Raymond Island Season 4 Episode 8 - Emptying Nest

Raymond Island Season 4, Episode 8
Emptying Nest

Gretchen rushes through her front door.

Gretchen: We all got the same text, right?

Anthony: You mean the one about the family meeting?

Gretchen: Yeah, that one.

Toby: I had to miss soccer practice because of it!

Gretchen: It better be good is all I’m saying, I rushed home after a long day of getting nothing done for this.

Christina: Hi everyone! Glad you all made it!

Gretchen: You better not be pregnant! I am not taking care of a baby and we all know you can’t do it!

Christina: First of all, that’s hurtful.

Lucinda: It’s true!

Christina: Second, why would you ever guess I was pregnant?

Lucinda: Because you’ve been putti-

Gretchen: It was just where my mind went. I very much wanted for it not to be true.

Christina: No need to worry, I am definitely not pregnant. No, quite the opposite.

Lucinda: You’re announcing you’re a virgin? We’re not in Alabama, you don’t have to do that.

Christina: No. What I’m saying is rather than moving on to the motherhood stage of life, I’m finally going to jump back into my schooling. I’m going to college.

Lucinda: My prayers have been answered! This family’s not a sinking ship after all!

Gretchen: I never thought I’d see the day!

Lucinda: None of us did. I thought I’d go to my grave with only one of my grandchildren being a college graduate.

Gretchen: Mary and Eddie’s kids -

Lucinda: They don’t count, I barely know their names.

Toby: Wait, you think I’m going to be a college graduate?

Lucinda: Yes, unlike your sister, I have faith in you. You’re basically ignored, the ignored ones are always the most successful.

Gretchen: Like me!

Lucinda: Every rule has its exception.

Anthony: Honey, we are all so excited for you. I have to be honest with you, your mother and I were getting a bit worried about you, you didn’t seem motivated to kick off your adult life.

Christina: Oh, that’s always nice to hear.

Anthony: We were just concerned parents who want the best for our daughter.

Christina: I know that. I also know I haven’t been living up to your hopes for me. I’m ready to get out there now, though. Excited, even,

Gretchen: That’s how it should be. You know you’re ready now, and it means you’ll get a great kickoff to your real adult life. I felt much the same when I went to college around your age. Well, five years younger than your age.

Lucinda: It’s the end of May, have you visited any colleges? Have you applied? There are deadlines, you know.

Christina: I’ve done it all secretly. I didn’t want to tell anyone until I knew I got in.

Gretchen: Where’d you apply? Brown? Harvard? MIT?

Christina: Brown decided to pass on me.

Gretchen: You should’ve told me! I’m an alumnus who is currently the governor, I could have changed things!

Lucinda: You really think she’s an Ivy Leaguer? I don’t.

Christina: Wow!

Lucinda: You are a bright, charming young woman, any college would be lucky to have you. However… the Ivy League schools have very high standards and extremely demanding coursework. You tend to abandon projects midway through if they get too hard. It’s not a fatal flaw most places, but at Harvard… won’t go well.

Christina: At least you’re honest, I guess.

Lucinda: I tell it like it is.

Gretchen: You would have done great at Brown, but I respect any choice you make. What is the lucky college you plan to attend, by the way?

Christina: Salve Regina University.

Gretchen: In Newport?

Christina: That’s only forty-five minutes away.

Gretchen: But it means what I think it does, doesn’t it?

Christina: I don’t know, I can’t read minds.

Gretchen: You’re moving out.

Christina: While I’m at college, yeah. I’ll be here in the summer.

Gretchen: A lot of change happening! I’m proud of you, though!

Christina: Just remember, I’m always less than an hour drive away.

Lucinda: You’re going to a Catholic school?

Christina: Yeah. We’re Catholic.

Lucinda: Not good Catholics!

Anthony: Is there something wrong with a Catholic school?

Christina: I would love to hear the answer to this.

Lucinda: Your mother was the person who expanded abortion access in this state. I’ve seen Carrie, I know a setup when I see one. You’re getting pig’s blood poured over you when you walk into your dorm.

Gretchen: Thank you for reminding everyone of how effective I am and how good I am at my job.

Toby: Don’t worry, grandma, if I don’t make it into Harvard, I’m going to Brown. That way I can stay right here at home.

Lucinda: Look at this kid, Brown’s his fallback school.

Gretchen: So you’d choose Harvard over us?

Anthony: Honey, let it go.

Gretchen: It’s hard for me.

Lucinda: Don’t dwell on it! He doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting into Harvard, this family is not Harvard material.

Toby: You just said you believed in me!

Lucinda: You’ll do great things in life. You’re just not busting through that 4% acceptance rate.

Toby: That’s fair, I guess.

Christina: So we’re all on board with me going to college? Good.

Lucinda: I’m still not sol-

Christina: So we’re all good. Good to hear.

