Our House Season 4 Episode 5 -Our Thanksgiving

Our House Season 4, Episode 5
Our Thanksgiving

Betty and Teri are at the Stop & Save buying groceries.

Betty: Teri, did you see what I just saw on Facebook?

Teri: How can I answer that if you don’t tell me what it is?

Betty: Tammi just sent me an invite for Thanksgiving dinner.
Teri: So? She’s weird like that.

Betty: Teri, she intends to cook it.

Teri: She what?

Betty: I know!

Teri: I only agreed to come to the store with you today so we could get ready for our Thanksgiving cooking!

Betty: That’s the only reason?

Teri: You know I hate the store.

Betty: So do I, but I still buy the groceries.

Teri: And then forget half of what we need, which forces dad to make a trip to the store.

Betty: That’s besides the point. We have to talk to Tammi about this idea of hers.

Teri: In the meantime, though, should we still buy the food for Thanksgiving? I don’t want to buy a turkey if we can’t even make it.

Betty: Oh, we’re making it.

Teri: You’re sure.

Betty: Absolutely positive.

Teri: Just to be safe, I think we can wait on buying the cranberry sauce.

Betty: Are you kidding? Your father and I eat that stuff like crazy! Throw a couple cans in the cart.

Teri: Fine…

One hour later, at the house…

Cindy: Wow, Teri went for groceries! Is the world ending?

Ralph: Hopefully this means we’ll actually have milk this time. Bread, too.

Jerry: What about eggs?

Betty: I’m not that forgetful!

Cindy: You forgot me after a soccer game once. You stayed, watched the game, then left without your own child who was playing in the game.

Betty: That’s probably when you got yourself knocked up.

Cindy: I was twelve, so, no.

Tammi: What are you guys arguing about now?

Cindy: We’re not arguing, we’re just poking fun at one another.

Betty: Tammi, Teri and I need to talk to you.

Teri: I’m trying to bring in the groceries, mother.

Karl: I can get them.

Velma: Mitchell can, too.

Ralph: Velma, Mitchell is at work.

Velma: He what?

Ralph: I know, it’s very easy to forget.

Velma: How did I not know he was at work today? That’s far too shocking for me to forget.

Teri: So, is someone else going to help with the groceries or should dad and I finish up?

Frank: I can do it.

Teri: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but thank you, Frank!

Frank: I surprise you guys every once in a while!

Teri: You gotta carry your weight somehow.

Betty: So are we going to have that talk?

Teri: Now that I’ve found a few pack mules to carry my groceries in, sure.

Betty, Tammi and Teri sit down on the living room couch.

Tammi: I’m a bit afraid to ask, but I’m going to anyway. What’s going on?

Betty: Well, Marvin Gaye, I’m a bit concerned.

Frank: My god, Teri. What did you get at the store? Hollywood blocks?

Teri: Oh, come on, Frank! You know I would never buy coastal elite blocks. I only get my cement blocks from America’s heartland.

Tammi: What are you concerned about today? There’s always something new.

Cindy: Tammi, don’t talk about to your grandmother like that.

Jerry: She’s right, though.

Cindy: But she shouldn’t say it!

Betty: I got your Thanksgiving invite on Facebook.

Tammi: Oh, you got it? I thought it was funny.

Betty: Funny? So you’re not really doing Thanksgiving?

Tammi: No, I am. I just thought it would be funny to send you a Facebook invite when we all live in the same house.

Betty: So here’s the thing… Teri, you tell her.

Teri: Me?

Betty: You like conflict!

Danielle: She does.

Teri: I don’t like it, I’m just not afraid of it.

Tammi: What do you want to tell me? You want to make the green bean casserole? Go ahead, I hate the stuff.

Velma: Based on what’s being brought in the house right now, I have a pretty good idea of what she’s going to say.

Betty: So spit it out, Teri.

Teri: Tammi, your grandmother feels hurt by you deciding that you’re doing Thanksgiving this year.

Tammi: She what?

Teri: Mom, I think you should really express your feelings yourself. You can help her understand better than I can.

Tammi: I’m completely lost, so some clarity would be delightful.

Betty: I make Thanksgiving dinner every year, you know that. It’s something I’ve always done and I plan on continuing to do.

Danielle: I think we should probably leave the room now.

Velma: And miss this?

Betty: I don’t understand why you wouldn’t even ask me before you decided you were taking ti over.

Tammi: I asked you a few weeks ago if I could do it this year. You nodded and said “yeah.”

Betty: I think we both know I was not listening to you.

