Marietta Season 3 Premiere - Tweet Me Right

Marietta Season 3 Episode 1
Tweet Me Right

Marietta is at Patty Lynn and Martin’s for dinner.
Patty Lynn: Marietta, how is everything going?
Marietta: Wow, so formal.
Patty Lynn: I haven’t seen you all week, I guess I forgot how to talk to you.
Marietta: That doesn’t even make any sense. You don’t see Milton for a week at a time and you talk to him just fine.
Milton: That is debatable.
Patty Lynn: I just want to know how my daughter is doing, is that so wrong? And I’ll deal with you later, Milton.
Milton: Oh boy, I’m scared.
Martin: You probably should be.
Marietta: I’m just dealing with a lot at work this week.
Tammy: You’re about to be dealing with a lot more.
Patty Lynn: She better not be! This is family dinner and it will not be interrupted!
Marietta: What happened, Tammy?
Tammy: Councilman Barrack. That’s what’s wrong.
Marietta: What did he do besides be a massive pain in my ass?
Tammy: He sent out an interesting tweet tonight.
Marietta: Is he opposing the budget bill?
Tammy: I wish it was that.
Marietta: Can you just spit it out? What did he say?
Tammy: He wrote, and you know this is really from him because I truly can not make this up, “Amy Applewhite is a hypocritical bitch who needs to learn some respect. Maybe she can come to my house and the gators can teach her about respect. Or are you too chicken, Amy?”
Kathleen: What does that even mean?
Tammy: No clue.
Marietta: He’s threatening her, obviously. Why, though?
Tammy: Her lobbying for the budget bill, I’d assume. Though there’s also tweets on here about women and Hispanic people and also one about the jews and all of these are far too offensive to read at a family dinner so I think it’s possible Reggie is just losing it a bit.
Marietta: Now I’m curious.
Tammy: You shouldn’t be.
Kathleen: Read it!
Tammy: I will not read the racist or anti-semitic ones! Or most of the sexist one. I’ll just say that there was a reference to women belonging in the kitchen.
Patty Lynn: What year does he think it is? I was out there marching for equality when he was in diapers!
Marietta: We know, mom.
Tammy: What are we gonna do about this?
Marietta: Nothing now. We’re gonna finish our dinner, then we’ll go to Amy’s and discuss it with her.
Patty Lynn: Aww, you do love me!
Marietta: Of course I do! You think I’d spend every Saturday with you if I didn’t?
Martin: I’m honestly should you still do, honey. You too, Milton.
Milton: I’m not shocked I do. I have nothing better going on.
Marietta: What can I say? Landfields stick together. Through thick and thin, whether we have something better to do or not.
Kathleen: That is deeply touching.
Marietta: I know.
One hour later, Marietta and Tammy leave family dinner and go to Amy’s.
Amy: Marietta! Tammy! What are you guys doing here on a Saturday night?
Marietta: Tell her, Tammy.
Amy: Did I do something dumb and not realize? Did I jeopardize the budget bill somehow?
Tammy: No, you didn’t do anything this time.
Amy: Yes! Victory!
Marietta: Could we come on and just talk with you? I promise it’ll only be ten minutes.
Don (Amy’s husband): Who is it, honey?
Amy: Jehovah’s Witnesses!
Don: Let ‘em in. Can’t be more painful than this movie.
Tammy: You’re watching a movie?
Amy: Yeah. Some Netflix horror movie. I love scary stuff. Don thinks it’s dumb. He puts up with it anyway.
Tammy: Fitting you’re watching a horror movie, because what we’re about to tell you is pretty nightmarish, as well.
Amy: You’re scaring me now. Come on in. I might need to be sitting when you tell me.
Marietta and Tammy enter Amy’s house.
Tammy: You ready?
Amy: Did someone die? Did President Howard declare war?
Tammy: No. Here, look at my phone. These tweets are from Councilman Barrack.
Amy: Oh. Dear lord.
