College Season 1 Episode 3: Club




COLLEGE

SEASON 1 EPISODE 3

“CLUB”

WRITTEN BY

WILLIAM X. FRY 



NUMB HUMOR STUDIOS


ANDREW VOICEOVER:
There are a lot of things you can do at college with your limited free time. You can study, you can get an on campus job, or you can join a club. There’s a club for practically anything. You name it, it’s probably a thing. However, finding and joining the right club isn’t easy.

INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY

Andrew and Edison stand in front of a tri fold. A member of the club is giving a pitch to them.

CLUB GUY
...and that’s why you two should join the taxidermy club.

Andrew and Edison stare at the guy blankly.

ANDREW VOICEOVER
Like I said. Practically anything.

Andrew and Edison walk away from the Taxidermy club stand.

EDISON
Tell me again why we’re here and not using the little free time we have napping?

ANDREW
C’mon man it’s important to join a club. You can meet new friends.

EDISON {sarcastically}
But Andrew, you’re the only friend I need.

Before Andrew can reply, Sarah appears and walks up to them.

SARAH
Hey.

ANDREW
Hey.

SARAH
Y’all join a club yet?

ANDREW
We’ve found some that sound interesting.

EDISON {sarcastically}
Yes the Stamp club really caught our attention.

SARAH
You’re kidding. A stamp club?

ANDREW
And a taxidermy club. What about you?

SARAH
Same as you.

ANDREW
So nothing interesting.

SARAH
Yeah. Hey my friend Brittaney and I are going to The College Club. They have trivia. Y’all want to join?

EDISON
Isn't The College Club basically a non alcoholic club for freshmen and sophomores?

SARAH
Yeah but I heard their milkshakes are amazing and the team that wins trivia gets a $100 gift card.

EDISON
Oh for real 100 dollars?! Yeah I’m down.

SARAH
Awesome! Andrew?

ANDREW
Yeah sounds fun.

SARAH
Alright. See you there.

Sarah leaves.

EDISON
We need to go to the library.

ANDREW
What? Since when do you want to go to the library?

EDISON
Since the only thing standing between me and $100 are some stupid facts. Now c’mon, we gotta study.

Edison pulls out his phone and activates Siri.

EDISON
Siri where is the library?

EXT. THE COLLEGE CLUB - NIGHT

Andrew and Edison walk up to The College Club.

EDISON
Which band sings the song Yesterday?

ANDREW
The Monkees?

EDISON
No The Beatles. C’mon man.

ANDREW
Sorry.

EDISON
Ok next question. Which president said “The only thing we have to to fear is fear itself”?

ANDREW
FDR.

EDISON
Correct!

STUDENT
Shhhhhhh!

EDISON
Oh relax. You’re in here on a Friday. Think about that.

INT. THE COLLEGE CLUB - NIGHT

Andrew and Edison enter the club. It is filled with college students sipping milkshakes and eating appetizers. Sarah, who is sitting at a table, sees them. She waves and Andrew and Edison join them.

SARAH
Ready?

ANDREW
Yep.

EDISON
He’s not.

BRITTANEY walks over to their table holding two milkshakes. She hands one of the milkshakes to Sarah.

BRITTANEY
Here’s your mint chip.

SARAH
Thanks. Guys this is Brittaney. We have English together. Britt this is Andrew and Edison. We live in the same dorm building.

ANDREW
Hey.

Edison doesn’t say anything. He stares Brittaney, completely enamoured by her.

EDISON
H-hi.

BRITTANEY
Hey.

ANDREW
What’s your major?

BRITTANEY
Journalism.

ANDREW
Cool.

EDISON
I like journalism.

Andrew sees that something is up with Edison.

ANDREW
We’re gonna go get a milkshake.

Andrew grabs Edison’s arm and they go to the “bar”.

ANDREW
Two chocolate shakes please. Dude what is with you?


EDISON
I think I’m in love.

ANDREW
You? You once said that “love” was a scam created by Hallmark to sell more Valentine’s Day cards.

EDISON
I still stand by that but I’m serious dude. There’s something about her. Something different.

The “bartender” hands them their chocolate shakes.

ANDREW
How about you get to know her first.

Andrew and Edison return to the table.

SARAH
Trivia is about to begin.

