BRYAN
I can’t believe we actually lost the first game of the series.
ROBERT
We? We didn’t do a thing!
MANNY
What I can’t believe is that they shorted the Championship Series to a Best of 3. Don’t they care about money at all?!
HARRY
Don’t you mean the game of baseball?
MANNY
No, I mean money. The more games that are played, the more money there is to be made.
LORENZO
So only two more games left in the season then.
VICTOR
Today could be the last game if the Primitives lose.
LORENZO
They’re not gonna lose, they never lose except for the time when—
MANNY
We all know what happened the one year the team didn’t win. Thanks to that I’m now your babysitter.
ACE
Is it me or is the crowd awfully rowdy for this early on in the game?
MANNY
It’s the playoffs, of course they’re riled up, what do you expect?
ACE
In the first inning though? The game just started!
BRYAN looks over to the scoreboard.
BRYAN
Yeah it’s not the first inning.
ACE
We just got here.
BRYAN
It’s not the first inning though.
ACE
What inning is it then?
BRYAN
See for yourself.
ACE looks all around.
ACE
I can’t tell.
BRYAN
You really don’t know where the scoreboard is?
LORENZO
There’s a scoreboard?
BRYAN
It’s the ninth inning. Tie game.
LORENZO
Sounds like a good time for a stretch break to me.
HARRY
I don’t have any.
LORENZO
I’m sure the dugout has some.
ROBERT
Lorenzo, don’t even THINK about going to the dugout in the ninth inning of a game that could decide if the team wins or loses the series just to get cotton candy.
BRYAN
Yeah, remember a few years ago when you ran onto the field to get cotton candy? Don’t replicate that.
LORENZO
This time is different.
ROBERT
How, exactly?
LORENZO
Because this time, I’m hungry.
LORENZO starts to walk out of the bullpen. BRYAN and ROBERT try to restrain him.
LORENZO
Fine, I won’t go. I’ll just stay here and watch the boring game.
Everyone stays in the bullpen and watches the other team get a hit to the outfield to win the game, and in turn the Championship Series.
MANNY
Can you believe this? The Primitives…lost.
ROBERT
I’m stunned.
MANNY
THE PRIMITIVES LOST!!! THEY LOST!!! THEY LOST!!!
VICTOR
Um…why are you so excited about that?
MANNY
This should show the front office that I wasn’t the problem! They thought by sending me to the bullpen they’d get the team to win every year again, but look at me now!
MANNY runs onto the field and starts celebrating with the other team.
ACE
That’s a shame, I kinda liked having Manny as our coach and now they’re gonna fire him.
ROBERT
I don’t think they care enough about the bullpen to do that.
ACE
They’re escorting him off the field now.
LORENZO
Manny doesn’t get fired if I have a say in it! You can’t stop me this time guys!
LORENZO charges out of the bullpen, goes to the dugout, finds an unopened bag of cotton candy, and runs onto the field to try to save MANNY.
ROBERT
Looks to me that Lorenzo’s being escorted off the field now too. They’re both getting fired aren’t they.
BRYAN
Not if we have a say in it.
HARRY
Okay I think we’ve already had enough people run onto the field.
BRYAN
No, I mean if we all stick together and stand up to the front office they won’t get rid of Manny and Lorenzo!
VICTOR [looking up from his phone]
I hate to add fuel to the fire here but they’re both going viral right now. The TV announcers have no idea what to make of this.
ACE
Here come Manny and Lorenzo now, let’s all act normal.
MANNY and LORENZO return to the bullpen.
LORENZO
Well, it’s been nice being a Primate but I’m afraid it’s time for me to retire.
VICTOR
They fired you?
LORENZO
Not officially but it sure sounds that way.
MANNY
I’m guessing I won’t be anywhere near this team any time soon either.
ROBERT
We have a plan. Guys, this is gonna be one hell of an offseason. Let’s meet back here soon, I’ll discuss.
ACE
Good, because as much as I’d like to hear this plan, I’m getting hungry.
LORENZO
Oh here, I have some leftover cotton candy.
ACE
No thanks, you enjoy it.
LORENZO rapidly eats the rest of his cotton candy and everyone leaves.