Frances is having dinner with Lauren when she gets a call from Beverly.
Frances: Lauren, I’ll just be a minute.
Lauren: It’s fine, we were just talking about nonsense anyway. No biggie.
Frances: You’re always so understanding.
Lauren: Look, when you have someone willing to make you a home-cooked meal every night after work, you don’t get mad when they have to take a phone call.
Frances: Thank you. You clearly didn’t get that from your mother.
Lauren: Hey, she’s not here to defend herself. You’re not wrong, but still. Takes all the fun out of it.
Frances picks up the phone.
Beverly: Frances! Finally!
Frances: Finally? This is the first call I’ve gotten from you! I don’t know why you’re acting like I’ve been ignoring you.
Beverly: I’ve called your house phone probably ten times and it keeps going straight to voicemail.
Frances: Well, I may have kinda unplugged my home phone.
Beverly: Frances, Dana wants an answer.
Frances: An answer? About what?
Beverly: Don’t play dumb.
Frances: I don’t know what you’re referring to!
Beverly: Are you leaving or not?
Frances: Leaving? Why would I leave? I don’t know what you’re even talking about, don’t talk crazy.
Beverly: I’m being serious. I need you to be, too.
Frances: Bev, I have no idea what I’m doing. I have so many conflicting feelings. I’m a loyal person, but I’d also love a fresh start. Money’s not the biggest issue here, it’s about how I want my life to move forward.
Beverly: So you’re trying to tell me you’re having this hard of a time deciding whether or not you want to work with us anymore?
Frances: I’ve gone through a lot in my life lately. The opportunity for a bit of a reset and a chance to focus on a new adventure is very appealing. It’s my love for all the people I work with now, especially you and Marcia, that makes it so difficult.
Beverly: I can’t believe you left poor Jane out!
Frances: Well, Jane’s my assistant. I assumed she’d come with me.
Beverly: Jane says she’s staying.
Frances: Well, how’s that gonna work?
Beverly: She hasn’t quite figured out that the show would also end if you leave.
Frances: That sounds like Jane.
Beverly: You do have to make a decision, honey.
Frances: I need more time.
Beverly: Dana’s not just going to wait around forever, and I’m sure Paul McVann won’t, either.
Frances: This is a life-changing decision, for so many people. I don’t want to make the wrong one.
Beverly: I get it. I just don’t want you wait so long that you lose everything.
Frances: You think that could happen?
Beverly: I think if you waited as long as you wish you could, you might die of old age first.
Frances: Such a nice way to put it.
Beverly: Just please, for my own sanity, decide and call Dana. I can’t take her calling me about it anymore.
Frances: By the time I come in to work tomorrow, I will have decided. I’ll stop by to tell all of you in person first, and then Dana.
Beverly: All right. That’s progress! I like that!
Frances: I’m not so sure I do.
Beverly: I’ll give you time to think and I’ll see you tomorrow.
Frances: See you tomorrow!
Beverly: See you then!
Frances hangs up.
Lauren: So, I take it you’ve got to make a decision on whether you’re staying with TBC or if you’re doing that new show?
Frances: That’s what they think.
Lauren: Excuse me?
Frances: I can’t be forced to make a decision if I’m not here!
Lauren: I’m lost.
Frances: Pack your things, we’re going to Hawaii!
Lauren: I’ve always wanted to go back to Hawaii.
Frances: And I’m about to make your dreams come true!
Lauren: I have questions.
Frances: Yeah, you can finish your dinner. The flight won’t leave until later tonight anyway!
Lauren: This feels like you’re just trying to escape reality.
Frances: No, that’s exactly what it is. I don’t like reality, and I’m g getting away from it.
Lauren: It’s not exactly professional, is it?
Frances: It’s something that must be done. I need time, and I need top think, and what better place to spend time thinking than the beaches of Hawaii?
Lauren: How long do you plan to escape for?
Frances: Just a few days. We’re gonna take your parents along, too. I don’t need them worrying about us.