Tammi: I didn’t know! Why would you respond to someone if you didn’t hear a word they said?

Betty: I didn’t want to be rude.

Tammi: I think ignoring me is a lot ruder than asking me to repeat myself.

Betty: Agree to disagree.

Teri: Is there any way to solve this?

Betty: Tammi can let me carry on with tradition.

Tammi: I already bought food to make.

Betty: So did I.

Tammi: For some reason, I’m not surprised.

Cindy: I know I’m not involved in the conversation, but I have an idea.

Teri: This should be good.

Cindy: I won’t say it if you’re just going to be mean.

Tammi: Please say it. We’re listening.

Cindy: How about you make Thanksgiving dinner together. Mom, you always complain about how much work it is. Now you’ll have someone to help take some of the burden off.

Tammi: I though we were going to do it together. Are you okay if you don’t do it with me?

Cindy: Are you kidding me? Do I mind doing less cooking? Of course not!

Tammi: Well, I’m glad you’re so eager to give it up. Grandma, would that work for you?

Betty: I’m not used to sharing the Thanksgiving cooking duties, but if this is my only way to keep doing it at all, I think it could be fun.

Teri: I helped you last year.

Betty: Did you?

Teri: I did!

Velma: Betty, didn’t you kick her out of the kitchen last year?

Betty: That is exactly what I did. She was getting in my way.

Ralph: I’m a cook. Why does no one ever ask me to make dinner?

Cindy: Do you really want to be stuck in a kitchen with mom?

Ralph: No, I’m just curious.

Tammi: You can make a pie if you want.

Betty: No, I want to make the pie! You know how much I love making pie.

Ralph: Make the pie, mom. I’m good.

Tammi: I have a question for you. 

Ralph: For me?

Tammi: No, for grandma.

Velma: She’s quite popular.

Teri: In fairness, the three of us were supposed to be having a private conversation, but some people have no regard for privacy.

Karl: You did decide to have the conversation out in the open.

Teri: Don’t defend them, dad.

Karl: Sorry, I’ll stay out of it.

Betty: I’m sorry they’re so rude and interrupt us. What’s your question?

Tammi: Since you bought food already for Thanksgiving, could we maybe use that? I’ll reimburse you for it. I just don’t feel like going to the grocery story to fight over a turkey when we have one already.

Teri: No, Tammi. We have two.

Tammi: Two?

Teri: You really think one turkey can feed thirteen people?

Tammi: You could have gotten a big one.

Teri: We live in a town of fifteen thousand people. We have three grocery stores. You get what you get.

Cindy: Thankfully we have two ovens.

Tammi: One is in the guest house.

Teri: We’ll make it work.

Betty: Once again, I didn’t get a chance to answer before other people started talking. Yes, you can use our food. I’m not taking any payment for it, though. We’re all eating it just the same.

Tammi: I already stole Thanksgiving from you, I’m not about to take the food you bought without paying you back.

Betty: I’m your grandmother, grandmothers help their grandkids. You are not about to pay me.

Frank: Well, that’s a relief.

Tammi: Frank!

Five days later…

Ralph: Mom, Thanksgiving is tomorrow. When are you making your pumpkin pie?

Betty: Please don’t remind me of that.

Ralph: I have to because, once again, Thanksgiving is tomorrow.

Betty: Are you sure about that?

Ralph: Unless my calendar is wrong, yes, I’m sure.

Betty: I guess I better start making it, then.

Steven: Grandma Betty…

Betty: Yes?

Steven: I have something to confess.

Betty: Well, this should be good.

Steven: I ate the pie crust.

Betty: You did what?

Steven: I was up late working on school work and I got hungry and I remembered that mom told me not to eat any of the food you made for Thanksgiving, so I grabbed something I didn’t think was for Thanksgiving.

Betty: So you ate a plain pie crust?

Steven: Half of it, with some whipped cream.

Betty: Oh, Steven…

Steven: I’m sorry.

Betty: In your defense, it should’ve been turned into a prepared pie already. It’s my fault.

Steven: So you’re not mad?

Betty: I didn’t say that.

Steven: Have I ruined Thanksgiving?

Ralph: Have you seen all this food? You did not ruin Thanksgiving. Plus, we still have one left.

Betty: That’s not enough! I’m going to go to the store and getting another crust. What’s another four bucks?

Ralph: Fine by me. Long as I’m not the one that has to pick it up, I couldn’t care less what you do.

Betty: You’re not, don’t worry.

Steven: Do I have to go?

Betty: I should force you to go, but I’m not going to.

