Raymond Island Season 4 Episode 10 - Like a Prayer

Raymond Island Season 4, Episode 10
Like a Prayer

Gretchen is walking in a parking lot while on the phone with Carol.

Gretchen: Carol, I gotta go, I’m just walking out of the store.

Carol: Are you only allowed to speak to me indoors?

Gretchen: I’m not going to talk to you while I’m driving, I’m not a reckless driver.

Carol: You don’t have a bluetooth headset?

Gretchen: I don’t need one.

Carol: You don’t have a car phone, either?

Gretchen: I have a cell phone, that feels more than sufficient.

Carol: You are such a luddite.

Gretchen: That is so untrue.

Carol: Can you not just stay on the phone while you drive? Put it on speaker phone and set it on the seat next to you.

Gretchen: What is so important that it can’t wait twenty minutes?

Carol: We were finalizing the yearly budget proposal plans.

Gretchen: Oh, right. I almost forgot, since it was so unbelievable that I did that while shopping for oranges.

Carol: Hey, doesn’t matter where any of this work gets done, just that it gets done. Back when we were in DC, I heard of multiple members of Congress that would finish writing their bills while  in the bathroom. It helped them relax.

Gretchen: I wish I didn’t know that.

Carol: Yeah, imagine you I felt hearing it. I felt so stupid for working for a senator who didn’t do anything insane and gave me no outrageous stories to tell!

Gretchen: I think I’ve made up for it since then, no?

Carol: Oh, easily.

Gretchen: If it makes you feel any better, I’ll set you on speaker phone and listen to you read the proposal aloud. I probably won’t say much, though - I need to stay laser focused on the road.

Carol: Doesn’t listening to a phone call also inhibit your focus on driving?

Gretchen: Hey, I can hang up now if you want.

Carol: No, if you want to risk it, I’m more than willing to allow you to.

Gretchen: That’s touching.

Carol: So, about the budget…

Twenty minutes later…

Carol: Are we all good with this? This is what we want to send to the house for approval?

Gretchen: Oh my god, is that a -

Gretchen crashes her car.

Carol: So, that a no?

Gretchen: Ugh…

Carol: Gretchen, did something happen?

Gretchen:I need you… to call… for help.

Carol: What has happened?

Gretchen: Crash.

Two hours later…

Anthony: Carol! What happened? How is she?

Lucinda: We came as fast as we could.

Christina: You wanted to finish General Hospital before we left!

Lucinda: But I didn’t! For promptness!

Carol: She’s fine, but she got lucky. She suffered what we believe is a concussion and a few cracked ribs in a car crash.

Anthony: A car crash?

Lucinda: Well, I don’t think I have to ask whether it was her fault or the other driver’s, so I’ll ask this: did she get anyone else hurt?

Carol: It was a one-car crash, no one else was injured. She ran into a post on a bridge.

Lucinda: Only my daughter manages to get into a car crash without crashing into any other cars.

Christina: I think the important thing, the takeaway, is that mom is fine and she’s going to be okay.

Lucinda: And also that she’s an idiot.

Anthony: Can we go see her?

Lucinda: Why, to tell her she’s an idiot to her face?

Anthony: You will be sitting in the waiting room today regardless of whether Gretchen can have visitors, you heinous little bridge troll.

Lucinda: Thank you.

Carol: You can visit her now. She’s taking a nap right now.

Anthony: A nap? With a concussion? Are they trying to kill her? Is the doctor a Republican? Is he getting revenge for Thorne?

Carol: The doctor is a trusted medical professional, he’s not trying to kill her. Plus, he donated to Gretchen’s campaign. I looked it up just to be safe.

Christina: So you said this happened on a bridge?

Carol: Yeah, she got lucky. If that metal post hadn’t been there, she could have driven right off of it and into the water.

Lucinda: Are we sure this wasn’t, uh, you know?

Carol: We were on the phone talking about the budget, she wasn’t trying to kill herself.

Lucinda: I’ll ask again: we’re sure this wasn’t a suicide attempt?

Carol: She asked me to call for help, I don’t think a suicidal person would do that.

Lucinda: Yeah, well she didn’t want yours to be the last voice she ever heard if she died!

Carol: Now I know why she’s always talking about how mean you are!

