Marietta is at Patty Lynn’s for dinner.
Patty Lynn: Anything interesting happen with any of you this week?
Maria: I cosponsored my first bill!
Milton: She did indeed. I cosponsored the Senate version of the same bill.
Patty Lynn: Very exciting stuff! I’m very proud of you.
Marietta: So am I, although, cosponsoring isn’t all that big of a deal. You can sign your name onto anything you want. Now, passing a bill you wrote, that is major. That’s going to happen one day for Maria, and we’ll throw a party!
Amy: You’re such a party-pooper.
Tammy: You’re saying that? Antagonistic Amy?
Amy: No one calls me that!
Kathleen: Eh…
Tammy: You are the most antagonistic person I know.
Amy: This must be what it feels like to have a stalker.
Sarah: Now kiss!
Patty Lynn: Sarah, please. Be civil.
Sarah: They’re the ones not being civil! I was suggesting a peaceful resolution.
Patty Lynn: You were trolling. Be honest.
Sarah: Fine, I was trolling.
Tammy: Good, because I wouldn’t kiss her with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.
Amy: You’re a mean one, Mrs. Grinch.
Patty Lynn: Did anyone have anything more pleasant to share? Something that will stir up less drama.
Kyle: Yeah. Mom, dad said he wanted to talk to you.
Kathleen: Oh, this is sure to cause no drama.
Marietta: He has my number, he’s free to give me a ring. No need to go through you.
Kyle: He said he’s called three times in the last three days, you just haven’t called back. He figured I’d be able to get you to give him a call.
Marietta: Very well then.
Amy: So that clap-back backfired.
Marietta: I don’t think anyone asked for your perspective, Amy.
Patty Lynn: I wonder what Danny wants.
Marietta: Who cares? Today’s my day to relax, I’m not about to worry about my damn ex-husband. Besides, if it were really important, he’d have left a message.
Kyle: He did leave a message, you just don’t know how to play your messages.
Marietta: Stop making me look bad.
Milton: You do that all on your own.
Marietta: I am a victim. I am bullied. I won’t stand for this.
Milton: My god…
Tammy: Give her a break, she’s had a couple to drink.
Kathleen: Is she gonna have to stay here tonight? I’m not giving up my room.
Patty Lynn: We have plenty of other rooms.
Milton: Besides, I can drive her.
Marietta: I’ve had one glass of wine! That’s it!
Tammy: And it’s got you feeling brave.
Amy: Maybe it’s a good thing she didn’t become president, one glass of wine would have her insulting world leaders.
Marietta: I would never I’m a professional.
Moira: Besides, as we all know from when she met up with the president of Finland, she doesn’t insult world leaders when she drinks with them: she parties with them.
Marietta: We don’t need to dwell on that. Ever again.
Patty Lynn: Okay, dinner time!
Kathleen: Thank god. It’s about time all these people shut up.
Later that night, Marietta returns home and calls Danny.
Marietta: Danny, I’m sorry I’m calling so late. I just saw Kyle and he told me you wanted to reach me, and I didn’t want to forget, so I made sure to call right away.
Danny: I’m glad you called, finally. I’ve been trying for days to reach you, I thought you blocked my number.
Marietta: Ah, no. I’m just awful at checking my phone. And I’ve been so busy. So what’s going on?
Danny: Marietta, I’m sorry to have to tell you like this.
Marietta: What?
Danny: I’m getting emotional even thinking about it. It’s hard to say.
Marietta: What is it? Are you okay?
Danny: Marietta, Oscar died.
Marietta: Oh my god! Why didn’t anyone tell me?
Danny: I tried!
Marietta: You could’ve come see me!
Danny: It didn’t really register as an option for me. I’ve been in a haze.
Marietta: That’s understandable! What the heck happened, was he sick?
Danny: He was on vacation in Italy and he just didn’t wake up. I didn’t speak with his wife but Martha did and said he was completely fine the night before. It was a heart attack, apparently.
Marietta: This is so awful. I feel so bad that I never kept in touch like I should have.
Danny: It’s all right, people naturally grow apart. And you were very busy.
Marietta: Still. You never think people will be gone so soon, you always think there will be more time. And then, there isn’t.
