Annie picks up her phone and calls her mom.
Stella: Annie! Oh, my little basketball pro, what are you calling me for on this fine afternoon?
Annie: Mom, I need advice.
Stella: You know I’m always here for it.
Annie: Well, I hope you can help with this, because I’m feeling very overwhelmed and I need to get it under control, stat.
Stella: Why are you feeling overwhelmed? Is it about being far from home?
Annie: Not completely, but that sure doesn’t help. This is all so unusual for me, so new. I was a top recruit going into college and I still opted to go to my hometown school, just because I didn’t want to leave all of you. And now I’m really being thrown into the big leagues here. I’m going pro, I’m literally about to leave for my first-ever training camp as a WBL player, and my family’s not here. I feel like a fish out of water.
Stella: Honey, you don’t need us. You are strong and beautiful and so mature. We love you, and we’re always going to be rooting for you, but you’re ready for this.
Annie: I know, but… I’m about to play with Debra Andreesi. Sherry Wilson is about to be my coach. These are legends! I grew up watching them, now I’m playing with them.
Stella: Maybe let’s not tell them that, we don't want them to feel old.
Annie: Oh my god, of course not.
Stella: Look, Sherry Wilson is your coach, and you’re gonna listen to her, like every other player on that team. And Debra Andreesi, I know she’s a hothead, but she was very gracious to you on draft night, and you’ve spoken a bit since, you’re gonna play together really well. So, no need to worry about them, or anyone. You are the #1 draft pick. You took Lehigh University to the championship game. You made them contenders. You’ve done things no one has ever done. You are one of one, and you’re my special girl. I don’t want you feeling self-conscious, but you are human, and that’s a natural feeling. But you also need to feel comfortable with your greatness, and feel assured that you’re worthy, This is your league now, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Meanwhile, Debra is also preparing for training camp.
Debra: Whit, things just feel different this year.
Whitney: How so?
Debra: My body’s been slowing down. It’s no secret I’m nearing the end, the last couple seasons, I barely even wanted to go back, because it’s just so much on my body. I feel excited to get back to camp this year. I’m reenergized.
Whitney: Well, I think we all know why that is.
Debra: Do we? Share with the class!
Whitney: Annie Carter!
Debra: Yeah, she;’s pretty great. Look, I love Aubrey, don’t get me wrong. Aubrey’s a big. Aubrey plays in the front court, and she’s amazing at what she does. She was a huge help last year with Bethany, and now she’s gonna have to carry the front court herself. But Annie… I haven’t played with a gifted guard in the back court since, well… you.
Whitney: Aww, you’re always such a romantic.
Debra: I am, but it’s also just true. You’re the best guard I’ve ever played with. Now, I’m almost forty, and I get to play with a #1 draft pick at the point. We might actually win some games again!
Whitney: Come on, you guys won some games!
Debra: Yes, 25% of them last season - and that was an increase from the previous year. I’m just really excited that, as long as my own body holds up, the Cougars might finally be a good team again. We can win, we can contend, and I can end my career on a high note, rather than having people pointing and laughing and saying “Hey, didn’t Andreesi used to be pretty good? What happened to her?” Because, fair or not, spending the end of your career leading a team that loses non-stop is not a good look. I’m supposed to be a legend, the GOAT, whatever. This is a way to put a cherry on the top of my legacy. The finish line’s coming up. I see it, I sense it, it’s so close. I just want to cross it with some dignity. I think Annie Carter’s gonna help me do that.
Whitney: For your sake, I sure hope she does. She has all the potential. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone quite like her.
Debra: She’s incredible. I just hope, and it’s my one fear, that I don’t totally embarrass myself in front of her. She’s young, fit, fresh on the scene. I’m old! I don’t want to be seen as the anchor weighing her down. I have to really put in the effort to not let her down.
Whitney: Deb, you’re the greatest shooting guard in the history of women’s basketball. You’re a living legend, and you’re still playing at All-WBL level, at all-star level. You have nothing to worry about.
Debra: I sure hope so. I owe it to this kid and my team to be the vet she needs, and to play even better than I’ve played in the last two, three seasons. Now, I’m off to camp.
Whitney: Did you want me to make you a lunch first?
Debra: No, I’m good. I’m not six.
Whitney: All right, you have a good day. I love you.
Debra: I love you, too.
Whitney: And don’t be too late! I don’t need the kids asking where mom is already. That’s more of a summer thing.
Debra: I always say, you should bring them to some games.
Whitney: It’s too loud in there.
