Betty, Karl, Mitchell, Jerry and Steven are working at the boutique.
Mitchell: Jerry, can you grab that box from the top shelf?
Jerry: Why can’t you do it?
Mitchell: It’s up there pretty high.
Jerry: We’re the same height.
Mitchell: You have taller shoes on.
Jerry: I’m not wearing high heels.
Betty: My god, do I have to do it?
Karl: You are not getting up on a ladder. That never ends well. I’ll do it.
Jerry: No, I can do it.
Karl: Thank you, Jerry. I have customers to help out, anyway. Can’t leave Steven to schmooze them by himself.
Betty: He’s a good salesman, I have to say.
Jerry: Ouch!
Mitchell: Don’t fake an injury to get out of work! I can’t deal with this alone!
Jerry: First off, there are three other people here to help. Second, I don’t fake injuries at work, because I am not you.
Mitchell: That hurts.
Jerry: Not as much as my back hurts!
Betty: Do you need to lie down?
Jerry: No, I’ll be fine. I’ll take a Tylenol and get myself back to work. It’s not like this is exactly hard labor.
Betty: It could be to some people.
Jerry: I lay out shirts on tables. Sometimes, someone will mess up those shirts and I have to reorganize them.
Betty: I appreciate it either way. Good help is hard to find these days.
Mitchell: I know. Thank god you found us.
Betty: Yeah, thank god.
Steven: Could someone help me out here? The cash register own’t open.
Karl: Ah, it’s acting up again. That thing has a mind of its own.
Jerry: Time to call Ghostbusters.
Mitchell: Halloween was last week.
Jerry: Not that you’d be able to tell from our yard.
Betty: I’m getting to it. It’s a lot to clean up!
Steven: Still waiting for help! I have a customer waiting to go.
Alicia: Yoo-hoo!
Betty: Alicia! How are you?
Jerry: Oh, this’ll be a while.
Alicia: I’m great, how are you?
Betty: Nervous about next week. You?
Alicia: My Xanax prescription is refilled. My wine cooler is stocked. I’m just ready for whatever the results are.
Mitchell: She doesn’t shut up about this election.
Alicia: I think being civically engaged is a great thing. Especially when that entails voting for me.
Steven: Register help. Please? Some of us have dates tonight.
Mitchell: We get it, we get it. You have an active social life. No need to rub it in.
Two days later…
Jerry: Cindy! Help me!
Cindy: What’s wrong?
Jerry: My right leg is giving out, I feel like I’m about to fall down the stairs.
Cindy: You think I can help? I’m not exactly a weight lifter.
Jerry: Just help keep me steady.
Betty: Hon, are you okay?
Jerry: I’m fine!
Karl: You’re concerning me, too.
Velma: What’s going on in here?
Teri: Jerry’s falling apart.
Velma: Aren’t we all?
Frank (singing): I fall to pieces.
Teri: Shut up, Patsy Cline!
Cindy: Frank, help me with Jerry.
Jerry: I’m fine, it’s over.
Cindy: You sure?
Jerry: Yeah, it’s good. Back to normal.
Betty: I still think you should get checked out. You were having pains at work, too.
Cindy: You were?
Jerry: Just a little back pain, nothing to worry about.
Teri: I’d have to agree there. If I went to the doctor every time I had back pain, I’d live there. Plus, when I did go for it, they didn’t tell me anything useful. Better off slathering a half a tube of Biofreeze on there and calling it a day.
Jerry: I don’t have any, could I borrow some?
Teri: No, get your own. You know where the store is.
Jerry: I feel so loved and cared for.
Tammi: Dad, losing feeling in your leg is not normal.
Jerry: I’ve never been normal, nothing new here.
Tammi: It’s not funny.
Jerry: So I won’t try a career in standup. It was a little late to get into that field, anyway.
Tammi: Oh, you drive me nuts.
Cindy: He’s okay, honey. He says he’s fine, he’ll be fine. No need to worry.
Steven: Does this mean you can help me with my math homework, then?
Jerry: Sure, why not?
Teri: I thought I was going to help you?
Ralph: Damn, Teri, you want the poor kid to flunk out of school?
Teri: I was only joking, but you don’t have to be rude about it.
Ralph: I’m not rude, I’m a truth teller.
Teri: Oh, don’t go using my own line on me!
Two days later…
Teri: Mom, why is Jerry not here? Did you make him stay to clean up the show or something?
Danielle: He better be home by the time Dancing with the Stars is on, I’m not waiting for it.
Betty: This isn’t on me. He had a doctor appointment.
Cindy: I have to say, I’m pretty worried about it. All that’s going on with him is so strange. Trouble walking, back pain, numbness. I’ve never heard him complain about any of that before just recently.
Danielle: He’s probably just under some stress. It can do terrible things to the body. Even someone with a mind as strong as Jerry.
Cindy: I don’t think it’s anything psychological, though. I think it has to be something physical. It comes on at such random times, like when he’s walking up stairs or eating dinner or something. Not stress-inducing events.