Lauren: I don’t think mom would worry about you too much.
Frances: Well, that’s hurtful, but I’m still taking her. We’ll have a fun family trip while I ponder my future. Just a tiny little decision, no biggie.
Lauren: I have a job, too. So do my parents.
Frances: You get time off!
Lauren: All right, fine. Hawaii it is. But you can’t drag this out too long. I know you’re stressed, but it’s important to make a decision. You owe it to everyone, especially your cast and crew.
Frances: You sound like Beverly now.
Lauren: I’m just trying to consider everyone this little escape will impact. You’ll be skipping out on several filming days without notice, and then you might tell those people they’ll be out a job entirely. Or this stunt could get you fired, and then you don’t have a decision to make at all.
Frances: You’re giving me a headache. Don’t you know to just accept when someone kindly offers you a trip to an exotic island?
Lauren: Did you listen to anything I said?
Frances: I’m too busy panicking, dear. Now, enjoy your dinner, then pack. I’m going to talk to your parents, and maybe kidnap them if they react similarly to you, and we’re getting on a plan top Hawaii.
Lauren: I’m coming with you!
At Jimmy and Louise’s house…
Louise: Jimmy, your sister’s here for some reason!
Jimmy: I’m coming!
Frances: Lovely to see you, Louise.
Louise: Sure.
Lauren: Wait until you guys hear -
Jimmy: So, what’s up?
Frances: We’re going to Hawaii.
Jimmy: Excuse me?
Louise: When are we going, exactly?
Frances: The next flight I can book out of LAX. Sometime tonight.
Louise: All right, I’ll go pack!
Jimmy: How’d this come about?
Louise: The woman’s taking us to Hawaii, don’t ask questions about why. Just get ready.
Lauren: I think you should really know why she’s springing this on us now!
Louise: Don’t care, I have to go find my sunhat.
Jimmy: Can you take sunscreen in your luggage anymore or no?
Louise: I think so! Should I take my bikini?
Frances: No!
The next day…
Marcia: Bev, I’m concerned.
Beverly: What about?
Marcia: Frances isn’t here.
Beverly: It’s an emotional day for her, she’s making her big decision on whether she’s staying on the network or leaving. Give her time.
Marcia: Jane is here before her. Frances might be dead somewhere. Stress is bad on the heart, especially at her age!
Beverly: You’re the same age. I’m older.
Marcia: Precisely
Jane: Where’s Frances? I got her favorite coffee order because I want her to stay so bad! I don’t know what we’d do without her!
Marcia: Walk straight into the unemployment line?
Jane: Huh?
Marcia: Do you think there’s a show here without Frances? It’s called Frances in the Kitchen.
Jane: I’m sure they could find a new Frances, and it would be strange and take some getting used to, but we’d manage.
Marcia: Oh my lord.
Beverly: Actually, I’m gonna keep that in mind in case Frances greets us with bad news.
DeAnna: Ladies! It truly horrifies me to have to ever stop by this set, but I have a question for you all: do you know where Frances is?
Beverly: You’re not allowed near her before she announces her decision. Seeing you might push her towards quitting, and contrary to our outwardly understanding comments to her, we really would like to still have jobs at the end of this summer.
DeAnna: Lauren isn’t here, either.
Marcia: Oh, god! A murder-suicide!
Jane: Frances is dead?
Marcia: Maybe! There’s a reason neither of them is here!
Beverly: It could just be a minor incident at home that has left them both running late.
DeAnna: I don’t accept tardiness.
Beverly: I’m gonna call her and clear this all up.
Dana: Beverly! I was told Frances was topping by my office today!
Beverly: I know, I’m the one who told you that.
Dana: She hasn’t stopped by! In fact, I don’t even see her car here.
Jane: She’s missing.
Dana: Dear god. Tell her if she doesn’t respond to my offer by end of business today, the offer’s rescinded!
DeAnna: Why give her that long? I say give her until the end of the hour!
