Betty and Teri are at the Stop & Save buying groceries.
Betty: Teri, did you see what I just saw on Facebook?
Teri: How can I answer that if you don’t tell me what it is?
Betty: Tammi just sent me an invite for Thanksgiving dinner.
Betty: Teri, she intends to cook it.
Teri: She what?
Betty: I know!
Teri: I only agreed to come to the store with you today so we could get ready for our Thanksgiving cooking!
Betty: That’s the only reason?
Teri: You know I hate the store.
Betty: So do I, but I still buy the groceries.
Teri: And then forget half of what we need, which forces dad to make a trip to the store.
Betty: That’s besides the point. We have to talk to Tammi about this idea of hers.
Teri: In the meantime, though, should we still buy the food for Thanksgiving? I don’t want to buy a turkey if we can’t even make it.
Betty: Oh, we’re making it.
Teri: You’re sure.
Betty: Absolutely positive.
Teri: Just to be safe, I think we can wait on buying the cranberry sauce.
Betty: Are you kidding? Your father and I eat that stuff like crazy! Throw a couple cans in the cart.
Teri: Fine…
One hour later, at the house…
Cindy: Wow, Teri went for groceries! Is the world ending?
Ralph: Hopefully this means we’ll actually have milk this time. Bread, too.
Jerry: What about eggs?
Betty: I’m not that forgetful!
Cindy: You forgot me after a soccer game once. You stayed, watched the game, then left without your own child who was playing in the game.
Betty: That’s probably when you got yourself knocked up.
Cindy: I was twelve, so, no.
Tammi: What are you guys arguing about now?
Cindy: We’re not arguing, we’re just poking fun at one another.
Betty: Tammi, Teri and I need to talk to you.
Teri: I’m trying to bring in the groceries, mother.
Karl: I can get them.
Velma: Mitchell can, too.
Ralph: Velma, Mitchell is at work.
Velma: He what?
Ralph: I know, it’s very easy to forget.
Velma: How did I not know he was at work today? That’s far too shocking for me to forget.
Teri: So, is someone else going to help with the groceries or should dad and I finish up?
Frank: I can do it.
Teri: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but thank you, Frank!
Frank: I surprise you guys every once in a while!
Teri: You gotta carry your weight somehow.
Betty: So are we going to have that talk?
Teri: Now that I’ve found a few pack mules to carry my groceries in, sure.
Betty, Tammi and Teri sit down on the living room couch.
Tammi: I’m a bit afraid to ask, but I’m going to anyway. What’s going on?
Betty: Well, Marvin Gaye, I’m a bit concerned.
Frank: My god, Teri. What did you get at the store? Hollywood blocks?
Teri: Oh, come on, Frank! You know I would never buy coastal elite blocks. I only get my cement blocks from America’s heartland.
Tammi: What are you concerned about today? There’s always something new.
Cindy: Tammi, don’t talk about to your grandmother like that.
Jerry: She’s right, though.
Cindy: But she shouldn’t say it!
Betty: I got your Thanksgiving invite on Facebook.
Tammi: Oh, you got it? I thought it was funny.
Betty: Funny? So you’re not really doing Thanksgiving?
Tammi: No, I am. I just thought it would be funny to send you a Facebook invite when we all live in the same house.
Betty: So here’s the thing… Teri, you tell her.
Teri: Me?
Betty: You like conflict!
Danielle: She does.
Teri: I don’t like it, I’m just not afraid of it.
Tammi: What do you want to tell me? You want to make the green bean casserole? Go ahead, I hate the stuff.
Velma: Based on what’s being brought in the house right now, I have a pretty good idea of what she’s going to say.
Betty: So spit it out, Teri.
Teri: Tammi, your grandmother feels hurt by you deciding that you’re doing Thanksgiving this year.
Tammi: She what?
Teri: Mom, I think you should really express your feelings yourself. You can help her understand better than I can.
Tammi: I’m completely lost, so some clarity would be delightful.
Betty: I make Thanksgiving dinner every year, you know that. It’s something I’ve always done and I plan on continuing to do.
Danielle: I think we should probably leave the room now.
Velma: And miss this?
Betty: I don’t understand why you wouldn’t even ask me before you decided you were taking ti over.
Tammi: I asked you a few weeks ago if I could do it this year. You nodded and said “yeah.”
Betty: I think we both know I was not listening to you.
Tammi: I didn’t know! Why would you respond to someone if you didn’t hear a word they said?
Betty: I didn’t want to be rude.
