Marietta Season 1, Episode 14 - Zero to Hero

 Marietta Season 1, Episode 14
 Zero to Hero

Marietta and Martin are having breakfast at the Café du Monde in the French Quarter.
Marietta: So I talked to Danny last night.
Martin: Oh really, how is he?
Marietta: He’s fine. He finished his work in Sierra Leone early. He’s going to Togo now and he won’t be home until July.
Martin: I’m so sorry.
Marietta: He PROMISED me that he'd be back in time for the election, and he knew how important this was to me. I don’t think he cares about me anymore.
Martin: Sure he does. He’s just busy, it’ll all be okay. He’ll be back in July. By that time, he’ll be the First Gentleman of New Orleans and the two of you can be happy together.
Marietta: I don’t think so. Before today, I hadn’t talked to him in four months and that conversation was just as unpleasant. He slammed the door on me! I think I’m going to get a divorce.
Martin: Well if all else fails, you can start your own First Wives Club once he gets remarried. You always did love that movie.
Marietta: Dad, that’s not helpful.
Martin: Just trying to lighten the mood. This conversation is making me sad. And I live with your mother, who doesn’t go a second without having cable news on.
Marietta: Let’s talk about my grandchild that’s on the way!
Martin: Finally something happy!
Marietta: Maria's morning sickness is continuing for longer than expected!
Martin: That wasn’t the happy news I thought it would be.
Marietta: On the plus side, the doctors say that everything is completely normal otherwise and the baby looks strong.
Martin: That’s what I’ve been waiting to hear!
Marietta: They also picked out a name already!
Martin: I didn’t even know they found out the gender!
Marietta: I think we've all been a little sidetracked. Grandma’s been busy doing keg stands and crying.
Martin: And now everything’s sad again!
Marietta: Anyway, they’re going to name the baby Katharine!
Martin: So it’s a girl, how lovely!
Marietta: What would give you that impression?
Martin: I don’t know many boys named Katharine.
Marietta: I’m just messing with you, of course it’s a girl!
Martin: There's about a hundred ways to spell that name, which one are they going with?
Marietta: K-A-T-H-A-R-I-N-E. Like Hepburn. Apparently Maria used to watch movies with her grandmother all the time and Katharine Hepburn was her grandmother’s favorite. They loved watching On Golden Pond together.
Martin: Is that the one with the loons?
Marietta: Yep.
Martin: I just hope they don’t call her Kathy.
Marietta: Other than the fact that I can’t ever imagine a baby named Kathy, why not?
Martin: That’s what we used to call your Aunt Kathleen when she was a child. I’m old, I get confused easily enough already.
Marietta: I think they’ll go with Kate.
Martin: That’s better.
Marietta: Well, we better get going. It’s almost eleven and we have to go work on the campaign. This late breakfast really messed me up.
Martin: I actually didn’t have anything planned. I was just going to go home and relax. We can get to work on Monday.
Marietta: Can you really relax at home? Isn’t mom still crying about Glenn Close losing the Oscar.
Martin: She stopped crying about that today actually. Instead she’s just watching Dangerous Liaisons on a loop.
Marietta: Ah, totally something a sane person does.
As Martin and Marietta walk out of the café, another diner starts choking.
Marietta: Oh my god! Someone help her!
Nobody in the café moves.
Marietta: Alright ma’am, I am here to help!
Marietta performs the Heimlich maneuver on the choking woman and she saves her.
Woman: Marietta Landfield just saved my life!
Marietta: All in a day’s work! How are you feeling? 
Woman: The name’s Leslie, and I’m feeling wonderful now. I would be dead without you.
Marietta: Oh, I’m sure someone else would have saved you. Probably not Amy Applewhite, but just about anyone else would have.
Leslie: I just want you to know, you’ve secured my vote. I was going to vote for Amy Applewhite, but now I just have to go for you. You can’t almost die choking on a beignet and then not vote for the person that kept you alive.
Marietta: Oh, thank you. Would you like a button?
Leslie: That would be great, thanks.
Marietta: Dad, can you get the kind lady a button?
Martin: I don’t have any with. This wasn’t supposed to be a campaign stop.
Marietta: I’m sorry Leslie, looks like I messed up. I can send you one if you’d like.
Leslie: Thanks, you’re too nice. Here’s my address.
