Milton enters Kate’s office for a meeting with her and Ellie.
Milton: Always great to see my distinguished caucus leader again. And Ellie, too. What’s up today?
Kate: Our chances of flipping Louisiana.
Milton: What?
Kate: Rob Cheravoix just announced he’s retiring. You didn’t know?
Milton: He’s running! I’ve seen ads on TV for him, he’s been holding events.
Ellie: Something changes his mind.
Kate: The rumor is that the party is forcing him out.
Milton: In this environment? Why on earth would they do that?
Kate: The president doesn’t like him. What the presidents says goes.
Milton: Why would the president dislike him that much? He votes with him 95% of the time! He’s never been the reason one of his bills have failed - that’s always been on us!
Kate: President Delphy is an unusual man, I’m not gonna get into it. What I do know is that Cheravoix’s out, and that opens a path up for us. Milton, you have the unique opportunity as hair of the campaign committee to try to flip your own home state.
Milton: I’d love to see if flip, but it would take an extremely strong candidate to pull that off.
Kate: I have one in mind, and you’ve got their ear…
Milton: Elaborate.
Kate: Marietta.
Milton: Oh, god, no.
Ellie: You don’t want to work with your sister?
Milton: She’s polarizing in our state. And look what happened the last time she ran for Senate. I know that would stick in her mind, and it might doom her to a loss from the beginning. You know, something about worrying so much that something will happen that you ensure it does.
Ellie: She’s the strongest candidate we could possibly recruit. Four terms in the Senate, two terms as mayor of your state’s largest city, a frontrunner for the presidency… that’s quite a resume.
Kate: Your family is also legendary in the state. There isn’t a single Democrat we could recruit who’d have a better shot. Our only candidates now are a state rep with no name recognition and a boat captain.
Milton: I can ask her, I just don’t think she’s going to say yes.
Kate: That’s okay, I’m not demanding that she run. I just like to make sure we’ve reached out to the ideal candidates, let them. Know we’re interested in seeing them run. Doesn’t hurt for us to have the brother of our dream candidate being the one reaching out.
Milton: Honestly, she likes you better than me, maybe you should be the ones reaching out.
Ellie: We did consider that. In the end, blood’s still thicker than water.
Kate: And if she does concede, make sure to come up with some backup options to reach out to.
Ellie: Maybe your wife, maybe niece-in-law, maybe your mother… you know, someone with the family name.
Kate: Eliza could change her last name to Landfield.
Ellie: Do we think Tammy would be up for another run for Senate as Tammy Yarborough-Landfield?
Milton: I’m gonna try to think up some names outside of my own family.
Kate: If you must.
Milton: I promise you guys, there are Democrats not named Landfield who can win this race.
Kate: I’ll take your word for it. I don’t know enough about Louisiana to really know, it’s not like our party’s been doing too well there.
Milton: I’m gonna find the best candidate I can. I know it’s not a must-win seat, but it would be great to flip it. I’d like a friend here with me.
Kate: Are we not friends?
Milton: We don’t take the same flight home.
Ellie: You fly with your wife, no?
Kate: Again, I think she’d make a great candidate.
Milton: City councilor to senator isn’t exactly a natural progression, is it?
Kate: I trust you to figure it out.
Later that day, Milton calls Marietta.
Milton: Marietta, how are you?
Marietta: What do you want?
Milton: Why do you think I want something?
Marietta: You never ask me how I am, not unless you want something.
Milton: I don’t want anything. Kate and Ellie do!
Marietta: Why aren’t Kate and Ellie calling, then?
Milton: They figured it would be better coming from me.
Marietta: But I like them better than you.
Milton: That’s what I told them!
Marietta: I’m glad you’re self-aware. Now, what do you want?
Milton: The news is about to break tomorrow that Rob Cheravoix is suspending his re-election bid. He was basically pushed out by Delphy, I don’t know who the Republicans have in mind to run for the seat. I know who our party has in mind.
Marietta: No.
Milton: Can I ask first?
Marietta: Fine.
Milton: We would interested in endorsing and supporting your potential candidacy. We think you’re our best chance to flip the seat.
Marietta: No.
Milton: I told them that’s what you’d say.
Marietta: The last time I ran statewide was the most embarrassing experience of my life. Never again.
