Gretchen, Samantha and Jeanne are appearing together at the dedication of a new statue.
Samantha: Who was this guy, anyway?
Jeanne: You’re asking me?
Samantha: I figured you’d know.
Gretchen: He was a senator.
Samantha: A good one?
Gretchen: He was a Republican.
Samantha: So, no.
Gretchen: He just died last year…
Samantha: How come I didn’t hear?
Gretchen: Pratt, it’s not my job to tell you who died.
Samantha: Well, I’m sorry not all of us have assistants to tell us the latest news about political deaths!
Jeanne: Wait this guy was a senator? How come his name rings no bell whatsoever?
Gretchen: He was a state senator. You held a moment of silence for him on the senate floor when he died.
Jeanne: I have no recollection of that, but I usually do just ignore any conversations on the floor that aren’t relevant to whatever legislation I’m working on at the moment.
Gretchen: Wonderful admission from the senate leader.
Jeanne: You think everyone else pays attention to the nonsense being spewed on the floor?
Samantha: I think most people pay attention to tributes to the dead. It’s what’s respectful.
Jeanne: Come on, the In Memoriam is when all the Hollywood celebrities take a bathroom break at the Oscars. Why would they stay in the audience when they know there’s ten minutes where there’s no chance they’ll be the center of attention?
Gretchen: Anyway, maybe we should be quiet and just listen. Would that be okay?
Jeanne: I’m bored, let me gossip.
Gretchen: You are exhausting.
Jeanne: I’m aware. I take pride in it.
Gretchen: One can tell.
Samantha: Why’s this guy getting a statue, anyway? We’re not just handing statues out to every who gets elected in this state are we? That’s an inefficient use of funds I’ll have to address that when I’m elected.
Jeanne: Dream on.
Samantha: I’ve seen the polls. I’m gonna beat you!
Jeanne: Sure you are!
Carol: Would you people shut up? I can’t even hear this absolutely lovely speech about… whoever the hell this guy is.
Gretchen: I’ve tried my best. They’re like a couple of rowdy children.
Carol: You’re talking just as much!
Gretchen: I don’t think that’s fair.
Carol: It’s completely fair. Now, I’m changing seats, maybe if I get away from the Three Mouthketeers, I’ll figure out who the hell this guy is and why they built a statue of him.
Sarita: His name’s Alan Wallis, he fought for the funding for this park when he was in the state senate.
Carol: Not now, Massachusetts, I don’t have time to listen to your nonsense.
Sarita: I was just -
Carol: Keep it!
Sarita: Okay, then.
Later that day at the capitol…
Samantha: Hey, Mary, did you ever decide on that endorsement? Your voice is really meaningful in our state, I would really be honored to have your support.
Mary: I haven’t decided yet. I think I just want to wait it out until the field is fully formed. There’s so many rumors going around, I just don’t know who is going to jump in.
Samantha: You’re waiting to see if something better comes along?
Mary: I just don’t want it to be premature. Whenever I endorse, I want it to be at a time where it’s impactful. If I endorse you now, then three more people jump in for a primary that’s not for another year, then my endorsement will be swept away from the headlines fast. No one will remember. But from the candidates in the race now, you’re at the top of my list!
Samantha: I do appreciate hearing that. And I approbate your time. I don’t want to harangue you too much.
Mary: Oh, no, you always come across as very pleasant, very respectful. No haranguing.
Samantha: Ah, good. Sometimes I worry that I’m a bit too aggre-
The heel of Samantha’s shoe breaks and she falls backwards, down the steps of the capitol.
Mary: Samantha! Are you okay?
Samantha: I can’t get up!
Mary: Did you hit your head?
Samantha: I hit my… everything.
Mary: I’m going to call 9-1-1. Don’t move! They say to let medical professionals move someone after a hard fall.
Samantha: I’m not going to move. I can’t.
Mary: That's... not good.
Samantha: No, it’s not.
Mary: At least you’re alive!
Samantha: I don’t feel like I am.
Thirty minutes later…
Gretchen: Carol, why is there an ambulance outside?
Carol: Why would I know?
Gretchen: You keep close tabs on what’s going on in this building. You’re sort of in charge.
Carol: Not really, no. I keep tabs on what you need to know. I don’t know if you need to know what’s going on with that ambulance. I can go find out if you want.