The next day, while Gretchen is at lunch…

Gretchen: You girls are never going to believe what’s going on at my house.

Susana: What did Lucinda do now?

Carol: It could have been one of the kids, too! So many stressors in that house.

Susana: Maybe it was her brother or sister.

Carol: Oh, yeah, Mary’s a handful.

Gretchen: Could you stop speculating about my family and just let me tell you/

Carol: This is much more fun!

Gretchen: Christina is going to college!

Carol: Oh my god! Never in a million years did I think -

Gretchen: Me neither! None of us did! I don’t know what finally got into her, but I’m so glad it did. She’s too bright not to dedicate herself to a good career.

Carol: You know, going to college doesn’t guarantee a good career. Susana went and look at her now.

Susana: I’d say being a senior aide to the governor is a pretty good start for a poli sci major, wouldn’t you?

Carol: Oh please, you’re a nepo baby!

Gretchen: I hired her fully on merit.

Carol: I don’t know if I believe that, but moving past it, I want to say that I’m glad Christina is going, because I know you were worried that she wouldn’t.

Gretchen: You don’t seem happy about it.

Carol: I‘m your chief of staff, preparing you for disappointment is basically the job title.

Samantha: Did someone call Raymond a disappointment? What zany antics did she do this time?

Gretchen: What are you doing here, Pratt?

Samantha: This is not your unique group hanging spot. It’s the capital cafeteria, not a swanky bar from Sex and the City.

Gretchen: By all means, come and join us, we weren’t in the middle of any important conversations or anything.

Samantha: Good to hear, I don’t need to be distracted by any heavy conversations. I have a bust day at work today.

Gretchen: You’re a lieutenant governor. What do you even do?

Samantha: I have eighteen statutory duties, all of them time-consuming. What do you do?

Gretchen: Anyway, moving on.

Samantha: That answers that question.

Gretchen: Back to Christina going to college. Isn’t it crazy?

Samantha: Your daughter’s not gone to college yet? Isn’t she thirty?

Gretchen (mockingly): Isn’t she thirty?

Samantha: I was asking a question! I was surprised!

Gretchen: There was a condescending tone.

Susana: Anyway, if I’m being honest, I’m not fully shocked. She was asking me about college a while back and she seemed very interested. She even asked me about applications.

Gretchen: You knew what she was thinking about and didn’t tell me? I wanted her to get into Brown, I could have pulled strings!

Samantha: Someone in your family going to Brown? That doesn’t seem far-fetched to you at all?

Gretchen: I went to Brown!

Samantha: Surely they wouldn’t make that same mistake twice.

Gretchen: Where did you go to college, oh wise one?

Samantha: That doesn’t matter.

Gretchen: And that answers that question.

Samantha: You know what? Maybe I should go eat with Jeanne and Hank. They don’t let me talk, but at least I don’t get abused by them.

Gretchen: You chose this seat!

Samantha: I’m going to go, good luck with your daughter’s college.

Susana: The reason I didn’t tell you is I didn’t want you to get your hopes up. If she was only asking out of pure curiosity rather than asking for advice, then you would have just been let down.

Gretchen: That’s fair, I suppose.

Carol: So you’re happy about college, I can guess?

Gretchen: I don’t know if “happy” is the word. I’m glad she’s getting her life going, it just breaks my heart that she’s leaving home. It didn’t hit me until now that one day, my babies would leave home.

Carol: I went through the same thing with Susana, she stayed in a dorm when she went to college and it was hard.

Gretchen: Oh no! Susana, you didn’t encourage this, did you?

Susana: She asked. I said it wasn’t that bad.

Gretchen: You’re fired.

Susana: I never encou-

Gretchen: Doesn’t matter. Pack your things and go. Don’t even finish your salmon. Just go.

Carol: She’s not being serious, just a joke.

Gretchen: Is it?

Carol: Are you that sad about Christina moving into dorm that you’d want ME to be your only senior staffer? I’m pretty incompetent.

Gretchen: Okay, fine. You’re not fired, Susana.

Susana: Thank god. This is the only job my poli ski degree is any good for.

Gretchen: I am very upset, though. It’s like Stevie Nicks said, even children get older, and that’s why the landslides happen.

Carol: I don’t know if that’s exactly how Stevie put it, but the song does make a good point, and it’s that you shouldn’t fear change. Change is inevitable, and instead of being brought down in a landslide, you have to learn to adapt.

Gretchen: You know me. Am I adaptable? Do I handle change well?

Carol: No…

Gretchen: Exactly! I’m a disaster!

Jeanne: Our governor, everyone.

Hank: Come on, Jeanne, give her a break. She’s clearly having some kind of a manic episode.

Gretchen: What are the two of you even doing listening to my private conversation?

Carol: In their defense, you did just should that aloud.

Hank: Talk in your office if you don’t want eavesdroppers. It’s fair game here.

