Marietta Season 1, Episode 17
Mama Says
Milton is sitting in his office when Arthur DeLine, the New Orleans City Attorney, runs in.
Milton: Hey Arthur, what’s going on? Why do you look so worried?
Arthur: Mayor Landfield, there’s no easy way to tell you this.
Milton: What is it?
Arthur: Today is going to be my final day at the Attorney of New Orleans.
Milton: Arthur! Why?I thought we were friends!
Arthur: We are, Mayor Landfield, but with both of our sisters running for mayor to succeed you, I think it’s best.
Milton: But why? We've worked so well together for this long. The election’s only a few months away.
Arthur: Well, to be quite honest, my sister asked me to resign.
Milton: Oh. Well, then I guess this is a smart decision. I don't want to force you to put a job before family.
Arthur: Serving you and the people of New Orleans has been one of the great honors of my life. Thank you for the opportunity. I’ll see you around sometime.
Milton: Thank you for your service. See ya later, Arthur.
Arthur walks out of Milton’s office, leaving Milton alone.
Milton: Oh Marietta, do you have to ruin everything for me?
One week later, Milton storms in to the meeting of the New Orleans City Council.
Milton: Hello, distinguished members of the city council!
Chairman John Jackson: You’re twenty minutes late, Mr. Mayor.
Milton: We all know each other here, John. You guys can just call me Milton.
John: I will kindly decline that offer, Mr. Mayor.
Milton: That’s fine, John.
John: Because you seem to be have forgotten the other six members of our council, I might as well remind you of all of them right now. From the left to the right, that is Councilor Helene Tran, Councilor Pat O’Sullivan, Councilor Moira Donnelly, Vice Chair Amy Applewhite, Councilor Reggie Barrack, and Councilor DeeDee Adams.
Milton: Thank you for the re-introduction, John. I am, however, quite familiar with the entire council. Especially one of them.
Amy: Hey there Milton!
Milton: Always a pleasure to see you, Vice Chair Applewhite.
Amy: Wish I could say the same.
John: Anyway, Mayor Landfield, why did you call this emergency meeting of the council?
Milton: Well, as you all know by now, City Attorney DeLine retired from his post last week.
John: We are aware, yes.
Milton: I am excited to announce my official selection to fill this vacated post.
John: Did you not get our email, Mayor Landfield?
Milton: No, I did not.
Amy: Ya ain’t filling the post, Milton.
Milton: That is ridiculous.
John: Shall I read the email aloud for the entire room to hear?
Milton: I would appreciate that, yes.
John: I reads as follows: “Dear Mr. Mayor, we are writing to inform you that due to the extremely limited time that you have left in your term as mayor, we will not consider filling the vacant City Attorney post. Sincerely, the New Orleans City Council.”
Milton: Oh. Well, that is a load of you-know-what.
John: It’s fair, Mayor Landfield, and you know it.
Milton: Moira, we’ve known each other since college! How can you go along with this?
Moira: Milton, I tried to stop it. In fact, me and Helene are the only ones who want the position to be filled. Everyone else went along with it.
Milton: That is discouraging.
John: Is that all for today, Mr. Mayor?
Milton: Yes, Chairman.
John: Then I guess this meeting can wrap up early. Good day, Mayor.
Amy: Look at that, everyone! Milton was so late and we still get out early! That’s how short and insignificant this meeting was!
Moira: You don't need to rub it in, Amy.
Milton: I know you’re all leaving, but I’m just gonna leave my pick’s name, resume and contact information here if you guys have a change of heart.
Amy: Can a janitor pick those up and toss them in the trash?
Milton: No, don’t listen to her! I’m the mayor and I demand all of the janitors in this building to leave these here.
One hour later, Milton bursts into Martin and Patty Lynn’s.
Milton: Mom, I have a problem.
Patty Lynn: What is it, Milton?
Milton: So, I talked to the City Council today.