Danny: You can’t beat yourself up too much. We saw him fairly recently at the reunion. That was only a few years ago.
Marietta: Remember when he thought Tammy was Rosalynn Carter?
Danny: She was so mad.
Marietta: Think of all the good times we had together back in school. I could cry thinking about it. It feels so long ago, but also, like it was only yesterday.
Danny: Only Yesterday, that was one of the songs our band used to sing.
Marietta: Oscar was such a stand-up guy. I don’t know why life has to be so unfair.
Danny: We all know we have a limited time on this earth, and we’ll never know how long that is until it’s time to go.
Marietta: Is there going to be a funeral? Oh, god… did I miss it?
Danny: No, it’s not until Friday. This happened three days ago, they need time to get him back from Italy.
Marietta: My god, I didn’t even think of that. That’s so awful for his wife. It’s like something out of The White Lotus.
Danny: But this is all too real.
Marietta: It doesn’t feel it. It just shouldn’t be.
Danny: I know.
Marietta: Are you going to the funeral?
Danny: Of course. Are you?
Marietta: I’ve got things going on that day, but I’ll make sure to rearrange my plans. I have to go.
Danny: I can text you the details when I get them. Make sure to actually check your phone this time. But if I don’t hear back from you, I’ll do a welfare check.
Marietta: No, I’m expecting a text this time, I’ll be sure to check for it.
Danny: Good. I don’t want to drive all the way to your place.
Marietta: Why, where are you living now?
Danny: Metairie.
Marietta: Ew! Sorry… ew!
Danny: I know it’s not your favorite place -
Marietta: So many Republicans! They never voted for me in any of my runs, they’re despicable.
Danny: Marietta…
Marietta: What?
Danny: Calling a place despicable for not voting for you?
Marietta: They voted for Milton! Not this time, but during one of his first runs! I’m jealous!
Danny: Anyway, I gotta get going, I’m pretty tired. I’ll see you later this week.
Marietta: See ya, Danny.
Two days later…
Henrietta: Marietta, I don’t mean to be rude, but you look terrible.
Amy: Who could ever take that as rudeness?
Henrietta: That’s why I said I don’t mean to be.
Marietta: Anyway, I feel terrible.
Tammy: If you’re sick, stay away from me! I’m going for my flu shot tomorrow, I can’t get sick.
Marietta: I don’t feel that sort of terrible. My heart aches.
Tammy: Is Danny getting married? Is that what he’s calling you about? I think it’s so insensitive to invite the ex to the wedding, it’s like rubbing it in your face.
Marietta: No, it’s not that. It’s so much worse. One off my old high school friends died. I haven’t seen him in years, since our reunion. I feel so awful about it. He was so full of life, and last I saw him, things were finally going his way. He got a big promotion, bought a new house, he was so happy with his wife. Then, just a few years later, gone.
Amy: I’m so sorry to hear that.
Marietta: You know, you guys are the first people I’ve told about it. I’ve just been sort of wallowing.
Amy: That’s understandable.
Henrietta: You’ve been through a lot in the last year. No one could judge you for having a tough time accepting this.
Marietta: It’s not like we were close friends or anything. We were close in high school, and then drifted apart as the years went on. But any time I did see him, it was a blast. This wasn’t supposed to happen. We were supposed to all be around for every reunion, and jump into conversation with one another and feel like no time had passed since the last time we met. That’s never going to happen again. There’s always going to be a missing piece to the puzzle.
Tammy: What happened to him? Do you know?
Marietta: A heart attack. While he was on vacation, no less.
Amy: That’s terrible.
Tammy: And here I thought it was bad that Martin nearly causes me to have a heart attack whenever we go on vacation.
Amy: I’m not sure that this is a joking matter.
Marietta: Hey, lighthearted banter is fine by me. I need it right about now. I’m feeling really down.
Tammy: In that case, do you want to hear about how I thought I recorded 60 Mi-
Marietta: No.
Tammy: It’s a great story.
Henrietta: It’s not.
Marietta: You know, Tammy, Oscar’s the one that thought you were Rosalynn Carter.
Tammy: I’ll hold my thoughts in out of respect at this troubling time.
