Marietta Season 5 Episode 12 - Patty & Kathy 2: Nashua Drift

Marietta Season 5, Episode 12
Patty & Kathy 2: Nashua Drift

Martin walks into the house.

Martin: Kathleen, you got some mail today. I really think you should check it out.

Kathleen: Do I not usually get mail?

Patty Lynn: Well, it’s not like this is your house or anything.

Kathleen: Rude and uncalled for.

Martin: This isn’t your normal store flyers and credit card bills, it’s worth looking into.

Kathleen: In that case, father dear, I’ll get right on it.

Martin: I try so hard to be helpful and this is always the thanks I get.

Kathleen: Isn’t it great to feel so appreciated?

Martin: Just open the letter, okay?

Kathleen: A letter? I don’t get those every day.

Martin: That’s what I told you, no?

Kathleen: It’s early, I’m not thinking straight yet.

Martin: Just check it soon.

Patty Lynn: I think he wants you to check the mail.

Kathleen: Good to know.

Two hours later…

Kathleen: Martin! You didn’t tell me who the letter was from!

Martin: I thought it would be best if you found out on your own.

Patty Lynn: Who is it from?

Kathleen: I’ll give you one hint: Nashua.

Patty Lynn: No! He did not!

Sarah: Can someone in the loop let someone out of the loop know what’s going on?

Kathleen: My ex-husband Elijah sent me a letter. I haven’t spoken to or heard from him in over thirty years.

Sarah: You haven’t spoken since your divorce?

Kathleen: Oh, no. We were divorced in the sixties. We weren’t close after that, but we kept in contact for our daughter Sophia’s case. They had a bad falling out in 1991, and I got involved in it and then Elijah and I had a massive blowout and there’s been no contact ever since.

Patty Lynn: What did he have to say for himself?

Kathleen: Haven’t bothered to read it. It’s currently crumbled up on the desk in the foyer. 

Patty Lynn: I understand why you may not want to, but I think you should consider reading it. He’s a son of a bitch, but this could be important if it’s making him reach out after all these years.

Kathleen: Frankly, I’m not too concerned with what he does and does not find to be important.

Sarah: Was the fight really that bad?

Kathleen: It was bad enough to keep my daughter from talking to her own father for thirty years.

Sarah: So what was it actually about?

Kathleen: Hell if I can remember.

Sarah: Well, that sounds like a perfectly legitimate reason to still hate him.

Kathleen: Would it make you all feel better if I opened the letter?

Patty Lynn: Only if you tell us what’s in the letter.

Kathleen: Let me read it first, would you?

Patty Lynn: Look who wants to read the letter all of the sudden! 

Kathleen: Look, I opened the letter up a little and saw it started with “I’m sorry.” I have to see how this ends.

Martin: Probably unsatisfactorily, knowing Elijah.

Kathleen: That took a surprising turn. At least I have an answer to my question, though.

Patty Lynn: What did he say?

Kathleen: He wants to meet with me at his house to try to patch things up.

Sarah: Is he incapable of traveling here?

Kathleen: Well, he’s got stage four pancreatic cancer. So, travel is probably unlikely.

Patty Lynn: I’ll pack our things and get the car ready. I’ve traveled with you enough to know what you need to take with you

Kathleen: Thank you.

Sarah: What? You’re going to see him? You hate him!

Kathleen: He’s dying. You expect me to deny a dying man’s wish?

Sarah: I’m surprised you’re going, grandma. You’re always fighting, I was under the impression you weren’t too fond of one another.

Patty Lynn: We fight with love. Now, if you excuse me, I have to go back for our road trip, which has somehow become something of an annual tradition.

Martin: Could I come wi-

Kathleen: Ladies only!

Sarah: So I have to stay with grandpa?

Martin: Have to?

Sarah: Sorry, sorry. Get to.

Patty Lynn: He’ll take good care of you. He’ll probably be even more lenient with you than I am.

Kathleen: Is that possible?

Martin: We’ll find out!

One hour later…

Patty Lynn: All right, now that we’re on the road, and it’s just us girlfriends, I have to ask: what, exactly, is our game plan here?

Kathleen: We probably should have thought this out before we left, no?

Patty Lynn: I was trying to be spontaneous and showcase our unique bond.

Kathleen: So we have no set plan in motion for how to get to Nashua, New Hampshire, which is twenty-three hours away from home without any stopping?

Patty Lynn: It doesn’t appear so, no.

Kathleen: What were we thinking?