Beverly: It’s 8:52.
DeAnna: Gives her plenty of time to get here.
Dana: End of day. I mean it.
Beverly: I think she’s just hit traffic or something. I’ll call her to check in on her.
Dana: That’s on her. I’m getting tired of waiting, and I gave her a very fair deal. If she wants it to be a bit higher, this isn’t the way to achieve that.
Meanwhile, in Hawaii…
Louise: God, what an incredible idea this was. It’s so nice that I don’t even care what prompted it or why we had to flee in the middle of the night like refugees.
Jimmy: Refugee always was Frances’s favorite Tom Petty song.
Frances: It was. Love Tom, saw him three times in concert in the 80s.
Lauren: You guys did hear me when I said she escaped to Hawaii with us to avoid deciding on whether or not to leave TBC? She literally fled the state rather than face making a hard decision.
Louise: Like I said, I’m really fine with any chain of events that led to me being right here, right now.
Jimmy: I think you said that while I was napping on the plane. I didn’t hear it, and I’m worried.
Frances: There you go, Lauren, ruining our peaceful vacation.
Lauren: You can’t escape your responsibilities! I can’t be the only one that thinks that!
Frances: I needed the salty, seaside air to help me decide.
Lauren: We live in Santa Barbara!
Frances: The Hawaiian air. It’s a magical thing.
Lauren: I think you’re just scared about deciding between moving on and staying with what’s safe.
Jimmy: I agree with Lauren.
Louise: I continue to not care.
Frances: I can’t believe you’re harping on this when. I’m trying to enjoy the beach!
Lauren: We’re both supposed to be at work right now, not at the beach.
Frances: But I needed a mental health break, so we’re here. Now, let me have that break so I can think and make a decision. The faster I decide what I’m doing, the faster we go home.
Louise: Take your time then!
A bit later that day, back at the set…
Marcia: She’s dead.
DeAnna: Lauren’s not answering my calls either, and I think it would be a coincidence for them to both be dead. Wait… I was calling the wrong Lauren.
Beverly: Shocker.
Marcia: Jane, I think you and DeAnna would make a great match in the event that our current gig ends.
DeAnna: I don’t need an imbecile working for me.
Marcia: Of course, you more than exceed the idiot quota on your own.
Jane: I’m not an idiot!
Marcia: Honey, you think pineapples are a type of apple.
Jane: The name is confusing!
Beverly: I just got a text from Jimmy.
DeAnna: Who is “Jimmy?”
Beverly: Frances’s brother. They’re… in Hawaii.
Marcia: What?
Jane: Did she think we were doing another on-location episode?
Marcia: Why would she go to Hawaii and not take me?
Beverly: He says that Frances needed to get away somewhere peaceful to think about her offers and that they’ll be back in a few days.
Marcia: That’s slightly after end of business today.
DeAnna: Looks like it’s kaput for you guys! Good luck in your next ventures, I’ll be taking your studio. It’s larger than mine, for some reason.
Jane: Why would Frances abandon us?
Beverly: She didn’t’ abandon us. I think she was just feeling conflicted and this is her way of giving herself more time.
Marcia: What are we going to do about the show today, then?
Beverly: Marcia in the Kitchen it is!
Marcia: I like the sound of that. It almost makes up for my impending unemployment.
The next day, in Hawaii…
Frances: Jimmy, I need advice.
Jimmy: Finally, she wants to have a serious talk!
Frances: Pina colada or pineapple margarita?
Jimmy: Jesus, Frances.
Frances: I kid! I need work advice.
Louise: Don’t bring me into this. Mama’s getting drunk tonight!
Lauren: As you did last night.
Frances: Jimmy, I did a lot of thinking today.
Jimmy: That’s good.
Frances: I think I need to move on from TBC and start anew, but I don’t know how to break the news to my friends.
Louise: Does this mean we have to leave Hawaii now?
What did you think of the midseason premiere of Frances in the Kitchen? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week
