Debra and Carmen meet Annie at a café in Seattle the day before their last game before the all-star break.
Debra: This better be good, Carter. I was actually supposed to spend some time with my wife for a change.
Carmen: You’re her vet, Debra. You gotta be there for advice when she needs it.
Debra: She should call Billings, then
Annie: Oh, gosh no.
Debra: What’s wrong with Billings?
Annie: Nothing!
Debra: That was odd.
Carmen: You’re interrogating her! By the way, I’m so happy to have been asked here. I’m free for advice whenever you need it, bestie.
Debra: Don’t sound so desperate. It’s so unbecoming.
Carmen: I’m being welcoming and kind.
Debra: You’re being weird. Speaking of weird, what is all this about?
Annie: I had a dream.
Debra: Oh, come on! You had a dream that you needed to tell us about so desperately that you made us come here after practice under the guise of it being an emergency?
Annie: Yeah.
Debra: What the hell was it, did you see Jesus?
Annie: No, but I did have a revelation.
Debra: And this isn’t odd to you, Hale?
Carmen: No, I’m a curious friend who is patient enough to let her friend tell a story.
Debra: Very well. Continue, Carter.
Annie: It was one of those dreams.
Carmen: Oh, one of those dreams where you show up to school in only your underwear? I can totally relate.
Annie: Not quite.
Carmen: Oh, it was a dream about a game. The all-star game?
Annie: No, not that either.
Carmen: Was it a nightmare about that scary movie Melissa made us see?
Annie: Nope.
Debra: Would you stop guessing and let her talk? This has gone on long enough, and I still haven’t gotten my coffee!
Carmen: You didn’t order coffee. You ordered a milkshake.
Debra: It’s four o’clock! I don’t want to be up until midnight!
Carmen: You think midnight’s late?
Debra: I’m not a young woman.
Carmen: Well aware, everyone’s always pointing it out.
Annie: I had a dream about Aubrey.
Carmen: And that’s who points out how old Debra is more than anyone else!
Debra: What kind of dream are we talking about here? Like, god sending a premonition that we have to trade her? Because I believe in the predictive powers of dreams.
Carmen: You’re only saying that because she’s the only one bold enough to remind you that you’re ancient constantly and always.
Debra: And you’re frail and almost died because you bumped into Ginny Wright.
Carmen: I had a black and blue mark on my face, I did not “almost die.”
Debra: You were closer to meeting the lord than I’ve ever been!
Carmen: Really? You were playing for Russian mobsters for a time, you could’ve ended up as basketball Rasputin.
Annie: Hey! Stop sniping at each other, I have a problem to discuss.
Debra: Oh, right! So, what was this dream that was so important, we had to discuss it somewhere Billings couldn’t hear it?
Annie: It was an S-E-X dream.
Debra: No way!
Carmen: I’m a proud ally, just FYI.
Annie: Good to know.
Debra: I didn’t know you were gay! This is shocking to me!
Annie: I’m not. I’m bi.
Debra: Close enough, I’m counting it.
Annie: What am I supposed to do here?
Debra: I mean… are you attracted to Aubrey? Because I’ve had a dream I was married to Ronald McDonald, I didn’t go out and jump his bones the next day.
Carmen: You what?
Debra: Look, I was in college, drugs are a powerful thing.
Carmen: Drugs?
Debra: Nothing performance-enhancing! Just a little coke, it was the off-season!
Annie: Coke made you dream about marrying a fictional character that’s a clown?
Debra: Cocaine, not ‘a-Cola.’
Annie: I know!
Debra: I would argue that a dream about Ronald McDonald is less bad than a sex dream about a teammate, but what do I know?
Annie: I didn’t actively choose to have it. You do know how dreams work, right?
Debra: I’m aware. I’m just saying ,this could be no bueno if it’s not handled gently.
Carmen: I think you should keep it to yourself. For now, at least.
Debra: You’re just saying that because you want to be Carter’s best friend on the team!
Carmen: No, I’m saying it because Annie and Aubrey are flying to New Orleans for all-star weekend in a few days and I don’t want her first all-star trip to be awkward.
Debra: I’d be fine with that. She’s not on my all-star team.
Carmen: Debra!
Debra: I say, bring it out in the open. Aubrey also swings both ways, she had a girlfriend for most of college. I’m a believer of finding love in basketball, I met my wife on this team. It’s not like it’s some power imbalance or anything. Go for it, kid!
Carmen: I guess I agree with Debra.
Debra: Always afraid to be the odd woman out!
Carmen: Could you shut up?
Debra: You’ve known me how long? I think you can answer that question for yourself.
Annie: So you guys think I should tell her?
Debra: If that’s what you feel.
Annie: I’m kinda nervous. I’ve never been interested in a teammate before, but I feel different when I’m around her. It took me a while to realize it, though. At first, I just saw her as a friend.
Debra: Whitney was married when I met her. To a man. So imagine my internal conflict.