Gretchen: Oh, like you wouldn’t just waltz into my office and eavesdrop there.

Carol: Ignore them. Gretchen, your kids are going to grow up, and though I’ve not yet experienced this, they’ll one day move out. It’s nothing personal against you, it just means you did your job and you got them ready for adulthood. One of them a little late, sure, but it did happen! They’ll always be your babies, they’ll always love and need you, so don’t fear the inevitable departure of both from your house. It’s them in your life that really matters.

Susana: And some of us will always be in both!

Carol: Yes, and it’s a blessing!

Later that night, when Gretchen gets into bed…

Gretchen: Anthony, can we talk?

Anthony: I was getting my mouthguard in, but sure. What ails you?

Gretchen: Nothing ails me, I just -

Anthony: You sound upset.

Gretchen: I’m not upset, I’m just a bit, I don’t know, concerned.

Anthony: Is this about your mother? WHat did she do now?

Gretchen: Why would you think it’s about mom?

Anthony: Isn’t it always?

Gretchen: This is about Christina.

Anthony: You’re not ready?

Gretchen: I thought I was.

Anthony: It’s understandable. No one is ever really ready for their kids to grow up. I’m not ready. I just know it’s for the best.

Gretchen: I know that, too, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Carol says a kid moving out is sign you did your job right. I just don’t know how moving away from us means we did something right.

Anthony: The point of parents is to provide constant love and support and care throughout childhood and then help them prepare for adulthood. Once that happens, we still love them, we still support them, but they don’t need to rely on us constantly. We can parent from afar. Always there when they need it, but not always looking over their shoulder and worrying about their every move

Gretchen: That doesn’t make me feel any better. I like being here for our kids. It reduces the amount of time I have to spend with my mother.

Anthony: See, I knew this wrapped around to your mother in some way. Just think, though, your mom lives with you. One day, you’ll probably live with Christina even if she doesn’t want you to.

Gretchen: Mom only lives with us because dad died. You’re not going anywhere.

Anthony: Honey, come on. We both know your mother put a hex on me, I’m not living a long life.

Gretchen: That is true.

Anthony: So did that make you feel better?

Gretchen: Thinking about your inevitable early death? Not really.

Anthony: You do know she’s never really going to leave, right? She’s always going to be around to drive us crazy. It’s her lifeblood.

Gretchen: I know. I just wish childhood didn’t fly by so fast. I wasn’t here for so much of it, too. I feel like I missed out.

Anthony: We raised a wonderful, smart, mostly-kind young woman who is going to go out now and take the while world by storm. There’s nothing more we could have done. We did a great job already.

Gretchen: I know, but selfishly, I wish I’d been able to experience more of it. That’s why, deep down, I’ve really appreciated her sticking around here well past when most kids would.

Anthony: We can’t change the past, just the present. Let’s just enjoy the time we have together now.

Gretchen: I suppose I will do just that.

Anthony: She said she’ll be back for summers, too. So that’s three months a year you get with her until she’s graduated. Lot to look forward to.

Gretchen: Okay, I’m feeling better now. You go put your mouthguard in, I’m tired.

Anthony: What, you’re not gonna watch Kimmel tonight?

Gretchen doesn’t answer. Anthony looks over to find she is asleep.

Anthony: Good night, my love.

The next morning…

Gretchen: Christina, can I talk to you?

Toby: Oooh, what did you dooooooo?

Christina: Nothing, turd brain.

Lucinda: Hey! You can insult him, but not with insults that lame! More creativity, please!

Christina: What did I do, mom?

Gretchen: Honey, I am so proud of you. I really, really admire you for taking this step.

Christina: You mean about college? You already told me how proud you were when I said I was going.

Gretchen: Yeah, this time I mean it.

Christina: You weren’t proud then?

Gretchen: I was proud, but out of selfishness, I was also upset you were leaving. Now I know this is really for the best. You’re going to do great, even if you are forty-five minutes away.

Christina: You know, most people go fart-

Gretchen: You are not going any farther away if you have any desire to continue living.

Christina: All right, Salve Regina it is.

Gretchen: I’m already concerned enough about you being that far away, In fact, I want you to have my old car. It’s run down, but it’ll get the job done and you can visit whenever you want.

Christina: Shut up!

Lucinda: Oh no, she’s getting mad. I wonder what idiocy my daughter is saying.

Christina: Mom, that’s amazing! I’ve never any real use for my driver’s license, now I get to be a regular Olivia Rodrigo.

Lucinda: Oh no, she’s talking about pop stars. She’s going to Berklee now, what a disappointment.

Gretchen: Honey, this is the start of an amazing new adventure for you. I can’t wait to see where it takes you, but we’ll always be her when you need it.

Christina: I really appreciate that.

Lucinda: What a bunch of hokey crap.

Gretchen: See, I have to support you, or I’ll turn into that.

What did you think of this episode of Raymond Island? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!

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