A college student walks onto a small stage with a microphone and some cards.

TRIVIA GUY
Ok ladies and gentlemen welcome to The College Club Trivia Night! Tonight’s prize is a 100 dollar gift card. Let’s get started. First question… Which president created the league of nations?

The teams huddle and discuss answers. Edison presses his team’s buzzer.

TRIVIA GUY
Team name?

EDISON
Edison and the Lightbulbs.

ANDREW
No.

EDISON
Edison and the Lightbulbs. Also the answer is Woodrow Wilson.

TRIVIA GUY
That’s correct! Five points to Edison and the Lightbulbs!

EDISON
Yes!

BRITTANEY
Nice job.

EDISON
Thanks.

TRIVIA GUY
Next question. It’s a pop culture question people. Which actor made his debut as James Bond in the film Casino Royale in 2006?

Sarah presses the buzzer.

SARAH
Daniel Craig!

TRIVIA GUY
Correct!

Andrew looks at Sarah.

SARAH
What? He’s hot.

Throughout the night, Edison and Lightbulbs win multiple questions while also losing to other teams.
  

TRIVIA GUY
Alright people we are down to the last question of the night. So far Edison and the Lightbulbs are tied with Sigma Alpha. Here is the question. The scientific unit named after Sir Isaac Newton measures what?

Sigma Alpha presses their buzzer.

SIGMA ALPHA GUY
Newtons!

TRIVIA GUY
No that’s the name of the unit.

Andrew presses his buzzer.

TRIVIA GUY
Edison and the Lightbulbs?

ANDREW
Force.

TRIVIA GUY
Correct! Edison and the Lightbulbs win!

Edison jumps out of his seat.

EDISON
Yes! Yes yes yessss!

Edison goes up to the trivia guy who hands him a gift card.

EDISON
This a gift card for the university gift shop.

TRIVIA GUY
A $100 gift card.

EDISON
Seriously? You know how hard I studied for this? I went to the library. I opened a book!

Andrew grabs Edison.

ANDREW
C’mon let’s go.

Andrew, Edison, Sarah, and Brittaney exit the club. Andrew and Sarah walk side by side.

SARAH
That was fun.

ANDREW
Yeah. I didn’t realize college could actually be fun.

SARAH
I think we should do it again.

ANDREW
Yeah. Although I think Edison will need some convincing.

SARAH
Then it could just be you and me.

ANDREW
Just us?

SARAH
Yeah.

ANDREW
Yeah. Sounds great.

Edison and Brittaney walk together.

BRITTANEY
Sorry you didn’t win what you wanted.

EDISON
It’s fine. At least I learned something.

Brittaney chuckles.

EDISON
Will you go out with me?

BRITTANEY
What?

EDISON
On a date. You know. Dinner. Maybe a movie?

BRITTANEY
Look I think your a nice guy but… I just met you and also… I kinda already have a boyfriend.

EDISON
Kinda?

BRITTANEY
We dated in high school and we’re trying the whole long distance thing.

EDISON
Ah I see.

BRITTANEY
Sorry...I should maybe go, it’s getting late.

Brittaney walks away. Andrew and Sarah appear next to Edison.

ANDREW
There there buddy. It's ok.

Edison doesn't say anything.

SARAH
Let's go buy some stuff at the gift shop.

The trio walk away towards campus.

INT. ANDREW'S AND EDISON'S DORM - NIGHT

Edison is laying on his bed dressed from head to toe in school memorabilia. Andrew is sitting at his desk doing homework.

EDISON
She said no… to me.

ANDREW
I know. I was there.

EDISON
I've dated a lot of girls. Like a lot. More than the average nineteen year old.

ANDREW
What are you saying?

EDISON
Why did she say no?

Andrew turns in his chair to face Edison.

ANDREW
Did you forget the part where she said she was still dating her boyfriend from high school?

Edison sits up.

EDISON
They're doing long distance. Long distance never works.

ANDREW
Well if that's true then they'll break up and you can ask her out then.

EDISON
You’re right. I need to break them up.

ANDREW
No. No that's not what I said. I said wait until they break up. Then you can ask her.

EDISON
Oh. Ok. I guess that'll work. Do you want some advice about Sarah?

ANDREW
Nope.

END.

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