Aimee walks into her office and falls into her chair.
Denise: Long day, huh?
Aimee: Denise… why did I do this?
Denise: It’s been, what, six months? You’re already burned out?
Aimee: It’s hot out, I’m waking up at like three AM because of this kid, I’m leaking everywhere, and I have to deal with the reporters following me, leadership breathing down my neck trying to stop me from ever letting the Democrats do anything, I’m so tired. I was supposed to be back in Washington. I miss my mom, she’d be able to talk me down.
Denise: Give her a call.
Aimee: What time is it?
Denise: Seven.
Aimee: Jesus… where does the time go?
Denise: Well, confirmation hearings take up a good chunk of that.
Aimee: Why does Delphy even need a Transportation Secretary? What does that job even do?
Denise: You’re the one on the Transportation Committee.
Aimee: Because no one else wanted it!
Denise: Lucky you, you get to deal with Senator Scatterbrain as the chair.
Aimee: Why did Hagelin let Alma Fredham chair a committee? That woman’s brain is cooked. Cooked!
Denise: It’s the Transportation Committee, no one cares.
Aimee: They care about commerce, that’s really the main point of the committee. Surely a dementia patient shouldn’t be in charge of that…
Denise: I struggle to find myself caring. I just want to go home.
Aimee: Go ahead, I think we’re done for tonight.
Denise: Don’t we have bills to read for tomorrow?
Aimee: The Democrats have fifty-nine seats, but don’t have the presidency. None of this matters.
Denise: Man, you’re really gassed out tonight.
Aimee: I’m just drained. I’m gonna call my parents, check in on what’s going on out there, and then go home to my husband, kids, and insane aunt before falling face-first into bed and hopefully suffocating.
Denise: Aimee, are you suffering from postpartum or something?
Aimee: No, I’m suffering from exhaustion. And career frustration. Why couldn’t I have just become a lawyer like my mother kept telling me?
Denise: We never would have met then!
Aimee: And what a shame that would have been for you. You could have had a boss that was halfway normal and didn’t hate their job!
Denise: How are you gonna make it another five and a half years?
Aimee: Hopes and prayers!
Denise: For the Senate to dissolve?
Aimee: Oh, that would be heaven!
Denise: All right, I’m heading out for the night. See you tomorrow, big day!
Aimee: What’s the day?
Denise: Wall Street hearings.
Aimee: Oh, right! I forgot I was on Banking, too. Been spending too much time on CST.
Denise: We’re not on Central Standard Time.
Aimee: Commerce, Science and Transportation.
Denise: Oh, it’s such an irrelevant committee, I forgot you were on it.
Aimee: We just spent ten minutes complaining about it?
Denise: It’s been a long night. Goodnight.
Aimee: Goodnight!
Denise leaves and Aimee calls her parents. Kimmy answers.
Kimmy: Aimee! Isn’t it late for you to be awake?
Aimee: It’s seven o’clock.
Kimmy: I called you last week at six your time and Dave told me you were asleep.
Aimee: Yeah, I was taking a nap!
Kimmy: That’s late for a nap.
Aimee: Kimmy, I have children and I work in Congress. I get sleep whenever I can.
Kimmy: Is Congress really hard work? I always hear about how you guys aren’t doing anything and what new ways you’re screwing up America.
Aimee: Can you put mom on, please?
Kimmy: Already tired of me?
Aimee: Well, I was trying to get her to begin with, and then you answered and I thought we could talk, and then you immediately dragged my job.
Kimmy: I’m just messing with you!
Aimee: I know, but it’s been a long day and I need to be reassured by my mom that it’s all worth it.
Kimmy: You have me for that!
Aimee: Put mom on.
Kimmy: Fine, fine! What ever happened to sisterly bonds…
Aimee: Mom. Now.
Kimmy: I’ll find her. It’s four o’clock, maybe she’s still down for her nap.
Aimee: Why must you try my patience?
Kimmy: It’s so much fun! Here’s mom, though.
Cherie: Aimee, was your sister giving you trouble?
Aimee: Yes, but it’s okay, I’d be a fool not to expect that from her.
Cherie: So how are you?
Kimmy: Is she selling me out?
Cherie: Shush.
Aimee: Me?
Cherie: No, your sister’s yapping again.
Aimee: Oh, good, I was afraid I pissed off the only person I can vent to.
Cherie: Go ahead, vent. I’m here to listen.
Aimee: I’m so exhausted, mom. I don’t know why I did this.
Cherie: You can go if you want.
Aimee: I can’t!
Cherie: You kept the murderer out of office, you served your community. Come home to us!