Patty Lynn: I don’t know, but we probably should have come up with a game plan before we crossed Lake Pontchartrain. This is all up to you, if you want to keep going, I’ll keep going.

Kathleen: We’ve already put a half-hour into this, might as well push forward for another… what, five or six days?

Patty Lynn: All right! So how long do you want to drive today?

Kathleen: Halfway?

Patty Lynn: Well, that’s a tall order. We did leave at nine thirty.

Kathleen: Oh, don't be a snowflake.

Patty Lynn: I have an idea. Kate lives in North Carolina, and that’s about halfway to New Hampshire. We can call Marietta up and have her ask Kate if f we can stay over for the night. The Senate’s not in session right now, so she’ll be home.

Kathleen: Why are we watching Sarah, then?

Patty Lynn: Milton is in California with Senator Choi at the figure skating national championships. Little rat didn’t ask me if I wanted to go!

Kathleen: Since when does Milton like figure skating?

Patty Lynn: He doesn’t! She’s just made fast friends with him and asked him to go to hang out. I deserved that ticket!

Kathleen: Well, you get to do this instead. That’s a good consolation prize, no?

Patty Lynn: Yeah. Sure. So, what do you think of this plan? Good, no?

Kathleen: I guess. It’s better than having to pay a bunch of money to stay in some crappy hotel room that makes you feel like you have bugs.

Patty Lynn: All right, next time we stop, I’ll call Marietta and ask her.

Kathleen: Won’t she be annoyed about you bugging her in the middle of the day? She’s working.

Patty Lynn: She has more free time than anyone I’ve ever known. She’ll be delighted to hear from me.

Three hours later, Patty Lynn calls Marietta…

Marietta: Mother, what are you calling me about? I’m in a meeting!

Tammy: Hi Patty Lynn!

Marietta: Tammy says hi. She’s an idiot.

Patty Lynn: Hi, Tammy! Marietta, I am in Alabama.

Marietta: The hell are you doing there? Were you kidnapped? No one goes there by choice.

Patty Lynn: Your aunt and I decided to go on a spontaneous road trip.

Marietta: Oh, god. Did you kill her? I have enough scandals, I don’t need to get dragged into this now.

Patty Lynn: I didn’t kill her.

Marietta: Can I talk to her, then?

Patty Lynn: She’s in the bathroom.

Marietta: I’ll start planning the funeral.

Patty Lynn: Can you be serious for a minute? Please?

Marietta: Okay. What is actually going on? Why did you leave on a sudden trip? This is how every episode of Unsolved Mysteries begins.

Patty Lynn: Kathleen got a letter from her ex-husband.

Marietta: Which one?

Patty Lynn: Elijah.

Marietta: Is he the -

Patty Lynn: Yeah, him.

Marietta: You didn’t even know what I was going to say.

Patty Lynn: I have a very limited amount of time that I have to talk on the phone, I’m trying to hurry it along.

Marietta: All right, continue then.

Patty Lynn: He wanted her to come see him, because he’s sick. So we up and left for New Hampshire, knowing that he could apparently die at any moment.

Marietta: And you decided to drive, and not fly, because…?

Patty Lynn: We enjoy our road trips, you know that.

Marietta: What do you need from me? I know you’re not just calling to let me know you left, you would’ve allowed me to find out from dad tonight.

Patty Lynn: Nothing!

Kathleen: Are you almost done on there? We need to get back on the road.

Marietta: Aunt Kathleen, how are you?

Kathleen: Doing well considering the circumstances.

Marietta: Yeah, I’m sorry to hear about Elijah.

Kathleen: No, I meant being locked in a car with your mother.

Patty Lynn: Very funny.

Kathleen: I thought so.

Marietta: What do you need my help with? Can’t figure out how to set up the GPS?

Patty Lynn: We have a GPS?

Marietta: Dear God.

Kathleen: We gotta get on the road, and I’m not allowed to drive because -

Patty Lynn: She likes to drink.

Kathleen: Yes, that’s why. What I’m trying to get at is, we wanted to know if you could talk to Kate and ask her if we could stay at her place overnight.

Marietta: Kate’s place? Why?

Patty Lynn: We would prefer to not stay in a place with bedbugs.

Marietta: I will ask her, okay? You owe me one, though.

Patty Lynn: I already paid you back when I gave birth to you. Thank you, my darling! Talk to you soon!

Four hours later…

Kathleen: I have to pee.

Patty Lynn: Didn’t you just go?

Kathleen: An hour ago.

