The Princess Royal Season 2 Episode 10 - I Want It, I Got It

The Princess Royal Season 2, Episode 10
I Want It, I Got It

Olivia: Can you believe this nonsense?

Fred: There’s a lot of nonsense in the world, you’re going to have to specify.

Olivia: Look at this catty tabloid headline.

Fred: “The Pauper Royal? Is HRH Liv-ing on a budget?  Her wardrobe sure suggests so!”

Olivia: I have a nice wardrobe! Right?

Fred: Of course you do!

Olivia: I recycle outfits, though. They’re right about that.

Fred: Fast fashion is ruining our planet. I think you’re heroic for doing your part and wearing the same outfits.

Olivia: I get the intention behind that statement, but hearing that your fashion sense is “heroic” is worrisome.

Fred: Saving the planet is a heroic endeavor, don’t you agree?

Olivia: Not when I look like I buy my wardrobe from a charity shop!

Fred: Who said that?

Olivia: The Sun!

Fred: Todd said that?

Olivia: The S-U-N sun not the S-O-N son.

Fred: Oh, ignore them.

Olivia: I would like to, but I also think I deserve a nice shopping spree with the girls. I can update my wardrobe and my sense of style. Bring myself into the twenty-first century, and out of the tartan era.

Fred: If that’s what you want, go ahead and do it. You’ve earned it.

Olivia: I’m going to! I deserve this, and I’m going to show these haters that I still have it.

Two days later…

Claire: Olivia, I am so happy you asked me to join you on your shopping trip. I feel like we never get to bond like this!

Olivia: Well, what was I to do? You overheard me asking Alicia to come with, I had to have you tag along as well.

Claire: Ah, you and your jokes!

Margo: I have to be honest, I’m not fully sure why you asked me to come. Especially with her here.

Norah: Look, I wasn’t aware you’d be here, either. This is not ideal.

Gigi: Awkward!

Olivia: I wanted to have a fun day with all the special women in my life.

Margo: Where’s Queen Eleanor?

Olivia: I said special women, not stress-inducing.

Gigi: Some of us are both.

Claire: I’m surprised Christine’s not here.

Olivia: Christine and I have a long-distance relationship. The greater the distance between us is, the greater the state of our relationship is.

Alicia: Did the two of you ever get alone? Or was it always like oil and water?

Olivia: We were close at first.

Gigi: Then, the relationship cracked! Like a glass pane near an opera singer.

Claire: If you don’t mind my asking, what went wrong? You know, so I can avoid it with Alicia.

Alicia: Aww, you want us to have a relationship. I appreciate that!

Margo: I feel nauseous.

Gigi: Join the club, sister friend.

Olivia: Christine and I simply realized we were two very different people and it got in between us. We can remain cordial, but we’re not close anymore. I’m fine with that. Not all friends have to stay friends forever.

Margo: Very true!

Olivia: Are you trying to tell me something?

Margo: I’m just agreeing with you. Not everything is a coded message.

Claire: I think we should start shopping, don’t you ladies?

Alicia: I don’t want to overstep, they can do whatever they want as far as I’m concerned.

Olivia: You don’t have to tread so carefully, I’m not going to turn on you over something trivial like that. Besides, Claire is right, we should get in there and shop. That’s why we’re here, after all.

Alicia: We should have a fashion show. We can all pick out what clothes we like and then try them on and model them for the rest of us.

Olivia: I said I wouldn’t turn on you for something trivial. I didn’t give you a free pass to talk nonsense.

Gigi: No, I like the idea. I was always told I looked like a model. 

Margo: You always did have such an ego.

Norah: I love your ego, it makes me laugh.

Margo: Of course you do.

Olivia: Okay, we can do a “fashion show,” but I have to go first, and it has to be quick. I want to be able to go to other stores.

Gigi: We know, you’re the main character, the star of the show.

Olivia: And don’t you ever forget it.
Two hours later…

Claire: I didn’t realize six women could buy so much clothing at one store. Is this all going to fit in the cars?

Olivia: Of course, but we can’t carry it along with us to the next shop. I’ll take it all to the car. Alicia, give me your keys.

Alicia: I don’t want you carrying it all back yourself.

Olivia: Let’s face it, girls. You’re all slow. I get in, I pick what I want, and I’m ready to go. You all need more time in the store.

Claire: She’s not wrong. We’re all slower than molasses.

Olivia: I’ll be right in, try not to stray too far.

Five minutes later…

Margo: You know what, Norah? You’re a hoot! I never expected this, I thought you were just going to be some young, dull tramp.

Norah: Aww, thank you.

Margo: Look at your mother! How was I to ever know her daughter would actually end up being quite… cool?

Norah: I agree, my mum is very uncool.

Margo: We have to exchange numbers and meet sometime. I have so many stories about Todd to tell you.

