JOSH opens the door. BRIAN and FRAN are standing outside.
FRAN
Josh! You’re here!
JOSH
Of course I’m here! You gave me and Andrew the house, remember?
FRAN
Yes, I remember. I thought maybe you’d sell it though.
BRIAN
See Fran, they didn’t sell the house. Can we go back to Poland now?
ANDREW [in the background]
THAT’S what this is about? Seriously??
FRAN
Pretty much. Also we’re not liking Poland.
BRIAN
I think it’s fine but you just had to come back here.
ANDREW [inviting them inside]
You scared the crap out of us. I called everyone in the family and they’re all heading down now!
JOSH
You did what?
ANDREW
Don’t blame me, it was Nate’s idea.
BRIAN
Who the hell is Nate? Are you two divorced now?!
JOSH
Nate’s a friend of ours, Catherine’s boyfriend.
BRIAN
How is that possible?
JOSH
He’s a friend! Not romantically!
BRIAN
So it’s just like a—
JOSH
NO!
ANDREW
You didn’t let him finish.
JOSH
I know what he was going to say.
[They hear a knock on the door. ANDREW opens it.]
NATE
You talking about me?
ANDREW
Nate! How’s everything?
JOSH
Great to see you Nate! Hey Catherine.
CATHERINE
Thanks, you too.
NATE
It’s going good. What’s going on here?
JOSH
Well for one it looks like Britney is trying to come in through the window. Also William just walked in the door with a girl.
WILLIAM
That’s right! Her name is Daisy.
CATHERINE
Right, can someone tell my daughter to come in through the door?
BRITNEY 2 [walking in]
I tried, she thought it would be bad for the baby. Don’t ask.
CATHERINE
How would walking through a door be bad for the baby?
BRITNEY 2
I said don’t ask. And it’s more like she just didn’t want to walk near me in general.
CATHERINE
Oh. Well that makes sense, I’m with Britney on that one.
BRITNEY
Seriously?!
FRAN [Yelling]
Britney! Come through the door and stop avoiding your sister!
DAVID [Running in]
Yeah, I’ve stood near Catherine many times before and look at me now! You can do the same with Britney 2 too.
BRIAN
Why are you running, the cops onto you?
DAVID
Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, it’s complicated. Mary and I got into a fight on the way here.
FRAN
Sorry. Do you need a hug?
DAVID
No, actually it’s been two days since our last fight, so we were overdue.
MARY [walking in]
Catherine, you are my inspiration.
ANDREW
Yikes.
BRITNEY [walking in]
It’s not fat, it’s a baby bump. Also these are not my kids.
JOSH
Nobody asked. And we know who Julian, Drew, and Chris are.
BRIAN
Yeah but who’s the fourth one?
BRITNEY
Steve, my boyfriend and future father of Hannah.
CHRIS
Let me guess, after the show with that singer?
BRITNEY
You got it.
CATHERINE
I’m so proud of you.
BRITNEY
Ew.
DREW
Not to sound rude or anything but are you all going to let me talk more this time?
MARY
Screw you David.
DAVID
Huh? What did I do?
MARY
Just a general comment.
FRAN
Oh dear.
JULIAN
It’s not out of the ordinary.
FRAN
Nothing a reunion can’t fix.
STEVE
Hope it’s better than the first one, based on what I’ve heard.
FRAN
It will be. Trust me.