The gang is at breakfast.
Leslie: Well, this is it. The last day of filming on cycle one of season seven.
Diane: Does it always feel this sad?
Frances: No, this is new.
Charlotte: Clearly you’re all just sad to be done filming with me.
Frances: No, that’s not it.
Charlotte: Oh, come on. It was a joke! You couldn’t even play along for a second?
Frances: No.
Garry: I’m sad, too. You guys make fun of me but I still love working with you and I feel closer than ever with you this season.
Leslie: I would assume that living in neighboring hotel rooms is responsible for that.
Sam: Physically, this is the closest we will ever be. Thank god, too. I can’t stand Frances barging in on Diane and I anymore to watch TV or play a game or go drinking at the beach.
Frances: You love it!
Sam: I do, you’re right.
Frances: Ha! I knew you loved it.
Leslie: Okay, guys. Everyone finished with breakfast?
Sam: Everyone but Garry. You’d think someone whose job it is to eat food on TV would be a faster eater, but no.
Garry: I’m done, I’m done. Calm down. Let’s get to work.
Leslie: Oh god…
Charlotte: Whats wrong?
Leslie: I just realized we have to see Paul again.
Diane: It’s only one last time, and then we don't have to see him for like four months!
Leslie: I will. I gotta work with him a lot more, pitching ideas for the next season and working out financial issues and all that jazz.
Diane: I know, I said we won’t have to see him. You, unfortunately, are screwed.
Leslie: At least someone escapes him.
At the studio…
Paul: Why do you guys look so sad? Cheer up, you get to go back home to California on Sunday!
Diane: You never know what we want, Paul!
Diane storms to her dressing room.
Sam: She likes it here and is sad we’re leaving. She’s very emotional so as it is. I’m gonna go talk to her.
Paul: Speaking of talking, Leslie, can we talk?
Leslie: Sure. The rest of you should probably go get to hair and makeup.
Frances: What, are you saying we don’t look terrific?
Garry: She’s right. Let’s go.
Paul: All right, now that we’re alone -
Leslie: Let me just say that I’m deeply frightened and need you to calm me very quickly.
Paul: Nothing to be nervous about. I’m simply asking you what your plans are for the future of this show.
Leslie: I’d prefer to keep it going if that’s okay with you.
Paul: No, not that. I know you want to keep it going.
Leslie: You did not clarify that.
Paul: Where are you planning to film it? The new season premiered last night to huge ratings. It’s most likely because the whole group is back, but people were very positive on the new location. Let me know what you want to do, preferably before we’re out of here. If you’re sure you don’t want to come back, I’ll have the sets destroyed.
Leslie: Oh, no. Don’t do that.
Paul: I would never without consulting you first.
Leslie: Okay, thanks. I’m gonna think about this, consult the cast, and let you know. You’re sure you’re fine with any option?
Paul: I’d prefer that you stay here, because I think it’ll be easy to re-up the tax credits, considering that we are pretty much singlehandedly responsible for the Governor being chosen as Vice President. If you want to try to film in some other state or go home, all good.
Leslie: That’s very reasonable and, dare I say, nice of you to consider how we feel.
Paul: Like I said, this is Paul 2.0. More understanding, nicer, happier.
Leslie: You drive me nuts sometimes -
Paul: Aww, thanks.
Leslie: However, you have been almost pleasurable to be around the past month.
Paul: You as well!
Two hours later…
Sam: My goodness Diane, it looks like we’ve made it to the end of another season.
Diane: Never thought we’d be back here.
Sam: Yeah, it’s pretty amazing. We’re back on our show -
Frances: Hey!
Diane: Our includes you!
Sam (whispering): No it doesn’t.
Diane: Was also got to go all the way to exotic Rhode Island to film. Saw new things, and met twelve new friends along the way. Now we’ve got three left.
Sam: Oh, my, I forgot about that! We gotta name a winner! These three have to be wondering who’s winning.
Diane: Holly, you’ve had something of a bumpy ride to the finals, landing in the bottom two more than anyone this season but still delivering the judges consistently terrific bakes even in your worst weeks, winning Top Baker once.
Sam: Ella, you had a terrible start to your journey, ending up in the bottom two on your first week here. You rose quick, though, and you were named Top Baker twice this season.
Diane: Alec, you’ve been the most consistent baker, mostly ending up in the middle of the pack, but still delivering memorable bakes and winning Top Baker twice.
Sam: Only one of you can win, and the judges took tonight’s bake into consideration, as well as your performances this season.
Diane: The judges are the only ones who know who one. They fiercely deliberated this decision and agonized over who the pick. It took them an hour to decide, and they wrote the name on this card.
Sam: Then, they sealed it so Diane couldn’t sneak a peek.
Diane: Like I’d ever… yeah, I would.
Sam: You ready to light this candle?
Diane: Whenever you are.
Sam: All right, the winner of Bake Your Heart Out is…
Diane: Ella!