Gigi: As Todd’s sister, it is my duty to tell you… every juicy, unsavory detail she tells you is fully accurate.

Olivia: What’s going on in here?

Claire: I believe Genevieve is attempting to break up Todd and Norah.

Gigi: Exactly.

Olivia: Well, I also had an interesting five minutes. A man with a camera appeared to be following me in the parking lot.

Alicia: Ugh, they followed me here, too?

Gigi: What are you involved in? Are you a Russian spy? Who is following you?

Alicia: It’s the paparazzi.

Olivia: It was certainly a confusing experience. Though, they’re so clueless, I’m guessing they think I’m just your assistant.

Norah: Being in the Royal Family doesn’t sound all that much fun.

Margo: Don’t worry, you’re in a relationship with a nobody. That’ll never happen to you.

Olivia: I sent you girls in here to look for clothes, and here we are chatting, not even looking at all. Maybe we can change that?

Gigi: Do we have to do the “fashion show” this time? I really soured to that idea when Claire implied that Alicia is “model material” and said nothing of the sort about me.

Claire: The world does not revolve around you, it wasn’t a dig at you in any way.

Gigi: The world sure does seem to revolve around Alicia!

Olivia: Okay, I’m going to go buy myself a purse. You all have fun.

Alicia: I’m coming with you! I need a new purse, this Royal Family money is going to help me get a nice new one!

Claire: I know you’re joking, but for the love of our lord and savior Jesus Christ, don’t you ever say that around Christine! She will decide that everything she ever thought of you was correct.

Olivia: I respect her game. That’s what really matters.

Later that night…

Fred: How’d the shopping go, girls?

Gigi: I had to come into the house just to help her carry it all in. That should give you one clue.

Fred: My goodness, Liv! How much room do you think we have here?

Olivia: I am royalty. I can get as much space as I need.

Fred: How about space in the car to haul it back home? We’re only ever in London a few days a week.

Olivia: Don’t patronize me.

Gigi: She bought you socks. That help matters any?

Fred: No, now I feel sort of bad for giving her grief.

Gigi: They were on clearance, it wasn’t a large expense.

Fred: But I did need socks.

Olivia: I know you did, that’s why I got them. I’m thoughtful like that.

Fred: Did you enjoy your day outwit the girls? How did Margo and Norah handle it all?

Olivia: I think I may have turned them into friends. Am I good or what?

Fred: Not all women have to have hostile relationship with their ex’s new partner, or vice press.

Gigi: Look at Fred the feminist! He’ll be burning bras by the weekend.

Olivia: I understand that, Fred, but there was certainly some animosity on display at the beginning. They weren’t happy to be hanging out, but things turned around. THat’s the power of fashion.

Gigi: So, will they be sitting together at Nathan’s wedding?

Olivia: I think Todd’s got to choose between them, he only gets a plus-one.

Gigi: Yeah, he should honestly feel grateful to even get that. I wouldn’t invite him at all if I were getting married.

Olivia: Todd was one of Warren’s groomsmen.

Gigi: It was a different time.

The next day…

Eleanor: Are we all here?

Todd: Now that mum’s here, yes.

Olivia: These family meetings are becoming a bit too common for my tastes.

Eleanor: Most people tend to regard spending time with their family as something positive, not negative.

Ethan: For what it’s worth, mum, I see it as a positive.

Olivia: Yeah, good for you. None of these meetings are ever about what a screw-up you are. I, on the other hand, can not relate.

Ethan: You make it sound like we’re characters on The Office when you call it a “meeting.” This is a family hangout.

Christine: For once, I see her point. When does this family ever simply “hang out.”

Claude: Olivia, this meeting -

Olivia: Sere, he just called it a meeting!

Claude: It is not at all about you being a “screwup.”

Olivia: Good, finally some variety.

Claude: This is about a myriad of reasons, the first being a tabloid photo of you out shopping.

Olivia: Oh, you got me. You got me good, Claudey.

Claude: What were you doing buying so much clothing?

Olivia: First of all, I don’t see how that’s any of your business. Second, I don’t see how this is anyone else’s business, either. Third, it wasn’t even all mine. I was carrying it, because I am nice, for the other ladies I was with.

Gigi: A lot of it was yours.

Olivia: You are not helping!

Eleanor: Dear, no one cares if you go shopping, we all like using new things for ourselves. The problem is, when you buy so much with our fortune that the public is partially responsible for us having to begin with, it makes us look greedy and out of touch.

Olivia: I think those are two accurate descriptors for us.

Christine: Be serious!

Olivia: Why would I be serious about a topic so deeply unserious? Why does anyone care about this? Is Piers Morgan going to go off on a rant if Claude doesn’t publicly hang me for this?