Tammy: That’s actually a better reaction than I expected.
Amy: Why would he tweet any of this/
Marietta: He’s insane.
Amy: H- h- he threatened to feed me to alligators.
Marietta: I know, it’s bad.
Don: What’s wrong?
Amy: Reggie Barrack threatened to feed me to alligators!
Tammy: That’s not all. He also said sexist and anti-semitic things.
Amy: Completely missed those. How lovely.
Marietta: So, you’re my press secretary.
Amy: I am?
Marietta: Hardy har har.
Amy: I’m glad you appreciate my humor. I might have to move to avoid death by gator.
Marietta: How do you suppose I deal with this?
Amy: Shoot him? It’s in self-defense!
Marietta: Not if I do it!
Tammy: Do you two realize how insane you sound?
Amy: Yes. That’s why I say it.
Marietta: What are we actually going to do?
Amy: When is the council vote on the budget bill?
Marietta: Tammy? When is it?
Tammy: How do neither of you know?
Marietta: I’m very busy, Tammy.
Tammy: It’s happening on Monday.
Amy: I don’t want you to put the passage of the budget package in jeopardy. Wait to call him out until then. You’re old, you could conceivably claim that you didn't know he made the comments because you barely check social media.
Tammy: Hopefully the media doesn’t question her about it before the big vote!
Marietta: Wait a minute, back it up. I’m old?
Amy: You’re not young.
Ten minutes later, Marietta and Tammy depart Amy’s and are stopped by NOAN reporter Jenna Chavez.
Jenna: Mayor Landfield is here at Press Secretary Applewhite’s home! Mayor Landfield, what do you have to say about Councilman Barrack’s tweets?
Marietta: They were revolting. Very unbecoming of an elected official.
Jenna: Do you think he needs to resign?
Marietta: *Sighing* Probably. I would think so.
Tammy: That’s all for now, the mayor is very busy.
Marietta and Tammy get into the car.
Tammy: Marietta…?
Marietta: Yes, Tammy? You look mad.
Tammy: I’m not thrilled.
Marietta: Why ever would you not be thrilled?
Tammy: You weren’t supposed to respond yet. The budget bill might be dead now.
Marietta: I don’t think it’s dead.
Tammy: I don’t think the city council will take too kindly to a mayor they already dislike telling one of them what to do.
Marietta: I doubt any of them will even stand by Reggie after that.
Tammy: He’s very influential. He has friends on the council, and now he’ll lobby against the budget. We just have to hope the majority of the council believes in decency.
Marietta: We’re screwed.
The next day, and Martin and Patty Lynn’s…
Milton: I canceled an appearance on Meet the Press for this bonus family day. You better have something planned, mom.
Patty Lynn: I made lasagna.
Milton: That’s good enough.
Kathleen: I don’t know if I trust her to make food. She was the first elimination on Bake Your Heart Out this season.
Patty Lynn: Just making it there means I’m good! Be quiet!
Kathleen: I’m just messing with you.
Tammy: I have a killer lasagna recipe. I’m a pretty harsh judge!
Patty Lynn: This is your recipe. You gave it to me, remember?
Tammy: Oh, right. You better not screw it up!
Patty Lynn: I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Marietta: I hate to interrupt this lasagna conversation, but I’m very concerned.
Patty Lynn: You’re always concerned, just relax today.
Marietta: That’s easy to say when your top concern is whether you’re good at making lasagna or not.
Kathleen: She got you! She got you good!
Patty Lynn: I can kick you out of my house whenever I want to, just remember that!
Martin: No, you can’t.
Kathleen: Haha!
Milton: Y’all are weird.
Kathleen: I know.
Martin: Marietta, look! That city councilor is on the news!
Marietta: How did I not see that.
On the TV, Reggie Barrack is making a public statement.