Annie: It worked out for you, though. Maybe it can work out for me.
Debra: You’re young, too. Both of you are. So even if you just have fun and it doesn’t work out, no problem. Just don’t let it ruin the team dynamics.
Annie: If I tell her, and she turns me down, I can live with that. If anything happens and we split up, we’re both mature enough. I doubt it would be an issue.
Debra: Then you got your answer! I’m happy for you two.
Annie: Well, nothing’s happened yet.
Debra: Yes, but I’m ready to go back to the hotel and see my wife and kids.
Carmen: Oh look, our drinks are coming!
Debra: You can have mine. My treat.
Carmen: I don’t think I have r-
Debra: Not my problem.
Carmen: Wait, Debra! You didn’t pay yet.
Annie: Don’t worry, I can pay.
The next day, in the locker room before the game against Seattle…
Annie: Hey, Aubrey, can we talk after the game?
Aubrey: Sure! What about?
Annie: Nothing major! I’ll tell you then.
Aubrey: Ooh, mysterious!
Debra: Very mysterious!
Annie: Were you eavesdropping?
Debra: I basically own this locker room. I’ve been here as long as you’ve been alive.
Aubrey: Debra, you don’t need to remind me that you’re old.
Debra: I’m vintage. You do know that knowledge comes with age, don’t you!
Aubrey: I do. And I also think it’s so inspiring that you’e still able to be named an all-star at your advanced age.
Debra: Okay, too far!
Aubrey: Yeah, I see that now.
Sheryl: Ladies! Big game today! Last one before the all-star break! We just had a pretty bad loss to New Orleans, this is our bounce-back.
Debra: Hopefully, no one here has anything else on their mind that would direct them from work.
Sheryl: That’s an odd comment.
Annie: Yeah, sure is.
Sheryl: Anyway, I believe in you, and you all know that. I know we have lost to this team in the past, but we’ve put in the work, we have the talent, we have a gameplay for this team, and we are hungry for victory. So that’s what’s going to happen today!
Melissa: Who’s starting today?
Sheryl: Alicia is still not where the medical team wants her to be, so we’re going to keep her out for now.
Alicia: Against my will!
Sheryl: Carter, Andrew, Hale, Kessler, and Billings will be the starting lineup again.
Melissa: Just a question… what would have to happen for me to start a game? Hypothetically, of course.
Debra: I would have to - I’m gonna close my mouth.
Aubrey: I see that look in her eyes, she’s scheming.
Fiona: If you lay a finger on her, I will cut a bitch.
Melissa: I would never!
Sheryl: All right, enough of this. Let’s get warmed up.
After the game…
Sheryl: Great f***ing job, ladies! That was a full team win! Carter, absolutely incredible out there! Twenty-six points, thirteen assists, six rebounds, three steals… goddamn!
Annie: Thank you, coach!
Sheryl: DA, so much passion out there! Fourteen points, six assists, two rebounds, and a steal! Critical on defense, just… keep it up.
Debra: I am pretty great.
Sheryl: Billings, a double double for you! Eighteen points, ten rebounds, three blocks, and an assist. That was championship-worthy defense out there.
Debra: You know, Carter and Billings were electric together out there. It’s like they were playing for each other!
Aubrey: What’s with you today?
Annie: I don’t know, I think she’s getting dementia in her old age.
Sheryl: Anyway, we gotta do post-game. Carter, Billings, let’s go.
Fiona: I thought Debra played super well today, too!
Sheryl: We only need two people, Haas. It’s not like anyone likes post-game press.
Melissa: I’d be willing to do it!
Sheryl: Yes, Hoover, I’m well aware you’d never turn down he opportunity to get before a microphone.
Later, after the post-game…
Aubrey: Annie, you wanted to talk after the game?
Annie: You remembered? Because I almost forgot, I mean, coach was screaming a lot, that really gets in my head. I kinda hear her voice in my head as I try to go to sleep.
Aubrey: Ah, you get past that eventually.
Annie: Anyway… we’re alone, right?
Aubrey: Yeah, why?
Annie: Aubrey, this is really awkward and I’ve never had to do this before.
Aubrey: Were you the one who bumped my car door and tried to cover it up with a Sharpie?
Annie: No, that was definitely Debra.
Aubrey: So what are you confessing?
Annie: I don’t know if you feel the same way, but I’ve got the feeling you do, which is great. Um… I’m sorry, I’m so awkward about this.
Aubrey: You can say it.
Annie: Okay, here goes nothing. Aubrey, I’m into you. Like, actually. I think you’re beautiful and you have a great personality and you’re completely my type and -
Aubrey: Oh my gosh.
Annie: Oh no, I’m embarrassing myself. Forget what I said, I was confused, I wanted to say it to Carmen instead.
Aubrey: No!
Annie: No what?
Aubrey: I’m not gonna forget it. I’m not gonna tell I was going to say anything to you about it, because I didn’t even know you were, uh, you know.
Annie: Bi?
