Marietta is at Patty Lynn’s for dinner.
Patty Lynn: You know, Marietta, you do have that doctor’s appointment on Tuesday. Don’t forget about it.
Marietta: How do you even know that?
Patty Lynn: You’re deflecting. Did you not remember?
Marietta: No, I did not.
Patty Lynn: Then aren’t you so lucky to have me?
Kathleen: I don’t know if that’s the word she’d use.
Milton: I do think the office usually calls the night before the appointment to remind you.
Patty Lynn: No, she’s lucky to have me. We’ve established this.
Marietta: No one said I wasn’t!
Kathleen: I did
Maria: You say it all the time, though. It’s nothing unexpected.
Kathleen: I have to keep her on her toes.
Patty Lynn: After you go to your appointment, make sure you let me know how you’re doing. I worry about you.
Milton: You worry about everyone.
Patty Lynn: Not like her. She doesn’t take care of herself.
Marietta: I take perfect care of myself.
Kyle: Your diet isn’t ideal, mom.
Sarah: You ate candy bars for breakfast all the time back when I lived with you.
Marietta: Those were protein bars!
Sarah: Let’s not kid ourselves.
Kathleen: She looks fine. She seems a healthy weight, she doesn’t look sickly, her hair hasn’t fallen out, she doesn’t look chronically fatigued like most people in stressful jobs.
Milton: As the only one here besides Marietta who has done her job… it’s not that high-stress.
Moira: Don’t throw her back under the bus, Milton. You know what it’s like to get your mother on your case.
Milton: If I hadn’t had mom on my case about finding a wife for so long, I never would’ve been able to open my heart to you.
Patty Lynn: See how helpful I am!
Moira: I’m a little weirded out by that statement, honestly, so I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear it.
Milton: I appreciate that.
Marietta: I really am perfectly healthy. It’s just that. I get odd cravings.
Sarah: Are you pregnant?
Marietta: I’m about twenty years past that point.
Sarah: I was trying to be kind. Just go with it.
Patty Lynn: Your cravings could be medical. It’s best to bring that up to the doctor.
Marietta: Gosh, you won’t let this go. Do you think you’re my mom or something?
Patty Lynn: I am your mother!
Kathleen: I feel like she’s aware.
Maria: Speaking of family, I know this sounds crazy, but it’s so weird to have a Saturday night dinner with only family. No Amy, no Tammy and Mitch. What’s up with that?
Marietta: They all claim to have plans. I don’t buy it. But, thank you for changing the subject. It was much-needed.
Milton: I notice Elena and Eliza aren’t here, either.
Henrietta: Yeah, they’ve got their own issues. Namely, they’re still barely talking after Mardi Gras.
Patty Lynn: Oh, that was two weeks ago? Who hasn’t moved on by now?
Henrietta: Well, the Senate Democrats did ask mom to not bring Elena around work for a while.
Marietta: I think there’s a reason that the Democrats here have about ten seats in the Senate, and it’s that they’re allergic to fun. It’s Louisiana, what Elena did is no big deal!
Moira: I think that’s oversimplifying things. She did throw up on a dog. Even Louisianans think that’s bad.
Patty Lynn: Speaking of throwing up…
Marietta: Oh, shut up!
Three days later…
Marietta: My mother has called me six times to remind me, and to tell me to remind all of you, that I have a doctor’s appointment at 3 PM today. So, don’t let me forget.
Amy: Okay.
Tammy: Is something the matter?
Marietta: It’s my yearly checkup. Clearly, mom’s scared I have some sort of illness that will become terminal if I don’t act. I feel fine, though.
Tammy: Look at me.
Marietta: Why?
Tammy: I want to see if something looks off.
Marietta: You can tell that by looking at me?
Tammy: I see you often. I’ll know if something’s off.
Marietta: Is there?
Tammy: You look fine to me.
Marietta: Good to know.
Henrietta: Well, do we want to discuss the women’s empowerment initiative before you have to go?
Marietta: Jeez, I forgot about that.
Tammy: We can tell.
Marietta: Look, I got us a WNBA team, is that not enough? I’m almost out of here anyway.
Amy: Again, I did want to discuss me running to succeed you.
Marietta: I think I really ought to get going to this appointment.
Henrietta: It’s noon.
Marietta: They do say to always get there a few hours early when you go to the doctor!
Henrietta: That’s the airport!
Marietta: Close enough.
Amy: Do you not want me to run?
Marietta: I think everyone is free to run if they’d like. It’s so early.
Amy: That’s very noncommittal.
Marietta: I don’t want you to jump into anything. We can field some polling and make sure a candidacy would be viable.
Amy: You don’t think my campaign would be viable?
Marietta: When did I say that?
Tammy: I think we need to turn the temperature down.
Marietta: I agree.
Amy: So I’m just going to be ignored.
Marietta: For god’s sake, if you want to run, run! I’m not going to stop you, I just want to look out for you. You’ve had such a career, I don’t want it ending on a low note.
Henrietta: I think we should table this before we get Marietta’s blood pressure up before her big appointment.
Marietta: Exactly. We want everything to be accurate!
Amy: Of course. You’re certainly not deflecting for any other reason.
Later that day, at the doctor’s office…
Marietta: How bad is it?
Dr. Ford: What do you mean, bad?
Marietta: I can see the look in your eye. Something is wrong.
Dr. Ford: Well first, I want to thank you truly for going for bloodwork last week. That does give us the chance to discuss the results today and address any issues that may arise.
Marietta: There were issues?
Dr. Ford: Marietta, I’m afraid you do have prediabetes.