Sam: Congratulations, Ella! That is a wrap on Bake Your Heart Out! We will see you all next year!
Leslie: Cut! Great job, everyone. Bake Your Heart Out: Rhode Island is done!
Frances: That was so nice but I’m so sad.
Charlotte: You’re sounding like Diane now.
Diane: I’m sad too!
Sam: You guys do realize Rhode Island isn’t dying, right? We can come back whenever we want to. We’re extremely rich and don’t have any responsibilities beyond this show.
Frances: That’s a good point.
Sam: That’s what I’m known for.
Garry: We’re going to dinner, right?
Leslie: Yes! I even got the manager of the Riviera to give Melanie two hours off so she can come with to celebrate the end of filming.
Diane: Oh god, I forgot about Melanie. We’re gonna have to say goodbye to Melanie!
Sam: Again, she’s not dying either. We can call Melanie. Melanie has a phone. We don’t even have to harass her at work anymore to speak with her. She’s chosen to be our friend for some reason.
Garry: She’s one of the only people that’s actually nice to me, I’ll miss having her around to defend me.
Sam: Just call her when we’re being mean to you.
Charlotte: Poor Melanie. Her phone will be ringing all the time.
One hour later, at dinner…
Melanie: I can’t believe you guys did this. It’s so sweet, I’m gonna miss you guys.
Sam: We still have tomorrow yet.
Diane: We’ll be packing then, though. Not much time for chitchat.
Melanie: I want you guys to know that I will be here on Sunday when you guys check out. It felt important to be here to send you off so I begged for the early shirt that day.
Diane: We all appreciate that so much. In fact, we appreciate you so much.
Melanie: You are all too kind.
Frances: Before you, the best experience I ever had with someone at the front desk at a hotel was in New Orleans when one lady gave me her leftover beignet.
Melanie: I don’t know, that sounds pretty great. Surely she’s better than me.
Frances: She’s not on my Christmas card list. Well, not anymore. You are, though!
Melanie: I’m a Christmas card friend? Wow, that’s pretty impressive.
Charlotte: I’ve enjoyed book club with you; I read books I never thought I would. Thanks to you, I now know the life story of Debbie Reynolds.
Melanie: Informing people about the life of Grandma Aggie from Halloweentown is my greatest contribution to society, I’d say.
Garry: Sam told me to call you whenever they’re being mean to me so I have someone to bak me up. Charlotte told me I’d annoy you with all the calls, though.
Charlotte: What a snitch!
Melanie: I would be happy to defend you. I like you a lot, Garry!
Diane: Hands-down, the nicest words ever spoken about Garry.
Leslie: Melanie, when you stepped into our lives, this whole experience was made entirely better. You are single-handedly responsible for making us love this state and love filming here.
Charlotte: We made such fun of this little shoe-sized state and now we’re all in tears over leaving. It’s quite curious.
Melanie: Rhode Island has so much to offer other than me. I doubt I’m the reason you loved it.
Diane: Name one thing better than you here.
Melanie: Our clams.
Sam: Those are pretty good.
Melanie: They sure are!
Diane: They don’t compare to you, though.
Melanie: At this point, I almost feel like you’re eulogizing me. You’re all being so sweet and talking me up. You’re just going home, we can talk whenever you want.
Charlotte: We’ve tried telling Diane that, but she keeps crying whenever we make reference to even going home.
Frances: She didn’t even want to come here and she’s the saddest of us all.
Diane: I had no objections to it. And you’re crying, too!
Frances: I know I am, I’m just trying to throw you under the bus to distract myself from the fact that I have to go back to that big, cold, lonely, quiet house in California. It’s so lively here.
Sam: That’s because they had to fit all of the residents of this state in one small neighborhood. Of course they’re lively, they’re living on top of one another.
Charlotte: Always Sam with the jokes. What would we do without her?
Diane: Probably be happier.
Sam: Oh, screw you, too.
Garry: You’ve been quiet tonight, Leslie.
Sam: First time for everything, I guess.
Leslie: I don’t talk that much!
Charlotte: Not compared to Sam or Frances, that is.
Frances: Hey! Why would you say something so true?
Leslie: There’s something on my mind.
Diane: Who died?
Sam: Why is that your first thought?
Diane: I’m old, I’m used to it.
Sam: You act like we’re Grace and Frankie or something. We’re only somewhat old.
Leslie: I have a question for all of you. Paul was talking to me today and wants to know what we’re planning to do for filming next season. He said he doesn’t care where we film it.
Garry: That’s funny! He also doesn’t care about me!
Sam: Don’t make this about you, Garry.
Garry: I wasn’t trying to! I was making a joke.
Sam: I make the jokes.
Leslie: Thoughts on where to film the next cycle would be much appreciated.
Sam: Oh, right.
Diane: I think you all know where I would like to film.
Leslie: Iowa?
