Marietta Season 1, Episode 19
Where's Martin?
Eliza: Patty Lynn, how do we still have power? There’s a hurricane out there!
Patty Lynn: Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Also, we have a generator, we aren’t animals.
Eliza: I don’t have a generator.
Patty Lynn: Eliza dear, you live in a four room house that your cousin used to use as a campaign office. Of course you don’t.
Eliza: We’re trying to find a place. I just don't have any time right now.
Patty Lynn: You are? Do you want me to help you?
Eliza: Uh… not really.
Patty Lynn: Why not?
Eliza: It’s Elena. She thinks you take over everything you do even when it’s not your place.
Patty Lynn: What? I don’t do that!
Eliza: I know! I think she’s jealous of our bond.
Patty Lynn: I have to tell you Eliza, my husband is missing and god knows what is happening outside to the city I love, but that is the worst thing I’ve heard all day.
Eliza: I’m so sorry, I never should have told you.
Patty Lynn: No, I needed to know.
Marietta: Hey, can you guys be quiet? We’re TRYING to watch Anchorman 2.
Milton: But seriously, why? Why are we watching Anchorman 2.
Marietta: It's the only movie that mom hasn’t seen that she's “comfortable” watching without dad.
Milton: That’s an odd choice.
Marietta: He already went to see it in the theater, so he wouldn’t care if we watched without him. Or so I’ve been told.
Milton: That’s strange, I never really though of dad as a Will Ferrell fan.
Marietta: The more you know, I guess.
Tammy: SHHH!!! Christina Applegate’s character is on screen. I see a lot of myself in her.
Marietta: That’s weird, Tammy.
Eliza is able to walk away from Patty Lynn to have a conversation with Elena.
Eliza: Elena, my love.
Elena: What did you do?
Eliza: I need for you to lie to my aunt if she confronts you about something. I may have told a fib that needs backing up.
Elena: Which aunt?
Eliza: The insane one.
Elena: What did you tell Patty Lynn?
Eliza: I told her that you think she has the tendency be too controlling over everything.
Elena: Well that’s the truth, but I never said that. Why did you say it to her?
Eliza: She wanted to help us look for houses.
Elena: I will do everything in my power to keep your lie forever hidden.
Eliza: Good girl.
Thirty minutes later, the movie ends.
Patty Lynn: Is this storm over with yet?
Marietta: No. And it’s 11:30. We might as well get to sleep, maybe it’ll be over by then.
Patty Lynn: It better be! I have a husband to find!
Marietta: Don’t worry, he’ll be back soon.
Tammy: I don’t mean to interrupt your conversation, but there’s eight guests here and not nearly enough rooms.
Patty Lynn: Not to worry. Milton can sleep in my room with me. I have a futon in there.
Milton: Better than the floor, I guess.
Patty Lynn: Marietta and Tammy can sleep in Marietta’s old room.
Tammy: We get to be roomies, Marietta!
Marietta: You are sixty years too old to say the word “roomies.”
Tammy: Aww.
Tammy: Kathleen’s already sleeping in the guest room. Henrietta and Mason can sleep on the couch, it’s a pull-out sofa, with Charlotte in her crib.
Marietta: I’ve seen Eliza’s place, I’m gonna guess Henrietta and Mason know a thing or two about a pull-out sofa.
Eliza: She’s not wrong.
Patty Lynn: And Eliza can sleep on the recliner. Eliza’s wife will need to find a place to sleep, I don’t have anywhere else.
Elena: Am I really just “the wife” now?
Eliza: Oh sweetie. Probably.
Marietta: Is it just me, or is anyone else curious as to how Henrietta and Mason have been here the whole time and have said zero words. Eliza, is there something wrong with your daughter and son-in-law?
Eliza: No, they’ve just been watching TV on their phones the whole time.
Marietta: Ah, typical teenagers. Typical married, parent teenagers.
The next morning at 7 AM.
Patty Lynn: Okay everyone, time to wake up!
Marietta: Mom! It’s 7 AM! There’s no reason to have to get up so early. Kathie Lee and Hoda aren’t on yet. Oh wait, Kathie Lee will never be on again. Now I’m sad.
