Our House episode 4 premieres Thursday, February 7 at 8pm Eastern. In the meantime, here is a teaser for what you’ll read. Enjoy!
Andrea Campbell of the Lakely Action News stops Betty for an interview.
Andrea: Excuse me, ma’am. I believe you witnessed the robbery. Can you tell us a bit about yourself and what you witnessed?
Betty: Betty Bellwood is my name, and I witnessed everything!
Andrea: How did you feel when you witnessed the robbery, Ms. Bellwood?
Betty: It was scary. But also thrilling! I asked Suzy what to do if I saw a robbery, but she didn’t answer.
Andrea: Who is Suzy?
Betty: My phone.
Andrea: Oh, you mean Siri?
Betty: I’ve been told that that’s the real name, but I like Suzy better.
Andrea: Okay. Moving on, what in particular did you see?
Betty: I saw a man. And he had a strange face. Can’t put my finger on it, but something about his face was weird. And do you watch Riverdale?
Andrea: No… Why?
Betty: Because the thief looked like one of the guys on the show. I don’t remember the real name of guy he looked like, because I call them all by nicknames, but my nickname for the guy he looked like is Scarface.
Andrea: Because he has a scar?
Betty: No, because he does a lot of drugs. Keep up!
Andrea: So there you have it folks, the Henrico County Carnival Bandit is a man, who has a face and he resembles a drug addict from Riverdale.
Betty: Oh, and he had a t-shirt on!
Andrea: Do you remember what the shirt said?
Betty: Something stupid.
Andrea: Can you elaborate?
Betty: Nope, all I remember is that whatever was on his shirt bugged me.
Andrea: Do you remember anything else about the bandit?
Betty: He seemed Jewish.
Andrea: How so?
Betty: I’m a quarter Jewish myself. I can spot one of my own people when I see them.
Andrea: So he’s also potentially Jewish. Anything else about him that you remember?
Betty: Of course! He was- Actually, I can’t think of anything else.
Andrea: Well, this has certainly been an interesting interview. Thank you very much for your time, Mrs. Davis I’m Andrea Corwell, reporting live from the Henrico County Carnival. Back to you and Karen in the studio, Nate.
Betty: Actually, my last name isn’t Davis. It’s Bellwood. Could you clarify that?
Andrea: No can do, the show is already on to a different story.
So, how did I do?
Andrea: I’ve never seen a bigger trainwreck.