Claude: Piers would never do that, he’s a friend.

Olivia: Why am I not surprised?

Eleanor: Think of the Royal Family as a business, all of us as its top executives, and the British people as the investors. No investor wants to see the executives at their company using their funds to buy fancy new clothes, especially the quantity you were buying.

Olivia: Does the public care, or are the tabloids just starting trouble?

Ethan: I haven’t seen anyone genuinely upset about it. Granted, I am not exactly exposed to the general public all too often, but I don’t think this is a real scandal.

Olivia: The problem is that I’m the easy one to pick on. I had a public falling-out with the family and the media demonized me. They’ve not made my return to the family easy. Just because you all, well, most of you, welcomed me back with open arms does not mean they did.

Christine: I don’t think that’s fair to say.

Olivia: Anthony flies around thew world in a private jet and the media loves him. He won a “Climate Protector” award. I buy a handful of new dresses and I’m a gluttonous gold digger who is a harmful reminder the fast fashion industry’s alive and well. I just want to live my life.

Claire: May I speak?

Claude: Of course you may.

Claire: Olivia took us out for a nice day of shopping. We don’t do it often, if fact, I can’t recall the last time I saw her in new clothes. She’s innocent, and this story is not our concern. It’ll die down immediately once the media finds a new shiny object to direct everyone’s attention at.

Arthur: For example, the Prime Minister is still plenty stupid. That seems like a good thing to focus on.

Todd: Norah told me about the shopping spree, said it was a lot of fun. She also showed me the story in the paper about it, and she said most of the clothing wasn’t even mum’s.

Olivia: That’s correct! I am truly innocent here. I bet you feel bad about this now, Claude.

Christine: Shopping spree? Why was I not invited?

Olivia: It was only for my very closest friend circle.

Christine: Why was Norah invited?

Todd: She’s my girlfriend!

Christine: For all of a month!

Todd: Three months.

Claude: Can we please not deviate from the subject?

Olivia: Yes, can you please not deviate from talking about how everything I do is a problem?

Claude: I never said that, I only thought it was worth bringing it to your attention.

Olivia: Clearly you are bothered by it, our you never would have brought it up.

Claude: I want everyone to carefully uphold their public image, that’s all.

Ethan: I have an idea. It’s a good one.

Arthur: Anything to get us off this conversation.

Ethan: Well, it adds to it. It could also end it, though.

Arthur: Those are conflicting statements.

Ethan: Olivia, you got many new outfits, correct?

Olivia: I got a reasonable amount.

Ethan: Sure, we’ll go with that. You got a reasonable amount of new outfits. Donate some of your old ones to charity to show that you aren’t some selfish, greedy person.

Olivia: Do the celebrities have to donate their clothes to charity to justify buying a few new dresses and a velvet pantsuit?

Ethan: No, but there are different rules for us and pop stars and actors.

Olivia: Claude, would it make you happy if I did this?

Claude: I want you to do what you want to do.

Olivia: It’ll help me cultivate a positive pubic image, I suppose?

Claude: It’s your choice.

Eleanor: Please don’t donate the sweater I gave you for Christmas last year.

Olivia: What is the point then?

Eleanor: Helping people!

Olivia: I want to help them by giving them the worst clothes I have in my closet.

Eleanor: That hurts my feelings.

Todd: Are you actually going to do it, mum?

Olivia: I guess.

Todd: Wow, mum is caring about her public image. Never thought I’d see the day.

Ethan: I have such wonderful ideas, don’t I?

Gigi: You were able to bully mum into doing something selfless, so, yeah.

Olivia: What a way to talk about your mother.

Gigi: I speak only the truth.

The next week…

Olivia: Where’s the paper? I always read it with my morning tea.

Fred: I spilled something on it.

Olivia: In the five minutes I was in the bathroom, you spilled something, cleaned it up, and disposed of any sign of a spillage?

Fred: It’s a talent.

Olivia: Did the paper happen to have a story about me on it?

Fred: Where are we going today?

Olivia: Where’s the paper, Frederick?

Fred: My bedside drawer.

Olivia: You crack so easily.

Fred: Ignore what they say about you, love!

Olivia: “Royal PR Stunt? Liv gets charitable in wake of ‘GluttonGate’ - our Royal source says it’s all an act”

Fred: I said to ignore it!

Olivia: I find it funny! Apparently even charity is evil if done by me.

Fred: They’ll never be a tenth as kind as you are.

Olivia: I must ask, though. Since when do we get The Daily Mail?

Fred: Paper boy must have thrown us the wrong paper.

Olivia: I think the world hates me.

Fred: No! Just the dumb ones.

Olivia: Aww, you’re too sweet. Foolishly so.

What did you think of this episode of The Princess Royal? Let us know in the comments and make sure to return for the new episode next week?

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