Our House Season 5 Episode 12 - Our Ex

Our House Season 5, Episode 12

Our Ex

Betty is on her laptop in the living room while she waits for dinner to be ready.

Betty: Hey, does anyone know who Randy Frack is? He just sent me a friend request on Facebook.

Frank: People still use Facebook?

Betty: You’re a jackass.

Velma: Aren’t you still an active Facebook user?

Frank: Why does everyone have to be so mean to me?

Mitchell: I find that they chill out when you stop sticking your nose in the business of others. It’s why I never talk.

Velma: You talk all the time, unfortunately.

Mitchell: Never about things that don’t concern me.

Velma: Almost exclusively about things that don’t concern you.

Betty: So no one knows who Randy Frack is? I’m declining this, then.

Teri: Wait, it’s coming back to me.

Cindy: What’s coming back to you, Celine Dion?

Teri: I think that’s the name of Danielle’s ex-boyfriend.

Betty: The one with the sons who hated her?

Teri: Yeah.

Betty: Ooh, juicy! Why would he be friending me, though?

Teri: I have no idea, I don’t think he even knew you existed.

Betty: Maybe he came into my shop and saw me at work. I am so charismatic. I could’ve been a Hollywood star, too bad Meryl stole all my gigs.

Teri: You were an everyday Katharine Hepburn. Now, don’t accept that request. No need to get involved in any of Danielle’s personal business there.

Cindy: Where is Danielle, by the way?

Teri: She was thrown on the late shift. It’s a disgrace, really. Who will I have to gossip with at night if she keeps working this shift?

Velma: You still have me.

Teri: Like I said, what am I gonna do?

Three days later…

Teri: You look a bit despondent today, what’s going on?

Danielle: My ex, Randy, do you remember him?

Teri: Uh… yeah, I’d say I do.

Danielle: He died last night.

Teri: What? What happened? Was it some sort of accident?

Danielle: Pancreatic cancer. From what I heard from some of the people I used to work with, he went pretty fast, which is sort of a blessing. Lingering and suffering is no way to “live.” He was apparently unconscious for most of the last few weeks, so like I said, a bit of a blessing.

Teri: Are you okay? How are you dealing with all of this?

Danielle: I just found out. I cried a bit, then I thought about our time together. I cried a bit more, and thought about how things ended. Then I cried some more, because that mythical “closure” is never coming.

Teri: This is some advice my dad gave me when I was dating some horrible boy back in high school and we broke up because he moved away without telling me -

Danielle: My god, how embarrassing!

Teri: Hey, I’m trying to cheer you up here!

Danielle: Sorry, what did he say?

Teri: He said that there’s no such thing in life as perfect endings. You have to accept the fact that sometimes, you never get the chance to wrap things up the way you wanted to. It’s not your fault that life had other plans than you did.

Danielle: That’s a good way to look at it, I guess. It probably still won’t help keep this from eating away at me, but it’s something to keep in mind.

Teri: Do you want me to make you something for lunch? Maybe it can take your mind off everything.

Danielle: Teri, it’s ten in the morning.

Teri: We can call it brunch.

Danielle: I already had breakfast.

Teri: Then do you want to go to a movie?

Danielle: Now you’re talking!

Teri: So, what did you want to go see?

Danielle: That Tom Hanks movie with the cat looks nice. Cats cheer me up any other time.

Teri: Not my cat Jane. I named her after Jane Pauley from the Today Show and, like Jane Pauley, she had one hell of a bite. When she came for you, you bled.

Danielle: What does this have to do with what I said? Are you trying to bring me down?

Teri: I miss Jane. She was such a unique creature. No cat has ever made me bleed nearly that much since.

Danielle: Very touching tribute.

Four hours later…

Danielle: Why did you let me see that movie? That was so sad!

Teri: The main character’s name was Otto! I could only assume that this meant it was going to be a non-stop laugh riot.

Danielle: It wasn’t!

Betty: Don’t tell me what happened!

Karl: We have tickets to go see it on Friday, that’s when they have the senior citizen discount at the theater.

Ralph: Bet you wish you knew that before you went today, say Teri?

Teri: It’s for seniors, Ralph.

Ralph: Yeah, I heard.

Teri: You’re ten years older than me.

Jerry: What an own-goal by Ralph.

Danielle: I’m not in much of a mood to be social right now, guys. I’m gonna head to my room.

Tammi: See, you reminder her of the concept of time and now you’ve upset her. I’m sorry they’re so stupid.

Danielle: It’s not them.

Betty: Was the movie that sad? That damn cat better not have died.

Teri: It’s not the movie, just let her go.

Karl: You feel better, Danielle.

Danielle walks to her room.

Cindy: Teri, what is going on with her? She’s always a bit moody, but that’s just because she’s from Brooklyn. This is unlike her.

Teri: Her ex-boyfriend died yesterday.

Betty: No!

Velma: I’m assuming you’re talking about, uh…

Teri: Yeah, that one. Randy.

Cindy: Oh, my god…

Tammi: Was it sudden?

Teri: Apparently he’d been in a coma for the past week or two. He had pancreatic cancer.

Ralph: Mom, you’re sure that friend request was from three days ago?

Betty: Yes! I’m not crazy.

Ralph: Debatable.

Jerry: Do you think a ghost sent it?

Tammi: Oh, god. Really dad?

Steven: Hold on, hear him out.

Jerry: What if his soul had already left his body by that point and he used that Facebook request as a way of communicating one last message to Danielle?