Teri: I would argue that having to look at Frank while eating is pretty stressful.
Velma: I have experience with a husband poorly faking an illness. Could that be it?
Tammi: My dad isn’t faking being sick! What does he have to gain when he still goes to work, unlike Mitchell.
Mitchell: Hey! How did this become an open invitation to roast me?
Frank: Join the club.
Teri: They have a club for losers now?
Mitchell: I am n-
Cindy: Stop fighting! I don’t need the stress! I’m worried about my husband, is it so hard to be a little compassionate right now and lay off the jokes?
Teri: I’m sorry.
Karl: What do you think is going on with him?
Cindy: I’m worried it’s something terrible. I read an article one time about someone who became paralyzed because of a tumor at the base of their spine. I don’t know what their symptoms were, but I worry it’s something like that. The trouble walking, the back pain, it worries me.
Velma: Don’t you think the symptoms would be a lot more severe if it were cancer?
Cindy: The article said this patient didn’t think their symptoms were that severe either.
Teri: Are you really going to believe what you read in the radical liberal media?
Cindy: It was in the local paper.
Teri: Are you really going to believe what you read in the radical conservative media?
Cindy: You’re hopeless.
Teri: Thank you.
Two hours later, Jerry walks in the house.
Karl: Hey, look who’s back!
Velma: How did it go?
Tammi: Mom has been a mess worrying about you!
Jerry: Wow, you’re all talkative today.
Teri: They’re no more annoying than usual. In my opinion.
Cindy: Honey, I need to know what happened at the doctor.
Jerry: Can I sit? I need to sit.
Betty: Oh boy, that bad?
Jerry: It’s not good.
Cindy: I knew it!
Tammi: He didn’t say what it was yet, maybe it’s just the flu and he’s suddenly developed a fear of the flu.
Ralph: That the best you could come up with? Never put her in charge of backing me off a cliff.
Tammi: Hey, I’m going through something right now, too! It’s my dad!
Jerry: I’m not dying, just so you know.
Cindy: Thank God!
Mitchell: Well, we’re all dy-
Velma: Not the time.
Mitchell: I agree, yeah.
Jerry: I need to go for tests, but the doctor is very confident that this is MS. Multiple sclerosis.
Cindy: Oh dear.
Karl: I’m sorry to hear that, kid.
Jerry: He says it’s not a very severe case, but it can really progress quickly. I have a lot of the “red flag” symptoms for it, I’m checking off all the boxes for it. He wants to do an MRI and blood tests to be certain.
Cindy: What’s the next step from here?
Jerry: I really don’t know. There isn’t a cure. There’s medicine to help with the symptoms. If it really is MS, I’ll have to see what he wants me to take.
Tammi: We’re gonna get through this, dad.
Jerry: No. It’s not something that just goes away. What we’re going to do is learn to cope with it. It’s all we can do.
Steven: I missed the conversation. Is grandpa dying?
Velma: Mitchell, do no.
Mitchell: I wasn’t gonna!
Velma: Good.
Jerry: I’m going to be okay.
Steven: Ah, good. You can’t leave me alone with them.
Danielle: Since when did he get so sassy?
Betty: It’s the DeFleur girl, she’s made him less pleasant.
Steven: She has not! She makes me happy, and I love her.
Tammi: No!
Frank: I think it’s sweet.
Tammi: No.
Steven: No what?
Jerry: Even when I’m getting a life-changing medical diagnosis,. I can’t get anyone here to shut up. Never change, guys.
Two days later…
Jerry: Well, just got the call. In Dr. Melman’s professional medical opinion, I do, indeed, have MS.
Ralph: I hate when the doctors are right. They’re always so smug, so cocky. You’re not God, you don’t know all.You just got lucky.
Velma: There’s a lot to unpack there.
Danielle: I would have bet big money on Frank being the one with a vendetta against doctors.
Velma: Or Mitchell, since the doctors are always the ones telling him nothing’s wrong with him and he needs to go back to work.
Karl: How do you feel about this?
Jetty: Like a million bucks. Whattaya mean?
Karl: I mean, are you just glad to get an answer on what it was? How are you handling the confirmation? That sort of thing.
Jerry: I was hoping t was going to be wrong and that I just had a torn muscle or something. That’s not the case, though, so no use dwelling on it.
Tammi: You can dwell if you want to.
Teri: Danielle was telling me about something yesterday, and I really think it’s worth trying.
Jerry: I’m not becoming a pothead.
Teri: Why is that where your mind goes immediately?
Karl: I think it’s because he knows you.
Teri: Danielle, just tell him what we talked about yesterday.
Danielle: You know how I go to the gym every day?
Jerry: I have been told to keep active, but I am not going to a gym. You spend too much to do things you could just do at home instead.
Danielle: If you let me finish talking, you’d know that’s not what i meant.
Jerry: All right, continue.