Patty Lynn: You’re more sad about Kathie Lee Gifford than you are about your father being a missing person?
Marietta: It’s still raining and flooded out there. He’s probably just stuck at that Walmart he was stopping at, it’s not like he’d be able to get home anyway right now.
Patty Lynn: I know. Alright, let’s all just go back to sleep.
Henrietta: Great Aunt Patty Lynn -
Marietta: She speaks!
Henrietta: I haven’t been able to sleep all night. This sofa is itchy.
Patty Lynn: I may have forgotten to change the sheets the last time we had guests staying on it.
Henrietta: When was that?
Patty Lynn: 2004. Sweet dreams!
Two hours later…
Patty Lynn: Alright everyone, wake up!
Marietta: Oh wow, look outside! It isn’t raining anymore!
Patty Lynn: So we can go look for Martin now?
Marietta: No. It’s still flooding, we can’t drive. And we sure as hell are not walking all the way to whatever Walmart dad potentially is camping out at.
Patty Lynn: Alright. I’m just gonna go have some coffee then.
Milton: Marietta…
Marietta: What is it Milton? Why are you staring at your phone? You’re not Henrietta.
Milton: There’s an issue.
Marietta: Henrietta didn’t hear me, did she? Of course she didn’t, she’s too busy binge watching NCIS: New Orleans or whatever the kids are binging these days.
Milton: Well that’s certainly not it.
Marietta: Oh come on, the kids love Scott Bakula.
Milton: No, you love Scott Bakula. “The kids” don’t know who that is.
Marietta: Anyway, what’s the problem?
Milton: Here.
Milton hands Marietta his phone.
Marietta: Why is Amy Applewhite’s face on your phone?
Milton: Just read it. She sent out a tweet this morning. Read it.
Marietta reads the tweet aloud.
“Where has @RealMariettaLandfield been during Katya? I have been in the French Quarter doing all I can to help the people of this city. Marietta has been hiding out, only caring about her own well-being. #WhereIsMarietta #VoteApplewhite.”
Marietta: B**ch, I’ve been camped out with my mother for almost 48 hours. That is humanitarian work.
Milton: What are we going to do about this?
Marietta: Nothing. We ignore it because it’s so grotesque that I won’t dignify it with a response.
Milton: Wait, no. Reply that to her. Just write “This is so grotesque that I won’t dignify it with a response.” And watch the likes flow in.
Marietta: Alright fine. Let me quick tweet it out.
Marietta sends the tweet, and the power immediately goes out in the house.
Marietta: Mom, what’s going on?
Patty Lynn: AHHHHHHH!!!!
Marietta: Why are you screaming?
Patty Lynn: Because! Now I don’t have power, don’t have a husband, Elena is mad at me, my entire life is falling apart.
Marietta: Don’t be silly, you’ll be fine. We all will. Including dad.
Patty Lynn: I’m so jealous of your confidence.
Marietta: Most people are jealous of me. I am quite great.
Kathleen: Patty Lynn, why isn’t this light working?
Patty Lynn: The generator died, dear.
Kathleen Ah well. If I could make do in a car with nothing but a bottle of water and a box set of ABBA CDs, we can all survive a few days without power.
Marietta: That’s the spirit! My mother needs to take note!
Patty Lynn: I’m sorry Marietta, I’ll try to relax. I know I need to.
Marietta: Well in the meantime, how about we all talk and get to know each other a bit better. Mom, since it’s your house, would you like to start.
Patty Lynn: Gladly. Elena, why don’t you like me.
Elena: I never said that. Just that you’re a bit controlling.
Patty Lynn: When have I ever been controlling?
Marietta: All day, every day. I’m guessing for the last 75 years but certainly for the last 55.
Patty Lynn: Wow.
Elena: I really do like you though.
Patty Lynn: No you don’t. Otherwise you’d want my help.
Elena: Please Patty Lynn, just listen to me. Just because I don’t want you to help us look for our new home doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend time with you or get to know you.
Patty Lynn: I’m just not understanding, I guess.