Ernesto: Oh no, Cherie’s started her weekly plea to get Aimee to quit and move home.
Cherie: It’s not weekly! Biweekly.
Aimee: Dad! Hi!
Ernesto: Did she say something?
Cherie: Honey, I’m putting you on speakerphone. No mocking your sister now!
Aimee: I wasn’t doing that to begin with, even though I could have.
Cherie: So you’re not quitting?
Aimee: No!
Cherie: Then I’ll give you words of encouragement: your state put their trust in you, we’re rooting for you, just do your best, that’s all we ask. We’re all proud of you.
Kimmy: Do you actually believe that?
Aimee: Can you take me off speaker?
Ernesto: No, mija! Don’t you want to talk to dad?
Aimee: I just don’t need her sarcasm right now.
Ernesto: Kimmy, shut the hell up!
Kimmy: I’ll go make my tea.
Ernesto: Thank god, we don’t need you making Aimee even more sad.
Aimee: I’m not sad, I’m just tired. I feel like I get nothing done, and this is all pointless. Actually, yeah, I’m a little sad.
Ernesto: Talk to your guy. What’s his name? Victor?
Aimee: Oh my god, dad. Did you forget I’m in the Senate now?
Ernesto: I don’t keep track of politics, honey! I just go in every two years, tick the Republican boxes because your mother tells me so, aside from Brian Delphy, because you tell me not to.
Cherie: Attaboy!
Aimee: You want me to talk to Greg Sherwood? And say what? He’s the minority leader in a 59-41 Senate, he doesn’t really have much sway.
Ernesto: Wow, your job really does suck.
Aimee: You’re not making me feel better about it.
Ernesto: I’m sorry, I just have to be honest. What the hell do you guys even do in the minority?
Aimee: Pray ten Democrats lose in the next four years.
Ernesto: Well, that sounds like a good plan.
Cherie: Aimee, you are the most centrist Republican in a Senate with a near-supermajority. You can shape policy by working with the Democrats. It’s not hopeless!
Aimee: He vetoes everything we pass, and we don’t ever have enough votes to override it.
Cherie: Well, maybe we’ll get lucky and the Democrats will win the presidency next year so this can all be fixed.
Aimee: The election’s in 2025 now, we somehow passed a law to change that.
Cherie: What?
Aimee: Don’t get me started, it’s really weird. I think the Democrats are just trying to flip the Virginia governor race so they went along with it. It’s all wacky.
Cherie: I didn’t even know you guys could do that!
Aimee: Neither did I. That’s beside the point, I’m just tired of going in, busting my ass, and not getting anything done. I’m very disillusioned, I never should have run.
Cherie: Just hold strong, defend your values. Your father and I are so proud of you, and we know you’re doing what’s right. That’s all you can do.
Aimee: You guys didn’t really say anything to convince me that my job matters or anything, but this was still nice.It’s good to feel loved.
Cherie: You are the most loved!
Kimmy: Excuse me?
Cherie: Tied with all my other children, of course.
Ernesto: Now, you go home and get some rest, you need a good recharge, it’ll get your head back in the game.
The next day…
Denise: Okay, Aimee, did you spend the morning prepping questions for Brad Hull?
Aimee: Of course I did. I am nothing if not prepared.
Denise: All right, good. The cable news channels are covering this hearing, because the potential Wall Street bailout is huge news.
Aimee: And they have Hassenfram guiding the hearing? She’s a charisma vacuum, listening to her talk is like melatonin for the ears.
Denise: Aimee, she can hear you!
Aimee: Excuse me?
Senator Mildred Hassenfram: Senator Ferrera Donahue, glad to see you! You missed yesterday’s meeting!
Aimee: Senator Hassenfram! How’s Illinois?
Mildred: It’s still Illinois. How’s Washington?
Aimee: Great!
Mildred: I’ll try not to be melatonin today. I think it’s gonna be a fun day, we finally get to face the head of one of the biggest banks in America, because he finally responded to the subpoena! Thrilling stuff!
Aimee: I think we have different definitions of “thrilling.”
Denise: I can’t bear the tension any longer, let’s get you to your seat before there’s a fight!
Aimee: You think this is tense?
Denise: I could cut it with a knife.
Aimee: I’m just tired and cranky, that’s it. Mildred gets it.
Mildred: I do get it. People forget, because I’ve been here for a hundred years, I was the first female senator with an infant child. I gave birth when I was Illinois Secretary of State and then I was elected to the Senate the next month. The Senate is not an easy place for a new mother, I can excuse a bit of crankiness, and even some ill-advised name-calling
Aimee: Thank you, Mildred. And sorry about the melatonin line. You’re a great chair!
