The family is sitting at the dinner table.
Tammi: Are you guys excited for your trip tomorrow?
Betty: Oh, it’s barely even a trip. Forty-eight hours in DC, and not even the entire family is going! It’s an excursion, really.
Teri: Almost the whole family is going. Everyone but Velma and Tammi.
Tammi: I’m sorry I couldn’t get off work!
Velma: And I didn’t want to take off work, not while they’re paying time and a half!
Teri: You are the cheapest person I have ever met!
Velma: I’m aware! I take pride in it!
Danielle: You shouldn’t.
Velma: I’m saving up for my retirement! You never know when you’ll have to stop working.
Teri: We all know you will work until the day you die.
Ralph: You can’t take it with you, you know.
Velma: I’ll find a way.
Steven: What are we going to DC for, anyway?
Tammi: I took you out of school and you don’t even know why?
Karl: Your grandmother is getting an award from an organization celebrating small businesses.
Betty: I’m gonna get to meet Queen Latifah!
Tammi: Queen Latifah?
Danielle: I wanna meet Queen Latifah. The Equalizer kicks some serious ass!
Betty: You can meet Queen Latifah if you’d like.
Danielle: Bless you!
Ralph: Isn’t Denzel Washington The Equalizer?
Teri: There’s two, for some reason. They’re unrelated. I don’t know why.
Steven: What is The Equalizer?
Teri: A show for the elderly. Also a movie for the elderly.
Mitchell: I prefer Tracker.
Velma: No one cares.
Tammi: So, what time are you all leaving tomorrow?
Betty: Early! It’s not that long of a drive, if we get there early enough, we’ll have time to explore a bit.
Mitchell: It better not involve any walking!
Betty: You can stay in the car if you want to.
Mitchell: That works for me.
Tammi: Well, I hope you all enjoy your trip. Take lots of pictures for me.
Danielle: As if you need to tell Teri to take pictures.
Teri: I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean.
Betty: Remember that time we went to that flower show and we had to wait two hours after the rest of us were all done for you to finally be through with taking pictures of every flower?
Teri: I haven’t done anything like that since.
Karl: Honey, you are entitled to your own opinions, but not your own facts.
The next morning…
Tammi: Velma!
Velma: What?
Tammi: Ah, good, you’re alive. I was scared you froze to death.
Velma: Why is it so cold?
Tammi: I don’t know, why can’t I turn the lights on?
Velma: Something is wrong.
Tammi: You think?
Velma: What do we do?
Tammi: Get under some blankets and hope it fixes itself?
Velma: That’s not gonna help. I tried that an hour ago when I originally got up.
Tammi: Can we at least sleep in until the sun is fully up? I can barely see in here.
Velma: You don’t have a flashlight?
Tammi: I do, I’m just trying to find an excuse not to take on the day just yet.
Velma: Well, it’s not like we’ll we getting any work done today. Just go back to sleep. I guess I can try and get some more, too.
One hour later…
Velma: Tammi…
Tammi: Just five more minutes.
Velma: Tammi.
Tammi: I said five more minutes.
Velma: Tammi!
Tammi: What?
Velma: I think I’m getting frostbite.
Tammi: Frostbite? It’s not that cold!
Velma: It’s pretty cold. I definitely chipped a tooth from chattering my teeth,.
Tammi: Throw another few blankets over you.
Velma: We have to fix this.
Tammi: We need to get somewhere warm. Starbucks?
Velma: That costs too much.
Tammi: Oh my god, you have to be kidding!
Velma: We could always go knock on Lianne’s door. We can heat up a bit while we call someone to fix the power.
Tammi: Have we considered checking the circuit breaker ourselves?
Velma: I’m not sure how you do that, and I’m too cold for any critical thinking.
Tammi: All right, we’ll throw something on and go inconvenience the neighbor so we can warm up.
Velma: Do you have a light so you can see to change?
Tammi: You know, I usually prefer to not see myself when I change. I’d rather not be able to see any imperfections that I have to worry about.
Velma: yeah, I think the power being down is a bigger concern right now than stretch marks.
Tammi: Who said anything about stretch marks? Do you see any?
Velma: You’re currently under about sixteen blankets, how could I possibly see any?
Tammi: Good point.