Milton: It’s okay, I didn’t expect you to run. I’ve already got other people in mind.
Marietta: You didn’t even wait for me to answer before you started thinking of other people? That’s not cool.
Milton: You don’t even want to run.
Marietta: Maybe I will now, just to spite you.
Milton: Why must you make my life more difficult?
Marietta: This is precisely how God intended siblings to be.
Milton: I guess. You’re not really considering running, right?
Marietta: No, not really. This is my swan song.
Milton: Aww, that makes me sad. Like knowing it’s a thoroughbred horse’s final race.
Marietta: I’m at peace with it. I’ve had a good run.
Milton: That’s how elderly people talk before entering hospice.
Marietta: We get it, I’m old and nearing death!
Milton: I’m gonna let you go.
Marietta: That’s for the best.
The next day…
Tammy: Wow, someone’s here early!
Marietta: Couldn’t sleep at all, let alone oversleep. I’ve been too busy thinking.
Amy: I can see how, you don’t do that often.
Marietta: I should fire you on the spot for that one.
Amy: That would be discrimination.
Marietta: How?
Amy: I don’t know, I’ll figure it out.
Tammy: What’s weighing on you?
Marietta: I might want to run for Senate again.
Tammy: Are you kidding? You gotta be kidding.
Amy: Are you a masochist?
Henrietta: She almost won the nomination for president, let’s not act like Marietta’s some loser.
Marietta: Thank you! God, I might be washed-up, but I was something once! I was a source of hope for so many Democrats across America, until I threw in the towel.
Tammy: I guess you’re right. I still don’t think it’s a good idea, because I saw how depressed you were the last time you lost. If you did run, though, I’d support you.
Amy: What if I ran?
Marietta: Oh, here we go again.
Amy: No, I mean it! I think I could be the candidate to flip the seat blue.
Tammy: Amy, your only elected office is as a city councilor. You’re currently the press secretary to the mayor. I don’t think you have the name recognition to make a competitive run. Respectfully.
Amy: Marietta, do you agree with that nonsense?
Marietta: I plead the fifth.
Henrietta: I agree with it.
Amy: You’re just Marietta’s puppet, this is why we need to ban nepotism hires.
Henrietta: I’m not a nepotism hire.
Amy: What job have you held in government before this?
Henrietta: I don’t answer to you!
Marietta: I see I’ve derailed any work that was going on.
Tammy: We weren’t working, trust me.
Marietta: That’s comforting.
Tammy: So how series are you about running?
Amy: I feel like we’ve gone over this so many times in the past. You’re always pondering running for something. Give me a chance to make a run for it!
Marietta: You are right about that. I considered running for governor, I took a while to commit to running for president, now this… maybe I do this too often.
Amy: So put this to bed now and let me go for it!
Marietta: But I might really want this! Tammy, you know how much I loved being a senator.
Tammy: You did love it. I will say, though, I haven’t seen you happier than you’ve been as mayor.
Marietta: That’s a dirty lie!
Tammy: No, this job really suits you.
Marietta: I’m term-limited anyway!
Tammy: I know, but wouldn’t you rather serve out this term than spend it campaigning across the state and then resigning early?
Marietta: I don’t know. Maybe we just do some polling to see if this would even be feasible. I can talk to Milton about it.
Amy: Float my name, too!
Henrietta: Amy, you can’t be so thirsty. It’s unbecoming.
Tammy: Yeah, you’ll never get elected senator acting like such a pick-me. Did I use the right?
Henrietta: Eh…
Marietta: All right, enough about me. Let’s get to focusing on girl power. What do we have on the docket today?
Tammy: Um, there’s a new strip club opening in town.
Marietta: Not what I mean by “girl power.”
Henrietta: Yeah, why would the mayor attend the opening of a strip club? This isn’t Euphoria.
Tammy: I’ve never watched that. Is it good?
Henrietta: Not at all, but also yes.
Tammy: I’m confused.
Henrietta: So is everyone watching Euphoria.
Amy: We’re gonna go talk to students at an all-girl’s school.
Marietta: We do that too much.
Tammy: Yeah, the women’s empowerment initiative is like 80% going to schools to give seminars the students they don’t care about, 15% trying to get women’s sports teams in the city so we have something to do in our free time, and 5% meeting with Sabrina Carpenter, for some reason.