Tammi: I think ignoring me is a lot ruder than asking me to repeat myself.
Betty: Agree to disagree.
Teri: Is there any way to solve this?
Betty: Tammi can let me carry on with tradition.
Tammi: I already bought food to make.
Betty: So did I.
Tammi: For some reason, I’m not surprised.
Cindy: I know I’m not involved in the conversation, but I have an idea.
Teri: This should be good.
Cindy: I won’t say it if you’re just going to be mean.
Tammi: Please say it. We’re listening.
Cindy: How about you make Thanksgiving dinner together. Mom, you always complain about how much work it is. Now you’ll have someone to help take some of the burden off.
Tammi: I though we were going to do it together. Are you okay if you don’t do it with me?
Cindy: Are you kidding me? Do I mind doing less cooking? Of course not!
Tammi: Well, I’m glad you’re so eager to give it up. Grandma, would that work for you?
Betty: I’m not used to sharing the Thanksgiving cooking duties, but if this is my only way to keep doing it at all, I think it could be fun.
Teri: I helped you last year.
Betty: Did you?
Teri: I did!
Velma: Betty, didn’t you kick her out of the kitchen last year?
Betty: That is exactly what I did. She was getting in my way.
Ralph: I’m a cook. Why does no one ever ask me to make dinner?
Cindy: Do you really want to be stuck in a kitchen with mom?
Ralph: No, I’m just curious.
Tammi: You can make a pie if you want.
Betty: No, I want to make the pie! You know how much I love making pie.
Ralph: Make the pie, mom. I’m good.
Tammi: I have a question for you.
Ralph: For me?
Tammi: No, for grandma.
Velma: She’s quite popular.
Teri: In fairness, the three of us were supposed to be having a private conversation, but some people have no regard for privacy.
Karl: You did decide to have the conversation out in the open.
Teri: Don’t defend them, dad.
Karl: Sorry, I’ll stay out of it.
Betty: I’m sorry they’re so rude and interrupt us. What’s your question?
Tammi: Since you bought food already for Thanksgiving, could we maybe use that? I’ll reimburse you for it. I just don’t feel like going to the grocery story to fight over a turkey when we have one already.
Teri: No, Tammi. We have two.
Tammi: Two?
Teri: You really think one turkey can feed thirteen people?
Tammi: You could have gotten a big one.
Teri: We live in a town of fifteen thousand people. We have three grocery stores. You get what you get.
Cindy: Thankfully we have two ovens.
Tammi: One is in the guest house.
Teri: We’ll make it work.
Betty: Once again, I didn’t get a chance to answer before other people started talking. Yes, you can use our food. I’m not taking any payment for it, though. We’re all eating it just the same.
Tammi: I already stole Thanksgiving from you, I’m not about to take the food you bought without paying you back.
Betty: I’m your grandmother, grandmothers help their grandkids. You are not about to pay me.
Frank: Well, that’s a relief.
Tammi: Frank!
Five days later…
Ralph: Mom, Thanksgiving is tomorrow. When are you making your pumpkin pie?
Betty: Please don’t remind me of that.
Ralph: I have to because, once again, Thanksgiving is tomorrow.
Betty: Are you sure about that?
Ralph: Unless my calendar is wrong, yes, I’m sure.
Betty: I guess I better start making it, then.
Steven: Grandma Betty…
Betty: Yes?
Steven: I have something to confess.
Betty: Well, this should be good.
Steven: I ate the pie crust.
Betty: You did what?
Steven: I was up late working on school work and I got hungry and I remembered that mom told me not to eat any of the food you made for Thanksgiving, so I grabbed something I didn’t think was for Thanksgiving.
Betty: So you ate a plain pie crust?
Steven: Half of it, with some whipped cream.
Betty: Oh, Steven…
Steven: I’m sorry.
Betty: In your defense, it should’ve been turned into a prepared pie already. It’s my fault.
Steven: So you’re not mad?
Betty: I didn’t say that.
Steven: Have I ruined Thanksgiving?
Ralph: Have you seen all this food? You did not ruin Thanksgiving. Plus, we still have one left.
Betty: That’s not enough! I’m going to go to the store and getting another crust. What’s another four bucks?
Ralph: Fine by me. Long as I’m not the one that has to pick it up, I couldn’t care less what you do.
Betty: You’re not, don’t worry.
Steven: Do I have to go?
Betty: I should force you to go, but I’m not going to.
Steven: Thank you so much, grandma Betty.