Mildred: Thank you, Aimee! Now, let’s get this show on the road, I want to cook this man alive.
Aimee: Me, too!
One hour later…
Mildred: Thank you, Senator Balducci. Senator Ferrera Donahue?
Aimee: Thank you, madam chair. Mr. Hull, thank you for joining us today to discuss your bank’s role in our nation’s financial crisis.
Brad: I don’t think that’s a fa-
Aimee: I’m speaking, sir. It’s my time. My colleagues on this committee have done an amazing job in placating you and making you feel better about yourself and your bank’s actions. I will not do that. Sir, I find you to be a criminal. As a senator, as a fiscal conservative, I’m deeply disappointed that you have the nerve to come to our chamber and ask for another bailout. I say another because your predecessor was in that very seat fifteen years ago, he begged for the same thing and he got it. Not on my watch.
Brad: Is there a question coming?
Aimee: Let me get there, Mr. Hull. Your mismanagement of your bank’s finances is a disgrace. As a mother, I’m outraged. You and your Wall Street cronies have endangered the fiscal future of this nation for my children, and their generation. I can’t even begin to believe the incompetence! How do you defend yourself?
Brad: Is that the question.
Aimee: Yes. Don’t get smart with me, your type sickens me.
Brad: Well, senator, it’s not our fault.
Aimee: You’ve gotta be kidding me.
Brad: I’m only telling the truth. We have nothing to do with this financial crisis, we’re victims of bad economic policy from the government that has impacted how consumers spend.
Aimee: Get outta here with that. I consider myself to be far from a firebrand, but this is ridiculous! You can’t even take responsibility in a Senate hearing where you’re begging us for a bailout! You run the second-largest bank in America! You mean to tell me you have no fault for the predicament that Wall Street has gotten themselves into?
Brad: We are at the mercy of the American consumer.
Aimee: I’m done with you. You’re a coward when wants a bailout from us and refuses to even take responsibility for a situation you helped create. This is a professional setting, I won’t curse like I want to, but are freaking kidding me? Man up! It’s people like you who give your profession a bad name. Madam chair, I yield to you.
Aimee gets up from her seat and walks off.
Denise: Holy crap! You didn’t tell me you were gonna do that!
Aimee: Would you have let me?
Denise: No!
Aimee: Exactly!
In Aimee’s office…
Carolyn: Aimee!
Aimee: Jeez, what are you doing here?
Lynette: Well, all have TikToks!
Alec: TikTok? What the hell is TikTok?
Lynette: Get with the times, man!
Aimee: I’ve missed you guys, but what are you doing in the Senate?
Lynette: Well, I’m a US Senator, too…
Aimee: I meant the other two, Lyn.
Lynette: Oh. They texted about the hearing, I said we should all talk about it. That crap was hilarious!
Aimee: Hilarious? I’m not auditioning for SNL.
Carolyn: Oh, but you’ll be on it.
Aimee: Did I make a scene?
Lynette: It was deserved, don’t worry!
Carolyn: I did try to coach you to not act like that, but I’m your friend, not your mother, I can respect you making your own decisions.
Alec: Seriously, what is TikTok?
Carolyn: I miss when Lynette was the dumb one.
Lynette: What? When was I dumb?
Carolyn: Honey…
Lynette: Hey… look at which of us is a senator now!
Carolyn: You got forty percent of the vote as a Republican in Wyoming! Wyoming!
Lynette: Still won by a bigger margin than you!
Aimee: Did you all break into my office just to bicker?
Alec: No! We just wanted to prepare you for fame. I know you were saying the media hounds you all the time, well… the internet’s eating your rant up, and they’re about to give you even less privacy.
Aimee: It’ll all just be a flash in the pan. People forget about these viral hearing moments after a day or two.
Lynette: That is true, but still… you know, you sounded like a left-winger…
Aimee: Oh god, I did! They’re always ranting about how crooked the banks are.
Lynette: I mean, it’s one of the few things they aren’t wrong about.
Aimee: My god, am I gonna be an MSNBC hero now?
Alec: You spoke up for people that are tired of the establishment and the elites. Most average people don’t like greedy corporations, so don’t worry, you don’t have to become a Democrat.
Carolyn: Fiscal responsibility is a key tenet of our party platform, that should even include the banks that fund our campaigns.
Aimee: I always said I wanted to make a difference, I’m not sure I really wanted to be a national political figure, though.
Carolyn: You’ll be fine. You’ll get through it.