Leslie hands Marietta a piece of paper with her address scribbled on it.
Marietta: Well then, I guess now’s the time to get home. I’ll send you the button straight away.
Two hours later, Milton calls Marietta, who is at home watching television.
Milton: What did you do?
Marietta: I didn’t do anything wrong, I swear!
Milton: I just saw your face on the news. They just showed a preview of what’s to come and they said “you won’t believe how one New Orleans mayoral candidate spent her morning.”
Marietta: I did save a choking woman at Café Du Monde. Maybe that’s it.
Milton: Wait, you’re being featured on the news for something positive? First time for everything, I guess.
Marietta: Oh shut up, I get tons of positive press. Like that one time that I introduced that bill in the Senate to rename a lake after Drew Brees.
Milton: That didn’t even pass.
Marietta: Doesn’t matter! I got positive coverage for it because nobody knows how Senate votes work!
Milton: That’s true. But then you went and screwed it up two days later, anyway.
Marietta: I can’t believe Mom hasn’t called yet. I mean, you called and you’re nowhere near as nosy as she is.
Milton: It will come. Patty Lynn Landfield doesn’t pass up an opportunity to pester her children.
Thirty minutes later…
Patty Lynn: Marietta! I’m outside your door!
Marietta: I can hear that mom. You didn’t need to narrate something that I’m already fully aware is happening.
Marietta opens the door and lets Patty Lynn in.
Patty Lynn: Alright, so I was watching my DVD of Dangerous Liaisons when I got a phone call from Marcy Cantor to turn on the news. She said that you finally did something that wasn’t embarrassing. I didn’t listen to her and I just drove here. What happened?
Marietta: Dad didn’t tell you?
Patty Lynn: No, he knew better than to get in between me and one of my films.
Marietta: I saved a choking woman’s life today! You might as well call me Meredith Grey.
Patty Lynn: Who’s that?
Marietta: Not important. But I guess my story’s big news around town. I can’t believe it!
Patty Lynn: You did a good thing, Marietta. I’m proud of you.
Marietta: Thanks mom. I’m mostly happy about the effect this will have on the campaign. Maybe instead of being “Keg Stand Mary” I’ll be “Marietta the Life Saver!”
Patty Lynn: Just don’t mess it up. Remember that time you tried to name a lake after Drew Brees and got all that positive press and then you bailed on appearing at the Mardi Gras parade and everyone was mad at you again?
Marietta: Why does everyone keep bringing that up today?
Patty Lynn: Because it’s such a Marietta thing to do. I just want you to win, sweetie. Try not to mess up.
Marietta: I won’t mom, I promise. But this is a much bigger deal than that Drew Brees bill.
Patty Lynn: I think you’re vastly underestimating this city’s love for Drew Brees.
Marietta: Alright mom, I should probably let you get back to Dangerous Liaisons. I have my Trading Spaces marathon to get back to.
Patty Lynn: What’s that?
Marietta: It’s a show. Bye now!
The next day, Marietta is watching TV when she gets a call from Martin.
Martin: Marietta, turn on the news!
Marietta: But Trading Spaces is on!
Martin: It can wait! You have to see this!
Marietta: Alright, fine.
On the news, anchor Jill Rocheneau is reporting on the campaign…
Jill: Yesterday saw a major development in the New Orleans mayoral election. Frontrunner Marietta Landfield saved a choking woman at a local New Orleans café, causing a local media frenzy an giving her campaign a huge spotlight. NOAN and The New York Times have just finished polling on the race and can exclusively release the first poll following the incident. For comparison reasons, you will see the two most recent polls, one from before the incident and one after, on the screen now.
Jill: Marietta Landfield has nearly doubled her previous poll result and is now leading by over fifty points. Amy Applewhite took the biggest hit, with her support crumbling by ten points.
Marietta: Oh my god dad, that’s great!
Martin: I know Marietta. Now you just have to keep up that image and you’ll be “Madam Mayor” in no time!
Marietta: I know, it’s so exciting!
Martin: Get ready to get more excited!
Marietta: What is it?
Martin: Your favorite talk show asked you to be on tomorrow’s show!
Marietta: Kathie Lee and Hoda? Oh my god, I've always wanted an excuse to drink at ten in the morning!
