Numb Humor Studios Presents:
College S2 EP 9
"A College Christmas"
Written by
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Andrew, Edison, and Megan enter their apartment.
EDISON
We are finally done with finals. I’m pretty sure I got all Cs. Oh, and I'm finally a sex magnet again.
ANDREW
Yes, that’s the highlight of the year.
MEGAN
Hey guys, are we gonna throw a
Christmas party?
ANDREW
Why?
MEGAN
We had a Halloween party. Also, don’t you two want to make this place party central?
EDISON
Yeah but I actually think we should keep things small for Christmas. Just us. We can watch a movie.
ANDREW
Sounds great.
MEGAN
Only if it’s a rom-com.
ANDREW
Ok.
MEGAN
Really?
EDISON
What? You think just because we’re guys means we don’t like rom-coms?
MEGAN
Ummm.
INT. STUDENT UNION - DAY
Andrew and Sarah sit at a table.
SARAH
And that’s when my roommate decided to start dating three guys.
ANDREW
Wow. Ummm hey, we’re throwing a small Christmas party tonight. You wanna come?
SARAH
Really? Sorry I can’t. I’m leaving tonight to drive home.
ANDREW
Damn. That’s too bad.
SARAH
Yeah.
ANDREW
Oh well, it’s probably for the best. Knowing Edison and Megan, they’ll probably get drunk and challenge each other to an arm wrestling match which Edison will lose.
Sarah laughs. Andrew looks at Sarah and realizes that he loves her.
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Andrew storms into the apartment. Edison and Megan are decorating a small Christmas tree.
ANDREW
I’m in love with Sarah and I need you two to help me win her.
EDISON
Andrew she’s a human being not a point in air hockey.
MEGAN
Is this the girl you’ve liked since freshman year?
ANDREW
Yes. Although I stopped when I was dating Gabby but now... I realize she’s the one I’m supposed to be with.
EDISON
Dude I’ve been a part of this since day one. Just ask her out.
ANDREW
She says she just wants to be friends.
EDISON
Then just be friends.
ANDREW
Edison do you plan on contributing at all?
EDISON
No not really. If I were you, Sarah and I would’ve already been dating by now.
ANDREW
Ok. Megan. Give me some of that
magical lesbian wisdom.
MEGAN
Magical lesbian wisdom?
ANDREW
I don’t know. You’re the first gay person I’ve ever met.
MEGAN
Well, if I were you. A heterosexual white male who seems very self conscious of his mediocre body-
ANDREW
What?
MEGAN
Then I would speak from the heart. Tell her how you really feel. After that, you accept any answer she gives you. Whether it’s yes or no.
ANDREW
Ok. Ok yeah. But what if she says no?
MEGAN
Then you accept it and move on.
ANDREW
That’s it?
MEGAN
Yes.
ANDREW
Ugh fine.
Andrew leaves the apartment.
INT. COLLEGE DORM HALLWAY - DAY
Andrew knocks on Sarah’s door. She answers.
ANDREW
Sarah I love you.
SARAH
Excuse me?
ANDREW
I love you. I’m not gonna be a coward and keep it to myself.
SARAH
Andrew I told you. I just want to be friends.
ANDREW
You said that we were meant to be together. I didn’t see it then but I do now.
SARAH
Andrew, the last time we did this we didn’t speak to each other for months. I just want to be friends.
ANDREW
Ok. Just friends. Sorry.
SARAH
It’s cool.
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Andrew enters the apartment looking defeated. Megan and Edison are eating candy canes.
EDISON
Hey buddy. How’d it go?
ANDREW
She said no. We’re gonna be friends.
MEGAN
Ok. Now you move on.
ANDREW
Right. I move on. I know just how to get started. Christmas party.
EDISON
Good idea.
MEGAN
I rented "The Notebook".
EDISON
Hell yeah!
The trio watch the movie. It begins to snow outside. They are at the point in the movie where the characters are kissing in the rain.
EDISON
Why does every rom-com kiss take place in the rain?
MEGAN
Because it’s romantic.
EDISON
Yeah but doesn’t the kiss taste like rainwater?
MEGAN
What?
Megan and Edison begin arguing. Andrew continues watching the movie. He looks out in the snow. He gets up and goes to the door.
EDISON
Where are you going?
ANDREW
I’m done being a coward.
Andrew leaves.
EDISON
That... doesn’t answer my question.
EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - NIGHT
Andrew runs through the campus. He reaches a parking lot where Sarah is loading her car.
ANDREW
Sarah!
Sarah looks at Andrew. Andrew is running towards her. He slips on a patch of ice and falls hard on his back/bottom.
SARAH
Oh my gosh!
Sarah runs over to Andrew.
ANDREW
Ow ow ow.
SARAH
Are you ok?
ANDREW
Yeah. Yeah I’m good. Actually, I think
I bruised my butt.
SARAH
Oh.
ANDREW
Sarah.
SARAH
Yeah?
ANDREW
I don’t want to be friends. I want us to be us. You and me. The way it was meant to be. I love you Sarah. Ok I think I actually broke my butt.
SARAH
I love you too.
SARAH
I love you too.
ANDREW
Really?
SARAH
Yes you idiot.
Sarah kisses Andrew. Andrew winces.
ANDREW
Yeah I definitely think I broke
something.
Andrew and Sarah laugh. They kiss again.
END.