have to be flying around!
GARRY
Well, sorry you feel that way.
LORENZO
Good thing I’m only here for the takeout cotton candy.
LORENZO takes most of the cotton candy and leaves.
LANDON
That solves our cotton candy problem. Now we just need to solve the problem where nobody is batting.
GARRY
Shit. We need to get our asses in gear here.
LANDON
Swear words were said and they didn’t come out of my mouth this time!
COLTON
Want to just forfeit this game and enjoy the food?
GARRY
No, we can’t give up.
COLTON
We never started trying.
GARRY sighs and jogs to the umpire.
GARRY
Sorry ump, we forfeit the game.
GARRY jogs back to the dugout.
GARRY
Bad news, we lost the game. Good news, the food is all ours. Dig in everyone!