Reggie: To the people of New Orleans: you have my deepest apologies. The words that I tweeted last night do not represent me as a person. I know that that may be hard to believe, as politicians so often lie their way out of scandals. I won’t lie to you. Last night, I made a drunken mistake and tweeted things that no one ever should. I insulted multiple groups that I’ve spent my career building up relations with, and I attacked someone that I consider a long-time friend. I will understand if you don’t forgive me, I messed up and crossed many lines. However, I will remain on the city council and continue my work fighting for the underprivileged and underserved. I have also made the decision to begin attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings beginning this week, as I have a problem with alcohol that I have to deal with. I hope that these actions will show how dedicated I am to bettering myself and becoming the best councilor for New Orleans that I can be.
Marietta mutes the TV.
Marietta: Well that went…
Tammy: Badly.
Milton: I thought he had a nice speech. His speechwriter did a good job!
Tammy: Not badly for him. For us.
Marietta: How do you figure?
Tammy: You basically called for a man going through severe trauma to step down. The media won’t paint that in a good way at all. Now the council and the people will think you overstepped and they’ll be coming for you.
Marietta: Are you sure about that? I thought his presser reflected pretty poorly on him, to be completely honest. I’ve gotten drunk before without acting like a raging anti-semite. I’ve acted dumb, but not that dumb.
Martin: You’ve gotten drunk? When?
Milton: At least you’ll admit you do dumb things when you’re drunk. Remember that keg stand?
Marietta: I wasn’t drunk for that.
Milton: Oh…
Kathleen: Marietta did a keg stand?
Martin: Tammy even quit as her campaign manager over it and I took over for a few weeks. It was fun!
Marietta: Not for me! And we’re getting off-topic again.
Kathleen: Sorry. I always feel like I’m the one that’s taking us off-topic.
Patty Lynn: That’s because you are.
Marietta: Can I get all of your honest opinions about this Reggie thing?
Martin: Of course! You can always count on me to be honest with you. Your mother, not so much.
Patty Lynn: Hey!
Marietta: What do you think will happen tomorrow with the budget bill? Do you think the council will pas it or will Reggie convince them to reject it? I’m just trying to prepare myself for the vote because I’m a bit concerned. More than a bit, actually.
Kathleen: I don’t think it’ll be a big deal. If you wrote a fair budget, they won’t reject it for such petty reasons.
Tammy: Clearly. you haven’t read about this city council.
Kathleen: I worked on the House Budget Committee -
Martin: Back in the 1700s.
Kathleen: When we were making up the budget plan, we made sure to write it fairly so it could pass the House and Senate and get signed into law. We didn't want to have to keep re-writing it. I’m assuming you did the same and didn’t make any ridiculous additions to the bill.
Marietta: Do you consider a billion dollars to fund a new water park “ridiculous.”
Kathleen: No, not at all!
Patty Lynn: I’ll give you my honest opinion, Marietta.
Marietta: That is what I asked for.
Patty Lynn: I don’t think they’ll pass it. They don’t like us, they'll deny anything we bring to them.
Marietta: I have thought of that, but since there is, unfortunately, no way to stop being a Landfield, I’m not gonna focus too much on that part.
Martin: Unfortunately?
Marietta: You know what I meant!
Martin: I know. The name carries around some baggage.
Tammy: It’s a good name, though. I like it better than “Yarborough.” I used to have a cool last name. Not anymore!
Kathleen: What was your maiden name?
Tammy: Harbinger.
Kathleen: So that’s why Marietta’s cursed.
Marietta: Milton, what do you think?
Milton: I agree with mom. The city council put me through so much and rarely approved my plans just because they were jealous of our political dynasty. They’re just obstructionists. Your Reggie comments won’t change much. Don’t expect them to help us out ever, not just now. Now, if you excuse me, I’d like to talk about something other than politics because I’m dreading what Kate and Ellie are gonna put me through when I get back to DC tomorrow. We’re also in the middle of passing a budget bill and it’s a hot mess, as the kids say.
Marietta: Okay, let’s watch a movie.
Patty Lynn: No, let’s play a game!