Betty: You’re welcome. Remember, I’m the fun grandma.
One hour later, at the Stop & Save…
Betty: Excuse me, uh, Josh, where do you have the pie crusts? They’re not in the baking aisle like usual.
Josh: We moved them.
Betty: Well, why in the heck did you do that?
Josh: We put a lot of the Thanksgiving supplies together.
Betty: It wasn’t like that when I was here last week.
Josh: It is now. It’s over by the produce.
Betty: Thank you. I will be giving you positive feedback on the Stop & Survey online.
Betty walks to the produce section.
Betty: Where the hell is the Thanksgiving section?
Anita: Oh lord… Betty Bellwood…
Betty: I’m not thrilled to be seeing you, either.
Anita: What brings you here? You buying bananas for the monkeys in your family?
Betty: I’m here to get an ingredient for my pumpkin pie.
Anita: Why did you just pronounce it as if it’s one word?
Betty: What?
Anita: You said it like “pumpkinpie.”
Betty: That’s how it’s pronounced.
Anita: There’s traditionally a pause between “pumpkin” and “pie.”
Betty: You and your silly ways!
Anita: I hope it’s not pie crust, because that’s what I need.
Betty: You’re telling me that THE Anita DeFleur, the perfect HOA President, uses pre-made pie crust?
Anita: I’m too busy running the HOA to use fresh crust. You don’t have the same excuse, you do nothing all day.
Betty: You run the HOA. I run a store!
Anita: Is that what you’re calling it?
Betty spots the pie crust on the shelf and reaches forward to grab it.
Anita: Not so fast!
Anita grabs the crust.
Betty: I saw it first!
Anita: I was here first!
Betty grabs the crust from Anita’s grasp.
Anita: Oh, not so fast!
Betty runs to the checkout.
Betty: I’m sorry to be rude, I need you to check me out quickly.
Cashier: Okay.
Betty: Thank you, I truly appreciate it.
Cashier: Okay.
Betty: Can you say anything else?
Cashier: That’ll be four dollars and eleven cents.
Betty: Of course it will be.
Cashier: Okay.
Anita: I’ll let you have it this time, Betty Bellwood. You look like you need a win.
Betty: I really do, thanks!
The next day…
Mitchell: Wow, this smells so good!
Velma: You think McDonald’s smells good.
Mitchell: Tell me it doesn’t.
Velma: It does, but, still.
Jerry: You two are a good team! Maybe Betty’s Boutique could start selling home-cooked meals.
Velma: Mitchell would eat them all.
Betty: Also, the health department would frown upon it.
Karl: It does look really good though. Not as good as when you made it yourself, though, Betty. Nothing could ever top that.
Betty: Nice save.
Danielle: Can I just say something? It brings me to tears thinking of how well you all treat me. It’s my first Thanksgiving where I won’t even get to speak with my mother, and you’re helping me keep my mind off of it.
Karl: We’re all happy to help. And none of us helped more than Betty and Tammi.
Teri: I made the buns!
Cindy: And you let them burn.
Teri: It’s the most important Bellwood Thanksgiving tradition!
Frank: I believe it’s a Bellwood-Howerton Thanksgiving now!
Jerry: Eh… I hope you’re not married to that name.
Frank: You’re right, it doesn’t sound right.
Tammi: No matter what happens, it’ll always be a Betty Bellwood Thanksgiving.
Betty: I really appreciate that, because I’m fairly convinced that I committed assault in order to get the crust for the pumpkin pie.
Danielle: I’ve never heard anyone pronounce pumpkin pie quite like that, Betty.
Betty: Oh…
Karl: Dig in, everyone!
Jerry: I have to say grace!
Teri: Ugh…. whyyyyy?
Jerry: I must thank the lord for this feast!
Teri: Thanks god. Dig in, everyone!
Jerry: Do not dig in!
Karl: Just make it quick, Jerry.
Mitchell: Yeah, I’m ready to scarf this down.
Velma: We know.
Jerry: I’m going to say grace now.
Frank: Grace. Let’s eat.
Jerry: Not so fast!
Teri: No one would describe this as “fast.”
Danielle: I don’t know, we’re not eating. We are definitely fasting!
Ten minutes later…
Jerry: Amen.
Mitchell: Finally, we can eat!
Velma: And you can stop drooling!
Betty: Enjoy it, guys! It was quite a fight to get this made.
Tammi: Literally.
What did you think of this episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments, vote in the poll below and make sure to return for a new episode in two weeks!