Patty Lynn: Oh boy.
Milton: They refused to consider my nominee for city attorney.
Patty Lynn: I’m sorry Milton.
Marietta: They’re taking the page right out of Harry Adelian’s handbook. He won’t let President Sheryl appoint anyone to the Supreme Court because he’s hoping the Republicans will win the White House in 2020. As if!
Milton: I have some thoughts. First, and this really is troubling tome, did you just say “as if?” I didn’t realize we time traveled back to 1995.
Marietta: Very funny.
Milton: Second, did you just call the President of the Unites States “President Sheryl?”
Marietta: Yes, I did. We are very close.
Milton: Okay… But you do have a point. Clearly the council is just hoping Amy Applewhite will win the mayorship in May so she can fill that vacancy herself.
Marietta: There’s no chance of that. Tammy’s assured me of that.
Milton: Have you seen the polls?
Marietta: Tammy has shielded them from me. Apparently I was “obsessed with them.”
Milton: It’s 37-32. Apparently labeling you as a “coastal elite” really worked for good ole’ Amy.
Marietta: I’m gonna… go. I have to call Tammy.
Marietta heads home, leaving Milton alone with Martin and Patty Lynn.
Milton: So Mom, I wanted to ask you. Since you used to be member of the city council, could you talk to them. They don’t seem to care about what I have to say, but they might listen you.
Patty Lynn: Oh, I don’t know about that. I haven’t been there since I retired in 1998.
Milton: I really think it would help, mom.
Patty Lynn: You should ask your father, he’s even more respected!
Milton: Dad is not nearly as intimidating as you, mom.
Patty Lynn: Aww, really? That’s sweet!
Milton: So can you come talk to them with me?
Patty Lynn: I guess. Maybe it’ll be fun.
Milton: That’s great. I’ll have to call up John Jackson and set up a time to meet.
Patty Lynn: John Jackson? He’s still there?
Milton: He’s pushing 80, but he’s still there and angrier than ever!
Patty Lynn: This may sound crazy, but I’m getting really excited for this. I’m already getting to meet one of my old friends, and it’ll be nice to see what the council is like now.
Milton: I’m glad you’re excited, mom. Too bad they’re all just a bunch of buzzkills nowadays.
Patty Lynn: I’ll straighten them out!
Milton: I’m sure you will, mom.
Two days later, Milton and Patty Lynn go to another meeting of the city council.
John: Mayor Landfield, what’s going on? Why have you asked to speak before us for the second time in three days?
Milton: I come before the council today to ask for the council to consider approving Ron Marks’ nomination to be the City Attorney. Mr. Marks has been a dedicated public servant for decades, and has served New Orleans valiantly. I see no reason to leave this position open for five months when such a qualified candidate is ready and willing to serve.
John: The Council feels that an outgoing mayor has no right to make such a potentially long-term appointment. This is a matter for your successor. We decided this five to two and there’s no reason to continue wasting our time with these meetings. I’m about to end this session right now if you have nothing else of value to add.
Milton: I don't. But I brought someone who does. My mother, former councilor Patty Lynn Landfield.
Amy: You brought your mother? My god, this whole family is a damn joke! You were too afraid to face us and get rejected again that you needed to bring mommy along. Come on Milton, you’re the mayor. Grow a pair.
Patty Lynn: Oh I oughta…
Meanwhile, Marietta and Tammy are filming an ad for the campaign.
Tammy: You’re slipping in the polls, Marietta. This ad really has to knock it out of the park.
Marietta: I don’t know about this script, Tammy. It doesn’t feel like me. It needs to sound authentic for it to be effective.
Tammy: Alright Marietta, I trust your judgment. Just wing it and we’ll see if that works better.
Marietta: Here goes nothing.
Tammy starts filming the ad.