Amy: I don’t know what that’s that me espresso means, but I sure do enjoy it.
Marietta: Why did she arrest me with those little handcuffs at her concert? That made me look like some sort of criminal when they showed it on the news.
Henrietta: It’s hard to explain.
A few days later, at Patty Lynn’s…
Milton: You know who I’ve been talking to lately? Eileen Birkman.
Patty Lynn: Wow, I haven’t heard that name in a while. What did she want to talk about?
Milton: I’m trying to recruit her for a Senate run. I think she’d be a great candidate now that Cheravoix is retiring.
Patty Lynn: You know who I think would be a great candidate? Amy!
Amy: Right?
Kathleen: Eh…
Amy: What does that mean?
Kathleen: You’re a no-name.
Milton: Well, being a “big” name isn’t the most important thing in a candidate. It’s about who can connect best with voters.
Marietta: Remember when I slaughtered her in the race for mayor?
Amy: It wasn’t a slaughter! We both advanced to the runoff!
Marietta: I recall cracking 60% of the vote in that race.
Patty Lynn: Enough! No bickering!
Moira: What if I ran?
Milton: My god, I’m in hell.
Moira: No, I’ve been thinking about it. Imagine a husband-and-wife senate delegation!
Amy: I’m sensing my odds of winning slipping through my hands.
Henrietta: The non-existent odds that didn’t ever exist?
Patty Lynn: No one needs to be nasty.
Marietta: I’ve been reconsidering whether or not I should run.
Amy: Jesus Christ, I thought you were past this!
Milton: You are not running!
Moira: I’d step aside for you.
Patty Lynn: She’s not running! I’m not being abandoned again!
Sarah: This should be good.
Marietta: No, I mean it. I’ve put serious thought into it. If I do some polling that shows I can win, I’d jump in, perhaps.
Patty Lynn: Please don’t.
Marietta: Mom, don’t cry.
Patty Lynn: I’ll stop crying when you promise not to abandon your beloved mother. Your father died, your brother already works in DC, your aunt is evil -
Kathleen: Thank you.
Patty Lynn: - and you’ve just come home after twenty years in DC.
Maria: I don’t know, I think the kids would love having the grandmother in DC with us.
Patty Lynn: You be quiet! I forgot you all abandoned me, too!
Maria: We come home every weekend, we see you just as much as when we lived here full-time.
Patty Lynn: Nice story, but it’s a total lie.
Marietta: I didn’t think this would upset you so much, mom.
Patty Lynn: I just fear being abandoned.
Marietta: I would never abandon you.
Patty Lynn: You did the last time you were in the Senate!
Tammy: Can we talk about how unlikely it is that any Democrat could win a senate seat in this state to begin with?
Kathleen: Milton did it.
Patty Lynn: Well, Milton is a special boy.
Milton: I don’t love the wording, but I appreciate the sentiment.
Amy: I think someone whose moderate views were well-established would be best-positioned to win.
Marietta: You’re not running, Amy!
Amy: Got it, got it.
Marietta: I’m not gonna run, either.
Patty Lynn: Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!
Marietta: It’s not worth upsetting everyone. You all matter more than some cushy senate job.
Milton: So that settles that. It’s gonna be Eileen, a very successful two-term governor, and not any lunatic in this room.
Moira: Well, I’m still considering a run.
Mitch: I’d donate to your campaign!
Milton: Don’t encourage this.
Three days later…
Marietta: What are you ladies watching?
Tammy: Just the news.
Henrietta: There’s an announcement incoming, allegedly.
Marietta: An announcement?
Tammy: She’s coming on now.
Bethany: To the wonderful people of Louisiana, I am thrilled to be throwing my name in the ring for the US Senate once again. After nearly unseating an incumbent, I was undeterred. I’ve fought tooth and nail to stop the outrageous socialist agenda of mayor Landfield here in New Orleans. I believe this movement will resonate with this state again and keep this seat in conservative hands.
Marietta: Damn, I really regret telling the media I wasn’t running. Easy layup.
Amy: I could still -
Tammy: Let it go!
What did you think of the season finale of Marietta? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the midseason premiere of spinoff Raymond Island next week!