Marietta: That’s not good.
Dr. Ford: It’s not ideal.
Marietta: I’m not… I don’t mean to discriminate, but I’m not overweight. I don’t binge eat. I don’t know how this has happened.
Dr. Ford: It can happen to anyone, really. Obesity is something that really raises your chances of developing diabetes, but so is age, a sedentary lifestyle, and family history. Do you have any family members who are diabetic?
Marietta: My grandmother and my uncle. Both on my mom’s side.
Dr. Ford: Okay, no siblings or parents with it?
Marietta: Not that I know.
Dr. Ford. Well, grandparents and uncles having it is still a risk, but it does make sense it may have flown under the radar a bit.
Marietta: I just did a full medical examination last year, when I ran for president.
Dr. Ford: That’s why I think we can easily treat this. You just need to put your mind to it. SO I’m prescribing Metformin for you, that’s going to be a great tool for you. Once a day with food, preferably in the mornings right after breakfast.
Marietta: I’m very forgetful with medication.
Dr. Ford: Maybe write a note and tape it to your counter next to a bottle of pills. Simple tricks like that do work.
Marietta: I’ll try my hardest.
Dr. Ford: Lifestyle changes are also in order. The most important factor is you do need to exercise more. Just make time - even if it’s twenty minutes or ten minutes or even five minutes at the very start - to get up and move. Build up to at least a half hour eventually, an hour is really the preferred time, but baby steps.
Marietta: I have such a busy lifestyle.
Dr. Ford: I am aware of your job, and I assure you, you can find ten minutes. Doesn’t even have to be every day. Just three, four times a week at least. You need to get moving.
Marietta: Walking the streets was always my least-favorite aspect of campaigning, but I guess if it’s about my health, I’ll do it.
Dr. Ford: Are you a sweets eater?
Marietta: No…
Dr. Ford: Be honest.
Marietta: I love ‘em.
Dr. Ford: I figured. Who doesn’t?
Marietta: So I can keep -
Dr. Ford: No. It has to be a treat, not a daily thing.
Marietta: Got it.
Dr. Ford: Carbohydrates in general need to be drastically reduced.
Marietta: But I love pasta!
Dr. Ford: There are low-carb alternatives. I can set you up with a dietician to discuss those.
Marietta: This is a lot. I was expecting a clean bill of health. You know, my mom was so sure I was ill.
Dr. Ford: Other than this, you’re incredibly healthy. This is just one small area in which you can improve your health. I believe in you, you can do this.
Marietta: Oh no, that’s the speech they give to the hopeless!
A bit later, Marietta leaves the doctor’s office and calls Kate.
Marietta: Kate, is Ellie there?
Kate: You know, you could’ve just called her if you wanted to talk to her.
Marietta: I’m in an unfortunate situation. I need the advice of wise friends.
Ellie: You’ve called the wrong place, then.
Marietta: I knew you’d be there!
Kate: She’s always there.
Ellie: And you wouldn’t want it any other way!
Kate: So what’s up, honey?
Marietta: I took a trip to the doctor’s today. I found out I’m prediabetic.
Kate: Oh boy!
Ellie: That’s nothing! They’re just telling you you might eventually become sick. Don’t get yourself too wound up about it.
Kate: But, definitely try to manage it.
Marietta: I do plan on it, but it is concerning. I don’t want to spend my life being ill. I don’t want serious health issues.
Kate: I’m sure your doctor told you ways to manage this. You gotta follow along.
Marietta: But I love candy and soda so much!
Ellie: Moderation is key.
Kate: Oh, you’re a health guru now? You just told her to ignore it!
Ellie: I’m trying to tell her what I think she needs to hear. I want her both calm and healthy.
Kate: So you’re playing mind games with her.
Marietta: All right, let’s not fight. That’s not why I called.
Kate: We. Fight either way.
Ellie: And who would ever want it any other way?
Later, at the mayor’s mansion, there’s a knock at the door.
Marietta: What are you doing here?
Patty Lynn: You’ve ignored my texts and calls, and I got worried.
Kathleen: And I’m her chaperone.
Patty Lynn: I don’t need a chaperone!
Kathleen: Oh, yes, you do!
Marietta: Come on in. I’ll make you some tea.
Kathleen: Do you have wine?
Marietta: I don’t think I’m allowed to have that anymore.
Patty Lynn: Oh no… was it bad news?
Marietta: It wasn’t. Great news.
Patty Lynn: Honey! We’ll get through this.
Kathleen: You don’t even know what she’s got and you’re already crying. That helps no one. This is why you need a chaperone.
Marietta: I’m prediabetic. That’s the big crisis.
Kathleen: I’m prediabetic. That’s not that big a deal.
Patty Lynn: You are prediabetic? You’ve never told me!
Kathleen: I don’t need you in my business.
Marietta: I’m shocked you could keep a secret from her.
Kathleen: I don’t see it as a secret. I just view it as a part of my life. I manage it the best I can, but I’m old, and you only live once. I’m not going to completely restrain myself from the food I love because it could hurt me. Chocolate cake’s never been healthy, but I’ve eaten it my whole life. I just eat smaller pieces now. Small changes add up.
Patty Lynn: Marietta, we’re going to start exercising. And I’m going to start cooking healthier meals. Lower carbs, less sugar, more vegetables and organic foods. I’m going to be as much help as I can, because I want you healthy.
Marietta: I think I maybe should’ve just kept it to myself, too.
Kathleen: It’s the only way to be in this family.
What did you think of this episode of Marietta? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode next week!