Marietta: Fine by me, what do you want to play?
Patty Lynn: The Game of Life. I have a Halloween version!
Marietta: Oh boy…
The next day, at the city council meeting…
John Jackson: Mayor Landfield, Chief of Staff Yarborough, Secretary Applewhite, thank you for joining us today for the discussion of the budget for the fiscal year 2021. You have previously worked with multiple members of this council, including myself, to adopt this budget and we’ve had the weekend to review the finished plan. We’re now going to discuss it before we vote on it. Councilor Tran, you can begin questioning.
Helene Tran: Thank you, Mr. President. Mayor Landfield, your $750 million budget proposal is the largest in the history of this city and includes a 75% increase in road funding. Why should New Orleanians have to pay for such a drastic budget increase?
Marietta: Well, you see, we’ve had an increased number of hurricanes in the past year that has necessitated a large increase in funding for infrastructure. This budget, which is an increase of $43 million from my first budget, actually decreases funding for some social programs so that we can adequately fund repairs to our public roads and utilities.
Helene: And you think it’s a good thing that you’re cutting funding for social programs? Why?
Marietta: That was actually a suggestion from Councilor Adams.
Helene: It wasn’t a good one.
Marietta: Oof.
John: Councilor O’Sullivan, a question?
Pat O’Sullivan: Mayor Landfield, your budget also includes a ten percent increase in funding for the parks department. Why is that necessary right now? They were doing fine before.
Marietta: Councilor, if I may. Have you seen the parks in this city lately? They’re a mess. They need repairs just like the rest of the city.
Pat: This isn’t a joking matter.
Marietta: Who said I was joking?
Pat: I don’t think you answered my question adequately and I don’t think you will, so I yield.
Marietta: President Jackson, can I have a sidebar with my staff?
John: Yes, Mayor Landfield. One minute.
Marietta: This is not going well.
Tammy: You think?
Marietta: Yeah, I’d say this is a pretty big disaster. They all look mad. Except for Moira, she’s not vindictive.
Amy: Just try to appeal to their senses. Explain why this budget is needed. They’re not going to leave the city without a budget just because they’re mad at you.
Marietta: You would.
Amy: Yeah, but I’m an ass.
Marietta: You are that.
John: Mayor Landfield, your time is up.
Marietta: Can I say something, President Jackson?
John: Whatever you want to say. The floor is yours. For one minute.
Marietta: I know that I alienated a lot of the councilors here when I called for Councilor Barrack to resign. I was ambushed leaving Secretary Applewhite’s home and I reacted without thinking. However, I stand by what I said. Councilor Barrack said things that should Neve be uttered by an elected official. However, we need to put all of that aside and actually do what’s right for New Orleans. Being hostile to me and voting this budget down doesn’t help councilor Barrack or anyone in this city. It just hurts me, and all of us. Don’t be petty. You know this budget is beneficial for New Orleans and extremely fair. Heck, most of you helped me out in making it. Do the r-
John: Your time is up.
Marietta: All right. I think I said everything I wanted to say, anyway. Thank you all for listening.
Two hours later, after Marietta, Amy and Tammy leave the meeting…
Marietta: So that went…
Tammy: Terribly.
Marietta: Tied vote. Three to three. What does that even mean?
Amy: It means we have to do this all over again next week after looking over some of their changes.
Marietta: Does one of those changes involve me no longer being mayor?
Amy: That would certainly make it easier to pass the bill.
Marietta: Thanks for lifting my spirits.
Amy: You asked!
Tammy: What I’m surprised about is that Reggie voted for the budget along with Moira and John.
Amy: I think it just shows that it didn’t fail to pass because of what Marietta said about Reggie, but rather because they passionately dislike her.
Marietta: Don’t you think you’re to blame for that after the election?
Amy: Me? No, not at all!

What did you think of the premiere of Marietta? Comment your thoughts, listen to the official season three playlist, vote in the poll below, and make sure to return next week for an all-new episode!

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