Debra: This house is pretty damn loud. I live here.
Whitney: That is a good point.
Later that day, at training camp…
Sheryl: Everyone, welcome to day one of the Colorado Cougars training camp for the 2026 season. It’s so wonderful to have all your smiling faces here. We have new additions, we have old friends returning, we’re glad to have you all just the same. You know this already, but I am coach Sheryl Wilson. You can also call me coach, or Wilson, or, if we really know each other, I suppose you can call me Sheryl.
Debra: Got it, Wilson.
Sheryl: Debra, great to hear you, as always So, these are my assistant coaches - from the right, you have Keith Fowler, -
Keith: Great to be here.
Sheryl: Roseanne McKenzie, -
Roseanne: No relation to the crazy racist lady who I share a name with, by the way. Not even named after her. Roseanne’s a family name.
Sheryl: and Rhonda DeLaine.
Rhonda: I don’t want to see no tomfoolery from you kids. Got it?
Debra: I’m not a kid, do I get an exemption?
Rhonda: You and that damn mouth, Andreesi…
Debra: Great, ain’t it?
Sherry: All right, in the spirit of getting to know one another better, we’re gonna go around the room and introduce ourselves - whether you’re new here or not. Deb, you’re the oldest, go ahead.
Debra: Well, you all know me. I’m Debra Andreesi, two-time WBL MVP, four-time champion with the Cougars. I’m, uh… in my thirties, you’ll have to look me up on Wikipedia for my real age. I’m married to the Cougars legend Whitney Proctor, with whom I have two kids - Luca and Sofia. Out of everything I’ve achieved in life, they’re what I’ll always be proudest of. Oh, and go Wildcats - not in the High School Musical way.
Carmen: I’m Carmen Hale, I’m twenty-four and a two-time Pac-12 all-defensive team member. I went to USC, I’m a proud Trojan, and I play small forward for the most part. Oh, and I have a dog named Patty, after Pat Summitt.
Sheryl: Kissass.
Carmen: What?
Sheryl: Nothing, dear. Glad to have you back.
Melissa: I’m Melissa Hoover, backup shooting guard. I was drafted by Albuquerque seven years ago, this is my third season here in Colorado. I’m originally from Arkansas, a proud Arkansas grad. I am known for being a feisty, fiery presence on the court and the bench, and it does get me into some trouble sometimes, but it’s who I am.
Sheryl: It… it sure is.
Aubrey: I’m Aubrey Billings, I was the #1 draft pick in the WBL draft in 2025. I’m a graduate of South Carolina and I play center. It was such an honor to join the team last year, and I’m really excited to run it back this year with some new additions to the squad.
Kamala: I’m Kamala Kessler, I’m a small forward entering my third year on the Cougars. I’ve dreamed of being in this league since I was a kid, it was the only thing I’ve ever really wanted to do with my life, and I’m still in disbelief that my dream’s coming true.
Alicia: I’m Alicia Foley. As you can tell, I’m from Great Britain, but I did come here for college at Stanford. I’ve played across the league, most recently in Virginia, but also at Kansas City, New Orleans and San Francisco. I’m happy to be here in Colorado, getting to play with new people, including my idol, Debra.
Debra: Oh god, don’t age me.
Tara: I’m Tara Lightlinger, this is my fourth season on the Cougars. I’ve always been the starting point guard and I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am that that’s no longer the case. I’m truly sick of all the fans blaming me for how much we have… let’s say underwhelmed.
Annie: Aww, that isn’t fair. And, you might still start!
Sheryl: No, no she won’t be.
Tara: You’re just trying to be nice, Carter. I respect that. You don’t need to lie to me, though. I know I’m a benchwarmer, at best.
Annie: Okay, it’s training camp, let’s maybe not make the case for you being waived right now.
Tara: I’m on a guaranteed salary this season, I have no reason to cover up my shortcomings.
Sheryl: You do great work for us, Lightlinger. Maybe let’s just go with “good work,” actually. That’s actually true. I’ve never once considered cutting you.
Celia: I have.
Aubrey: I love how open and honest we’re being. It’s only day one, it usually takes weeks to get on each others’ case like this.
Melissa: That’s the Cougar spirit. We’re all completely cool with being total dicks to each other. In fact, we even enjoy it. It’s all in good fun!
Debra: I like to believe I have a huge part in fostering that environment.
Sheryl: Oh, you absolutely did.
Annie: Well, I am Annie Carter.
Debra: We know, kid.
Carmen: I don’t want to make this weird, but you’re, like… our hero.