Martin: Eh, no. Your second-favorite talk show.
Marietta: Jimmy Kimmel Live?
Martin: Obviously I underestimated your love for this show. It’s The Spin Zone!
Marietta: The Spin Zone? What’s the big deal about that? It’s a cable show that airs at 5 PM weekdays and for three hours on the weekends and nobody watches it. They’re always desperate for guests! Marcy Cantor and Amy Applewhite got on that show the day of my keg stand incident. Last I checked, neither of them were national media darlings.
Martin: I wouldn’t go that far. They were calling you “Keg Stand Mary” only a month ago.
Marietta: That didn’t even make sense! My name isn’t even Mary and nobody calls me that!
Martin: See, you still get upset about the media ridiculing you. You should take this chance to fix things with them.
Marietta: Well, I guess.
Martin: Here's the only problem. They want you to appear at the same time as the local news wants you on.
Marietta: What’s the problem there? Just ask NOAN to just move me to a different hour.
Martin: This is the only time they had available.
Marietta: Oh come on!
Martin: So which one do you want to do?
Marietta: I guess The Spin Zone. That's probably the one that would get us more positive press.
Martin: I’ll call NOAN! You never know, maybe another time slot opened up!
Martin calls NOAN and is able to get Marietta moved to the 9 AM broadcast, the only other hour that they have available. He calls Marietta to tell her.
Martin: Great news! NOAN had an open slot for an interview during the 9 AM hour! 
Marietta: That’s so early!
Martin: You gotta take what you can get.
Marietta: Alright, sounds like a plan.
Martin: Good. This is gonna go well, I can sense it.
Two hours later…
Martin: Marietta! 
Marietta: Good lord, what is it dad? I was watching TV!
Martin: When aren’t you?
Marietta: Plenty of times.
Martin: Anyway, get ready for some big news!
Marietta: What is it?
Martin: Kathie Lee and Hoda want you on tomorrow’s show!
Marietta: I have never been more excited in my life! How did you do it?
Martin: They called us!
Marietta: Oh my god! I’m famous enough for the Today Show!
Martin: We have to get on a plane tonight so we can be there in time.
Marietta: Are Mom and Milton coming?
Martin: Your mother is. Milton’s gonna stay home. He’s pretty busy, Amy Applewhite is causing him troubles with the City Council.
Marietta: I’d expect nothing less of her.
That night, the Landfields make their way to their hotel.
Marietta: I can’t believe we’re staying at the Plaza. Isn’t that a little extravagant for a two-night stay?
Martin: When in Rome…
Patty Lynn: We’re not in Rome, silly!
Marietta: Mom, come on.
Martin: We do have to stay together in one room, but that shouldn’t be a problem. Nobody can hog the bathroom, though.
Patty Lynn: Hear that Marietta?
Marietta: Me? He was talking to you!
Patty Lynn: Don’t lie. There’s no shame in taking an eternity to put on some makeup.
Marietta: At least I don’t put on so much makeup that I look like a badger.
Patty Lynn: That’s mean!
Marietta: I was referencing The Favourite, I wasn’t trying to be mean!
Patty I know what you were doing. How dare you remind me that Glenn Close lost the Oscar?
Marietta: Oh, mom. I’m going to sleep.
Martin: It’s only nine.
Marietta: I need to look good for my interview tomorrow! It’s a big day!
Martin: Patty Lynn, what has happened to our daughter?
Patty Lynn: I don’t know, but I'm scared.
The next day, Marietta and Martin arrive at the studio for her interview while Patty Lynn goes sightseeing in New York.
Marietta: Dad, this is unreal. I watch this show every day and now I’m finally on it!
Martin: You’ve made our entire career about helping people, and you’re finally getting recognized for it. I’m so proud of you.
Marietta: Aww, dad!
Martin: Also, make sure to get their autographs because this isn’t going to happen again.
Marietta: Dad! It could happen.
Martin: No, I mean Kathie Lee is leaving in a month so this will not happen again. But you might do something down the line that’ll get you on the Today show. I believe in you!
Marietta: Thank you. Now I have to go, it’s nearly time for my interview!
Martin: Good luck, I’ll be watching from backstage!
Five minutes later, Marietta’s interview begins.
