SETTING: Bullpen of the Bridgeport Zebras.
VAL
PEANUTS HERE! GET YOUR PEANUTS HERE!
KRISTIN
Val...you don't have any peanuts.
MARISSA
I think she's losing it.
TRISH
Losing it? I think she's already lost it.
VAL
PEANUTS HERE! GET YOUR PEANUTS HERE!
ELENA
Val, please kindly shut the hell up.
TRISH
Working on your tone there, coach?
ELENA
That I am!
VAL
PEANUTS HERE! GET YOUR PEANUTS HERE! Come on everyone!
CAROLYN shrugs, then joins in.
VAL and CAROLYN
PEANUTS HERE! GET YOUR PEANUTS HERE!
ELENA
ENOUGH!!!!!!
VAL and CAROLYN stop.
TRISH
Weren't we weren't on our tone, coach?
ELENA
And look where that got us. Val, do you need to get checked out?
VAL
Will it get me out of this game?
ELENA
You're not pitching today anyway so...
KATIE
PEANUTS HERE! GET-
ELENA
Don't even think about it. Look, I know none of us want to be here right now, but-
CAROLYN
I want to be here!
ELENA
As I was saying, I know none of us want to be here right now, but-
CAROLYN
Coach, again, I want to be here.
ELENA
The rest of us don't, most people don't want to sit in a bullpen at 8 am on Easter Sunday.
MARISSA
Yeah why are we doing this again?
ELENA
The league had this GREAT idea of scheduling games the morning of Easter Sunday. Guess they decided people would watch them then. Either that, or nobody wanted to air us at night.
VAL
Yeah so this is dumb and I'm just gonna keep pretending like I'm a concession girl throwing out peanuts again. If you don't mind.
ELENA
Oh, I mind.
VAL
PEANUTS HERE! GET YOUR PEANUTS HERE!
VAL gets hit in the face with a bag of peanuts from a fan.
FAN [from stands]
HEY, MAYBE THAT'LL SHUT YOU UP!
KATIE
Oooh Val, he's mad at you!
VAL
No worries, I'll just throw them right back at him.
VAL takes the bag of peanuts and throws them back at the fan. However, the throw is slightly wide and the bag hits his toddler instead. The toddler starts crying, causing the FAN to pick up his toddler and walk down the stands to as close as he can get to the bullpen.
FAN
WHO THREW THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
ELENA
That would be Val!
VAL
Way to rat me out.
The FAN holds up the bag of peanuts for VAL to see.
FAN
I'd just like to say, thanks for giving these back to me. They're not cheap you know.
VAL
Oh. Why, you're welcome.
FAN
Yeah. Now I can throw them at you twice!
The FAN throws the bag of peanuts at VAL as hard as he can. MARISSA jumps in and snatches the bag before it can hit VAL.
FAN
Wow. You're a good catcher for a woman.
MARISSA
Excuse me?!
ELENA
Let it go.
FAN
And uh...Val is it?
VAL
Uh huh.
FAN
You throw well for a woman too. I have to admit.
VAL
Yup. Alright, enjoy the game.
VAL turns around to the bullpen.
VAL
Can we all agree to maybe not let sexist fans so close to the bullpen?
TRISH jolts awake.
TRISH
Huh?
VAL
Sorry to wake you from your nap. I'm going home.