Eliza: Stop. Just stop. Elena never said anything about you being controlling, Aunt Patty Lynn. That was all me. I didn’t want you to help us look for a place, but I pretended that was Elena saying it because I thought it would hurt your feelings less.
Patty Lynn: Oh, no. I might not like hearing it, but you can say all of that stuff about your family. We all drive each other crazy and we deal with it because our love for one another is stronger. I just didn’t want someone I barely even know thinking that about me when I thought we could become even closer. And don’t worry, I won’t force you to take me house hunting with you. I’m not that crazy.
Eliza: I’m so glad you understand!
Marietta: See mom, your day’s getting better already.
Patty Lynn: other than the power and the love of my life being god knows where, my life’s really looking up right now!
Marietta: Anyone else want to share?
Henrietta: Guess I can chat with everyone now that the internet is down and we can’t watch Game of Thrones anymore.
Patty Lynn: Aww, poor dears.
Henrietta: Well, I haven’t really said anything so I guess first I should introduce myself. I am Henrietta, Eliza’s daughter. I am not Elena’s daughter, though, my mom had me when she was 16. That’s a feat I would go on to repeat myself. Mom ended up marrying my dad and then they got their marriage annulled all before I was born. He moved to Boston with my grandparents when I was six months old because he didn’t like living in Virginia with Great Aunt Anne. So mom moved on, and I did too because I was a baby that didn’t know better. Mom realized that she was the bisexual goddess we all know her as today, and she met Elena. They got married, and that’s when I began to rebel. Not because I didn’t support her or anything, but because for once I wasn’t the center of her world. I knew Mason from school, and we started dating. We went to the drive-in theater one night, and one months later came Charlotte, the center of my world. We got married soon after because I didn’t want a shotgun wedding, and then Great Aunt Anne died. That’s when mom decided she wanted to come back to New Orleans. And the rest, as they say, is history. Wow, it felt really great to get all that out and stop worrying about Daenerys and Jon Snow for a minute.
Marietta: I don’t know what the hell those last words meant, but the rest of it was super insightful. Thank you for sharing, I never knew any of that.
Patty Lynn: Excuse me Marietta, I believe that Jon Snow is the main character on The King of Queens, and Daenerys is his wife. Your father watches it every night before bed on The Nick-At-Nite.
Milton: Mom, that wasn’t even remotely correct. Did you ever even watch The King of Queens? Henrietta was referencing Game of Thrones. How don’t you know that? You have HBO!
Patty Lynn: We only have it to watch Bill Maher.
Milton: Oh mom…
Marietta: Anyway, I’m very glad you decided to open up like that, Henrietta. I hope we all have a chance to get closer and spend more time together.
Henrietta: That would be lovely.
Marietta: So, tell me about Mason. Other than the fact that he’s currently napping. When did you get married?
Henrietta: January 3 of this year.
Marietta: Oh boy. January 3 is a date which will forever live in infamy.
Henrietta: Why’s that?
Marietta: It’s the day that I left the Senate and that village idiot Betty Benoit took my place.
Henrietta: Sorry about that. But at least one of us had a nice day!
Marietta: How are you guys adjusting to the move? I know New Orleans is a lot different than Virginia, and it can be a jarring difference. I know, I used to have a house there.
Henrietta: It’s pretty great, even though I do miss living in Williamsburg. They had a Busch Gardens there.
Marietta: Well, we used to have a Six Flags. So we’re pretty cool, too. Anyway, who else wants to share?
Milton: This isn’t as groundbreaking as Henrietta’s, but I still want to talk about it. I really miss Sarah.
Kathleen: Who’s Sarah?
Milton: My daughter. Has nobody ever mentioned her?
Kathleen: No! I’m going to give Martin hell about this when we find him!
Milton: I don’t talk about her much. Not because I don’t adore her, I really do, but I miss her so much and it sometimes hurts to talk about.
Kathleen: Where is she?
Milton: She’s off at boarding school in Washington DC. She asked to go because they have a great art program, and I let her go because Marietta could visit with her during the week, it was our special arrangement. But now, she doesn’t have anyone there with her. We Skype every night or two, but it’s not enough. I asked her to come home for Christmas, but she had something going on with a friend and I didn’t want to be pushy. So I haven’t seen her in person since Thanksgiving. She’s a brave little girl.
