Everyone is inside the Indianapolis Primitives’ indoor bullpen.
LORENZO
TEAM MEETING!!!!!!!!
BRYAN
You don’t have to yell, we’re all right here.
LORENZO
Guys, this is serious. Management called me. I got some bad news.
VICTOR
Come on, it can’t possibly be worse news than a bullpen game.
FELIX
It’s probably another bullpen game.
LORENZO
Don’t worry guys, it’s not another bullpen game. It’s about that, though. We’re in trouble.
DAVE
Who’s we?
LORENZO
Well, me. I might be on the chopping block. They’re mad about the bullpen game.
DEVIN
Told ya.
LORENZO
I know, but it’s not my fault!
CARTER
You have three good pitchers, you could’ve just had me, Felix, and Dave pitch three innings each and we would’ve been fine.
DAVE
Or me pitch nine innings and—
HARRY
Dave, shut up.
LORENZO
Maybe coaching just isn’t my thing.
FELIX
You think?
LORENZO
Today’s the last game of the regular season. We gotta be on our A-game today so we don’t lose our jobs.
ROBERT
I thought you said you were the one on the chopping block? Lorenzo what’s going on?
LORENZO
Fine, it’s all of us. Turns out, we’re getting too expensive for what we do.
ACE
How is that even possible, the whole point of us is so they can focus on their other players. They pay us practically nothing!
LORENZO
But there are other pitchers who are better than you who are also willing to pitch for practically nothing.
ROBERT
There’s absolutely no way.
LORENZO
I’m just relaying what they told me.
DEVIN
This is crazy. We’re really getting pushed out because they’re finding good pitchers who will pitch for cheap?
FELIX
Hey, can’t blame them honestly.
LORENZO
We need to figure out a plan to convince them we should stay.
DAVE
I’d start with coaching halfway decently. And pitching well.
LORENZO
That’s not funny, I need serious answers.
DAVE
That was a serious answer.
LORENZO
Stop with the sarcasm! Anyone else have a plan?
MANNY
Lorenzo, as former bullpen coach…he’s right.
HARRY
Why don’t you do something with cotton candy, that’s always a classic?
LORENZO
I don’t have any cotton candy.
HARRY
Then go get some!
LORENZO
I know! I’ll go back to my roots and run across the field mid-game to get cotton candy. The crowd loved it when I did it last time. What do you guys think?
ROBERT
It’s a more feasible plan than pitching good.
LORENZO
So you like it!
ROBERT
I never said that.
BRYAN
You better hurry up if you’re gonna do that, it’s already the eighth inning you know.
LORENZO bolts out of the bullpen and onto the field. He is quickly caught by security and brought back to the bullpen.
ROBERT
Where’s the cotton candy?
LORENZO
Got caught by security. Also, they’re in between innings now so it was pretty anticlimactic. Zero crowd reaction. We need a plan for the playoffs.
DEVIN
Never mind the playoffs, we’re the underdog in the wild card game. Team’s not doing so hot this year.
DAVE
Yeah you guys are so done.
CARTER
Hey, maybe something unexpected will happen and they’ll get to stay. But for now, I’m leaving. Game’s basically over anyways.
CARTER leaves, prompting everyone else to follow.