Marietta: Hello, I’m Marietta Landfield and I’m running to be your mayor, New Orleans. My opponents have labeled me a coastal elite and have accused me of being out-of-touch with the citizens of New Orleans. I’m here to tell you that my opponents are all liars. I care about nothing more than the working people of this great city. I couldn’t care less whether my opponents think about me, or whether they try to get ahead by using lies and deceit. What I do care about is that people are listening to these attacks without hearing my side of the story. I ask that you go to MariettaLandfield.com to read about my real record. As your mayor, I will fight for the people, not for my fellow politicians.
Tammy: That got pretty heavy for a moment there, but all in all, it was pretty good. Definitely authentically you!
Marietta: It better work, too! That took me a solid five minutes to think of!
Back at the city council meeting…
Patty Lynn: I consider myself to be a proud former member of the New Orleans City Council. To see this body resorting to the same acts of obstruction that the Senate has been demonstrating is very frustrating. The bias of this council is incredibly clear.
John: Patty Lynn, I worked with you for many years. It troubles me to see someone as distinguished as you making such serious accusations.
Patty Lynn: John, save the holier-than-thou bull for someone else. I enjoyed my time on the council, but nothing comes between me and my family. I am not afraid to ruffle a few feathers.
John: Alright Patty Lynn. I’ve made an executive decision.
Patty Lynn: Do tell!
John: We’re going to give you five minutes to make an argument. If you’re convincing enough, we will hold a vote on the new nominee for City Attorney.
Patty Lynn: Oh, thank you! But I see no reason to deprive the mayor and his nominee from getting to speak here today. They’re far more qualified than I am to speak to you on this matter.
John: No Patty Lynn, we want you. You give a convincing argument for us to vote for the nominee or we aren’t doing it.
Patty Lynn: Alright. Thank you for this opportunity. I’m here on behalf of my son, Milton Landfield, the mayor of this great city. The mayor should be allowed to fill his cabinet, a right being denied to him out of spite and jealousy. Just because a member of this council is running for mayor doesn’t mean that the people of New Orleans should suffer. We are better than this. We have a highly qualified and extremely reliable nominee in Mr., ummm -
Milton: Marks
Patty Lynn: Yes, thank you Milton. Mr. Marks has been an advocate for the people of this city for decades, and will continue in this role. He won’t be the mayor’s attorney. He’ll be the city’s attorney. Someone who we can all count on as a fighter for justice. Someone we need in this important role. There is no reason to leave this position open for half a year when we have someone who can fill that role ready to get to work. I ask you, honorable members of the New Orleans city council, why you want this role to remain unfilled. It doesn’t make much sense to me. You can give all the excuses you want, but deep down, you know what’s right. You know that Mr. Marks needs to be our next city attorney. And if none of that is enough to convince you, may I point you to the fact that since the city attorney serves at the pleasure of the mayor, he can be fired the minute a new mayor takes office? I rest my case.
John: We aren’t in court, Patty Lynn. You don’t need to act so formal.
Patty Lynn: Oops.
John: That was still a very nice speech. I would just like to ask you one thing. Can you tell us Mr. Marks’ first name?
Patty Lynn: I can not.
John: We will take that into consideration as we deliberate. Now if you excuse up, we have a lot of discussion to do so we’re going to go to the meeting room. We’ll be back soon.
The council exits the room, leaving Patty Lynn and Milton to talk.
Milton: Good job mom! Would’ve been better if you remembered the name of the nominee for city attorney, but still, good job.
Patty Lynn: Do you really think it’ll make a difference.
Milton: Who knows. Maybe all it took for the to do the right thing was getting called out.
Patty Lynn: But probably not. Amy Applewhite is extremely convincing. I think it has something to do with the fact that her voice is so soothing, and her face is so pretty.
Milton: Mom! You sound like a teenage boy talking about the girl he wants to take to prom!
Patty Lynn: I’m just saying. She’s very charismatic and I think she’s gonna derail everything. But I don’t get it. If she can just fire him after she takes office, why won’t she let you appoint someone?