Sarita: Oh, they’re wheeling someone out in a stretcher.
Gretchen: That is how it tends to go when one is called/
Sarita: Is that Mary?
Gretchen: Mary’s in the stretcher?
Sarita: No, I can’t see who’s in the stretcher. Mary’s walking with the stretcher.
Gretchen: Mary’s an EMT now?
Sarita: Walking along with the EMTs. She seems to be talking to the person in the stretcher.
Gretchen: That’s not really helpful.
Carol: Maybe we can call Mary?
Gretchen: I don’t want to bother her, she’s clearly got a lot on her plate right now.
Carol: Then let’s move on from this saga.
Jeanne: Gretchen, I have news. I didn’t want you to find out from the actual news, so here I am.
Gretchen: What is going on in this place today?
Carol: Depending on what the news is, that’s a pretty considerate thing to do. I’m surprised from you, Jeanne.
Jeanne: I’m a good person. Speaking of which, do not shoot the messenger, but Samantha Pratt fell down the stairs.
Gretchen: Why would I shoot the messenger for that?
Jeanne: You’re good friends, no?
Gretchen: We tolerate one another.
Carol: That’s an odd way to describe your relationship, especially when she’s just fallen down the stairs.
Gretchen: How serious is this fall?
Jeanne: She’s being taken away in an ambulance.
Gretchen: That explains it!
Jeanne: What?
Sarita: We were watching an ambulance out the window, we couldn’t figure out why it was here.
Jeanne: Is see the governor’s office is hard at work once again.
Gretchen: And in just fifteen short months, you too can hold this esteemed office and all of the many responsibilities that come with it!
Later that night…
Gretchen: I’m sorry, everyone, I won’t be staying.
Lucinda: Why not? Got a hot date?
Anthony: I hope not!
Lucinda: As if you’d do anything fi she did. You’re whipped!
Toby: What does that mean?
Anthony: None of your concern. Now, Gretchen, why are you heading off again?
Gretchen: I have to go to the hospital.
Anthony: Are you all right?
Lucinda: Does she look it?
Anthony: I genuinely can’t tell if that was a dig or not.
Lucinda: This time, it actually wasn’t. Not at her, anyway. There’s obviously nothing wrong with her.
Gretchen: I am fine, she’s right. Samantha Pratt is not, though. She fell down the stairs at work today, and I don’t know how she is, but I need to visit her. First, though, I had to eat and change into something more casual. I don’t know how long I’ll be there, but I don’t want to be irritated from being hungry and wearing uncomfortable clothing and shoes.
Lucinda: Well, no one’s made dinner yet.
Christina: I can make something quickly.
Gretchen: No, it’s fine, we have leftovers.
Lucinda: Leftovers? For dinner? Are we peasants?
Gretchen: You can be such an elitist. Especially for a woman of working-class beginnings.
Lucinda: I know what it’s like to be poor. It’s why I refuse to revert to the poor lifestyle!
Later, at the hospital…
Gretchen: Mary, what’s going on?
Mary: The doctors are still doing X-rays and MRIs or whatever. I don’t know, they didn’t tell me anything directly, this is all from her husband. I didn’t want to prod.
Gretchen: Where is her husband?
Mary: In her room.
Gretchen: They already got her a room?
Mary: She’s obviously going to be here a while, I guess they figured they might as well get her settled in. Her mom’s in there, too.
Gretchen: You have any idea what happened?
Mary: We were talking at the top of the stairs and she just fell backwards and tumbled down. I down. It was horrible. She shrieked out in pain, and I was happy, because I knew that at least meant she was conscious. I’ve never seen a fall like that. It looked like the scene in Death Becomes Her.
Gretchen: Always what you want your injury to be compared to, the scene where Meryl Streep’s neck literally snaps backwards and she dies.
Mary: At least that kind’t happen to Samantha. It could’ve been worse!
Gretchen: Pratt’s a tough broad. I feel confident she’ll be just fine. But I’m gonna wait her until I can confirm that with my own two eyes. She’d wait for me if our positions were reversed.
Mary: You really do like her.
Gretchen: I’m shocked to admit it, but yeah. She’s been a friend. A very weird friend, but a friend.
Two hours later…
Wilma: Ladies, she can have visitors now.
Gretchen: Oh, good, I almost fell asleep out here.
Mary: I got jello. With whipped cream!