Lynette: I know how you feel, my dad was the vi-
Carolyn: We know!
Lynette: I was just trying to relate to her.
Carolyn: Yeah, nothing more relatable than reminding her you’ve been famous since your twenties because your dad was our vice president.
Lynette: What a thrilling time that was for me!
Later that night, when Aimee gets home…
Dave: Honey! You finally made it in!
Victoria: I told those reporters, I’m a member of the NRA and I have a constitutional right to defend my home from gawkers. They didn’t listen.
Aimee: You hate the NRA!
Victoria: That’s something they do not have to know.
Aimee: I don’t understand why one viral moment has sent half reporters in the beltway after me. I’m just one senator.
Victoria: one pissed-off senator.
Aimee: I don’t really think I have the influence to sway this vote. I’ll vote against the bailout, a few others will join me, and we’ll move on.
Victoria: You’re voting against it?
Aimee: Duh!
Victoria: I’m so proud of you! I hate to see these crooks get bailed out of situations they made themselves, especially when they have no accountability.
Aimee: I wish my colleagues felt the same. Nevertheless, people online sure seem to agree.
Victoria: I was so proud when Dave showed me that video.
Dave: It’s a very proud house today. Every time you use your voice and make yourself heard, regardless off the outcome, it just makes me so happy.
Aimee: Chill, man, we’re not having another kid.
Dave: Why did you mind go there?
Aimee: I know what those eyes mean.
Victoria: Hello, I’m right here!
Aimee: I’m going to go make dinner. Need to get out some of the frustration I built up in that hearing.
Victoria: I’ll help you if you want!
Aimee: I’m good, thanks. I’m afraid I’d cut your hand off with the knife.
Victoria: Just how aggressively are you going to be chopping?
Aimee: It’s therapeutic.
Victoria: Those onions did nothing to you.
Aimee: Thankfully, they’re not sentient.
Dave: What is going on in this conversation?
Victoria: Aimee’s mad at the banker guy, she’s taking it out on the onions.
Dave: I’m just glad to see her reenergized. Even if that does include her excitedly chopping things up.
Aimee: You know, today was a bit frustrating, but it was also exhilarating. I do feel much better about my job than I did yesterday.
The next day…
Geraldine: Aimee, thanks for meeting with us before you fly home. I know you’re
Aimee: I feel like I’m getting called to the principal’s office again. Or worse, Victor’s office.
Greg: Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble.
Aimee: Good to know!
Greg: The party is worried about your social media presence.
Aimee: Oh, getting right down to it, eh?
Greg: We all appreciate you.
Aimee: Sounds like it!
Greg: We’re just concerned that people will see you and think this is what a mainstream Republican senator is like.
Aimee: Yeah, it would be a shame to see people think we’re sane.
Greg: I don’t want our donors thinking we’re turning our backs on corporations and that we’re a bunch of lefties now.
Aimee: I just believe in personal responsibility, even for the heads of multi-billion-dollar banks.
Greg: And that’s great! We just need you to tone it down.
Aimee: Geraldine, did you know he was going to ask me this?
Geraldine: I knew he had concerns about yesterday.
Aimee: Typical. I’m always thrown to the wolves.
Greg: We’re not throwing you to the wolves. We’re just asking you to try to avoid hogging the spotlight.
Aimee: I’m sorry I’m not Janie Emmer or Deborah Allen, I know that’s the type of Republican woman you guys prefer.
Greg: This is not about you!
Aimee: Seems like it is!
Greg: Just try not to hurt the brand, okay? Cool it a little.
Aimee: Fine. I’ll be a team player, I’ll silence myself. I’m going now. I can live with being a short-lived media darling, I never wanted it to begin with. This job is very frustrating, though. I’ll tell you one thing, Greg, my six years are done, find someone else to run.
Greg: You don’t mean that!
Aimee: I’m from Washington, I’m not winning again anyway. Especially not if you want to shape me into something I’m not and something my state could never support.
Greg: You’re misunderstanding.
Aimee: Yes, please gaslight me, that’ll convince me.
Aimee gets up.
Geraldine: Aimee, don’t get like that!
Aimee: I’m off to be a happy little soldier, tow the party line, and keep my mouth shut. You should be happy!
Geraldine: I think you should speak your mind. Screw what he says.
Greg: Excuse me?
Geraldine: You’re right. You need to serve your state, and no one knows how to do that better than you. Trust your gut.
Aimee: Thank you, Geraldine. Finally some sanity. Now, I’m going to a hearing on the Appropriations Committee. Don’t worry, Greg, I’m not going to behead anyone!
What did you think of the season premiere of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!
