FELIX has his eyes glued to the TV in the bullpen.
ACE
Can you change the channel? I’m getting bored.
FELIX
I’m trying to watch the game, and since this TV blocks my view of the field, I have no choice but to see it this way.
HARRY
I know of something we can watch.
FELIX
The game?
HARRY
No. The Sexiest Gentleman Alive is doing an interview on TV.
MANNY
Cool! What station?
HARRY
60.
MANNY grabs the remote from FELIX and turns it to channel 60.
HARRY
There we go. Tell us how it is, Sexiest Gentleman Alive.
FELIX
Is it really necessary you call him that?
HARRY
He was named it, officially.
FELIX
By who?
HARRY
Some magazine, I think.
ACE
Why is he complaining about hamburgers?
HARRY
Yuck. I hate it when people do that.
DEVIN
He’s not complaining about hamburgers, he just said sometimes he doesn’t like round meat inside a bun that sometimes has cheese and other stuff. He never said he doesn’t like hamburgers.
FELIX
He pretty heavily implied it. Now can we watch the game again?
ACE
Quiet Felix, he’s talking about the National Anthem now. He’s a really great singer, remember how he sang it at one of our games?
FELIX
You remember that but not why Lorenzo is here?
LORENZO
Nobody knows why I’m here. Just accept it.
DEVIN
Guys.
MANNY
What is it?
DEVIN
Do you see that?
MANNY
What, a guy with a half-eaten hamburger hogging up the camera and yelling at the Sexiest Gentleman Alive? Yeah, I see it.
The bullpen watches the interview as a man screams at the Sexiest Gentleman Alive and proceeds to do the interview himself instead.
ACE
Why is he saying the Sexiest Gentleman Alive has a bad singing voice?!
HARRY
He’s funny, isn’t he?
DEVIN
No! Nobody goes after a national treasure’s singing voice.
MANNY
It was pretty good, after all.
LORENZO
Not everyone can get up there and sing the National Anthem.
FELIX
We know. You’re proof.
DEVIN
WHY IS HE SINGING?!?!?!
HARRY
Yeah, now THIS is funny.
DEVIN
NO IT’S NOT! We share a love of Cat Police though so I can’t get too mad.
MANNY
He’s a terrible singer.
LORENZO
Even I can do better than that! Listen—
HARRY
Lorenzo, don’t sing.
LORENZO
Never mind, I won’t sing. Sorry guys.
FELIX
How much longer is this interview? I want to watch the game again.
LORENZO
Probably in a lorenzo.
FELIX
A what?
LORENZO
A lorenzo.
FELIX
Do I want to ask why?
LORENZO
A lorenzo is an unspecified period of time.
FELIX
That was a pointless answer. And why a lorenzo?
LORENZO
I couldn’t think of another word for it.
ACE
A lorenzo sounds like something that team from Santa Fe would try to make people say. No wonder why they’re not gonna be a team next year.
MANNY
They’re getting rid of the Santa Fe team? But they just introduced them this year and they had a huge payroll!
ACE
They also never won a game.
HARRY
I’m about to leave because I just found something out.
FELIX
Uh oh.
HARRY
You know that microphone that a certain somebody put in here for the karaoke night that will hopefully never happen?
LORENZO
I said I was saving it for later!
HARRY
Why’d you plug it in?
LORENZO
Why wouldn’t I?
HARRY
That mic has quite the sound pick-up. If you notice, it’s picking up every word we’re saying.
MANNY, FELIX, HARRY, LORENZO, ACE, and DEVIN look at one another and run out of the bullpen, leaving the game.