Steven: Thank you so much, grandma Betty.

Betty: You’re welcome. Remember, I’m the fun grandma.

One hour later, at the Stop & Save…

Betty: Excuse me, uh, Josh, where do you have the pie crusts? They’re not in the baking aisle like usual.

Josh: We moved them.

Betty: Well, why in the heck did you do that?

Josh: We put a lot of the Thanksgiving supplies together.

Betty: It wasn’t like that when I was here last week.

Josh: It is now. It’s over by the produce.

Betty: Thank you. I will be giving you positive feedback on the Stop & Survey online.

Betty walks to the produce section.

Betty: Where the hell is the Thanksgiving section?

Anita: Oh lord… Betty Bellwood…

Betty: I’m not thrilled to be seeing you, either.

Anita: What brings you here? You buying bananas for the monkeys in your family?

Betty: I’m here to get an ingredient for my pumpkin pie.

Anita: Why did you just pronounce it as if it’s one word?

Betty: What?

Anita: You said it like “pumpkinpie.”

Betty: That’s how it’s pronounced.

Anita: There’s traditionally a pause between “pumpkin” and “pie.”

Betty: You and your silly ways!

Anita: I hope it’s not pie crust, because that’s what I need.

Betty: You’re telling me that THE Anita DeFleur, the perfect HOA President, uses pre-made pie crust?

Anita: I’m too busy running the HOA to use fresh crust. You don’t have the same excuse, you do nothing all day.

Betty: You run the HOA. I run a store!

Anita: Is that what you’re calling it?

Betty spots the pie crust on the shelf and reaches forward to grab it.

Anita: Not so fast!

Anita grabs the crust.

Betty: I saw it first!

Anita: I was here first!

Betty grabs the crust from Anita’s grasp.

Anita: Oh, not so fast!

Betty runs to the checkout.

Betty: I’m sorry to be rude, I need you to check me out quickly.

Cashier: Okay.

Betty: Thank you, I truly appreciate it.

Cashier: Okay.

Betty: Can you say anything else?

Cashier: That’ll be four dollars and eleven cents.

Betty: Of course it will be.

Cashier: Okay.

Anita: I’ll let you have it this time, Betty Bellwood. You look like you need a win.

Betty: I really do, thanks!

The next day…

Mitchell: Wow, this smells so good!

Velma: You think McDonald’s smells good.

Mitchell: Tell me it doesn’t.

Velma: It does, but, still.

Jerry: You two are a good team! Maybe Betty’s Boutique could start selling home-cooked meals.

Velma: Mitchell would eat them all.

Betty: Also, the health department would frown upon it.

Karl: It does look really good though. Not as good as when you made it yourself, though, Betty. Nothing could ever top that.

Betty: Nice save.

Danielle: Can I just say something? It brings me to tears thinking of how well you all treat me. It’s my first Thanksgiving where I won’t even get to speak with my mother, and you’re helping me keep my mind off of it.

Karl: We’re all happy to help. And none of us helped more than Betty and Tammi.

Teri: I made the buns!

Cindy: And you let them burn.

Teri: It’s the most important Bellwood Thanksgiving tradition!

Frank: I believe it’s a Bellwood-Howerton Thanksgiving now!

Jerry: Eh… I hope you’re not married to that name.

Frank: You’re right, it doesn’t sound right.

Tammi: No matter what happens, it’ll always be a Betty Bellwood Thanksgiving.

Betty: I really appreciate that, because I’m fairly convinced that I committed assault in order to get the crust for the pumpkin pie.

Danielle: I’ve never heard anyone pronounce pumpkin pie quite like that, Betty.

Betty: Oh…

Karl: Dig in, everyone!

Jerry: I have to say grace!

Teri: Ugh…. whyyyyy?

Jerry: I must thank the lord for this feast!

Teri: Thanks god. Dig in, everyone!

Jerry: Do not dig in!

Karl: Just make it quick, Jerry.

Mitchell: Yeah, I’m ready to scarf this down.

Velma: We know.

Jerry: I’m going to say grace now.

Frank: Grace. Let’s eat.

Jerry: Not so fast!

Teri: No one would describe this as “fast.”

Danielle: I don’t know, we’re not eating. We are definitely fasting!

Ten minutes later…

Jerry: Amen.

Mitchell: Finally, we can eat!

Velma: And you can stop drooling!

Betty: Enjoy it, guys! It was quite a fight to get this made.

Tammi: Literally.

What did you think of this episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments, vote in the poll below and make sure to return for a new episode in two weeks!

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