Diane: Of course! I do love corn, after all. Seriously, though, I would love to return to Rhode Island.
Leslie: One vote for Rhode Island.
Frances: I’d like to move somewhere else like, I don’t know, Michigan. Sorry, Melanie.
Melanie: It’s no problem!
Diane: Frances only wants to film in Michigan because that’s where her family lives. She’s biased, thrown her vote out!
Leslie: I’m not going to throw her vote out.
Charlotte: I want to stay. It’s so nice here, I can use some time away from California.
Diane: That’s the spirit!
Leslie: Two does for Rhode Island.
Garry: I want to go home to California.
Sam: We should just throw his vote out just because he’s Garry. Garry doesn’t get an opinion.
Garry: You are too kind!
Leslie: Sam, where’s your head at?
Sam: I’m actually getting to see my wife while we’re here. So, I want to keep filming here.
Leslie: I want to stay, too. So does Paul.
Sam: I say we shouldn’t count Paul, either.
Leslie: It doesn’t matter, we’re still staying.
Diane: Paul wanting to stay almost makes me want to go to Michigan with Frances. Almost.
Frances: People often say that I am almost persuasive. Almost.
Leslie: So, we’re gonna keep filming here in Rhode Island.
Melanie: I’m so happy I’ll get to see you guys again! I kinda just assumed we’d be long-distance friends from now on so this is a nice surprise.
Charlotte: Feel better now, Diane?
Diane: A little.
Leslie: Good! I’m glad I can help.
Sam: You done crying?
Diane: Yes, I’m done crying.
Sam: Good. I’m ordering some of that Grape-Nut pudding for the last time.
The next night…
Leslie: Hey, guys! Frances wanted to know if you guys wanted to come down and watch the sunset with us at the beach one last time.
Diane: I’m sorry, we’re so busy packing up all my junk!
Leslie: Didn’t you start packing beforehand?
Diane: Of course I didn’t, have you met me?
Leslie: That’s the answer I expected. Shame you’re gonna miss out on the sunset.
Sam: No way would we ever get to see the sunset on the beach in California. That’s practically Nebraska.
Leslie: It’s symbolic. You’re not gonna get to see the Atlantic again for a while.
Sam: It’s water. It all looks the same.
Leslie: If that’s what you want to believe. I’ll let you guys get back to packing. See you tomorrow!
Sam: You better get Garry down to that beach! That will make it better!
Garry: I’m already here, Sam!
Sam: Ah! Away, Nosferatu!
The next morning…
Sam: Diane… Diane…
Diane What?
Sam: It’s time to get up. We’re leaving Rhode Island.
Diane: I’m not getting up. I’m not leaving.
Sam: Come on. We’ll be back in a few months.
Diane: I know.
Sam: Then what’s wrong?
Diane: I’m tired.
Sam: Oh, jeez. I thought you were pouting again.
Diane: Have you ever known me to pout?
Sam: No comment.
Two hours later, in the lobby…
Frances: What time is our flight?
Leslie: Eleven. T.F. Green Airport is a forty-minute drive so we have about ten minutes until we need to go.
Charlotte: We’d have more time if Diane didn’t need to go get a picture of the sunrise.
Diane: That took five minutes!
Charlotte: On what planet?
Diane: We need to get one last group photo together, okay?
Melanie: Sounds like a plan!
Leslie: We can use my phone! I just got a new one that’s great for pictures!
Frances: Garry, you take it.
Garry: What? You don't want me in it
Diane: Of course we want you in it! Frances is just joking.
Frances: Eh…
Leslie: Okay everyone, gather round.
Melanie: I’ll take the picture, I have the longest arms.
Sam: Excuse me?
Melanie: Oh, sorry. You can take it.
Sam: Just messing with ya.
Melanie: Everyone smile!
Melanie takes the picture.
Leslie: All right guys.
Diane: Oh boy. I’m feeling it again.
Charlotte: Please don’t tell me you have to go to the bathroom again.
Diane: No, I wanna cry.
Sam: You can do it on the road. We gotta go!
Melanie: I hope you guys have a safe flight home. Text me when you get home, okay?
Diane: I will! It’ll be late, but I will.
Melanie: I’ll be waiting for it!
Frances: You just know once we finally leave, Melanie will say “thank god those loons are finally gone.”
Melanie: I would never! I’ve loved having you guys around. My job has never been so interesting before.
Diane: You’re too kind.
Sam: Really, we haven’t earned such nice words.
Leslie: Guys, we need to hit the road.
Garry: Yeah, Carly is waiting in the car.
Leslie: Melanie, it’s been so nice knowing you. I’ll call you, and I’ll see you early next year.
Melanie: Safe travels, once again. I’m gonna go get back to work!
Diane: Okay, guys. Let’s go home.
What did you think of the finale of Bake Your Heart Out? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the finale of spinoff show Frances In the Kitchen on Monday at 8 and the premiere of Raymond Island next Thursday at 9!