Lucinda: I’m trying to lighten the mood, is that so bad?

Anthony: Are there any doctors here that can speak with us? It feels weird not too have heard anything from them.

Carol: Yeah, I don’t know why they explained everything to me. I think they thought we were sisters or life partners or something. You guys go ahead in and see her, I’ll try to track down a doctor for you to hear from. They’re very busy today, I think a lot of people are accidentally blowing their fingers off with holiday fireworks or something.

Anthony: That would be great, thank you. To be clear, I meant that the doctor part is great, not that people are blowing off their fingers.

Lucinda: So am I allowed to see my daughter or no?

Anthony: If you’re on your best behavior.

Christina: He’s being really generous there, because even your best behavior is absolutely awful.

Lucinda: I try my hardest.

In Gretchen’s hospital room…

Christina: She looks so peaceful.

Lucinda: I like her best this way. At rest, with no chance to say something that will remind me of how disappointing she is.

Christina: You promised!

Lucinda: This is my best behavior! And it’s not like she’s awake!

Anthony: What if she’s just resting her eyes? She could hear you!

Carol: Hey! Found a doctor!

Anthony: Oh, thanks! That was fast!

Carol: The firework rush must have ended.

Anthony: I’ll take a step out and get the rundown. You guys, uh, watch her?

Carol: Been doing it for over an hour, very boring. Wouldn’t have it any other way, though, I’m a great friend. Plus, I have to remind her immediately when she wakes up that I was the one who saved her life.

Lucinda: She suffered a concussion.

Carol: And those can kill you! What if she got out of the car all confused and fell off the bridge into the water?

Lucinda: I’m going to say something I usually refrain from saying on account of my own personal failings in this regard: you’re nuts!

Ten minutes later, Anthony walks back into the hospital room.

Gretchen: Ah, look who’s finally arrived!

Anthony: Oh no, did you guys bother her and wake her up?

Lucinda: Why in the hell would I ever do that?

Toby: She woke up all on her own!

Gretchen: I was sleeping very lightly, they didn’t do anything. This time.

Anthony: So how are you feeling?

Gretchen: Considering everything… okay, I guess.

Anthony: The doctor says you can go home tomorrow. That’s good!

Gretchen: Ah, home! Where mom is!

Lucinda: I’ll nurse you right back to health.

Susana: Oh my god! I was stuck in traffic! Are you okay?

Gretchen: And who is this?

Susana: Oh no! She has amnesia? Is it permanent?

Gretchen: Susana, Susana. I’m fine. I was pulling your leg!

Susana: Don’t do that! I was scared!

Carol: Honey, I’m glad you’re here. I need you to release a statement to the press about the accident and let them know that the governor will be out of work until Thursday. We can’t let the media get ahead of us on this.

Gretchen: Thursday? I don’t need two days off!

Carol: Just take the time to recover. It’s not like we have anything to do anyway.

Gretchen: What about the budget proposal?

Carol: That’s written.

Gretchen: At least send it to me so I can read it before we send it off.

Carol: I read it to you over the phone!

Gretchen: You really want to reference that phone call, Carol?

Carol: I suppose not.

Toby: What actually did happen to you, mom? I was getting something from the vending machine when it was explained, I just know your head’s all banged up.

Gretchen: I almost drove off a bridge while swerving to avoid an animal. It was like the opening scene in Beetlejuice! Thankfully, I survived, unlike poor Geena Davis.

Anthony: They said you were very lucky to be alive, it was an absolute miracle that you hit that post.

Gretchen: Can’t say it felt like much of a miracle.

Anthony: If you’d swerved off at another point on the bridge, they say the gate likely would have given way and you’d have driven off.

Gretchen: Huh, me lucking out? I guess stranger things have happened.

Toby: Isn’t Beetlejuice the movie they’re making a sequel to starring Jenna Ortega?

Christina: Which one? She’s in everything.

Lucinda: Who is Jenna Ortega?

Christina: She’s an actress who plays Wedne-

Gretchen: Hey, you know who almost died? Not Jenna Ortega! Me! Can we get back to that? I am a miracle!

Lucinda: You’re a miracle all right.

Christina: I think we’ve been giving you ample attention, mom.

Lucinda: Yeah, no one likes a drama queen.