Aubrey: Sure, yeah.
Annie: Bi as can be!
Aubrey: Look, you’re beautiful and funny and talented and smart and witty and we have the same interests -
Annie: This is where a “but” comes?
Aubrey: No.
Annie: Okay, I like where this is going.
Aubrey: I’m into you, too. What exactly did you have in mind here?
Annie: I don’t really know. I guess I just wanted you to know how I felt, and then we’d go from there.
Aubrey: Could I give you a kiss?
Annie: Oh, yeah.
Aubrey: And then if that goes well…
Annie: Maybe a date in New Orleans this weekend?
Aubrey: I’d like that.
Annie: Okay, about that kiss?
Aubrey: Lean closer.
Annie: Okay, got it.
Five minutes later, Sherry walks into the locker room.
Sheryl: Oh my goodness.
Annie: Oh my god, coach! I didn’t think you were here!
Sheryl: I saw nothing! Nothing at all!
Aubrey: Annie, could you hand me my bra?
Sheryl: Ladies, I wish you luck with… this. Maybe, though, wait until you’re in your hotel room first.
Annie: Will do!
The next day, on the flight to New Orleans…
Debra: So, what happened yesterday?
Annie: I don’t want to talk about it.
Debra: Ah, kid. Bring it in. We all strike out sometimes.
Annie: No, I didn’t strike out. Trust me.
Debra: Oh my. Did you get her pregnant?
Annie: You’re sick.
Debra: I’m struggling to see how getting some action is an “I don’t want to talk about it” situation.
Annie: It was in the locker room, coach walked in while it was -
Debra: Oh, no!
Annie: We didn’t get into anything, but we were undressing. It was really embracing.
Debra: Mood killer, I bet.
Annie: You could say so.
Debra: It could’ve gone worse, I guess.
Annie: Could’ve gone better.
Debra: How did Billings react? What did you do when coach left?
Annie: Well, we put our clothes back on, and were too embarrassed to do much else. So we left, but with an agreement we’d try again soon.
Debra: Well, they do say New Orleans is the city of love!
Annie: That’s Paris.
Debra: Get drunk enough on Bourbon Street, you’ll think you’re in Paris!
That night, in New Orleans…
Annie: Aubrey, I’m really happy we made this agreement to go out for dinner, just the two of us. I was worried all the weirdness yesterday ruined it for us.
Aubrey: Ah, no biggie. I don’t mind a bit of awkwardness too much. It’s not gonna stop me from going after what I want.
Annie: And you want…?
Aubrey: You. I feel like that was fairly clear. We did almost have sex in the Seattle Sirens locker room.
Annie: Hey, it’ll make an interesting story to tell our kids one day.
Aubrey: We’ve already got kids?
Annie: Oh, I didn’t mean out kids as in us, together. I just meant we both might have kids down the l - never mind, I’m dumb.
Aubrey: It’s fine, I’m kidding. Although, that would be an odd story to tell your kids.
Annie: Yeah, it would. I’m just really nervous. You know, I’ve never had a serious relationship with a woman before.
Aubrey: You think this could be serious?
Annie: I hope so.
Aubrey: I do, too.
The next day, at all-star practice…
Roberta Roberts (coach of the Virginia Vampires and an all-star game coach): Let me just say, this is such a talented group of young women, and I’m so honored to work with you all. Obviously, Natalie and I have a long working relationship, but I’m excited to get ton know all of the rest of you, too. This is a fun event, and it’s meant to celebrate all of you. You’ve all been named the twenty-four best players in the league by the fans, coaches, and other players, and this is your reward. So soak it in, enjoy it, we’ve got three days of it, and it’ll be done before you know it.
Sadie Cojocaru (New York Empire player): We’re missing someone, right?
Roberta: Uh… are we?
Naya Komolafe (Myrtle Beach Loggerheads player): Yeah, Annie Carter and Aubrey Billings are missing.
Ginny: If the Prez says they’re missing, then they’re missing.
Sadie: I think I’m fairly trustworthy too, Ginny.
Ginny: Yeah, but Naya is THE Prez. She knows all of us, she’s got tabs on us.
Naya: I don’t have you all followed or anything.
Isabelle “Sully” Sullivan (New York Empire player): You know, I saw on TikTok that Carter and Billings are… you know.
Ginny: Ah, good for them!
Sadie: I’m lost here.
Roberta: I think we’ve been derailed a bit here.
Annie: I’m sorry we were late!
Roberta: Do they not have working clocks in Colorado?
Sadie: I think they were a bit busy k-i-s-s-i-n-g!
Annie: Oh god.
Aubrey: Who knows?
Sully: Uh, most of TikTok.
Ginny: Hey, this is the magic of all-star weekend!
Annie: Do you typically get outed to the whole world at the all-star game?
Ginny: No, this is a new experience for us.
Sadie: Talk about growing the game…
What did you think of this episode of Foul Play? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode of Foul Play next Thursday!
