FRAN
Merry Christmas everyone!
CATHERINE
It’s not Christmas.
FRAN
Close enough.
BRIAN
What are all those bags, and did you use our money?
FRAN
Presents and yes.
BRIAN
They better be good and all for me.
FRAN
We’re doing a gift swap!
JULIAN
Huh?
FRAN
A gift swap! I am going to put all the bags in a pile and we take turns opening them. You get what you get!
JOSH
Can’t we at least trade with others like a normal family does once we open our gifts and hate them?
FRAN
We can. But we won’t. Come on, it’ll be fun!
CHRIS
OK. But I call opening the first gift.
MARY
Chris, it doesn’t matter, you don’t even know what’s inside.
DAVID
Who cares if he doesn’t know what’s inside, let the kid open a present!
FRAN
No, not yet! We have to eat first!
ANDREW
I can make the food if you’d like.
JOSH
You can?
ANDREW
Sure.
FRAN
That would be great Andrew!
ANDREW
Alright, I’ll go in the kitchen now.
DAISY
What should we do in the mean time?
ANDREW
Gift swap I guess.
FRAN
There goes eating first.
CHRIS [opening present]
Is this a small lamp?
NATE
Looks like it.
CHRIS
Lucky me.
WILLIAM [opening present]
Wow! A new computer! I could use this!
FRAN
Did I put a computer in there?
CATHERINE
Apparently.
ANDREW
Food’s ready.
FRAN
Already??!
ANDREW
Yep.
NATE
Where should we sit?
ANDREW
Anywhere. Let’s see, there are two chairs in the kitchen and 15 of us...
DREW
16. And I know I’m the 16th.
DAVID
We can improvise. I’ll sit in the living room.
MARY
Then I won’t.
STEVE
There really aren’t any spaces here, are there? The way things are looking I’ll be sitting in the basement!
JOSH
That’s a great idea! Steve, why don’t you, Nate, and Daisy sit in the basement, get to know one another?
ANDREW
Kids can be together upstairs. The two Britneys, Julian, Chris, take some food and follow me.
CATHERINE
I can go in the living room with David. Mom, Dad, and Josh, how about you come too?
MARY
Put me with Andrew, William, and whoever’s left.
DREW
That would be me.
FRAN
We should do family games again with these groups as our teams!
JOSH
Which country are you moving to this time?
FRAN
Let’s put the idea on the back burner for now.
ANDREW
Come on everyone, the pizza pockets aren’t going to stay warm much longer!
BRIAN
OK, let’s eat!
[Everyone takes pizza pockets and sit down.]
FRAN
Before we begin, I want to say Grace. Lord, bless over our food and our family, bless over—
CHRIS (from upstairs)
CAN’T HEAR YOU UP HERE.
NATE (from the basement)
Wow, these pizza pockets are good!
ANDREW (from the kitchen)
Should one of us say Grace?
FRAN
Never mind. Amen.