Marietta: I know where you’re coming from Milton. Kyle and Maria have been in North Carolina for two weeks visiting her parents and it’s been killing me.
Milton: How is Maria allowed to travel? Isn’t she like eight months pregnant?
Marietta: They took a train. Her mother insisted but didn’t want to come down to “cesspool” New Orleans. Obviously her words, not mine. I will say though, their whole trip turned out to be a good thing. I love my son and future daughter-in-law very much, but I don’t think I could have dealt with two more people being stuck in this house with us for a week.
Patty Lynn: I’m sorry I invited so many people, Marietta.
Marietta: Don't be sorry! I don’t know how sane I’d be if there weren’t this many of us, actually. I’d probably be going out of my mind if it was just me and Tammy camping out back at my place.
Tammy: That sounds about right.
Marietta: Plus, I can’t think of a better group of people to ride of the storm with.
Patty Lynn: See, I knew this hurricane party was a great idea.
Marietta: Alright, I think most of us have shared that wanted to. Anyone down for a board game? I think Ticket To Ride sound fun right about now!
Tammy: Wait! I want to saw something really quick. But it’s a little depressing.
Marietta: Go ahead, this has turned into group therapy very quickly.
Tammy: Alright. I feel so lonely. I know I have all of you to turn to, but that’s it. That’s all I should need, but I want more. Not because you aren’t enough, you are, but because the Landfields can’t be my only friends. All of my old friends from the Senate are too busy for me, even Kate and Ellie, and it makes me so sad. My husband hasn’t even called me in a month because he’s on some nature retreat. None of my kids ever call me back because they’re all busy with their families. It sucks. I don’t have any real friends here besides the people in this room. And Martin, of course. I love living in New Orleans, but it can be lonely. I live in a hotel room. It’s a nice hotel room, probably bigger than I should be in all by myself, but it’s still a hotel room. I don’t feel like I belong. I hate feeling that way, I really do, but I just don’t.
Marietta: Oh my god, Tammy, I never knew you felt that way!
Tammy: How could you know? I never like to talk about my feelings. Especially with this. I used to have such a luxurious, swanky life in New York, but even then I felt like this. Not this bad, but I still felt that way. I feel like ever since I retired, and Ralph retired from public life, people just see me as the old First Lady who isn't relevant anymore. Someone who’s so desperate that she had to move to goddamn Louisiana to serve as a campaign manager on a mayoral candidacy just to give her life some sort of meaning. And they aren’t wrong! This is my entire life. I missed it so much when I was gone. Even when I went on vacation, and I appeared on Jimmy Kimmel’s show and got to walk down Hollywood Boulevard and have some actual fun, I still felt like this. And it’s not fun. I know I’m usually the goofy, happy-go-lucky one but sometimes this feeling just instantly rushes over me and it sucks. It’s like my mind is a beach. Sometimes, a good wave rushes in and everything is peaceful and serene and nothing can go wrong. Then, a bad wave comes crashing in and it knocks down everything in its path and fills my mind with negativity and sadness.
Patty Lynn: That was so deep.
Henrietta: Wow, I though I opened myself up today. You really spilled the tea, First Lady Yarborough.
Tammy: I don’t know what that means, but I feel like it’s something good, so thank you. Right now I feel a good wave rushing in, and it’s because I finally allowed myself to open us to somebody.
Marietta: Tammy, if you ever need to talk.
Tammy: I know.
Marietta: I didn’t even finish!
Tammy: I know what you’re going to say. And I will humbly accept your offer. You are my best friend and I love you dearly.
Marietta: I love you too, Tammy. You never have to feel lonely when you’re with me.
Tammy: Thanks. Now who wants to play Ticket To Ride?
Marietta: I do!
Patty Lynn: I don’t know. This is Martin’s favorite game. I don’t want to play without him, especially with him being a missing person and all!
Marietta: Mom!
To be continued…
To be continued…
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