In the first story, Matt and Colleen are trying to get a settlement after her accident on their wedding night. The motel gives them a settlement of two million dollars. Jen tries to get them to mull it over, but Matt and Colleen take it instantly. Matt is having a meeting with the whole family, thanking them for always believing in him. Matt shows them a new cash grab, and the family (other than Greg) is pretty thrilled by it. Matt tries to give John some money, but he won't take it, saying that he's proud of Matt for "pushing" Colleen off the balcony. Colleen announces that the entire family is going to Las Vegas, and they'll be paying for it. On their way there, Jen breaks a kinda important piece of news to them. The motel filed for bankruptcy, so bye bye cash. They won't be able to fun the Vegas trip. Or, well, anything.
In the second story, Jen and Greg need to find Lark's pacifier. She's having a fit, but eventually Greg finds her pacifier. Unfortunately for Jen, he also finds his ukulele. Once they get Lark to sleep, Jen and Greg try to figure out how they can break Lark of her pacifier addiction. Greg suggests that they tell her to give it to the "Paci Fairy." Jen doesn't want to lie to Lark though, and she wants to talk to her about it. It's not working though, and Jen goes full steam ahead with the Paci Fairy idea. She had Greg tell her about the Paci Fairy and how she'll get a present if she gives him her pacifier. She also tells her about the Paci Monster, which scares Lark into giving up her pacifier. They send it off the with the entire family watching, and the floating pacifier hits the power lines. Oops.
In the third story, Sophia is driving down the road on a lawnmower throwing eggs at things when a cop pulls her over. When asked by Heather why she did it, Sophia says that she's bored at John and Joan's. John decides to punish her the old-fashioned way: with some hard labor. He sends her up into the attic, but when he goes to check on her, she's gone. He tries to find her. He asks for Tim's help, but Tim is no help. Heather is even less helpful, telling Sophia to stay hidden so John can look for her (according to Heather, it'll teach her what hard work is or something like that). John then enlists Tank's help. Also no help. John also scares the heck out of a woman by saying that a little girl escaped from his attic. Then Joan arrives, and tells her that maybe Sophia is at her house. And just then, John finally finds the only person that's of any real help to him, and he finds her. He asks her what's wrong, and she explains that she misses her house and that she doesn't know how to live anywhere else. He helps her get over it though, and they quickly leave because the house is literally falling apart.
In the fourth story, Tyler has an announcement for his family. He and Clementine have decide to get divorced. Later at John and Joan's, Tyler and Clementine come in and act totally normal. As in, not at all like their marriage is coming to an end. They ask them what's going on, and they say that while they're divorcing, pretty much nothing else will change. They change their relationship statuses on social media, and Clementine gets a whole bunch of notifications while Tyler gets zip. Tim and Heather come to visit them, and try to talk about what's going on. They explain that their marriage is actually a really good one, but they don't listen to them. Tyler drops Clementine off for a date, and things are really, really weird. Then, Tim and Heather get a call from Tyler, who is an emotional mess.
This was a good premiere of Life In Pieces. I really enjoyed the first three stories, especially the second, but I wasn't really a fan of the fourth one. However, John calling Heather the same damn liar she's always been was really hilarious. Whether the fourth story was disappointing or not, it's still great to have the Shorts back after what feels like so long away.
My Score: 8/10
My Grade: B
What did you think of the third season premiere of Life in Pieces? Let me know in the comments, and don't forget to vote in the poll below.