Gretchen: Our Speaker of the House is amazed by the concept of a hospital having jello. Fascinating.
In Samantha’s room…
Samantha: Gretchen, you came! And Mary, you’re still here?
Mary: I wasn’t about to leave without knowing you were fine.
Gretchen: So what in the heck happened?
Samantha: I broke my hip.
Gretchen: Oh my god!
Samantha: I’m getting a hip replacement before my ninety year-old mother. Who could’ve guessed that?
Wilma: I can hear you, you know?
Samantha: Are you hiding behind the curtain?
Wilma: I’m not going to stand in the hallway like a peasant. This is the best I can do to give you some privacy.
Samantha: Anyway, I’m having surgery tomorrow. A long, grueling, annoying surgery, with a long, grueling recovery time. I’m going to be calling this room home for the next week or two. I won’t be back at work for a month. I won’t be able to walk unassisted for a month either.
Gretchen: I guess that’s better than the alternative. A fall from that high up, on sails like that, could’ve been deadly. And even if it weren’t, you could’ve ended up with brain damage from hitting your head. We’ll get you a new hip and you’ll be as good as new.
Samantha: I’m just embarrassed. I feel like some feeble old lady.
Mary: We all have accidents. Klutziness knows no age. My kid have taken spills and ended up in this same hospital.
Samantha: They didn’t break their hips, though. I’ll never be exactly the same after this. I’m going to walk like an old lady.
Wilma: You are an old lady!
Samantha: But I don’t want to feel like one!
Gretchen: You need to put your pride aside and just be happy you’re okay. I was so worried it was even worse than this. You’re going to be fine and you’ll be back to doing whatever it is that a lieutenant governor does in no time!
Samantha: How am I going to explain my absence from the public eye?
Mary: It was a public incident. People know what happened.
Gretchen: Also, you think people will notice the lieutenant governor being MIA for a month? I don’t mean to demean you, but no, they will not.
Samantha: I’m supposed to be campaigning, I won’t even be able to do that.
Gretchen: People will understand. Actually, this might get you sympathy from voters! Your poll numbers are going to soar!
Samantha: I highly doubt that.
Gretchen: Stranger things have happened! This is gonna be free publicity for you! Your name recognition will go up! That can only help!
Samantha: I don’t even know if I want to keep running after this.
Gretchen: Excuse me? Did Samantha Pratt, the most ambitious person I know, just insinuate that a little broken hip is going to sideline her?
Samantha: I’m human. And I’m clearly slowing down. I’m falling apart. Maybe it’s time to go out on top.
Gretchen: This is not going out on top. Dropping out from the gubernatorial race — again —because of a little fall down the stairs is going out sad. Keep fighting! You’re a fighter.
Samantha: I just don’t know if I have the energy. This recovery’s going to take up so much of my time.
Gretchen: I think this is just the painkillers talking. You’ll be through this all in a few days, and you’ll have a clearer head.
Samantha: I don’t know if I’ll think any differently then.
Gretchen: There it is! Doubt! That means at least part of you wants to stay in the race, because you know this would be an awful reason to drop out!
Samantha: I’ll just keep pondering it. I have plenty of time to ponder.
Gretchen: That you do. Do you need me to get you anything to make your stay better? You’ll be here a while, might as well get cozy.
Samantha: I’m good, but thanks for asking. They already sort of got everything I needed.
Gretchen: Talk with them about this, too. I don’t want to be the only one you bounce this silly idea off of.
Mary: I’m also here, and I also think it’s a bad idea.
Gretchen: Thank you for the support! But, I don’t want it to feel like this sisterly tag team is pressuring you into doing something you don’t want to do. You know in your heart if you want to keep going. But don’t decide before you have to. The primary’s far away, you have plenty of time for rehab before you truly need to decide.
Samantha: I appreciate the words of encouragement.
Gretchen: I’m going to leave you be. I will be back tomorrow after the surgery, if you’ll have me. It’s pretty late now, so hopefully we can have more time tomorrow to just shoot the breeze and help get your mind off of everything.
Samantha: I’m so glad you came! Jeanne didn’t even call! Even Hank called!
Gretchen: Well, Jeanne is… Jeanne.
Samantha: That’s a good way to put it. She’s Jeanne, and she always will be.
What did you think of this episode of Raymond Island? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!
