The Bullpen Season 7 Episode 7: Wild Card Game 1

Everyone is sitting in the indoor bullpen, watching the game on TV. The Primitives are playing their first Wild Card game in a best-of-3 series.

BRYAN

Playoffs are my favorite games. Nice and relaxing. 


DAVE

Nice and relaxing? The stakes are literally never higher than they are in the playoffs. 


BRYAN

Not for me. I get to sit back and watch a game I know for a fact I won’t be pitching in. 


DAVE

Fair enough. And thank God. 


ROBERT

Also it’s nice to get to watch high quality coverage on TV this year. They don’t do it like this on the local stations. 


MANNY

Yeah, the regional station coverage has been getting worse by the year. Can’t blame them with all the budget cuts. 


VICTOR

Lorenzo, aren’t we supposed to be doing something to save our jobs today?


LORENZO

Nah. That ship has sailed. Just enjoy the game in this bullpen while you can. And goes for everyone. 


FELIX

I bet I’ll pitch today. 


ACE

No way, have you seen this pitcher? He’s like the biggest star we have! I know our pitching has slipped a bit, but not him. 


Everyone sits back and watches the start of the game. Immediately, their pitcher gives up a hit. 


LORENZO

He must be a little rough. 


HARRY

I think rusty is the word you’re looking for. Hasn’t pitched in over a week. Maybe. 


The Primitives’ pitcher gives up a second hit, this time a double. 


CARTER

Uh oh. I better start warming up. I bet they want me warming up. 


LORENZO

Nonsense, if they wanted that, the bullpen phone would be ringing! Just sit here, relax, and enjoy the game. 


The Primitives’ pitcher gives up a home run, making the score 3-0. The bullpen notices JASON walking up to the mound to pull the pitcher from the game. 


VICTOR

Damn, pulling the poor guy already. Surprised they didn’t have the next guy come and warm up first, but I guess that’s just what happens when you’re naturally good. 


The bullpen continues to look at the TV, noticing that nobody is walking up to the mound. 


HARRY

Where’s the next dude?


FELIX

Lorenzo, please tell me you didn’t do something dumb with the phone. 


DAVE runs over to the bullpen phone. 


DAVE

It’s…on silent. Lorenzo, how the HELL do you put the bullpen phone on silent?! I didn’t even know that was a thing!


LORENZO

Oh. Right. Forgot I did that. Whoops. 


FELIX

Alright, someone’s gotta go in the game. Quick…rock paper scissors?


FELIX, DAVE, and CARTER partake in a game of rock, paper, scissors. They constantly tie. 


ACE

That’s it, I’m going in. 


ACE runs out of the indoor bullpen and to the mound. Realizing there is no ball on the mound, the home plate umpire throws one to him. It hits him in the stomach,. JASON walks up to the mound. 


JASON

You okay?


ACE

Yeah I’m fine. 


JASON

No you’re not.


JASON takes the ball from ACE, who starts to jog back to the bullpen. Not noticing DAVE jogging to the mound, the two collide and fall to the ground. After a few seconds, they get back up. 


ACE

They didn’t want me in the game. 


DAVE

And I sure as hell won’t be going in anymore either! Thanks a lot. 


ACE and DAVE both return to the bullpen. 


LORENZO

Good inning guys!


DAVE

You dimwit, it hasn’t started yet! We still need someone to pitch! This is getting embarrassing!


HARRY

Getting?


DEVIN

Alright, somebody needs to go in and it sure as hell won’t be me. I just pitched a week ago.


DAVE

Wow, only a whole week ago! Your arm must be killing you!


DEVIN

On and off. 


DAVE rolls his eyes. 


MANNY

Felix? Carter? Can’t one of you go in?


CARTER

No can do, we lost rock paper scissors so it wouldn’t be fair. 


BRYAN

I got the kid at home so…


MANNY

What’s that got to do with anything?


BRYAN

My kid’s probably watching this on TV, I don’t want her to see me embarrass myself on the mound. 


ROBERT

Guess that leaves me. Wish me luck, guys.


ROBERT leaves the bullpen and runs out to the mound. He fails to throw a single strike before JASON walks up to the mound. 


JASON

Robert, my old bullpen pal, how are you doing?


ROBERT

Well I can’t throw a strike so…the usual.


JASON

I’ll tell you a secret: the second our starter got shelled, I figured we just screw it for this game. Hope to come back in the next two, you know? 


JASON calls for the home plate umpire to come to the mound.


HOME PLATE UMPIRE

What’s going on guys?


JASON

We’re forfeiting.


HOME PLATE UMPIRE

The Primitives are forfeiting a playoff game, eh? How the mighty have fallen.


JASON returns back to the dugout and ROBERT returns to the bullpen.


LORENZO

We’ll get ‘em next time. 


ROBERT

I know you don’t believe that.


LORENZO

I have nothing better to say. 


Everyone leaves, looking defeated and grim about the team’s chances of winning the Wild Card series. 

Share this

Related Posts

Previous
Next Post »