Milton: She’s just spiteful. She would probably be the next mayor if it wasn’t for Marietta’s candidacy. It’s what everyone thought was going to happen before Marietta made her announcement.
Patty Lynn: Someone that spiteful doesn’t deserve to be in public office.
Milton: I agree, Mom. Too bad most people don’t seem to care about that.
Meanwhile, the members of the city council are debating…
Moira: I think we really should just vote on the mayor’s nominee. You don’t even need to approve him, just agree to a vote.
Amy: That is ridiculous. Why would we do that?
Moira: Maybe because it’s our job.
Amy: That’s not a reason to do it!
Moira: How did you get elected with an attitude like that?
Amy: My grandmother was extremely old and corrupt.
Moira: How did that help you?
Amy: I ran against her!
Moira: Oh, that makes sense.
Helene: I’m with Moira on this one. There’s no harm in giving this guy a vote.
Amy: Helene, how could you? I’m your friend!
Helene: We are not friends.
Pat: I actually looked at Ron Marks’ resume while you were all bickering. It’s very impressive. I was with you, Amy, but now I think we should at least give him a fair vote.
Amy: That is ridiculous. Why would you listen to facts or reason?
Reggie: I agree. Let’s give him a vote. At least then, nobody can claim that we're obstructionists.
Amy: No! This isn’t right! If we approve this guy, then I don’t get to relentlessly mock Milton Landfield on the campaign trail and talk about how he’s so incompetent he can’t even perform basic mayoral duties.
DeeDee: That’s why you don't want a vote? I thought you just didn’t want the position filled by a lame duck.
Amy: No! I just want to make the Landfields look like fools. And being able to appoint my own councilor without having to fire anyone would be nice, too.
Moira: Why do you even think you’re going to win? Aren't you polling at 15%?
Amy: That was last month! I’m at 30% now!
Moira: In what? Your mind?
Amy: What are you? A Marietta campaign surrogate?
Moira: I haven’t endorsed anyone yet.
Amy: Sure sounds like you’re a Landfield supporter.
John: Enough, you two! We’re going to give the Marks nomination a vote. It might not pass, but we’re voting on it. A consensus has clearly been reached. End of discussion.
The councilors make their way back out to finish their session with Milton and Patty Lynn.
John: Hello mayor and councilor Landfield. This council has reached a decision. We are going to give this nomination a fair vote.
Patty Lynn: That’s great!
John: Now without further ado, we are going to vote. Councilor Adams, you will start.
DeeDee: I see no reason to leave this post open any longer. On the nomination of Ron Marks, I vote yes.
John: Thank you, Councilor Adams. Councilor Barrack?
Reggie: This is not Mayor Landfield’s vacancy to fill. On this nomination, I vote no.
John: Thanks Councilor Barrack. Vice Chair Applewhite?
Amy: This nomination is a pipe dream and it will not pass. No.
Patty Lynn: This doesn’t look good, Milton!
Milton: Amy Applewhite is barely even human, mom. This is a tied vote.
John: Thank you, Councilor Applewhite. Councilor Donnelly?
Moira: I thank our mayor for putting up a qualified nominee for this position. I am a huge, emphatic yes on this nomination.
John: Thank you, Councilor Donnelly. Councilor O’Sullivan?
Pat: I admire the quality of this nominee, but I must vote no.
Patty Lynn: What?
Milton: Yeah, this is not good.
John: Thanks Councilor O’Sullivan. Councilor Tran?
Helene: I vote yes.
John: Thank you for that short and simple answer, Councilor Tran. As it stands the vote is three to three. I vote yes, and the nomination is confirmed. Congratulations Mayor Landfield, you won this one.
Milton: Mom! We did it!
Patty Lynn: Take that, Amy Applewhite! Landfields are invincible! Oh god, did I just say that out loud?
Milton: You did.
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