SETTING: Bullpen of the new Major League Women's Baseball team, the Bridgeport Zebras. KATIE, TRISH, KRISTIN, CAROLYN, and VAL are all trying out for the inaugural team. After several minutes of them awkwardly sitting next to each other watching batters try out, TRISH finally breaks the silence.
KRISTIN
Guys on the field look good.
TRISH
Girls. They're girls.
KRISTIN
I call everyone a guy. It helps me cope. You got a problem with that?
TRISH
Helps you cope?
KRISTIN sighs.
KRISTIN
Kinda, yeah. Not long ago, they said I was destined for the MLB. I was supposed to be the first woman to make it. Yet here I am. Trying out for the girl's team with all of you.
TRISH
Well if anyone else hates women, speak up now.
KATIE
I don't, but I do have a problem with one woman in particular. She told me we would try out together and she's nowhere to be found! Does that count?
TRISH
If that counts, then we'll have to count the chick I punched in the face at an MLB game.
KATIE
And you got away with that?!
TRISH shakes her head.
TRISH
I got banned from MLB stadiums.
VAL
Well in any event, Kristin, it's nice to meet someone else who can pitch.
KRISTIN
Pitch? Oh no. I played pinch hitter.
VAL
No but like, what position did you play?
KRISTIN
I literally just said, I played pinch hitter.
CAROLYN
Nothing wrong with that. In my old league, I played a batter/dancer. And I fully intend on doing the same here.
TRISH
Can we get back to Val saying she can pitch?
VAL
I threw for the Indianapolis Primitives.
TRISH
No way.
VAL
It's true! 2024 was my last year. Then the team moved out to Santa Fe and I decided I didn't want to leave Indy.
TRISH
But you're in Bridgeport now...
VAL
I changed my mind.
KRSTIN
So you pitched for the Primitives? How did I not know that?!
VAL
Pitched? No. I threw peanuts.
KRISTIN
That makes more sense.
Two people, ELENA and MARISSA, come walking up to the bullpen.
ELENA
Alright, what are you all doing here?
TRISH
We're waiting to try out for the team.
ELENA
Do you have eyes? Tryouts have been going on for hours!
VAL
Wasn't that for batters?
ELENA
It was for everyone, genius. But nobody tried out to be a relief pitcher so...you guys wanna be the bullpen?
KATIE, TRISH, KRISTIN, CAROLYN, and VAL look around at one other and shrug in approval.
ELENA
Alright then. This is Marissa, she'll be your bullpen catcher, whenever you warm up you'll be throwing balls at her. I'll be your bullpen coach. To be very clear, I wanted to be coach, Marissa wanted to be a real catcher, but here we are.
CAROLYN
So we made the team?
ELENA
Yes, you made the team. Congratulations, I guess.