Patty Lynn: And you claim I’m the one that always delays us.

Kathleen: Can you find a bathroom, please?

Patty Lynn: Have you noticed the car moving lately? I haven’t.

Kathleen: Why is the car not moving?

Patty Lynn: We’re in Atlanta. It’s always pretty busy here.

Kathleen: Why did we drive into Atlanta?

Patty Lynn: Because that’s the way Marietta’s lousy GPS told me to go.

Kathleen: Since when do you listen to those?

Patty Lynn: I don’t know.

Kathleen: Why did we ever decide to go on this trip?

Patty Lynn: I feel like we would not have if we put, like, another thirty minutes of thought into it.

Kathleen: I’d say that’s pretty accurate.

Patty Lynn: Impulsive decisions are rarely good ones. That’s why I don’t shop on Amazon at night. Not enough time to think your decisions out thoroughly.

Kathleen: Promise me you’ll pull over the first chance you get so I can go to the bathroom?

Patty Lynn: I don’t want a wet seat, so, yeah. In the meantime, could you put a new CD in? I love Johnny Cash, but I can’t listen to Folsom Prison Blues for a fifth time today. I will do something that puts me in prison myself.

Kathleen: We forgot our CDs, we only have Sarah’s.

Patty Lynn: Why is that?

Kathleen: She took our CD case out and put hers in.

Patty Lynn: Well, you know, I do have to give her some credit for still owning CDs. It’s a dying art among the kids these days.

Kathleen: Should I rummage through here and see what she has to listen to?

Patty Lynn: Anything is better than hearing about Johnny falling through a burning ring of fire yet again.

Five hours later…

Patty Lynn and Kathleen (singing): Good for you, you're doing great out there without me, baby, like a damn sociopath! I’ve lost my mind, I've spent the night crying -

Patty Lynn: Oh, look! We’re here!

Kathleen: Ah, you ruined the fun.

Patty Lynn: It’s almost ten at night and I’ve been driving since nine. I’ve moved past the point of caring about “fun.”

Kathleen: What do you want to take inside with us?

Patty Lynn: I have a little, uh, uh… oh lord, what’s it called?

Kathleen: Bag? Suitcase?

Patty Lynn: Carry-on. I have a little carry-on with all our overnight stuff. I’m always prepared.

Kathleen: What about our food and drinks?

Patty Lynn: I guess we should take those, too. Kate’s rich, she probably has a big fridge.

Kathleen: Can I tell you something?

Patty Lynn: You still have things to take about after twelve hours on the road? My mind is blank.

Kathleen: That much is always obvious.

Patty Lynn: Just say it, I want to get in there, shower, and get to sleep.

Kathleen: Standing here, in the dark somewhere in North Carolina, I’m really not sure what I was thinking when I decided to go see Elijah. I don’t really have much of anything to say to him., even all these years later.

Patty Lynn: I’m going to let you sit on that overnight, because I don’t have the energy to process it right now.

In the morning…

Kate: I’m sorry I missed you last night! I was up early, I had to crash. Senate recess is the only time I ever get any actual sleep.

Patty Lynn: No need to apologize. We’re so grateful you let us stay the night at all. Beats our normal overnight stays when we take our road trips.

Kate: What brings you this way? Marietta didn’t tell me anything, she just asked for a favor and I was happy to oblige.

Kathleen: My ex-husband is dying, and I’m going to visit him. You know, the makings of a pleasant vacation.

Kate: Wow, not exactly happy trails there.

Kathleen: I don’t wish him death, but he was an ass to me. So I’m not really sad. I just want to do this to keep my conscience clear.

Kate: I get it. Well, not really, I’ve never been divorced, but I understand not having empathy for people who’ve hurt you badly.

Patty Lynn: The trip is still on? You said you were reconsidering it last night. I didn’t say it then, but it really made me want to hit you.

Kathleen: We’re going to trek onward. I’ve come so far, I might as well see it all though.

Kate: Where does he live? Close?

Kathleen: Nashua, New Hampshire.

Kate: Well, that’s not close.

Kathleen: No, it’s not. Neither is Asheville, North Carolina, yet we made it this far. We’re gonna go all the way and I’m going to face this. I need to for my daughter, Sophia. I don’t want her to have to do it herself, and I want to be able to tell her I tried.

Kate: That’s a fourteen hour drive, according to Google. Are you going to want to drive all the way there and see him tonight?

Kathleen: What other choice do I have?

Kate: I can ask Ellie if she’d let you stay at her place.