Fifteen minutes later, in Lianne’s driveway…
Tammi: God, it feels amazing in this car. I really don’t want to get out of it at all.
Velma: Yeah, well… it’s mine, and running it costs money. So let’s get out.
Tammi: What a buzzkill.
Velma: If you want to buy me gas, be my guest.
Tammi: Pass.
Velma: That’s what I thought.
Tammy: My lord, is it ever cold out!
Velma: The power could not have possibly chosen a worse time to go one the fritz. What is it out here, ten degrees?
Tammi: With the wind chill, it has to be below zero, or close to it.
Velma: Can I be honest with you?
Tammi: Of course.
Velma: It doesn’t really look like Lianne is home.
Tammi: She better be home!
Velma: The lights are off, her car is not here, when’s the last time you’ve seen her?
Tammi: Oh, damn! I think Ralph did say she was sponsoring grandma’s award.
Velma: Ah, great. That trip is screwing us over in ways I could’ve never imagined.
Tammi: Yeah, anyone that might know how to fix it is two hours away!
Velma: Your son is dating Anita’s daughter.
Tammi: Don’t even. I know where you’re going with this, I’m telling you not to go there!
Velma: Anita is home!
Tammi: How I wish she weren’t!
Velma: She’s not purely evil, she’d provide us a warm refuge.
Tammi: I’d rather just go to Starbucks. Or a homeless shelter.
Velma: Come on!
Tammi: Fine…
Velma: Good, because we need a warn, free place to stay.
Tammi: Your cheapness is going to cause me to have to spend time with Anita, and I’ll never forgive you for it!
Velma: You will eventually, once you realized she helped save you from hypothermia.
Tammi: She better not ask about grandma, I’m so tired of being put in the middle of those two absolute drama queens.
Fifteen minutes later, they knock on Anita’s door.
Anita: What in the world is this? You both look a mess! And why are you here at eight in the morning?
Velma: Anita, hello, good morning, hope you are well. Our power went out and the heat isn’t working because of it. I know we’re not the closest, but we just need a bit of help, a small show of kindness.
Anita: And you thought I was your best bet to be shown kindness?
Velma: Well… few other options presented themselves.
Anita: Well, I’m not heartless. Come on in.
Tammi: Thank you, Anita. We really appreciate it.
Anita: You look like you both dressed yourselves in a cave. Go ahead and comb your hair and fix your outfits. I’ll make you some coffee and breakfast.
Tammi: Wow, that’s… actually nice by your standards.
Anita: I’m a very kind person.
Tammi: Sure.
Velma: After breakfast, we’ll have to call our family and let them know what’s going on. Then, we’ll have to find someone to fix this.
Anita: I’d send Rich over to fix it, but, well…
Tammi: Oh, we don’t have to talk about him.
Velma: Screw him, I say!
Anita: His co-worker took you up on that advice.
Tammi: I don’t think that’s information we need to know, that should be personal.
Alysa: Ah, you get used to hearing it once you’re here long enough.
Tammi: I pray to the lord above that I will not be.
Meanwhile, in DC…
Teri: Mom, back away from the fence.
Betty: What do you mean?
Ralph: You’re standing next to the fence, sticking your arm through it, giving the middle finger to the White House.
Betty: It’s America, I have free speech.
Jerry: You’re embarrassing yourself.
Betty: You embarrassed yourself by voting for this man!
Jerry: Oh my god…
Cindy: Whose idea was it to visit the White House, anyway?
Karl: Your mother’s.
Cindy: And we went along with it because…?
Karl: It’s her special day.
Betty: That it is!
Steven: Can we go somewhere not boring next?
Betty: We’re going to the Smithsonian next! American Art Museum!
Steven: I said not boring!
Danielle: I love a good museum.
Steven: I wish I went to school today, at least I didn’t have to drive two hours to get to that.
Frank: Come on, we’re having fun, aren’t we?
Steven: Sure.
Jerry’s phone starts to ring.
Betty: Ignore it! We have a schedule to keep!
Teri: Since when?
Jerry: It’s from Tammi, I have to answer.
Frank: I was wondering when she was going to get in contact. She always texts me in the morning whenever we’re apart.
Teri: How quaint. No one asked.