Gretchen: All right, I’m a little tuckered out from all this excitement. I think it’s time for another nap.

Anthony: Visiting hours are almost over, so we might not be here when you wake up. We’ll be here right away tomorrow to pick you up, though.

Gretchen: Don’t come too early, I’ll be sleeping in.

Lucinda: Just how much sleep are you looking to get? Are you evolving into a sloth like one of those Pokyman?

Christina: I believe it’s pronounced “Pokemon.”

Lucinda: Like I care.

Gretchen: All right, night-night everyone!

Later that night, Gretchen gets up and begins wandering the hospital when she finds the chapel.

Gretchen: Are you there God? It’s me, Gretchen. I don’t want to assume anything, because maybe you really don’t keep track of little old me, and that would be totally fine! You are so busy! However, I do think you’re aware of my little incident today. I almost died on that bridge, I’m told it was a miracle I didn’t. Instead, I just got a few scratches, cracked bones, bruised head. All survivable. I think you had something to do with that, so thank you. I haven’t really been visiting you much on Sunday mornings lately, and I haven’t been talking with you, so I don’t know why it is that you chose to save me. But that’s why you’re in charge, I guess. I’m not supposed to be able to make sense of it. I’m going to try to do better, and to be better.

Chaplain: Governor Raymond, is that you in there?

Gretchen: Oh, god! Did you hear that?

Chaplain: I wasn’t listening. I’m here on behalf of the nurses, they want you back in your room.

Gretchen: Am I not supposed to be wandering around the hospital at nine o’clock?

Chaplain: It’s not encouraged, no.

Gretchen: I’ll get back to bed. I’m tired, anyway. I’ve been away for like a half hour.

The next morning…

Anthony: It’s good to see you looking so strong. You’re almost back to your old self, you can’t tell anything is off aside from the stitches on your forehead.

Gretchen: Things have certainly changed, though! I’ve found God again!

Christina: You have found God? Do you mean you’ve been listening to that one Ariana Grande song over and over again?

Gretchen: No, I realized that someone up there was protecting me yesterday. I feel like I've been chosen by God to do something special, to be granted a new lease on life. I have to do something with it.

Christina: My mother, who didn’t want me to go to a Catholic university, is becoming born again?

Gretchen: I’m not born again, I just want to live my life to honor God. I don’t know, I feel like it would be a waste to not take this as an opportunity to try to make some sort of a greater impact. I can’t allow my rivals to walk all over me anymore. It’s time to fight back.

Lucinda: Just what God loves, fighting!

Gretchen: I’m fighting for the people. That is surely what God wants.

Lucinda: Just don’t turn into some sort of preacher. I might have to move out then.

Anthony: Honey, have you considered joining the clergy?

Thursday, at work…

Carol: What’s with the cross, Gretch?

Gretchen: It’s a long story, but let’s just say, I have been given a new divine inspiration to fight. How is this budget proposal looking?

Susana: Dead on arrival! Hank wo-

Gretchen: We have to take this to the public. Show how sleazy these people are, how they’re screwing over the people. Make the argument on TV and put pressure on them to pass it. We have a mandate from heaven.

Carol: Are you high?

Gretchen: No, I’m just motivated. I’ve always wanted to help people in this job, but now I feel as if it is my moral requirement todo so. Someone up there saved me from driving over that bridge, and I think it was because of this. I am meant to help people.

Carol: Via a state budget proposal?
Gretchen: There are provisions in that budget that will seriously help so many people. The homeless, the unemployed, the uninsured, the LGBTQ community. It is my duty to fight for all of them. I know this is what God wants.

Carol: Did they have Joel Osteen on the hospital TV or something?

Susana: She just mentioned helping the homeless, I don’t think Joel Osteen inspired this.

Gretchen: I just want my second chance at life to mean something. When I was in the hospital, Anthony told me it was a miracle that I survived. That’s stuck with me. I have to put the miracle to good use. I also know that God wants me around yet, because I prayed to him about ten times yesterday when Mary and Eddie were visiting me, asking him to kill me, and he didn't listen. Clearly, he has other plans for me!

Carol: Okay, we’re going to fight for the budget, and we’re going to help people, if it’s the last thing we do. But just remember, I was the one who really saved you. God doesn’t get all the credit!

What did you think of this episode of Raymond Island? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!

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