Aubrey: I still don’t know how the front office managed to get you, and I’m sorry to Bethany, but thank god they did.
Celia: I have a talent, kids. Remember that. I’m not just an uncool old lady. I’m a shark.
Sheryl: All right, can we let our one true hope talk?
Annie: Please don’t call me that. Lotta pressure, coach.
Sheryl: I’m sorry. It’s just… you’ve made me feel hope for the first time in a long, long time.
Debra: Yeah, it’s kind of amazing coach didn’t get fired after how awful we’ve been the last couple years. She needs you to work out or she’s toast.
Sheryl: I don’t think we have to put it that way. Andreesi.
Debra: Is it wrong?
Sheryl: Let her talk!
Annie: Okay, so I’m Annie Carter. I’ve always wanted to be a guard because of people like Debra and Sharon Segal and Tamara Ellmer. I watched them all growing up as a kid in Pennsylvania and it just inspired me, even though my family was not exactly a sports family. I was the #1 pick this year, which I guess you know, after I went to the championships with my hometown team, Lehigh. I’m also a three-time AP Player of the Year, and, uh… that’s it, I guess. Oh, and I’m really happy to be her win Colorado. I’ve never been before, but I’ve been told it’s lovely!
Debra: Just don’t smoke and grass and then drive. I did that once, they busted me for it, it was a whole thing.
Sheryl: We recall…
Debra: That was almost ten years ago, stop giving me that face!
Sherry: Someone else go, please. We have to shut Andreesi up somehow.
Ten minutes later…
Sherry: All right, so the icebreakers are out of the way. I know you do mostly know one another, but I love to just start this out with giving you all the chance to re-introduce yourselves. I think it helps the rookies and the new additions feel more at home.
Debra: Wait, hold up. Who’s this big weird girl that doesn’t talk?
Sheryl: Oh, that’s Fiona Haas, she was just traded to us from Myrtle Beach.
Debra: Fiona, like the ogre?
Annie: You like Shrek?
Debra: I’m thirty-eight, not ninety. Plus, I’ve got two young kids.
Sheryl: Oh my god, she said her age!
Debra: Dammit!
Aubrey: Fiona, can you talk?
Debra: I think she’s mute.
Sheryl: I think we just accidentally passed her over. Fiona, go ahead and introduce yourself.
Debra: I don’t know how that could possibly happen, she’s gigantic and lumbering. It’s like we drafted Lurch.
Sheryl: We didn’t draft her, and, shut up.
Debra: You rooks are gonna quickly learn that I get in trouble around here a LOT.
Annie: We can tell.
Fiona: Okay, so I am Fiona Haas and I went to Minnesota State and I was a second-round draft pick for Myrtle Beach but then I got traded here because they didn’t want me there and that’s all you need to know, all right bye.
Sheryl: No, Fiona, no. Don’t walk away.
Fiona: I’ve made a bad first impression, I think.
Sheryl: No, you’re just nervous. It’s fine. You’re gonna have plenty of time to get to know everyone and feel more comfortable and break out of your shell.
Fiona: I want to stay in my shell.
Debra: Oh boy. I think Jack Skellington’s gonna be an issue.
Carmen: Deb, what matters most is if she can hoop.
Debra: Does she look like she can hoop? She looks like she’d be too scared to walk to her mailbox, let alone play defense or, the most important basketball skill, scream at a ref.
Sheryl: You need to stop it with the screaming at refs, Andreesi.
Debra: Never gonna happen!
Sheryl: Okay, I need everyone to change into your practice shirts and shorts. It’s time for our first practice, we’re doing a scrimmage match. I’ll split you into two teams when you get out.
Debra: Do I need to take part in this? I’m feeble and old, I feel like it’s best not to put more wear and tear on this body.
Sheryl: Why do you cause me so much undue stress?
Debra: I don’t know, with all that screaming you do on the sidelines, I really shouldn’t be putting more strain on your heart.
Later that day…
Reporter Hailey Robinson: Annie, what was it like to get your first practice in as a Cougar?
Annie: It was an honor, really. It hasn’t sunk in yet that I’ve gone pro, or that I’m playing with my childhood idol, but it was great to take part in practice, and to get to just know the whole team. We played great together, I think Debra and I are going to -
Debra: You talking about me, Carter?
Annie: Only good things!
Debra: I’d hope so!
Annie: I’m happy to be part of it, and I’m thrilled to feel so valued here. I think we’re going to be a match made in heaven.
Debra: I think so too!