Danielle: There’s another woman at my gym, she comes in every single day. She walks with a cane and has trouble walking, because she also has MS.
Jerry: This still sounds like you’re trying to sell em on the gym.
Danielle: Her name is Serena. Serena Walkman.
Frank: Walkman. Like the Sony Walkman?
Betty: Hey, she can’t pick her name. I had a friend one, her last name was Butt.
Karl: It was “Butte.”
Betty: Wrong.
Danielle: Serena is the leader of an MS support group in Richmond. They help people cope not only with the symptoms of the disease, but also with the initial diagnosis and all those complex feelings. I really think it could be good for you. Not only to get a solid support group of people who know what it is you’re going through, but also to sort of know what you’re in for down the line.
Cindy: Sounds like a great idea to me!
Jerry: I can give it a try, I guess. Not like I have anything else to do during the day.
Betty: Excuse me?
Jerry: Besides working at the boutique. That’s my main priority and life’s purpose, of course.
Betty: You said that sarcastically, but I’m taking it as a compliment.
Steven: Something tells me you shouldn’t.
Betty: In the words of Barbra Streisand -
Steven: Who is that?
Betty: Don’t rain on my parade!
The next week…
Serena: All right, everyone. Great meeting, today. It’s so great to hear you got your medicine, Dina.
Jerry: I have a question, maybe you can help me with it.
Serena: Jerry, right? The new guy. The rest of you guys ca all head home, no need to stick around.
Jerry: I just wanted know when the meeting is next week.
Serena: Same time, same day.
Jerry: Oh, good. That’s easy to remember.
Serena: I have to say, you didn’t talk too much, but you’re not nearly as annoying as Danielle said you were.
Jerry: Glad to exceed expectations.
Serena: Did you find the meeting informative at all? It can be a lot for newcomers to process, especially since most, like you, have only recently been diagnosed.
Jerry: I took in what I could. It was good to just be with people who know what I’m going through.
Serena: That we do.
Jerry: Can I tell you something?
Serena: Oh no, one day in and you’re already giving me a confessional.
Jerry: I can save it for next week, if you want.
Serena: I’m kidding! Geez, you’re gonna have to learn to take a joke.
Jerry: I didn't know this was such a jokey place.
Serena: We try to have fun sometimes. It’s not all sad and depressing.
Jerry: Well, I didn’t feel that in the meeting.
Serena: When was I supposed to crack jokes? During Lesley’s store about her meemaw dying or Dina’s harrowing tale of getting her insurance to finally be of any assistance whatsoever.
Jerry: That’s fair.
Serena: Wanna go out for a drink? We gotta split before this place turns back into a Weight Watchers at six.
Jerry: Oh, I’m married. I’m sorry if I was leading you on.
Serena: Oh my god! You thought I was hitting on you? It takes more than a little joking around to get into my pants!
Jerry: I didn’t want to get into your, uh… usually when someone asks you out on a drink -
Serena: They just want to chat over a nice beer?
Jerry: Am I so awful to make you so throughly repulsed at the idea of you hitting on me?
Serena: Well, I’m also married. Quite happily, too. My husband Theo’s a dancer, he’s often out of town for competitions, and that makes me happy.
Jerry: Sounds like a good marriage.
Serena: Works for us, that’s what matters.
Jerry: So, where you wanna go for drinks?
Serena: Oh, you still want to do that after sexually harassing me?
Jerry: I did not!
Serena: I’m kidding! I am surprised my personality hasn’t turned you away, though. You seem much more reserved than I’d expected.
Jerry: Oh, you don’t know me then.
Serena: Well, I did just meet you about seventy minutes ago. Most of that time was spent listening to Marion complaining about her Komodo dragon.
Jerry: Well, I’m just a bit nervous about this MS thing right now. I’m usually loud, abrasive, annoying. Sort of like you.
Serena: Ah! I am not loud.
Jerry :Either way, I hope I can come out of my shell a bit more over the coming weeks.
Serena: Most people do. Before we know it, you’ll also be telling irrelevant stories that don’t matter about things not related to MS in any way.
Jerry: I sure hope so!
Two hours later…
Cindy: Someone’s home late! Where were you?
Jerry: Serena and I went out for a couple drinks, j just to get acquainted.
Cindy: Oh, did you?
Jerry: It was nothing for you to worry about. Just two people talking about sports and illness and arguing about politics. We’ve become fast friends, it’ll really help me assimilate into the group. Maybe I can actually speak before Marion and her rambling nonsense stories.
Frank: Is she a liberal?
Jerry: Very much so. Still very nice, though.
Betty: Make sure to thank her for voting to keep Alicia Spanheim in office.
Jerry: I will not be doing that.
Danielle: Besides the drinking with Serena, how’d the meeting go?
Jerry: Pretty well. I think this is going to help me a lot.
Teri: You’re welcome. I’m a hero.
Jerry: You did virtually nothing.
Teri: Keep telling yourself that.
Jerry: I will, because it’s the truth.
What did you think of this episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