Tammi: I heard him out. It was as insane as I was expecting.

Betty: I can get behind it. It’s clever.

Teri: Should we tell Danielle about this?

Tammi: Tell her that her not-yet-dead-at-the-time ex-boyfriend’s ghost sent grandma a friend request on Facebook? I don’t know if that’s the best idea while she's in a fragile state.

Betty: I think she should know. I’d want to know.

Teri: You were the one that got the friend request, so I guess you can be the one to tell her.

Betty: That works for me. I’ll tell her at dinner, if she comes out of her room then.

Karl: When did she find this out, on the way home from the movie? That had to be hard for her to hear.

Teri: She found out this morning, we went to the movie to get her mind off of it. That clearly didn't help.

Velma: I have to give her credit, I don’t think I have any exes whose deaths I’d be anywhere near that upset to hear about.

Mitchell: That’s because you have me, and I made you forget about all off them.

Velma: No, it’s because, as everyone can see for the last thirty years, I have terrible taste in men.

Teri: I think the most upsetting thing for her was the lack of closure. They were together for ten years and then split abruptly and never saw one another again. If it wasn’t for one of their old work colleagues telling her, she might not have found out about him for a long time.

Velma: What made them split up?

Teri: She didn’t get along with his sons at all. Eventually, it just added too much tension to the relationship and they split, but I think she would’ve like for thinks to have broken off more cleanly and for them to have ended on a less sour note.

Karl: Unfortunately, not everything can be wrapped up in a tight little bow. A lot of relationships have rocky endings. What’s important is the focus on the good moments.

Teri: I know, I told her that.

Karl: Did you tell her about the boy who left you in mi-

Teri: Yes, yes.

Velma: Hold on, I want to hear more about that.

Teri: Thanks, dad.

Later that night…

Betty: Danielle, how are you feeling?

Danielle: My feelings change. Sometimes I feel content, then a regret pops into my head and I feel sad again.

Karl: That is a very normal way to feel when a former acquaintance dies. There are moments where it doesn’t weigh on your mind, and then there are others where you can only think of what you wish you’d done. What’s done is done, you have to always remember that.

Danielle: I know. I wouldn’t really change much, either. I wasn’t happy with him, but I wish I’d gone about it more gently. That’s really it.

Betty: Have you considered telling him that?

Danielle: I think that would be pretty hard, unfortunately. Did you miss the news today?

Betty: No, I did not, and I’m very sorry for your loss. I just think he’s more present than you realize.

Danielle: He was barely present when he was alive, that was one of our main problems.

Betty: Okay, maybe don’t insult the dead.

Danielle: You’re right, that was wrong.

Betty: I don’t know how to tell you this.

Tammi: You don’t need to.

Betty: No, I have to. Danielle, a few days ago, I got a friend request from Randy. I didn’t know he was even your ex at first, not until I asked Teri if she knew his name. I don’t know how he got my name or how he knew that I knew you.

Tammi: He was in a coma then.

Betty: Yeah, I know. I think it sent by his spirit, as a sign to you of some sorts.

Tammi: Ah, she said it.

Danielle: That is some theory.

Betty: I promise you, it really was sent three days ago. I don’t know how to explain it other than that.

Danielle: You know, you could be right. Stranger things have happened.

Cindy: I don’t think Stranger Things was a documentary, actually.

Ralph: It could be the name of a Kate Bush documentary, though.

Danielle: Betty, you just gave me quite the unusual gift, and I appreciate it.

Betty: I’m always happy to help.

Ralph: Usually she helps us with submission videos for America’s Funniest Home Videos, so this is a shakeup.

Later that night, in Danielle’s room…

Danielle: Randy, I don’t know if you’re out there listening to me, but Betty sure seems to think you are. I want you to know, I wish things ended better. We weren’t a match, but you were a good man and I wish we could have stayed in touch. I cared about you a lot more than my actions indicated. I hope wherever you are, you know that. You deserved more time here. I’m so glad for the time we had together. I know there’s another light shining down on me now.

Three days later…

Danielle: Teri, thank you for coming with me to the funeral. That was hard.

Teri: I knew it was going to be, I couldn’t let you do it without some help.

Danielle: It was a little awkward when they all thought you were my wife.

Teri: Do we give off that energy?

Danielle: I didn’t think so. Now I’m reconsidering everything.

Teri: I didn’t go up with you, so I have to ask: how were his sons?

Danielle: They were fine. They actually, um, they answered a big question I had.

Teri: And what would that be?

Danielle: They said they didn’t send that request to your mom. They don’t know anything about it, but did see the account and it was certainly his.

Teri: Well, that’s freaky. Everything involving mom usually is, though.

Danielle: I gotta say, though. I am a little pissed about something.

Teri: I’m sure you’ll let me know what.

Danielle: He stole my song.

Teri: He what?

Danielle: Randy knew that Blackbird by The Beatles was my favorite song ever, I introduced him to it. I walk in, and what’s playing at his “special request?” Blackbird!

Teri: Do you get deja vu, huh?

Danielle: I usually appreciate a good Dua Lipa reference -

Teri: Olivia Rodrigo.

Danielle: Yeah, sure. Either way, I’m too annoyed for that right now.

Teri: Ah, how quickly we move from sadness to peacefulness to rage.

Danielle: Let me tell you, he better hope I find a new song before it’s my time, or I am going to give him one hell of a talking to when I see him again.

Teri: There’s the spirit. I think?

What did you think of this episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!

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