Carmen: Debra, stop taking Annie’s spotlight.
Annie: No, I don’t mind. She’s a legend!
Debra: See, I hate that word, because it makes me sound old. Which I am, but I don’t like being reminded of it.
Sherry: Ladies, break’s over!
Annie: I think I have to go. Nice talking with you again, Hailey.
Hailey: Nice talking with you, Annie. Good luck at training camp.
Debra: Hey, Carter, we’re all going out for drinks after camp today. You want to come hang out with us? It’ll be fun!
Annie: Oh my god, I’m going out for drinks with Debra Andreesi!
Debra: We’re equals, Carter. You gotta stop acting star-struck. Though, at least you’re better off than Shrek. God, is she mute?
Annie: We went over this already, she isn’t.
Debra: If you insist.
Melissa: Girls, coach is going to yell at us if we don’t get moving.
Aubrey: But she also yells at us in there.
Melissa: Well, she is our coach. It’s sort of the job.
Aubrey: I’m just saying, regardless of what we do, she’s going to be yelling at us.
Annie: Does she really yell that much? She hasn’t yelled much at me at all.
Debra: That’s because you’re perfect, kid.
Carmen: And Debra is… Debra.
The next day…
Celia: All right, everyone. Big day today, because it’s media day!
Debra: Ugh.
Melissa: Worst day of the year!
Aubrey: I like media day!
Debra: That’s because you’re only done one.
Annie: I’m pretty excited for this, actually. It’s all really going to hit me once I’m wearing that Cougars jersey with my name on it.
Tara: Well, you know, some of you aren’t as secure in your positions on this team as others. You could get waived.
Carmen: We get it, Tara. You’re just as amazed about you getting a protected contract as the rest of us.
Tara: I was just pulling her leg! She’s clearly not getting waived.
Annie: Hey, if I don’t perform, they’re free to cut me. I don’t want to just get on the team because I’m a big name. I want to earn it.
Aubrey: I guess she told you, DA.
Debra: No, she was… that wasn’t a dig at me, was it?
Annie: No! You crazy? If anyone’s earned a spot on this team, it’s you.
Sheryl: Kissass!
Carmen: See, I told you she yells.
Annie: She’s always seemed so much more reserved when I met her over my college career.
Carmen: She’s so nice outside of this. She just expects a lot from us.
Aubrey: Which is ironic, considering the team’s record the last five years.
Debra: Hey, we’ve tried our best.
Melissa: That doesn’t make it any better!
Celia: Okay, we’re gonna let the rookies go first. Head to the locker room, get changed into your jerseys, then you can meet the photographer out here for pictures, and then we’ll move you along to the rest of it. Gonna be a fun day!
Debra: Fun as a root canal.
Ten minutes later…
Celia: All right, ladies. This is Trevor, the team photographer. He’s been with us for years.
Debra: I’ve yelled at him a couple times.
Trevor: She has.
Celia: Classic Deb!
Trevor: Actually, Debra, I’m glad you’re here. Let’s get some pictures of you and Annie together. The two generations of Cougars greats that we’re getting to see play with one another.
Debra: Ah, come on, I’m not that great. She’s great.
Annie: Yeah, I am pretty great.
Debra: She’s already getting more confident here! She’s gonna be calling herself the GOAT by the end of camp.
Tara: Which would be silly, because we all know the true GOAT is me.
Fiona: Um, hi… this jersey is not my size, actually.
Celia: Jesus! It’s like you tried to put on a child’s small!
Fiona: I know I’m very tall, but this is really making me a bit more self-conscious.
Sheryl: No, no self-consciousness. You being huge is great. You can just set the ball in the hoop, that’s a great asset for us. Also, you’re shockingly athletic. I think you’re gonna be pretty good. Myrtle Beach is a fool for giving you up.
Debra: Well, not like anyone is expecting a team that plays at the beach to make good choices.
Aubrey: Hey, let’s not go too hard on South Carolina now.
Debra: Oh, I forgot you’re from there. Sorry about that.
Aubrey: It’s fine. I can handle a joke, I’ve already played with you for a year.
Debra: I didn’t mean about the joke. I meant about being from South Carolina. Wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
Celia: Pictures, girls!
Debra: Can you not tell I’m stalling?
Sheryl: Helen Keller could tell, that’s how subtle you are.
Debra: I’m just not that photogenic.
Annie: She does have a point there.
Debra: Asshole!
Annie: I’m learning from the best.
What did you think of this episode of Foul Play? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode next week!