Kathleen: Are you sure you want to put her out like that?

Kate: I love inconveniencing her. She’s always inconveniencing me.

Kathleen: That would be great, then. It’ll give me another day to think of what to say.

Patty Lynn: I have never seen you this nervous, honey. Are you okay with seeing him?

Kathleen: I don’t know how to describe how I feel. I’m afraid it’ll bring back all the bad memories, but I’m also afraid to see him looking sickly. I know it’s selfish. I just don’t want that to be the last memory of him. I have so few good ones, what if this overshadows those? It’s nerve-wracking.

Patty Lynn: So you’re nervous.

Kathleen: Yeah, guess so.

Patty Lynn: Can I just say, you make one heck of an omelette, Kate. This is much better than the normal slop we eat at diners on the road.

Kate: A home-cooked meal is the best way to show you care.

The next morning…

Patty Lynn: Do you have anything to make for breakfast? I thought we could eat before we head out on the road again.

Ellie: Oh, I haven’t been home in a while. I don’t really have much of anything here. Maybe some oatmeal?

Kathleen: Your favorite!

Patty Lynn: I guess we should peel out of here, then. Get something to eat and get to Elijah’s by lunch time.

Ellie: You’re not going to stay longer? It’s only eight.

Patty Lynn: I think we kind of just want to get this over with.

Kathleen: I truly want nothing more. It’s weighing over me but I have to do it. Stupid conscience.

Patty Lynn: And here I thought you didn’t have one! It’s never too late to learn!

Ellie: Maybe you guys can stop back on your way home? I wanna catch up.

Patty Lynn: We’ll definitely try. I don’t know when that’s happening, though. Are we going to do something while we’re up here.

Kathleen: We have to do something fun on this trip, it can’t be all misery. I always wanted to see Acadia.

Patty Lynn: The ride was fun!

Kathleen: Was it?

Patty Lynn: We learned the lyrics to every song by someone named Dua Lipa.

Kathleen: This was the highlight of our trip. That sound like a good trip to you, Ellie?

Ellie: Please don’t drag me into this.

Patty Lynn: It’s not as bad as she claims, Ellie.

Ellie: Okay, you seem to have had a great trip.

Kathleen: Don’t give in to her!

Ellie: I’m going to go make that oatmeal I was talking about earlier.

Patty Lynn: Yeah, we’re going to get going. I’ll program the GPS.

Ellie: I just found an old McDonald’s egg sandwich in here if you want it!

Patty Lynn: We’ll pass.

Ellie: Okay, your choice.

Patty Lynn: Kathleen, do you have that envelope with Elijah’s address on it?

Kathleen: I think it’s in my purse. Wait… where’s my purse?

Patty Lynn: Did you leave it in the car?

Kathleen: I was pretty out of it last night.

Ten minutes later…

Kathleen: I can’t find the address anywhere. I looked. It’s not in my purse.

Ellie: Where have you taken the purse?

Patty Lynn: Is it at Kate’s?

Kathleen: Let’s call her.

Patty Lynn: Poor Kate.

Patty Lynn calls Kate.

Kate: What’s going on? You get to Ellie’s okay?

Patty Lynn: I think we left an envelope in your guest room. Could you check for us and read it off for us?

Kate: Oh, you two always make me laugh. Let me go check.

Kathleen: Did she find it

Kate: She sure did!

Patty Lynn: You are a life saver!

Ellie: And I’m here too.

Two hours later…

Patty Lynn: You want me to go in with you?

Kathleen: No, I think I have to do this on my own. Thank you for supporting me on the ride, though. All 68 hours of the ride.

Patty Lynn: I am such an incredible friend.

Kathleen: All right, I’ll see you on the other side.

Patty Lynn: I’ll just be here, listening to Dreams, a song Sarah thinks she personally discovered.

Ten minutes later…

Patty Lynn: That it?

Kathleen: I’m just glad I did it, and that it’s over.

Patty Lynn: You want to talk about it?

Kathleen: Maybe later.

Patty Lynn: That’s understandable.

Kathleen: Hey, thank you for this.

Patty Lynn: In the words of Dionne Warwick, who Sarah also has a CD of for some reason, that’s what friends are for.

Kathleen: You were, weirdly enough, my anchor through this. Couldn’t have gotten through it without you.

Patty Lynn: All right, wanna go see Acadia?

Kathleen: Do we know anyone there there with a guest room?

What did you think of this episode of Marietta? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode next week!

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