Marietta: It’s fine, you can let them out.
Tammy: Was he blind? Or just pulling my leg? I look nothing like Rosalynn Carter! My husband was a two-termer! I’m the most important first lady of all time!
Amy: God, you sound like a Karen.
Henrietta: Sound like?
Tammy: No need to be judgmental.
Marietta: Ladies, could you help me rearrange my schedule for Friday? I have to go to the funeral. I hope it’s not too much trouble.
Tammy: It’s not. Don’t even worry about it, we’ll do all the rearranging on our own. You just relax and feel whatever feelings you want to feel. Nothing on the docket this week is all that important.
Marietta: No, I have to keep working. I have to keep my mind busy, I don’t want to dwell on it. Just clear the schedule for Friday.
Tammy: Will do!
Four days later, Marietta arrives at Oscar’s funeral and is greeted by Danny and their friends Martha, Nadine, and Paul.
Danny: Marietta, I’m so glad you made it. You never know with you.
Nadine: You look wonderful. I’m always so proud of all you’ve accomplished. Whenever you’re in the news, I point at the TV and tell my husband “I knew her when.”
Martha: I wanted to vote for you, but then, you know…
Paul: I was so sorry to hear about your father. He was such a lovely guy.
Marietta: He was the best.
Nadine: Remember when we wanted to go to that Fleetwood Mac concert and he took all of us?
Marietta: That was during the cocaine era, too! Not the most family friendly show, but he took us anyway! He knew it would bring us joy.
Martha: And that it would shut us up.
Danny: Remember how happy Oscar was when he grabbed the scarf Stevie Nicks threw into the audience?
Martha: I wanted that damn thing.
Nadine: Maybe he left it to you in the will.
Martha: You think he left us anything in the will?
Nadine: I don’t know, I’m just trying to lighten the mood.
Marietta: Can you believe he’s really gone?
Nadine: See, that’s not lightening the mood.
Marietta: I’m sorry. We are at a funeral, though.
Nadine: I know, you think I’d be wearing this awful dress and these black heels if we weren’t?
Martha: How old is that dress?
Nadine: It’s my funeral dress, I’ll wear it until I can’t! And, to answer your question, Julia Child was still alive when I bought it.
Marietta: Who could’ve imagined that the last time we performed together in our band at that reunion, it would be our last?
Paul: I honestly would’ve bet good money on it. We weren’t terribly good.
Marietta: Right, we were great!
Danny: We had fun.
Nadine: I wish we would’ve kept having fun. We should have stayed in touch.
Marietta: We’re going to this time. I mean it. At least once a year we have to get back together. Have dinner have drinks you can even just come to my place. Whatever we want but we have to stay in touch. I don’t want this to happen again. I feel so much regret.
Martha: So do I.
Paul: Sounds like a plan to me. It’s a good way to honor him.
Martha: I guess we should get in there. Don’t want to miss it.
Marietta: Yeah, I brought flowers, I want to make sure I get them to his wife.
Danny: Don’t harass her. She’s going through enough.
Marietta: They’re beautiful flowers.
Danny: Oh, I’m sure.
The next night…
Patty Lynn: Honey, how was your funeral?
Kathleen: How would she know? She’s still alive!
Patty Lynn: I meant for her friend!
Sarah: In fairness to Aunt Kathleen, “how was your funeral” is objectively an insane thing to say.
Patty Lynn: Look, I’m just trying to comfort my daughter in a moment of great distress.
Sarah: I know.
Marietta: It was a lovely service. I think that’s what you’re getting at.
Patty Lynn: Yes. At least someone’s still got a darn brain!
Marietta: I feel so bad for his family. But I was very happy to see so many people show up to pay tribute to him. He certainly deserved that sendoff. I just wish it weren’t for another twenty, thirty years.
Patty Lynn: But how lucky was he to have people that cared so much for him!
Marietta: I wish I’d let him know. We went far too long without seeing one another.
Kathleen: Hey, if it’s any comfort, I’d prefer it if some people I know went years without talking to me. I know you love me, no need for you to bug me to prove it.
Marietta: What a heartwarming sentiment.
Kathleen: It’s what I’m best known for.
What did you think of this episode of Marietta? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