Hoda: She’s a former United States Senator who became a social media sensation over the weekend when a video of her saving a choking woman went viral. Now, she’s here with us to talk about the experience. Please welcome Marietta Landfield.
Marietta: I can’t believe I’m meeting Kathie Lee and Hoda! I watch you guys every morning when I wake up and I’ve always wanted to be on the show. This is a dream come true. And Kathie, we’re all just gonna miss you so much when you leave.
Kathie Lee: Thanks for that sweetie, that’s very nice to hear.
Marietta: Oh, and I’d also like to say that it’s great to be here on Boozeday Tuesday, and I very much appreciate this glass of pinot grigio. Finally an excuse to drink at ten in the morning!
Hoda: We’re happy to help. So, on to the incident from this weekend. What went into your mind when you saw the woman choking?
Marietta: Well to be quite honest, I wasn’t sure what to do. I actually cried out for someone else to help because I was so shocked. Once it became clear than nobody else would do it, I just ran to her and I performed the Heimlich maneuver and I guess that saved her life. The outpouring of love from the New Orleans community has been really beautiful. But most of all, I’d like to point out how beautiful the response from Leslie’s family has been. It’s been a very nice experience.
Hoda: And Leslie is the woman who you saved, correct?
Marietta: Yes, that’s her! And I think you guys have a picture of us together.
Hoda: Let’s show that on the screen right now.
Kathie Lee: Oh, look how sweet that is.
Marietta: She’s really a lovely lady. My office was actually able to get in contact with her and we were able to speak yesterday, and she’s so kind and gracious.
Hoda: That’s really great to hear.
Kathie Lee: Some of our viewers may not know, but you’re actually running for mayor of New Orleans.
Marietta: I am!
Kathie Lee: Has this event impacted the campaign in any way?
Marietta: You know, at first I wan’t expecting it to. I didn’t expect it to become notable at all and I just tried to do the right thing. But once it really blew up, like I said earlier, I started to get such an outpouring of support and love just for doing something good. That’s really missing in politics, and I think that this really has caused some of the toxicity that comes with campaigning to just go away. I’ve also seen a pretty large lift in the polls and I really think that’s because people want to see some goodness in politics, and they really respond well to that when it really happens. Showing kindness and compassion to your fellow man is a message that everyone needs to spread, especially in politics.
Hoda: Well we’ve run out of time for today’s interview. Thanks to Marietta Landfield for being here, and we’d love to see you again real soon.
Marietta: Wait! Before I go, could you guys quick sign this photo I have? Like I said, I’m a huge fan!
Kathie Lee: Sure!
Hoda: Want a picture, too?
Marietta: Of course! Let me get my phone out!
That night in New Orleans, Amy Applewhite and Betty Benoit are appearing on the 5 o’clock news for an interview with Jill Rocheneau.
Jill: So ladies, what would you like to talk about? I will admit that you’re a pretty unlikely pairing.
Betty: First, I would like to announce that I am crossing party lines to endorse Councilor Applewhite in the mayoral election. She has shown great responsibility and class throughout this campain, unlike ex-Senator Landfield.
Jill: What is it about Senator Landfield that has upset you so much that you had to endorse her biggest primary opponent.
Betty: Well Jill, she just doesn’t care about the people of New Orleans very much. She was practically a DC resident who decided that she couldn’t let her political career go, so she ran for mayor. She sees this as a consolation prize, not the sterling opportunity for change that Councilor Applewhite sees it as.
Jill: Councilor Applewhite, how do you respond to people that say you’re scrambling to get emdorsements just because you’re seeing your poll numbers drop?
Amy: That’s nonsense. But not as nonsensical as the fact that Marietta Landfield is currently in New York on a press tour with the liberal media elite. And she didn’t even care about our local media enough to call and cancel when she had other engagements. Meanwhile, I am here in New Orleans working for change and progress in this city. It’s clear who cares about this city and who does not.
Thirty minutes later, Marietta gets a text from Milton.
Marietta: Milton just texted me this video of Amy and Betty on NOAN.
Martin: What’s it about? 
Marietta: Dad, did you ever call to cancel my interview on NOAN?
Martin: I forgot.
Marietta: I think I know what this is about then. I’m gonna go cry.
Patty Lynn: Cheer up Marietta, at least you got to meet Kathie Lee and Hoda.

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