Ranking the Songs From the Rocky Horror Picture Show: A TVRG Halloween Special

The Rocky Horror Picture show is one of my favorite movies. It's a great film to watch every Halloween season (or a few times every Halloween season), since it has everything. It's funny, it's absolutely bananas, it features great performances, and best of all, its songs are amazing. The music is really what makes the movie, and the fantastic slate of songs is why I think TRHPS is one of the best movie musicals of all time. So to celebrate the Halloween season this year, I've decided to rank all of the great songs from the film's soundtrack, from worst to best. There's a few ground rules, though. Firstly, I'll be using the 40th Anniversary "Absolute Pleasures" soundtrack, as some of the film's songs aren't included on the original soundtrack. Also, reprises are not considered for this list. I'm about to make you a list, and unlike Dr. Frank-N-Furter when he makes a man, it won't take seven days.

18- Once In a While
This song isn't even in the movie, and for pretty good reason. It's a pretty big snooze fest, and it just doesn't really fit into the film all that well. It's fine, but it's nothing special.

17- Planet Hot Dog
Is Planet Hot Dog hilarious? Absolutely. But I'm ranking these as songs, not comedy pieces, and it's barely even a song. While it works really well in the movie, it's not something I'm ever going to listen to on its own, because it's not that type of song.

16- Super Heroes
Quite honestly, this song is forgettable. It doesn't make too much of an impression and I barely even remember it, even though I've seen Rocky Horror many times. It doesn't really make a mark on you and it's easily overshadowed by nearly every other song.

15- Fanfare/Don't Dream It
Here's another one where it works very well in the movie but isn't something you'd want to listen to on its own. "Don't dream it, be it" is one of the movie's most memorable lines, and rightfully so. But in song form, it's only okay.

14- I Can Make You a Man
This is one of those songs that I certainly don't hate, but I'm just not as thrilled with it as most people are. It's a good song, but it's far from the best in the movie and I think it just works better on film than in soundtrack form.

13- Wild and Untamed Thing
From this point on, I love all of the songs. Wild and Untamed Thing is just so fun to listen to, and it's a huge improvement on its preceding portion of the three part Rose Tint My World suite. It's just wonderful.

12- The Sword of Damocles
This song introduces us to the titular character in a great way. It's infectious and fun, and Rocky really shines in this one. It's a great choice to show off the film's main character with such a cool number. The only thing that sucks about it is that it's not on the original RHPS sound track.

11- Planet Schmanet, Janet
This song makes me want to just get up and dance. It's incredibly fun and energetic. Also, that pesky Janet Weiss better wise up!

10- Rose Tint My World
Rose Tint My World is an incredibly bizarre song. But it's also an incredibly good one. With four of the film's stars taking part is this three-minute-long "WTF?" fest. Despite being super weird, it fits naturally into this picture.

9- I'm Going Home
This is one of the most emotional songs in the entire film, and it's just really beautiful. At this point in the film, it's pretty clear that our favorite sweet transvestite isn't going to survive, and this is his swan song. And it works so well.

8- Over At the Frankenstein Place
This is just a lovely little song. It's not as rollicking as some of Rocky Horror's finest songs, but it doesn't have to be. It's still a great song that is simple, effective, and quite nice.

7- Eddie
I think this is one of the film's most underrated songs. It's wildly entertaining, and it's really got something for everyone. It starts slow, then speeds up. It features vocals from nearly everyone in the cast. It's just great in nearly every way. It also helps progress the plot better than many songs on this list. I will admit it, I wasn't a fan at first, but after a few more listens, it's become a true favorite.

6- Science Fiction/Double Feature
The song that starts it all, SF/DF doesn't just get the honor of being the first song viewers of the movie hear, it's also one of the movie's best. It's fun and really puts you in the mood for the hour and a half of weirdness you're about to witness. It pays homage to science fiction legends that came before Rocky Horror, as well as the film's protagonists Brad and Janet. All in all, a great song that's the perfect choice to kick off the movie.

5- Sweet Transvestite
This is the song that introduces us to Dr. Frank-N-Furter, and what a wonderful song it is. Curry is one of the main reasons why RHPS works so well, and this song is the sterling example of that. It's incredibly fun and it just rocks (pun most certainly intended).

4- Time Warp
Ask any person what they know about Rocky Horror, and they will say the Time Warp. And it's famous for a reason. It's nonsensical (kinda like the entirety of the film)and it's immensely fun to dance to. Charles Gray's Criminologist is hilarious in this, and he helps make this one of the films best, and easily the most memorable and iconic, songs.

3- Dammit Janet
One of the earliest songs in the film, Dammit Janet is incredibly infectious and fun. It kicks off the journey for our heroes Brad and Janet, and Bostwick just does a great job with it. Throw in the eavesdroppers (who I always sing along with), and you've got an amazing song.

2- Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me
This is one of the best because it's both funny and catchy as all get-out. It's my favorite song sung by 'Dammit' Janet Weiss, and that's because it's just such a fun song to listen to. As great as Sarandon is though, Magenta and Columbia steal the show, as is typical for them.

1- Hot Patootie - Bless My Soul
This is the one song on this list that, no matter what time of year, I'll listen to to put me in a good mood. It's just so fun to listen to, and Meat Loaf's voice fits this song perfectly. While Eddie didn't get much screen time, this song ensured that he would become an iconic character. It's my pick for the best Rocky Horror song.

What did you think of my rankings? What's your favorite Rocky Horror song? Let me know in the comments and vote in the poll below. And don't forget: Don't dream it, be it.

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