Betty: I have my event to get to tonight, and I wanted to see several museums before we need to get there. It was all int he itinerary I passed out.
Cindy: We threw all of those out at McDonald’s.
Betty: Why?
Cindy: Well, most of us used them as place mats. Those tables were pretty dirty. And then the hash browns are so greasy, it bled right through…
Jerry answers his phone.
Jerry: What’s up, kid?
Tammi: Not the thermostat.
Jerry: Excuse me?
Tammi: The power is off!
Jerry: The power? It was fine when we left.
Tammi: Well, it isn’t now.
Jerry: Did you check the circuit breaker?
Tammi: We need someone to walk us through that.
Jerry: Okay, walk out to the garage.
Tammi: Oh, no. We’re not home.
Jerry: Where are you?
Cindy: What’s going on?
Betty: Can we at least start walking to the car while you talk?
Jerry: The power is out!
Frank: Oh… boy.
Jerry: What?
Frank: I sort of plugged in a few dozen rechargeable batteries to charge while we were out. Maybe it tripped the circuit?
Jerry: First of all, you’re an idiot. Second, I really doubt that was it.
Teri: I would love to blame Frank, though. I’m going with his theory.
Frank: Thanks you? I think.
Cindy: That was certainly not the proper response to what she said.
Tammi: Dad! Still here!
Jerry: Sorry, Tammi. The family is… well, you’ve me them.
Tammi: Sadly.
Velma: We are at Anita’s! Please help us, she is giving us the details of her divorce!
Alysa: We’re having fun!
Jerry: Wait a second… Velma, you’re married to an electrician!
Velma: Not to my knowledge.
Jerry: You are to mine. Why didn’t you call him?
Velma: Listen, I’m getting forty-eight hours away from him, don’t ruin it for me.
Jerry: Come on, we all know you don’t actually hate Mitchell.
Velma: His thirty days away for Survivor was the greatest month of my life.
Jerry: He knows more about this than me, I’m giving him the phone.
Velma: Don’t you dare!
Alysa: Bye, Mr. Delacroix!
Jerry: Bye, Alysa!
Mitchell: So what’s with the power?
Velma: It’s out!
Mitchell: What do you mean it’s “out?””
Velma: Caput! Broken! Out of service! Working as well as a McDonald’s ice cream machine!
Mitchell: And you didn’t try to fix it?
Velma: Is that a thing you’ve ever known me to have experience doing?
Mitchell: No, but you could try.
Velma: It’s ten degrees out. You should feel lucky I’m even alive!
Mitchell: We’ll be back tomorrow, you can just w-
Velma: No! We are not inconveniencing Anita by staying here.
Anita: It’s not inconvenient!
Velma: She’s been put out enough just letting us in to warm up.
Anita: Really, it’s not -
Alysa: Mom, don’t be needy.
Tammi: Do you know anyone that you could call to fix it?
Mitchell: No one who’ll do it for free.
Tammi: Is that your first though? You two are made for each other.
Velma: You take that back!
Karl: I know someone!
Tammi: Finally, an adult.
Karl: Give me the phone, please.
Mitchell: With pleasure.
Velma: Stay gone! Move to DC!
Mitchell: Love you, too.
Karl: I used to work with a guy whose brother was a local electrician. If I call him up, I’m sure his brother can swing by this afternoon and get it all running for you two. Hopefully, before the pipes freeze;
Velma: Thank you, Karl.
Karl: It’s no problem. Just a few minutes on the phone and it’ll all be well on its way to being fixed for you. The least I could do!
Tammi: Well, two people before you did far less.
Betty: Karl, would you stop yapping and pick up your feet? We have to go!
Karl: The house is an icebox, Betty! I need to get this straightened out!
Betty: Don’t take too long! The longer you talk, the less we get to see!
Tammi: Glad to hear your concern for us, grandma!
Betty: You’ll live!
Later that night…
Tammi: Wow, a house with working electric and no yapping Anita. Never thought I’d see that ever again.
Velma: Thank god Karl called in help for us, we would’ve never been able to figure out that the fuse box was outdated and broke down.
Tammi: I barely even know what a fuse box is.
Velma: I’m gonna go celebrate our new fuse box with some microwaved dinner. You want some?
Tammi: Sounds good to me!
What did you think of this episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!